I feel weird.

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2

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  • blc1971
    blc1971 Posts: 170 Member
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    I can understand what you are saying. I am feeling some of those things now myself. I know I've lost 40 lbs and am smaller, but I still look in the mirror and see the old me. I'm 5'7" and approx. 173 lbs but sometimes I will rub my shoulder and it feels so small!! It's just as you said, like you aren't touching yourself but someone else. But it's still you! I was putting my son to bed last night and as I reached up to pull the chain on the light, I caught a glimpse of a woman in the dresser mirror who looked slim and athletic...then I realized that was ME!! LOL! Now I have a long way to go but I caught a glimpse of who I am becoming and I liked what I saw. I do still have some mental catching up to do though! Blessings on your journey...we will get there!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    Your mind is crazy.

    But in all honesty, I've been there. I'm still there at times. I used to hold my bloated, tubby tummy as a security blanket. Now I find my hands rest on my stomach at night because I'm still 'freaked out' about how different it is. Like I have to touch it just to make sure it's real?

    I still don't feel like me. I'm waiting to reach the magical 'right weight' or dye my hair the right color or tan just the right amount or SOMETHING to match my insides and outsides and I wonder if it's just going to take time to get used to...like, we spent so much of our lives seeing ourselves one way, maybe this is no different.

    Way to make me think this early in the morning. T_T

    /passes the coffee
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    'Hugs'

    I think your feelings are normal. For some reason we humans are wired to resist change. It's good that you're aware of the feelings because I think sometimes it is exactly these feelings that 'scare' us into quitting and going back to our old, comfortable ways. I know in the past it's kept me from continuing on and I've become stuck or gained some of the weight back. I realized what was going on this time and I'm now 11 pounds past that point and loving the new me!

    It's very important to embrace the new you and continue to push past feeling 'weird' so you don't quit! The new you is healthy AND beautiful! You will get used to her and eventually the pictures of your old self will be the ones that seem weird.
  • vickilowell
    vickilowell Posts: 37 Member
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    Perhaps we do hide behind our weight? Now you are out there for everyone to see the REAL you, the person you have been trying to find all this time! With our weight we imagine if we lose it that we will be beautiful, perfect, capable and our lives will change, we will be permanently happy, glowing everybody will admire us even our lifestyles and home life will be just fantastic! The aim to achieve all that is very consuming and now your focus is changing. The reality is actually we are still the same person with the same problems that we always thought would go away when achieving goal. Maybe that is scary, making you feel vulnerable nowhere to hide. You have done so well just give yourself time to accept where you are. :-)
  • vickilowell
    vickilowell Posts: 37 Member
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    So well said........
  • ylor89
    ylor89 Posts: 105 Member
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    I didn't read all the replies so I'm sure I'm repeating what others have written...

    I think your confidence will catch up to you. :wink:

    When I first started, I was feeling really blah inside. If that makes sense... I was losing weight, but it's like I couldn't really see that. Does that make sense? I'd see that I was down 10 pounds, but when I looked in the mirror, I was still the chubby short girl with really big calves. And you know what, I still see her and I'm getting close to being 20 pounds lighter!

    My belly used to stick out and now it doesn't as much. In fact, I used to try and stick out my belly as far as I could to see how much fat was on me, and now I can't do that. And it's a little scary because that must mean that the weight is really coming off. And if the weight is really coming off, then I must be changing.

    It's a little scary at first, but then you realize that all your hard work is paying off. All those times you've said no to Oreos? Totally worth it! I like that I fit more comfortably in my clothes, and I can wear shorts without worrying so much about my big calves. But most importantly, I like that food is no longer what I go to for comfort. Maybe that was the ultimate goal. :wink:

    Good luck with everything! Your confidence is coming! :smile:
  • AbbeyDove
    AbbeyDove Posts: 317 Member
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    I wonder if lifting weights would help with this feeling? I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I look at my wrists (and I'm not small, I'm between a 14 and a 16 U.S. size) and they look as if they could snap just because I've lost a little weight (and not that much, either! Just 7 pounds!). I think I'm going to start a martial art called Aikido (it's a more peacefully-oriented martial art) for just that reason.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I can understand what you are saying. I am feeling some of those things now myself. I know I've lost 40 lbs and am smaller, but I still look in the mirror and see the old me. I'm 5'7" and approx. 173 lbs but sometimes I will rub my shoulder and it feels so small!! It's just as you said, like you aren't touching yourself but someone else. But it's still you! I was putting my son to bed last night and as I reached up to pull the chain on the light, I caught a glimpse of a woman in the dresser mirror who looked slim and athletic...then I realized that was ME!! LOL! Now I have a long way to go but I caught a glimpse of who I am becoming and I liked what I saw. I do still have some mental catching up to do though! Blessings on your journey...we will get there!

    YES! It's exactly like that!!
  • fooninie
    fooninie Posts: 291 Member
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    I can relate to a certain degree! I was just telling someone the other day that "No matter how much weight I lose, I still see the fat one." I think our minds take time to catch up to our body and spirit!

    Hang in there, you are doing it, you are living it...now you must think it! HUGS!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    'Hugs'

    I think your feelings are normal. For some reason we humans are wired to resist change. It's good that you're aware of the feelings because I think sometimes it is exactly these feelings that 'scare' us into quitting and going back to our old, comfortable ways. I know in the past it's kept me from continuing on and I've become stuck or gained some of the weight back. I realized what was going on this time and I'm now 11 pounds past that point and loving the new me!

    It's very important to embrace the new you and continue to push past feeling 'weird' so you don't quit! The new you is healthy AND beautiful! You will get used to her and eventually the pictures of your old self will be the ones that seem weird.

