6 steps to success - Satire

JasonT1973
JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
in Chit-Chat
MFP - we are now home to the greatest diet guru of all time... ME. For just a nominal fee I will follow you around advising you on the best course of action while eating. I employ the latest and greatest of technics. Technic #1: Guilt - "You really think that peanut butter pie is a great idea right now?" #2: Professional advice - "One more slice of that pizza and you probably won't get promoted." #3: Fashion advice -"Damn, I guess you don't want to fit into your LBD!" #4: Snark - "You are making the right choice with the mega cheese fries, because mega means diet right?" #6: The ultimate weapon... Samuel L. Jackson approach: "Put that mother****ing cheese burger DOWN!"

Replies

  • Jenny9000
    Jenny9000 Posts: 45 Member
    You're hired.
  • phonepest
    phonepest Posts: 43
    Too funny! Humor is an excellent "dieting tool"!
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    Where can I get some peanut butter pie?
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
    Thanks Jenny - My first client!!
  • sakuragreenlily
    sakuragreenlily Posts: 334 Member
    How much is this "nominal fee" and are you willing to relocate?
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,035 Member
    .... peanut butter pie??



    :love:
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
    How much is this "nominal fee" and are you willing to relocate?

    I will relocate if the cost of moving is paid.
    As for the fee - I apologize now to the fellas but the ladies get a huge discount.
    guys 50 air dollars
    girls 25 air dollars
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
    .... peanut butter pie??



    :love:

    I love peanut butter pie - although it is evil.
    1 jar of jiffy creamy
    1 cup confection sugar
    1 pint heavy whipping cream
    1/2 cup melted chocolate
    1 pie shell
    1 week of guilt :cry:

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