Depressed and Discouraged
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The first step is always the hardest, even when you know it's for your own good. It's not too late. Look for new work, new friends, a new environment where you feel at peace and be happy. You don't deserve to spend your days the way you are now. Good luck.0
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It is so easy to be depressed and discouraged. I think we have all struggle with ups and downs.Just being able to get on here and post about it is a great first step.
You don't have to start out doing anything big. Just start out small and you will get there. Take baby steps. You will have to change your diet some. Just by making small changes in your diet you will go far. As far as exercising goes, One of the best things you can do is Walk. If you don't have time, or if you are like I was when I first started and don't want everyone to see you walking outside, you can go on youtube and look up LESLIE SANSONE WALK AT HOME. Its free to watch on youtube and she has a one mile, 2 mile, and 3 mile walk I believe. Just do what you can, you dont have to start out doing a whole lot. Just do a little here and there and eventually you will work yourself up to being able to do more.
I wish you the best! Hang in there and turn that depression into motivation! Success doesn't happen over night it happens over time. Just do what you can and start making small changes to your lifestyle one by one. That's how I started.0 -
Thanks everybody! You all are so encouraging!0
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Oh honey. You're in a bad spot. I so get this. Remember, you have been happy at certain points in your life, right? It is possible to be happy again. Happiness is an inside job, though, and you might consider being kind to yourself--by feeding yourself healthy foods, by not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn't say about a friend. The weather in your head determines more about how you feel than anything else. Negative and dark thoughts will come up, but your mind is like the entire sky. The sky itself can't be destroyed by a cloud of emotion passing through, and negative thoughts are just clouds that move in and out.
On a very practical note, I wonder if an exercise bike might be a good solution for you. For me, one of the best helps for negative feelings is exercise, and biking is low impact.0 -
Been there. I feel your pain and that is why I'm posting here for the first time. Start with the small battles and not the big picture. Log everything then be honest and forgiving to yourself.
Example: Tonight I made biscuits and gravy for supper because that was what my husband and son wanted (and I, quite frankly, love it). First time, since I began MFP, that I had cooked it. I logged my recipe and ate just 3 biscuits instead of the 4 or 5. I said to my self that I may have ate something not very healthy but I didn't eat as much as I normally would have and stayed close to my goal. Boy, was it good, too.
Some might view tonight as a failure or success for me. I'm concentrating on the little successes and so should you.0 -
I appreciate everyone's comments. This morning I slipped a disc in my back. Needless to say, I'm laid up for a few days...but the pain has made me lose most of my appetite at least. This is another reminder of why I need to lose the weight and get healthy.0
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Keep your chin up. Try to eat within the calories here on MFP and you will lose weight, with or without exercise. I lost the first 15 with no exercise at all.
I found my depression does get better when I walk though. I use Leslie Sansome Walk Fit inside. She is fun and I know I won't hurt myself. Obviously with a back injury, you would ask your dr before doing anything at all, but walking is something we all can do.
(BTW I am so proud of my MFP peeps for being so loving and encouraging
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Keep your chin up. Try to eat within the calories here on MFP and you will lose weight, with or without exercise. I lost the first 15 with no exercise at all.
I found my depression does get better when I walk though. I use Leslie Sansome Walk Fit inside. She is fun and I know I won't hurt myself. Obviously with a back injury, you would ask your dr before doing anything at all, but walking is something we all can do.
(BTW I am so proud of my MFP peeps for being so loving and encouraging )
Oh I should add that this is my 2nd round, I lost 30 the first time around)0 -
I don't know what to do anymore. I am female, 5'7", and 300 pounds. I can't seem to workout without hurting myself and I love food too much to go to a bland, depriving diet.
I lost about 60 pounds before by doing that but I'm much heavier than when I started that and each time I try to workout now, I hurt my back, my bum knee, or my bad foot. I don't have the money to go to the doctor about it, and I don't want to be put on meds.
I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and I worry I'm on the edge of developing diabetes. I'm only in my 20s. I've been overweight my entire life. My job is sedentary. I don't sleep well. I have gotten to the point that I don't care.
I spend the money I do have for groceries on junk food, I can go without showering for a few days because it's too difficult and tiring to do it, and I don't even try to clean anymore.
I know it's disgusting. I disgust myself. It's so hard to do these things. I have no motivation at all for being healthy and having a life. I try for awhile by working out and eating healthy but then my budget is busted and my back/knee/foot starts really hurting.
I have constant aches and pains and I deal with those and soreness, but the other pain is too much. I have a stressful job that I do not enjoy and the people I'm around are always negative. I would try to go to therapy to get my mind focused on good things but I can't afford it, or take off work for it. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm afraid I'll have a stroke or heart attack soon if I don't do something. The fear of that is for what my family would have to go through though, not fear for myself. That's what makes it harder to try and do anything...I just don't care about myself. Help please.
