Wanting to be physically attacted.....

walldancer
walldancer Posts: 910
in Chit-Chat
....to someone in order to date them romantically is NOT "superficial"! Dating people based SOLELY on their physical attraction, and not caring who they are..IS. I'm really tired of being called "superficial" because I dont' want to go out with a guy my dads age with a beer gut! Yes, I'm sure he's a nice fellow, awesome if he has a great job..good for him...but I am NOT going to let some guy I find physically unattractive put his penis in me. Yes, we all get old and ugly...but once you love someone you love them, and that is years away. I'm not going to try and force something that just isn't there. Why is it that nobody seems to have issue with guys who don't date fat/old/otherwise unattractive to them women..but when a woman wants a guy who's physically attractive we're "superficial"? Sorry, I want the package!
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Replies

  • sadiescully
    sadiescully Posts: 40
    I think thats totally fair enough lol... loved your post. I agree that i so couldnt just settle for just personality either.
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    Sorry, I want the package!

    Bow chicka bow bow. Oh yeaaaaaah!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I can see how you should be selective...

    You know you seem like the whole package, a real catch.
    You can't even spell attracted.
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
    I just went through this...attracted mentally and emotionally but not physically. I would rather be honest than string someone along.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Nothing wrong with that at all.

    Honestly, if you've spent any time talking to a guy, even if you weren't attracted at first, if he's the right guy sometimes personality and chemistry overcome the physical. But if that hasn't happened, it probably isn't going to and no one should expect you to force it.

    Sounds like this guy wants YOU and is trying to shame you into being with him to prove you're not superficial or whatever. I don't know who this guy is, but I would cut off any and all contact from now on if that's possible. What a rapey creep.
  • TitzzMcGhee
    TitzzMcGhee Posts: 116
    Personally, there needs to be some physical attraction. Although I think there are many things more important than looks like character, intellect, and sense of humor.
  • SurfyFriend
    SurfyFriend Posts: 362 Member
    We're pretty lucky we live in a society where we are free to choose our own partners.
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    You can't make a cake with flour alone. And you can make one without flour, but it tastes a helluva lot better with it.
  • _Emma_Problema_
    _Emma_Problema_ Posts: 261 Member
    You know, when you're not stuck on looks, you find that people become attractive because of their traits. It's the little things-the way they laugh or small mannerisms or the way they treat you. That's what matters to me. I grow into my attraction, just like I grow into attachment or love.

    It's not called "wanting the whole package". It's called not being shallow.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I already said this yesterday.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    Being shallow is not illegal. If you truly are shallow, then picking an ugly old fat guy to show otherwise is only gonna end in a disaster. Go with whoever rocks your boat.

    In time as you get older, you will realize that there are other qualities of a person you find more endearing than plain look and physique. Or not. Either way, don't get into any relationship to prove a point, do it only because you like the guy.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    1366231258195.jpg
  • valarielala
    valarielala Posts: 15
    You know, when you're not stuck on looks, you find that people become attractive because of their traits. It's the little things-the way they laugh or small mannerisms or the way they treat you. That's what matters to me. I grow into my attraction, just like I grow into attachment or love.

    It's not called "wanting the whole package". It's called not being shallow.



    Pretty much.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.

    I think everyone wants to be physically attracted to their partner, but women are somehow expected to conjure up lust based strictly a guy's good personality. That's just not something we're all capable of.
  • londonboyben
    londonboyben Posts: 314 Member
    this post saddens me,
    being a nice guy is my only selling point

    mfp needs to hurry up and get me a body to match
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    I agree with you! If it's not there it's not there. :drinker:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    this post saddens me,
    being a nice guy is my only selling point

    mfp needs to hurry up and get me a body to match

    If being a "nice guy" is your only selling point, then I am afraid that you need more than just an improved physical appearance. Many women also like wit, humor, charm, confidence, and various other traits.
  • londonboyben
    londonboyben Posts: 314 Member
    lol, yep your right mate, guess i am doomed

    oh well, celibacy for me then!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Sorry, I want the package!

    Bow chicka bow bow. Oh yeaaaaaah!

    Oh my...I think she meant she wants.."the FULL package" meaning a well rounded person. Right OP? You didn't mean to go on the interwebz proclaiming a desire for "the package" right?
  • BrotherBill913
    BrotherBill913 Posts: 662 Member
    When I was in my mid 30s I owned a lawn service. I had a wealthy Filipino family as a client. They had a very wealthy Aunt in the family. She owned a few furniture stores. Well she started showing up on Tuesday and FRidays just about when I'd get there. Odd... lol... started by bringing me tea, I'd say Thank You , go back to work. Progressed to how " Good: she ciould make my life,,,..... lol.... I was like ummmmmmm, No Thank You I'm good :) Luvvvvv can't be bought, it takes mutual attraction regardless of age or race or ethnicity. You deserve good things, we all do. :)
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    with enough makeup and plastic surgery, anybody can look attractive.
  • SJackson50
    SJackson50 Posts: 282 Member
    I get what the OP is talking about...you can't see a great personality from "across a crowded room" :-)
    That being said, there are people who become more attractive as you get to know them...but it always starts with some sort of physical attractiveness.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    The older I get the less I'm interested in looks. I like good guys.
  • megabyt23
    megabyt23 Posts: 580 Member
    I wouldn't consider myself shallow by any means, but there does have to be a certain minimum level of physical attraction to make any relationship work. I do agree that people can become more or less attractive based on their personality though, and that's a huge part of it!
  • megabyt23
    megabyt23 Posts: 580 Member
    this post saddens me,
    being a nice guy is my only selling point

    mfp needs to hurry up and get me a body to match

    If being a "nice guy" is your only selling point, then I am afraid that you need more than just an improved physical appearance. Many women also like wit, humor, charm, confidence, and various other traits.

    I agree with this. haha
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    this post saddens me,
    being a nice guy is my only selling point

    mfp needs to hurry up and get me a body to match

    If being a "nice guy" is your only selling point, then I am afraid that you need more than just an improved physical appearance. Many women also like wit, humor, charm, confidence, and various other traits.

    You're both cute, too. But whierd's right. That other stuff is as important as looks, if not more so... Especially as relationships mature.
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 367 Member
    this post saddens me,
    being a nice guy is my only selling point

    mfp needs to hurry up and get me a body to match

    Having money helps I'm told . . .
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Why would anybody think you should force yourself to date a guy that's as old as your dad?
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
    I only dates supermodels.
  • Marina809
    Marina809 Posts: 38
    Physical attributes are what first attract a person to another. It's natural. You see it in many animals, eg. a male peacock. Nothing wrong with that at all. But, if that's all there is then you probably won't stay attracted for long. On the other hand, you may accidentally (because you normally wouldn't look twice at them) discover things about a person that make them completely attractive to you regardless of their physical attributes. So, only considering those that are physically attractive as potential dating partners may cause you to miss out on a lot of prospects. I leave myself open to all possibilities.

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