Wanting to be physically attacted.....
Replies
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....to someone in order to date them romantically is NOT "superficial"! Dating people based SOLELY on their physical attraction, and not caring who they are..IS. I'm really tired of being called "superficial" because I dont' want to go out with a guy my dads age with a beer gut! Yes, I'm sure he's a nice fellow, awesome if he has a great job..good for him...but I am NOT going to let some guy I find physically unattractive put his penis in me. Yes, we all get old and ugly...but once you love someone you love them, and that is years away. I'm not going to try and force something that just isn't there. Why is it that nobody seems to have issue with guys who don't date fat/old/otherwise unattractive to them women..but when a woman wants a guy who's physically attractive we're "superficial"? Sorry, I want the package!
Hmmm. There must be some other context to this post that I am unaware of, but luckily that won't stop me from replying. Your profile says you are 42. So I am assuming your dad is in his 60's. No offense intended towards sexagenarians, but what friend of yours feels that you need to date someone in their 60's? To make matters worse, apparently you are not suitable for just anyone in their 60's. It must be an unattractive person in their 60's with a beer gut. To be candid, it seems that this friend does not think highly of you.
Problem solved: get a new friend. (if it is a family member, you can safely ignore them. No one really listens to family members when it comes to dating.)
Next, I think your quote would make a good T-shirt: "I am NOT going to let some guy I find physically unattractive put his penis in me." It's fun and practical.
On a serious note, dating someone you aren't physically attracted to is kind of a waste of time for both people. Anyone telling you differently is either insecure about their personal level of attractiveness or trying to rationalize why they married their partner. (Yes, I sometimes enjoy throwing fuel on the fire.)0 -
this post saddens me,
being a nice guy is my only selling point
mfp needs to hurry up and get me a body to match
If being a "nice guy" is your only selling point, then I am afraid that you need more than just an improved physical appearance. Many women also like wit, humor, charm, confidence, and various other traits.
I agree with this. haha
me too, was being a little sarcastic, obviously that got missed by the greater beings in chit chat
,
,0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
:laugh: :sad:0 -
Jeez, physical attraction fades a bit anyway through the years, so I absolutely believe that initial attraction has to be there. Of course, all the non-physical stuff has to be there too, and I'm much more attracted to my boyfriend's mind than his body, but i think hes gorgeous too. And why would you have sex with someone who doesn't attract you sexually? A relationship with no physical attraction is pretty much just a friendship.
If you're with someone for years, things can change physically, of course, but at that point there's so much more than looks between you. At the beginning, though? Such a necessary part of the relationship equation.
I would be devastated if my boyfriend wasn't physically attracted to me. We take care of our looks for each other just as much for ourselves.0 -
If I'm attracted to a woman mentally and emotionally, I'm not going to let her looks determine how I feel. Successful relationships aren't built on physical attraction. They are built on emotional connections. Now if you are talking about just playing around and wanting sex with no commitment then I'd say physical attraction is very important. You aren't looking for that emotional connection, just physical pleasure.0
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Nothing wrong with that at all.
Honestly, if you've spent any time talking to a guy, even if you weren't attracted at first, if he's the right guy sometimes personality and chemistry overcome the physical. But if that hasn't happened, it probably isn't going to and no one should expect you to force it.
Sounds like this guy wants YOU and is trying to shame you into being with him to prove you're not superficial or whatever. I don't know who this guy is, but I would cut off any and all contact from now on if that's possible. What a rapey creep.
Agreed, if you talk to someone and end up really getting along chemistry can overcome physical appearance rather quickly, or even skew your physical traits preference. But if that doesn't happen don't call them ugly lol, they're just not right for you. Someone else might find them adorable.0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.
I was thinking this! There are a ton of guys on here over 40 who look fantastic.0 -
I like your post, just like the saying goes, "You look for what you think you deserve". :-). I still think from my own experience that true beauty is skin deep. However, you still want to be with someone that has a strong will and cares about their health.0
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Well from experience ..i kinda hate all the perfect/hot women their personality makes them look like snails in my eyes i would only have a good times with them an that's it nothing more ..maybe not all of them have bad personality but all the good looking women that i have been with were all ugly from the inside ...so i would Date/marry an average or less women with a good personality ..but that's just me .0
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Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.
I was thinking this! There are a ton of guys on here over 40 who look fantastic.
Yeah, and while it is reasonable to expect a guy to work on his health, fitness and appearance. It's not reasonable to expect that all men will not go bald. It's a fact of life. And men are still attractive when they go bald.0 -
Well from experience ..i kinda hate all the perfect/hot women their personality makes them look like snails in my eyes i would only have a good times with them an that's it nothing more ..maybe not all of them have bad personality but all the good looking women that i have been with were all ugly from the inside ...so i would Date/marry an average or less women with a good personality ..but that's just me .
Well, hello there!!
And for the record, I definitely don't think that being over 40 equals fat, balding and washed up. Find someone with similar interests (read healthy living and active) and you are bound to find quite the opposite. There are a lot of amazingly good looking and just overall great men over 40.....I see a ton of them here on MFP 0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.
Yup. I have seen plenty of smokin hot men over 40. Oh and just a tip, but if you don't want people to think that you have an expiration date on your looks and ability to be attractive, I would say that you should probably not make generalizations that all people of the opposite sex over a certain age are hideous.