You are NOT disgusting. I think you need to get healthy in your brain before you worry about your body. See your doctor and tell her what's been going on, get a referral to a therapist. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Always remember that you are valuable no matter what size you are, what you eat, what you do. You are important. You deserve to be happy.0 -
I'm pretty close to your size and I'm eating 1400-1600 calories a day as well as exercising with a personal trainer. For me, I needed the jumpstart of a personal trainer. I've had one before and while I may flake on my own exercise schedule, with a personal trainer I don't.
My diet is not bland. There's hardly a day that goes by where I feel deprived in anyway. Friend me to see my food dairy. I eat carbs, I eat sausage, I eat cheese, I eat candy (OK, not that much!) and I even eat out occasionally. I just started randomly choosing 1400-1600 because that's just the number of calories I ended up eating. You can go up to 1600-2000 if you want. It's more about making better food choices -- and a little about portion control.
You will get to a point where you are just sick of it and you will emerge like some kind of iron butterfly and be what you want to be. That's what happened to me last month and I'm 16 pounds closer now.0 -
Hi Cindi,
I understand completely but you know, you are in a better position than I am to do this and I know you can! You care about yourself and your family or you wouldn't be on here. I'm 392 pounds and 41 years old. I have almost 100lb more weight to lose and I'm almost twice your age but I'm not prepared to give up! You need to think about you, not just your family. What are your dreams? What would make you happy? How can you change your situation? I'm very heavy which causes severe back pain and knee pain. I'm struggling to walk but my motto is " YOU ONLY FAIL WHEN YOU QUIT! I can't walk well but I can swim, I can use the exercise bike at a push (no pun intended) and as long as I do what I can then I'm winning the battle. Don't focus on what you can't do, focus on what you can! I keep getting injuries so understand your pain and frustration. Healthy food is expensive whereas junk food isn't but if you can find ways around it. Buy from markets, buy in bigger packs which cost less in the long run and freeze food. It's good for when you are either too tired or tempted to grab a takeaway. Buy yourself something else as a treat in stead of junk food. I buy too many magazines but it's better than chocolate and keeps your brain busy rather than being distracted by the chocolate you fancy. It doesn't always work but it helps. Get on here when you are struggling to cope, we are all here to support you and most importantly you need to learn to love yourself and believe in yourself, once you believe in yourself you'll reach your goal. :-)0 -
I deal w/depression and understand. It paralyzes you and makes progress impossible. The good news is you can move through it. Feel your body, reread your words, and then hit the honesty button inside that tells you change is possible, you can take weight off and keep it off, but it is going to suck, it is going to be so difficult you will hate it at times, it will rule your every thought to the point of obsession, but you can do it. You can start by setting up small, doable goals. You can do it. Read the amazing stories on this site from normal people who managed to figure out how to achieve huge success. I lost weight a few times, gained it back, realized my 'issues' were pretty serious and need to be explored harshly, and made myself recommit again, as now I am 42 and the path ahead needs to be way more fun. I made the decision to try again while in the midst of despising myself. I feel more like me again after only 2 hard weeks. If you give this site 2 weeks of absolutely honest tracking and attempted goal reaching and you don't feel an elevated mood despite this success, hopefully you will consider seeking help, probably a prescription for antidepressants, to make your struggles more manageable. (The financial cost for a consultation and prescription wouldn't be huge.) Having some of your mental weight lifted with medical intervention is nothing shameful. It might be necessary for this time in your life. You deserve, and can have, a happy fulfilled life. Good luck. (Also, I love Eating Well's recipes, I use them a lot, and they are delicious. Nothing boring need pass through your lips!)0
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Hmmm, I LOVE my "diet" which isn't a diet at all but just the way I eat:
greek yogurt with blueberries
big salads
green juices
lean meats
fresh fruits
Hey sister, wean yourself off whatever it is that puts on the pounds and learn to love real food, not bland at all, and maybe your spirits will be lifted. Also a nice walk in the pool, a little bike ride around the park, some sweet yoga.....a slow gentle change every day, just for that day and soon you will find your true self: healthier, lighter, happier.
It can happen.
Good luck.0 -
Hi. I feel your pain. As a child, my family was very, very poor. Meals were not much and pretty same-same. When I grew up I found a great deal of emotional enjoyment from eating. I guess I should state at this point that I am a psychologist and have worked as a therapist for a number of years. I am currently finishing my education (Ph.D) in Epidemiology, focusing on chronic diseases. Particularly cancers and metabolic disorders. I feel you will find it you are careful reading labels, eat organic as much as possible, the weight will come off. I have fought with depression my entire life..until I began to understand what it really is. Perception. Nothing more. Once I got to this point, I no longer feel depressed. I don't always feel happy, but there is a difference. My only advice is to do it for you. To avoid processed foods, particularly wheat, HFCS, and Aspartame.
The turning point for me was when I discovered, from a fellow student, the art of mindfulness and meditation. It has become a ritual, one that allows me to sleep at night without the constant worry, to enjoy life without feeling bad about what happened in the past, and look forward to every new day.
Good luck on this journey.
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Hi,
You are in luck, you've found a great website that really can help you get where you want to be. That's the first step.