    Thanks ConnieMaxwell, this was almost precisely my point in posting. I waited until like the 15th time it happened where I glanced in the mirror during a routine chore and my sweater was hanging a little or it actually appears I have no belly or love handles with this particular sweater, or whatnot. I figured just because I havent' experienced it with my past weight loss doesn't mean it's not a thing, and some people here might know it. I figured if I voice it and get it out of my head it can control me less or have less chance to fester in my mind and turn into sabatoge. Also that if anyone here knew this phenomena that would help conquer it completely. It's looking like that. I'm getting "wait it out" as a strategy from all your replies. It's never happened to me before and maybe that's why I always reached goal weight and stayed there for years to me THAT was the real me and no imposters! This time I may have stayed overweight too long and accepted that version of myself. Not gonna do that again.
  • Squamation
    Squamation Posts: 522 Member
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    These are more questions for you to think about and ask yourself- they're highly personal and so I don't expect you to answer them here but you might find them useful.

    Did something bad happen to you when you were at a smaller weight? Or to someone who was close to you? Were you in any kind of negative relationship?

    Someone who is close to me realized recently that they were scared to be smaller because when they were smaller bad things happened to them. Then they gained weight and the relationship ended and they were "safe". They kept the weight on unconsciously to stay "safe" from being hurt again.

    I hope you figure it out, and that you can find acceptance with your new body. Don't be afraid to talk to someone (counselor, or friend) if it gets too much.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Your mind is crazy.

    But in all honesty, I've been there. I'm still there at times. I used to hold my bloated, tubby tummy as a security blanket. Now I find my hands rest on my stomach at night because I'm still 'freaked out' about how different it is. Like I have to touch it just to make sure it's real?

    I still don't feel like me. I'm waiting to reach the magical 'right weight' or dye my hair the right color or tan just the right amount or SOMETHING to match my insides and outsides and I wonder if it's just going to take time to get used to...like, we spent so much of our lives seeing ourselves one way, maybe this is no different.

    Way to make me think this early in the morning. T_T

    /passes the coffee
    :drinker: me too, coffee while reading this. I call it my "Diet OG decaf" and it's in the food journals it's just coffee or decaf with nothing but Original Coffee Mate not the healthiest but I figured no sweetener leaves me cals for other stuff, and saves my artificial sweetener for diet coke treats.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Perhaps we do hide behind our weight? Now you are out there for everyone to see the REAL you, the person you have been trying to find all this time! With our weight we imagine if we lose it that we will be beautiful, perfect, capable and our lives will change, we will be permanently happy, glowing everybody will admire us even our lifestyles and home life will be just fantastic! The aim to achieve all that is very consuming and now your focus is changing. The reality is actually we are still the same person with the same problems that we always thought would go away when achieving goal. Maybe that is scary, making you feel vulnerable nowhere to hide. You have done so well just give yourself time to accept where you are. :-)

    I just wanna re quote this quote from Moss11
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    Just a suggestion:

    Take some new pictures of yourself (with your family or friends) and put them on your desk at work (or somewhere where you will see them doften). You'll see them every day, and after a while you will be so used to them that you will no longer feel strange when you see yourself in them - reset your idea of what you do/should look like.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    strangely I know what you mean..though I have a wierd quirk to throw in...With the stress of the past few months I've put 10lbs back on from last summer...and I feel betrayed by the leaner self. Like she's too good for me...and tricked me into thinking she was around for good.

    I don't with the scary future and decisions facing me my mind is doing all kinds of weird *kitten* stuff to me....sorta like an episode of twilight zone.

    I always hated that song...now that is going through my mind too..ugh.
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
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    I think I this is pretty normal for women. I am probably the only girl who doesn't have this effect. I LOVE seeing myself get skinnier. The whole ribs I have never seen before is weird, but I kinda like it. My sister, on the other hand, suffers from what is called "body dysmorphic disorder" which is where you don't see yourself correctly in the mirror. Although she has lost over 50 pounds (she was my inspiration), she still sees that overweight girl in the mirror. Even though she is lookin foxy and has a great body, she still thinks she is fat (she is not). I know this isn't your exact issue, but you see yourself as looking frail or too skinny, when really you are probably stronger than ever. You just have to give yourself positive self talk "I am beautiful. I love my body. I am healthy. I am strong. This is what I want", etc... and say those things to yourself (out loud) every day looking in the mirror, and in time it will go away. If you are feeling insecure, you may want to talk to a friend or family member about it, someone supportive. And if that doesn't work, you may want to talk to a professional. I hope you start liking what you are doing. You are beautiful.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    A lot of people do not see themselves as they are - i've read about people with anorexia - they are often skeletal, but this one lady said she saw herself as fat when she had a very very extremely bony figure. she definitely was not fat.

    i have felt what you felt before when i was thinner and losing weight.. it does make you sometimes feel like your losing a part of you, the part thats been with you all this time..
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

    It might take a while, but this will pass. And also I do think that when a person loses weight it can bring up emotional issues that may need some healing. Let me know if you want to talk at all. Maybe there's a book that could help you?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    A lot of people do not see themselves as they are - i've read about people with anorexia - they are often skeletal, but this one lady said she saw herself as fat when she had a very very extremely bony figure. she definitely was not fat.

    i have felt what you felt before when i was thinner and losing weight.. it does make you sometimes feel like your losing a part of you, the part thats been with you all this time..

    I think often the issue with anorexia is not that they see an overweight person, but that they have a type of tunnel vision in which they zero in on one or a couple parts of the body and the small amount of normal fat that they see becomes bigger in their mind and they become obsessed with not having any fat. Even when the fat is gone, they still remember and see where it was and have trouble not seeing it anymore and feel fear of it coming back.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    I would recommend less mind-altering substances...but what fun would that be?

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