I plan on being as sexy as I wanna for as long as I wanna.0 -
I believe we are wired that way but the entertainment
world perpetuates it, thus ppl become more into looks
than the rest of the qualities. Like a sense of humour,
integrity etc. take second place to most when attracted
to someone.0 -
No long term relationship is built on physical attraction. Attraction be it physical is just a door opener. Ultimately the most important thing is can that person satisfy all your wants and needs. With that being said more likely than not really overweight women will not see an advance from me. Nether will a woman who smokes no matter how attractive she is. I have several female soul mates and I'm not married to them. We are perfect matches but married to other people. You should seek out a soul mate and place looks second to compatibility. Good Luck0
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As much as I hate to say this but, the starter of this thread is right...
She has the right to love anyone she chooses regardless of the reason...
And this reply comes from a very ugly person...0 -
To each their own. What may not be attractive to you may be exactly what another woman is looking for. You know what you like, so if you like younger guys that are in good physical shape- go for it.
I think that chemistry is very important when starting a relationship- why start dating someone if you are repulsed by them? But chemistry for me has come in different packages, I have dated thin guys, heavy guys, short guys, not as short guys (I would say tall guys, but I would be lying, I have a thing for shorter men, haha). i wouldn't have accepted a date with them if I found them unattractive to me. Just as I am sure they wouldn't have asked me out if they found me unattractive.
Once you find a mutual attraction/chemistry,then comes the important stuff; their personality, sense of humor, mannerisms, lifestyle, the "whole package" as you put it. I wish you luck finding your whole package.0 -
Hmmm. There must be some other context to this post that I am unaware of, but luckily that won't stop me from replying. Your profile says you are 42. So I am assuming your dad is in his 60's. No offense intended towards sexagenarians, but what friend of yours feels that you need to date someone in their 60's? To make matters worse, apparently you are not suitable for just anyone in their 60's. It must be an unattractive person in their 60's with a beer gut. To be candid, it seems that this friend does not think highly of you.
Problem solved: get a new friend. (if it is a family member, you can safely ignore them. No one really listens to family members when it comes to dating.)
This pretty much sums up what I was thinking.
Have you looked at your profile?!?! Based on your pics I thought you were late 20's, early 30's at most, you are 42 and you look better than most women my age! (I won't make a joke about being the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but ftr I was thinking it.)
I would imagine that you have a very wide selection of possible suitors, don't listen to stupid people telling you to settle, they aren't your friends anyway.0 -
Both looks and personality matter. I'd also like to point out that the looks vs. personality thing is a false dichotomy. Some people have both, and some people have neither.
I've never had any problem with self-identifying as shallow, though. Sure, I'm shallow. Whatever.0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.
Yup. I have seen plenty of smokin hot men over 40. Oh and just a tip, but if you don't want people to think that you have an expiration date on your looks and ability to be attractive, I would say that you should probably not make generalizations that all people of the opposite sex over a certain age are hideous.
I plan on being as sexy as I wanna for as long as I wanna.
I didn't make generalizations - I said MY demographic. I agree that there are plenty of physically attractive guys of all ages (yes, even the 60-somethings), but I'm only talking about the guys that would date me. Hence one of the many reasons to make improvements to myself.
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Well from experience ..i kinda hate all the perfect/hot women their personality makes them look like snails in my eyes i would only have a good times with them an that's it nothing more ..maybe not all of them have bad personality but all the good looking women that i have been with were all ugly from the inside ...so i would Date/marry an average or less women with a good personality ..but that's just me .
Well, hello there!!
Hey cat do we think alike ?? haha 0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.
I am bald and under 30. YOU AREN'T BETTER THAN ME DIRT0 -
Sometimes even if the person is not attractive the personalities are and that makes them irresistible so do not turn someone away because of the way they look you will be amazed if you take your time ! You may loose more then you gain at the end.0
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I love looking at men who are physically attractive, however man with average looks with a great sense of humor and the ability to make me feel safe, secure, confident and attractive would be extremely sexy to me. That is the total package for me.0
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but women are somehow expected to conjure up lust based strictly a guy's good personality.
Is it the law where you are because that is news to me....0 -
Sadly, at 47 the old, bald guys with the beer guts ARE my dating demographic, and I still don't want their penises anywhere near me.
Not all men over the age of 30 are old and washed up. I'm pretty close to your age and neither bald nor have a beer gut.
I am bald and under 30. YOU AREN'T BETTER THAN ME DIRT
Dude if I had half your charm with the ladies I'd shave my head!0 -
I have not bothered to read most of this thread. But I can say with certainty that both whierd and dirtnap are incredibly handsome men. Charming, humorous, and absolutely lovely.0
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I have not bothered to read most of this thread. But I can say with certainty that both whierd and dirtnap are incredibly handsome men. Charming, humorous, and absolutely lovely.
Orgy time.0 -
So I'm married to a man 25 years older then me.. and with age the metabolism slows and age wrinkles appear and you might even lose hair. I think my hubby is the most handsome man on this planet and I find him attractive in every aspect. However according to you since my hubby is the age he is and doesn't have the body of a young fit thing, I dont have the whole package... mind telling me what I'm missing then??0
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loving all the catty judgements on the OP for being honest.
if attraction wasn't an issue then we'd all be bi.0
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