I've been in your shoes feeling like I am not motivated to change anything, too depressed to get up and do the simplest of things with no productivity at all.
Here's how I started. I started logging everything I ate, just to see how many calories I'm actually eating every day. I didnt change anything - I ate what I wanted and didnt worry about exercising. Just logged my food. Then I saw how many calories I was supposed to be eating everyday and something just clicked. I finally understood why I kept gaining weight. I started to be aware of the calories that were going in, and it made me want to try and reach the recommended goal. Since then I've been just reading every post on the forums trying to get ideas and inspiration. And it really does motivate me to keep going.
Just start small and you'll eventually see a difference and you'll want to do more and more as you keep seeing progress.
Best of luck, add me as a friend if you want! (any of you)0 -
Hey there!
A lot of what you described are common symptoms of depression. Does it run in the family?
You may want to consider natural choices like st. johns wart, vitamin d if this is the case. Please do some research though on this vitamins as I am not a doctor, but it could be an alternative to mood medications.
In terms of exercising, maybe you can try low-impact like Leslie Sansone. Her walking dvds are very easy to follow and they are not hard on the body for beginners. I started with her dvds and lost 30lbs. You can youtube some of the videos, and they are often in Walmarts for really cheap. It may be useful to also pick up some resistance bands - also an easy/low impact method to train without spending a lot and getting good results.
In terms of diet - make slow changes. Start with just focusing on staying at your calorie goal...then switch pop for diet/water...then take a carb/starch out of supper and replace with a veggie.
Though, in my opinion, it takes mental health in order to achieve physical health.
Good luck! 0 -
I'd like to chime in with all of these lovely people who are encouraging you to say that you can do this! Even if you have to take the tiniest baby steps EVER, you can change your life. We're a little similar in build right now (I stand at around 5'6" and I weigh roughly 284 lbs), so if you want to buddy up with me then we can totally encourage and support each other through our respective goals. YOU ARE NOT DISGUSTING! You're just a person who is hurting inside and who doesn't know what to do. That's okay. We all get lost sometimes. ♥ One of the best things I've learned about health and weight loss is that there are a TON of ways you can achieve both! You don't have to force yourself to eat things you don't like and you don't have to limit yourself as much as you may be thinking that you do. Something you'll quickly discover as you experiment with your food and your calorie goals is that you can fit a huge variety of things into your daily budget. Once you really get started, you can find out what works for you, and what works for you is going to be something that you're comfortable with and that you can do everyday. You're stronger than you think you are and I know that you can get to where you want to be and do it in style.0
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Cindi, don't give up. Everyone has given you great encouragement, and please don't think that eating healthy is bland... Actually it's delicious - for instance tonight I had spicy lemon baked chicken, boiled potato and grilled veggies, it was delish...it's the time that you have to invest to prepare your meals but its worth it. I see this as an investment on my health, it's a lifestyle, it's not a diet.
Start with small goals, then increase that as your motivation increases. You are not alone, I'm glad you posted, that says you are doing the effort to start working on this. Good luck!0 -
Everyone else is giving really good suggestions. Making small changes is the way to go. Even if you have to keep starting over because it's hard to stick to it, don't beat yourself up! We all do it. I am at weight I was about 10 years ago. And now I'm struggling again because of life changes like stress and other things. If you can find a buddy in your area to work out with that will help tremendously. I've learned, I'm more motivated when I have someone to share my journey with but you still have to remember that at times, you are on this journey alone because your experiences will be like no other.
I say this to encourage you to not to give up. Posting on here, making friends, sharing how you feel is ok. We are all here for the very same reason to be a healthier person! Start by setting small goals that will amount to larger goals. Like others said before, try cutting back/ eliminating pop, chips, candy or substituting something for a week and see how you feel. If you make it a week! Mark it as a success and add another small change like parking your car farther from the door where you work, walking to the furthest bathroom from your desk, on your lunch break walk 5 minutes before eating or sub one of your candy items for fruit. Like apples and peanut butter.
I hope all this helps you start somewhere. Add me as a friend if you like!0 -
Just hang in there. The advice to start with small positive steps is excellent. If you possibly can, try exercising in water. Just get into a swimming pool if one is available in your area, and try walking in waist deep water, maybe only 5 or 10 minutes at first, and at a slow pace. Then gradually increase your time and speed. Try to do this at least three days a week. Exercising in water will ease some of the pain you experience now when you try to exercise-- it is much easier than walking on dry land, but the resistance of the water helps burn calories. 20 minutes of movement in the water is considered equivalent to walking one land mile. Also, try to find a weight loss support group -- I belong to an International Group known as TOPS. The dues are very inexpensive ($28.00 per year to join) and they do not sell expensive food or diet supplements. Check them out at WWW.Tops.Org. They will direct you to a group near your home. They meet weekly, weigh-in, and have programs on weight loss. Their purpose is to provide support and encouragement as you struggle with your weight loss problems. The group is always friendly and understanding because each of them are on a weight loss journey, too.0
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