Why is everyone on this site so mean?
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One friend is getting PM'ed about being fat for his tater tots while my other friend is being told he is too unhealthy in his own thread
I thought we were here to support each other
This sounds harsh, but if you get criticized, it's kind of your fault. It is the internet.
If you leave your diary open for all of MFP to see, then be prepared for criticism. Same for your blog. If you post your woes on the forum, get ready to hear some things that might hurt. If you can't take it, then close your diary, blog and don't post personal troubles on the forum.
Same for friends. If you don't want your friends to critique your diary or blog, then don't leave it open for them. More importantly, cultivate a group of friends that work for you, what you need from the site. And delete friends that don't work for you (and also don't take it personally if you get deleted).
What's with this blame the victim mentality
Not blaming the victim at all! I am just being realistic.
The friend must have his diary open at some level to get criticized for eating tater tots. Ok, if you don't like being critiqued on what you eat, then limit who can see your diary. And the other example about getting criticized in his own thread....I assume that stemmed from something he wrote? Anyway, my point is that if you open yourself up on the internet, you have to have a thick skin. I'm not saying this is right, but it's reality.
One of the great things about MFP is that you can use the support features at the level you are comfortable. You don't need to use them at all, it still works
But you need to know yourself and know what you can handle and set your boundaries as to what you share accordingly.0 -
Do we need to call the waaaaambulance? Would you like some cries with your waaaaahmburger? (Yeah I'm sure my jokes are out of date...I don't care...)Seriously??? Tell your buddies to suck it up and quit whining. If they hear something that's uncomfortable to hear, it's most likely something they NEED to hear. This site isn't supposed to be all "rah-rah, you're awesome" when someone eats like crap and doesn't exercise. Well, maybe some people are like that but they are part of the problem. If your friends want to make progress, tell them to listen to people that get on them for eating tater tots and being unhealthy. Those people are the solution; the enablers are the problem.
Exactly!!! We are all here because of ourselves and our enablers. My best friend doesn't sugar coat *kitten* and while sometimes this can be upsetting, you know what, I usually end up thanking her down the line because it's what I needed to hear. If I go on a forum asking for advice on my food diary, and I have all sorts of bad things listed, then if I get called unhealthy it's because I am being unhealthy. You can't eat crap and expect to lose weight. People sometimes need wake up calls, it's not being mean, it's called truth and honesty, and maybe that comes across as being mean sometimes, but isn't that why everyone is here? To get support and to have accountability?!?! If they can't take responsibilities for their unhealthy actions then why are they here? They need to accept themselves for where they are, learn that most here aren't being mean, they are being honest. We aren't here to coddle anyone. If they want someone to coddle them, they should go find their mommies.
Also, generalizing with everyone is so mean, I bet you have some friends that aren't mean. I'm not a mean person. I will be honest and hold my MFP friends accountable, because that's what they want/need. We all need people who will kick us in the a** or smack us in the face as needed.0 -
There are critical people everywhere. Someone is always going to think they are doing it better than someone else. But the proof is in the pudding. As long as you are succeeding in your own goals, your weight is looking good and the tests your dr does come back within the correct range, I wouldnt stress.0
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Anyone with the name SirBonerFart is trolling LOL
Holy pectorals, Batman!0 -
Fixed it for ya :flowerforyou:0 -
It's really just a tool that helps you lose (or gain) weight.
Don't sweat it. On here, like elsewhere in life, there are good people and arseholes. Gotta take the rough with the smooth.0 -
Mean could be seen as truthfulness...my friends do say/question my diary choices at times. I am here for several reasons, accountability, physical strength improvement & weight loss. I expect them to mention - really did you need to have that "whatever the bad choice was" - maybe you should of had this instead or eating alot of "whatever" is there a healthier version you could try. It makes me check out other healthy/creative options for myself. There support is helpful and I am sure your friends were feeling the same with you, healthier helping.0
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Because sugar is poison.0
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I've never been called mean before now
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She'll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends
She likes to stay late at the party, 'cause the fun never ends
And all her clothes are on the floor and all your records are scratched
She's like a one-way ticket 'cause you can't come back!
