How much is "too" much?

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MissingMyOldSelf
MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
in Chit-Chat
My best friend is getting married to a guy who's pretty well off, monetary wise, and they're getting married out of state in a couple of weeks. She asked me to take pictures before and after the wedding because the photographer that the package pays for only covers ceremony photos, and nothing else. I agreed without a problem, but I didn't know that the cost of the weekend was going to be so extravagant.

We just booked our hotel rooms for it, which, the "wedding rate" is still $200 a night for a cheap room, after putting in cost for the resort fee, daily parking rate, and taxes. We're staying for 2 nights.

I just found out we'll be doing a Riverboat Cruise as part of the rehearsal dinner the night before, and that's $100 a person, plus, dinner after the wedding is averaging about $100 a person, too (separate tabs). And, there was mention of barhopping afterwards, so that's more money.

My husband and I are on very limited income, especially since he's got to have an unexpected hernia surgery next week. I told my friend that we wouldn't be participating in the cruise, not only because of the cost, but also because my husband shouldn't be on a boat so soon after surgery. (We found out that there's a hospital close by the hotel, though, just in case he should need medical attention for any reason.)

A mutual friend of ours says that this is her "princess moment", and we should just do what she wants... but I really didn't expect to be paying $1000 for a weekend. This is my friend's 2nd marriage, and her fiance's 3rd, and I don't want to sound like I'm cheap, but I just can't afford the extras for that weekend.

Would you guys say something to your friend? Or would you do what our friend says, and let her have her princess moment?
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  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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    What are you going to say?

    I'm not coming?


    $100/pp for dinner? Both nights? Seems like that's way too high. I can eat at a 5 star place in Downtown Chicago for $100 for two.
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
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    I'm going... but like you said... $100/pp a dinner for both nights. These are the places they've picked to eat.

    I don't know what to say.... I'm going because I've booked the rooms... but I just can't afford the extras like that. I'm happy just going to McDonalds or ordering in from somewhere where I can save a shload.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Well if she really wants you there and her husband is some richy rich than it would only be fair for her to pay. I would do that especially at $100 a plate...ouch!

    Sigh to be thin, young, and beautiful so I could wrangle me up one of the rich ones...sigh.
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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    I'm going... but like you said... $100/pp a dinner for both nights. These are the places they've picked to eat.

    I don't know what to say.... I'm going because I've booked the rooms... but I just can't afford the extras like that. I'm happy just going to McDonalds or ordering in from somewhere where I can save a shload.

    I would like to see the menu of a place that is $100/pp
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 776 Member
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    If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
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    I'm going... but like you said... $100/pp a dinner for both nights. These are the places they've picked to eat.

    I don't know what to say.... I'm going because I've booked the rooms... but I just can't afford the extras like that. I'm happy just going to McDonalds or ordering in from somewhere where I can save a shload.

    I would like to see the menu of a place that is $100/pp

    I swear, if it's a salad about the size of my fist and one 1inch thick cut of steak and a baby tomato for the main course, you'll hear me scream around the world.
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
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    If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.

    My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.
  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
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    If she expects you to do that, I certainly hope she doesn't want a gift... :noway:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!

    Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.
  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
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    If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.

    My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.

    If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    If she expects you to do that, I certainly hope she doesn't want a gift... :noway:

    totally this
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    I would explain to them that there's some aspects of it you just plain can't afford. If she wants you to be her photographer for those events, she should cover your tab. I don't know of a tactful way to propose that, though.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Oh and what a cheap azz friend wont pay for more for the photographers time, but is using your services for free...damn least she could do is pay for your dinner.

    If you hadn't already booked a room, and I assume you like this friend, I'd say dont bother going. The more I think about it the more she annoys me. Is she the annoying type and is her hair bleached blonde?
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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    I would explain to them that there's some aspects of it you just plain can't afford. If she wants you to be her photographer for those events, she should cover your tab. I don't know of a tactful way to propose that, though.

    Just say it.

    Photographers are not free
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
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    I would explain to them that there's some aspects of it you just plain can't afford. If she wants you to be her photographer for those events, she should cover your tab. I don't know of a tactful way to propose that, though.

    She made a casual mention once of paying for "a night" of mine.... but that was January 1st, and she was drinking.... :huh:
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Wait., wut!? She wants you to take pictures at the wedding because her rich fiance isn't wiling to shell out for a wedding photographer who will take the pics she wants, and yet she also expects you to pay for all this when you can't really afford it? When did rehearsal dinners become dutch pay?
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
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    Oh and what a cheap azz friend wont pay for more for the photographers time, but is using your services for free...damn least she could do is pay for your dinner.

    If you hadn't already booked a room, and I assume you like this friend, I'd say dont bother going. The more I think about it the more she annoys me. Is she the annoying type and is her hair bleached blonde?

    I'm not a GREAT photographer... but I'm good. I'm just trying to get more experience. lol


    ... and not "bleached"... but "highlighted"... yes! LOL!!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    And by the way "princess moment" WTF people are we 12? Grow up it's just a friggin wedding people do it everyday. I hate how people spend so much on this stupid one day event and dont even really think about what it means...marriage for life. What's the average wedding now like $10K? $10K do you know what I could do with that money...I'd put a down payment on a house, get the BF teeth fixed, save it for my future surgery, put it into a college fund for my child, go on a long vacation, but to spend it on some stupid overly priced princess dress NO THANK YOU!

    Sorry my little rant over weddings...waste o' money and time.

    My wedding cost $9.99...that's right, folks there is a decimal point in there...less than $10. Gotta love Reno weddings, LOL ;)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.

    My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.

    If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.

    What kind of porn it matters?
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    If you can't do it, you can't do it. I personally wouldn't expect my friends to fork out that much money, especially for a rehearsal dinner.

    My rehearsal dinner was a cookout at the apartment complex I lived at. We provided the burgers, dogs, chips, salads, dessert and bottled water. If they wanted extras, they were welcomed to bring it, especially the alcohol. Total cost for that: $100 for all the food for 25 people.

    If I ever get married, my rehearsal dinner will be a beer, porn, snuggie party. Bring your own snuggie.

    What kind of porn it matters?

    QFT

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