Depressed and Discouraged

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  • epfenick
    epfenick Posts: 112 Member
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    I have made a new year's resolution every year for the past eight years to "lose weight". No plan, no goal, no anything. This year, I saw a friend on New Year's Day who had lost 45 pounds through MFP and LIFESTYLE changes. Not a diet. She looked amazing. I had 8 months and 19 days from that day before I turned 40. I was 45 pounds overweight. There were approximately 40 weeks before my birthday and about 40 pounds to lose. I figured I would look pretty darn good for my birthday if I could lose a pound a week. And I did lose a pound a week .....for the first month. And then I stalled for two months. But that didn't change my determination. I still had 6 months until the big 4-0. So I redoubled my efforts and lost two pounds a week for a while. And then I went back to my pound a week. I am now down 23 pounds, with two months to go. I am not at my goal and I don't believe I'm going to make my goal, but you know what???? I feel better, and I look better and I know that I can do this now. I won't give up. My birthday will come and go and I'll still be losing weight, and that's OK, because I've changed my lifestyle. I haven't gone on a diet.

    I do believe that your aches and pains will get better as you lose weight. Mine did. I also know that having a specific goal has made all the difference in the world. I haven't given up. You said you're in your 20s. Maybe your goal is to lose xxx number of pounds before you turn 25, or before you hit 30. The more time you give yourself and the more realistic the goal, the easier it is to accomplish.

    As for exercise, have you tried swimming? I know we have a pool here that offers $1 swims between 5-7 every weekday. Even on a budget, that's affordable exercise.

    I'm rooting for you!!
  • sharan_v_garry
    sharan_v_garry Posts: 23 Member
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    I have not lost a lot of weight yet. However, staying on this program hAS ENCOURAGED ME TO KEEP GOING. GREEN TEA IS RELAXING AND ALSO HELPS WITH DIETING. . . SNAP PEAS ARE A GOOD SNACK AND IS FILLING WHEN YOU ARE OVER COME BY THE MUNCHIIES AND AVOIDING JUNK FOOD..

    TAKE BABY STEPS TOWARD YOUR GOAL EACH DAY.

    MOST OF ALL LOVE YOURSELF AND BE ENCOURAGED WITH THE LITTLE CHANGES YOU MAKE TOWARD YOUR GOAL .

    IF YOUR MOOD DOES NOT IMPROVE TALK WITH YOUR FAMILY PHYSICAN ABOUT OPTIONS THAT CAN HELP IMPROVE MOOD

    ...
  • brvtops
    brvtops Posts: 2
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    So sorry about the back -- that is too bad, but maybe a good time to start making small changes in your diet as suggested by some of the people here, keeping your food diary on MFP and making your plans for when you can be active again. Don't give up -- one of the guys in our TOPS group has lost over 60 lbs in just a few months. Like you, he has quite a bit of weight to lose, but he just keeps working on it, a few lbs each week.
  • ultimuttginge
    ultimuttginge Posts: 58
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    Baby steps! Take baby steps. If you try to tackle everything at once it just becomes too much and you end up short circuiting.

    Have one goal a week, something simple, like others have posted on here...cut out chocolate for a week or something like that.

    Aim a little lower to begin with hunny...Weightloss can be a tricky journey and you shouldn't expect to hit the ground running otherwise you're bound to hurt yourself either physically or mentally. Build yourself up first and you'll get there! :) xxxxxxx
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    OP ... IIFYM :wink:
  • Rarity2013
    Rarity2013 Posts: 196 Member
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    You have said that you have started to go several days without showering and have stopped cleaning. What flags this for me is that those are common symptoms of depression.

    I understand your concerns about the costs involved with seeing a doctor or therapist, but what you describe could be the start of something much more difficult, and more expensive, to deal with.

    Your profile doesn't say where you are from, but a lot of charities offer free helpline counselling which could be a good interim step for you just to talk to someone about how you feel without incurring huge costs. Some charities also offer face to face counselling in exchange for a small donation which is agreed upon after assessment and is based on what you can afford.