Saying yeah... you want her, but she's so mean
You’ll never let her go. Why don’t you let her go?
Yeah... you want her, but she's so mean
You’ll never let her go. Why don’t you let her go?0 -
Here is how the internet works:
IT WORKS BY PEOPLE MOVING MY GIFS.
*grumbles*
*damn internet*0 -
Here is how the internet works:
IT WORKS BY PEOPLE MOVING MY GIFS.
*grumbles*
*damn internet*
ironic post is ironic0 -
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HEY GUYS! YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
someone around here has tater tots... and i want some.
^ this!!!
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but...but...I only like Batman best because he has a car...Spiderman drives a scooter!0 -
Why is everyone on this site so mean?
They aren't.
:-)
It could just be the company you are keeping?0 -
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What's with this blame the victim mentality
What's with the lack of punctuation?
(hehehe...okay, that was mean)
There was an apostrophe.0 -
If you want sympathy, I show you sympathy........you'll find it in the dictionary between "****" and "syphalis".
My dictionary doesn't have "syphalis". :frown:0 -
HEY GUYS! YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
someone around here has tater tots... and i want some.
Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but I don't like tater tots.0 -
If you want sympathy, I show you sympathy........you'll find it in the dictionary between "****" and "syphalis".
My dictionary doesn't have "syphalis". :frown:
Mine either. Maybe our dictionary is out-dated?0 -
Seriously??? Tell your buddies to suck it up and quit whining. If they hear something that's uncomfortable to hear, it's most likely something they NEED to hear. This site isn't supposed to be all "rah-rah, you're awesome" when someone eats like crap and doesn't exercise. Well, maybe some people are like that but they are part of the problem. If your friends want to make progress, tell them to listen to people that get on them for eating tater tots and being unhealthy. Those people are the solution; the enablers are the problem.
Hmmm you seem hangry. Have a cookie. :flowerforyou:
I like cookies.
Who doesn't?
Actually I have a friend who doesn't, but she's dead inside.
Your friend doesn't like cookies??? Does she get mad if you tell her she's certifiably insane?
She just rolls her eyes at me. That's actually an exchange we have often.
Hold her down and shove Oreos down her throat. It's good for her. She'll thank you later. Or you two could just have a pillow fight about it and giggle a lot. That would be ok too.
I thought we were talking about cookes here, and someone had to go bring up Oreos. Let's keep it to respectable cookies.0 -
The bacon was enveloping tater tots; ergo it was relevant. :flowerforyou:
YEAH CUZ BACON IZ HILARIOUS !!!! LOLZ !!!
CANNOT GET ENOUGH BACON JOKES ON HERE !!! YAY !!! LOLZ !!!
U GUYZ EVER EET NUT BUTTER ?!?!?! LOLZ !!!
Am I sensing some insincerity here?
I normally wouldn't care, but - I feel compelled to defend the bacon. The bacon is the innocent party here.
@OP -- Yup, mean people are mean. And sometimes, especially online, people come across as mean without, uh, meaning to. And some folks are very, very helpful -- and there are cliques, bullies, jokers, BFFs, and boors just like (insert your favorite traumatic formative era here). At the end of the day, they're (we're) all just random strangers on the Internet. For folks who have or can grow a thick skin, it's not that big a deal. Ya makes yer post and ya takes yer chances, and sort out the responses you like from the ones that bug you, just like in real life. Only difference between online meanness and real-world meanness is that online meanness is often easier to ignore or walk away from, since you never actually see or hear the ones online.
/mostlyseriousinterlude :ohwell:
Now back to important matters.
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If you want sympathy, I show you sympathy........you'll find it in the dictionary between "****" and "syphalis".
My dictionary doesn't have "syphalis". :frown:
Mine either. Maybe our dictionary is out-dated?
Maybe Webster was embarrassed.0 -
...because when people can hide behind a screen name they get ballsy.
Nah. Even when my screen name was my real name, I was mean,0 -
hi.0
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yes.hi.0 -
yes.hi.
ok0
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