    Although it might seem frightening to Google something like "mental health charities", they do not exist purely for "crazy" people. They care about well being and being able to face the day.
  • RedRita32
    RedRita32 Posts: 321 Member
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    Try swimming!! It's low impact and you'll feel like your weightless..there are lots of people who use this as exercise...try eating smaller portions of the things you already eat,count your calories, drink more water, limit junk foods to a small portion, walk 10 minutes at a time until you get stronger, get some weights and workout your arms...don't give up!! You're not worthless!! We are all in this together! Add me as a friend if you like :flowerforyou: and we will support each other!
  • MamaCatO
    MamaCatO Posts: 100
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    Honey, when I started I weighed 320 lbs. I'm 40 years old and have all sorts of ailments and chronic pain. Start slow. At 300 lbs, you would be surprised at how easy it is to burn calories. I started with 10 minutes yoga stretches and short walks. hasfit.com has very simple, easy to follow, low impact exercise video plan. Starting with 5 minutes. I did that next. The first video is 5 minutes. You don't have to do it all at once. do 2 minutes, 1 minute, whatever you can and do more later. keep track of EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. Be honest about it. You don't have to go bland, just eat smaller portions. Try making things from scratch, rather than buying the boxes. I'm down 30 lbs in just under 3 months. Baby steps. Do what you can. But force yourself to get up and move, even if it's only for a few minutes at a time. Go outside and get some sunshine. It will do wonders for your mood. So will just getting up and moving. Really, you don't have to push yourself too hard. I don't and I'm steadily losing. Feel free to add me as a friend if you like. And remember BABY STEPS! They're better than no steps at all!
  • cindibutler80
    cindibutler80 Posts: 23 Member
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    I appreciate everyone's support in this. I am pleasantly overwhelmed with the response I got from my post. Update on my back: last night I got up to use the restroom around 2:30 and I couldn't even get myself back in bed. I took 4 advil and placed a heating pad down and maneuvered my way back into bed somehow, through the pain.

    I almost had to lay on the floor when I was getting the advil because it was so excrutiating. I've never been in this much pain and I have a high tolerance. But I almost woke my husband to take me to the hospital. I know my pain is a consequence of my weight gain. I plan to go to the walk in clinic today since I don't have a doctor.

    I'm hoping I'm ok and will be better soon. I still plan to watch what I eat more now and exercise later. I already eat pretty healthy "regular" food like eggs, yogurt with fruit, whole wheat if I eat grains, lots of veggies, and lean meats. The problem comes when I don't feel like cooking or I get a craving for bad foods. I always give in and grab something on the way home and binge eat. It's not a "treat." I just never have learned to control it or portion it. It's always a binge.

    That's the main thing I'm working on and hoping my back is ok and will heal soon. I normally don't take any kind of medication or pain reliever, so to need it really upsets me. I prefer organic foods but I cave when I get a craving.

    I don't drink soda or have artificial sweeteners. My main binge foods are ice cream, oreos, cookies, and any kind of eating out. I love Chinese food too much and there's a buffet on every corner just about!
    EDITED to say: *When I'm hungry, I get heartburn frequently and get nauseous constantly. That's one of the reasons I don't follow portion control. I'm still hungry 30 min after I eat. I hardly ever feel full unless I stuff my face at a buffet.*

    I do appreciate all the support you guys have given me. Your words have really encouraged me to keep going, push through the pain, and start a better life. Thank you.
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    Hi Cindi - just read your latest update!!! Girl - you rock!!!! :-)

    After reading your original post and your other update (the one about you hurting your back), I could see someone who is determined through the pain. A woman who is determined through being upset about where she is at now. For what it's worth, I think you can do this. You already have a good understanding of what's "healthy" food versus "unhealthy".

    In your most current update, you mentioned that you do like healthy "regular" food. There's you a fantastic starting point, especially while your back is healing up. Have you ever done menu planning? If you have time (10-15 min max), why don't you and your husband sit down and plan out the meals/snacks you are going to have for the next day or two. That way for the next couple of days you know you will be eating healthy. If you aren't sure about planning menus reply back on this thread, and I'll give you a break down of how I got started or ask around MFP...it's an easy habit to start and one you can build on.

    As far as eating out goes, I'm with you on big time food splurges...we don't eat out as often as we used too - so now when we go, I want to order one of everything on the menu. One book that helped me make better choices when eating out is EAT THIS AND NOT THAT. I bought that book years ago and kept it in the car. When we were going out to eat and there were tons of restaurants to choose from, I would try to find one in the book and either eat what they suggested or only eat half of the food they tell you to stay away from (that was my compromise). You may be able to find this book at your library, or they may even have a website out now.

    When I eat certain foods (like Chinese food or Japanese food or Mexican)...I would have the same reaction as you. I used to eat them until I was stuffed at the restaurant, and then I would be hungry 30 min to an hour later...now, my "fix" for that is to only eat half of my meal there and bring the other half home to eat later (when I know I'm going to be hungry again). I don't think this will help with the buffet, but maybe other restaurants.
  • cindibutler80
    cindibutler80 Posts: 23 Member
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    Those are great suggestions! I am definitely more motivated after everyone on here has been so supportive. I've done meal planning a couple times, but did it before shopping, only to find out how expensive making certain recipes was. I'll have to start with the grocery store ad and then make my meals plan. I can't wait. This week should be okay and I'll be going shopping again first of the week.
  • Janetsgirl
    Janetsgirl Posts: 5 Member
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    HI Cindibutler80 - thank you for your honesty - you've expressed exactly how I feel much of the time - great job for leading the way - sometimes Hi5 is not enough. So sorry you hurt your back. One of my favourite inspirations was Miggy from Biggest Loser - she wasn't terribly popular - anyways....she got appendicitis and had to have surgery. There was an unspoken sense of writing her off - or maybe it was my own doubt. The BL doctors said she could only walk until she healed up.....She walked very slowly around the grounds of the BL camp and not much attention was paid to her that week as others went up for their big challenges ... well blow me down ...When she got on the scales she lost an amazing 5-6 lb that week i think - everyone was so shocked...including me......I love her spirit...she said "as the Drs said I could only walk ,then I said to myself I shall walk to Peurto Rico - I always think of that". It gets me to try going around the carpark at the supermarket becuase no-one would notive really .... I wish I had big numbers to show as I have been lingering on a 4 lb loss for 3 weeks.......I just saw a post on counting every single mouthful....this has been my downfall........Will check in to see how you are doing soon Janetsgirlx
  • Janetsgirl
    Janetsgirl Posts: 5 Member
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    Hi @cindibutler80 - just stopping by to say thank you for being a brave voice for many - including me - I am encouraged by the replies your post has generated - happy to walk and talk whenever you need a friend :)
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I was going into a deep depression and my friend bought me b12, folic acid and d3. Honestly I thought "Oh yea, right" and rolled my eyes :laugh:

    Then I went to my dr and asked if it was ok to take these and he agreed. He also drew blood and told me my D was very low. Go figure!

    It has been 2 weeks on the supps, walking 1/4 mile 3 times a day and I am starting to see the light of day. My mood is so much better I had company over this weekend! :flowerforyou:

    Also, when I plan my meals I try to do it as simple as possible in the beginning. Chicken breasts grilled on my George Forman grill I bought for 20 bux. I can bulk buy the chicken, grill it up, and bag it. Freeze some and leave some in the fridge.

    I cut some up for salad, chunks for chicken salad with celery/onion/light mayo and you can add some apples or nuts for something different.
    BBQ sauce, lite cheddar, crumbled bacon and you have a nice smokey chic dinner
    There are lot of things you can do.

    Here's hoping you are doing better :drinker:

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