:( Need some major encourgment

Hey Jessidenn! I'm sorry that your situation has taken it's toll on you.. But I must point out that you are certainly better off. It's hard enough to try to better ourselves without the negativity. Although it really hurts right now.. try to focus on the following things:

1. You are most important. You can't take care of any babies if you can't take care of yourself. Use this sight to becoming the best 'you' possible.

2. When kids are involved, it's still important to validate their feelings.. ie, their sad and confused. Just try to speak positive to them about the situation. Tell them that "daddy needs some time for himself".. Or daddy is having a "time-out". Be careful telling them you don't know why he left.. etc, because u don't want them to think that he left them. I agree with mrsyac2, he's an *kitten*! However, you don't want any lasting effects on your kids.

3. Check in here daily! You will have all the support we can give.... Not to mention.. Men get confused sometimes.. (sorry guys').. if it's in God's will, he will be back. But he certainly didn't leave you because of the weight... that's a given... maybe the weightloss??. Be true to yourself and your kids.. They love you in ways he can't!

:brokenheart: :sad: So I have been doing realy good but I've hit a bump... My b/f decided he was moving out yesterday. No notice at all. I am now responsable for three kids on my own. I have this problem thou that I eat when I get depressed and I have been crying my eyes out for over 24hrs. I am dieing inside and don't feel as if I can do it any more. I thought I was changing but I havn't at all he even told me that looking at makes him sick b/c of how fat I've gotten. He says 33lbs not enough b/c he can't see any difference. So I am giving up ty for all ur help
:brokenheart: :sad:

don't give up this is for you, for your health, for your three beautiful children. You have the power and control to be who you want to be and... don't give him the control over your weight, or your happiness... this is YOUR LIFE. If someone doesn't love you it is their problem not yours. Take the time you need but run out that anger don't swallow it.... we are all here to help.

My prayers are with you.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I wanna stay at this for my kids and myself. right now I am just trying to make the tears stop. An try to exspin to my baby y his daddy couldn't put him to sleep. Every night for almost a year he has put our baby to bed and tucked him now he is not here. My baby wont stop crying dada. He is 10 1/2 months old. My 2yr and 5 yr old keep asking me if they did something wrong and if they told daddy they would be better would he come home... How do you tell them he is not comming back. How do u exsplan to baby daddy dosn't want to be a part of the family any more and that mommy will have to put him to bed. They cry which makes me wanna cry more. I have no family near by and my bestfriend moved to FL last year... LOST IN PAIN TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.:sad: :sad:

breakups are hard- but just because it didn't work for the two of you remember that it doesn't mean he doesn't want to be in the kids lives (unless he is a deadbeat no offense)-- You also need to stay strong for your kids- so put on a brave face in front of them if possible which would also make you feel better and keep your mind off of it-You can do this we all go through our low points in life but in the end they just make us that much stronger-- best of luck and 33lbs is too alot--

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I wanna stay at this for my kids and myself. right now I am just trying to make the tears stop. An try to exspin to my baby y his daddy couldn't put him to sleep. Every night for almost a year he has put our baby to bed and tucked him now he is not here. My baby wont stop crying dada. He is 10 1/2 months old. My 2yr and 5 yr old keep asking me if they did something wrong and if they told daddy they would be better would he come home... How do you tell them he is not comming back. How do u exsplan to baby daddy dosn't want to be a part of the family any more and that mommy will have to put him to bed. They cry which makes me wanna cry more. I have no family near by and my bestfriend moved to FL last year... LOST IN PAIN TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.:sad: :sad:

I remember when I got divorced, I channeled all the hurt and pain into exercise (mainly just walking). Doing this gave me time to think and contemplate. It must be so difficult to have someone be such a huge part of your childrens lives then be gone. The big thing for them is to let them know that it has nothing to do with them. Just that their daddy is going through a tough time right now. Because in reality his tissy fit is all about him and not about you at all. It will take them a little bit of time to get used to whats going on. The key is to create stability (try not to let you boyfriend yo-yo in and out of their life), create new routines (like bedtime), etc.

I know that you can do this and the key that you mentioned is that you are doing it for you. No one else should have a say in your personal goals. Heck I've been off the wagon for 2 months, but I am still here, just starting back on using the resources and it's sooo much easier just to stay with it then to constantly start and stop,

Aw hun...if a man can't love you after having kids and having your body change (I am assuming they are his kids??) than he is NOT a man!
You are better than that and can find someone to love you for your inside first, and your outside will change as you do this for yourself and your kids!
Good luck!!

omg...first....you are beautiful....your children are beautiful!!!

You've lost 33 pounds that's amazing!!! even if you feel like its not right now..IT IS!!!

that man who fathered your babies...and left...in my opinion...is not being a father right now....he's being a shallow, louse, who doesn't deserve the tears that you cry or the love that you have for him....and if he can up and leave like that...then he's not even worth anymore of my energy talkin smack about him....ugh

BUT you my dear, you need to surround yourself w/ friends and family right now....you need support...and you'll get it here...but at home too....and I know its hard honey, but crying in front of the kids is not good....so please try to be strong for them...if they see you strong and confident...they'll be strong and confident about it too....nothing is your fault...and most very definitely nothing is their fault...

oh man hugs and prayers to you all, I can only imagine how you feel, its breaking' my heart that you are so sad about this and you're children are so distraught...makes me hate that guy more...sorry...

I say call family and friends, surround them and lean on them....and us anytime...it will get better I promise...it takes time, and YOU can do this...YOU are gorgeous and deserve to be treated as such....and you're children deserve more too honey....just focus on them...and making yourself healthy....as best you can.... big hugs girl!!!

ali :flowerforyou:

Are you kidding me?! you look fabulous and look at those gorgeous children! Any man who could walk out on that is crazy. You are losing weight, and will continue to. Don't do it for any guy, do it for yourself and for those 3 kids who need their mom healthy now, more than ever! I know it feels like everything is crumbling but things will get better. Maybe your guy will come to his senses, maybe not, but losing weight is about YOU not about him. And love has nothing to do with your measurements. We are all here for you and wish you the best, things will get better!:flowerforyou:

This is about the bills- whose name are they in? (please say his)
And the mortgage? whose name is that under?
The thing is if it's under his name it's HIS debt. not yours.
And lastly, if this goon chooses not to be a part of your family, fine, but he made 3 babies with you, and that is expensive, and he will have to pay you support for those children until they are finished with their schooling. You need a lawyer and you need one quick.

I know you said you don't have any friends or family nearby, is there any way you could leave to visit family, and stay with the kids for a bit? getting away and being with loved ones might make you all feel better. good luck!

omg...I would ask them what you're options are....I would think they would be able to work w/ you...Or I would hope they would....how about do you have free legal assistance programs that could assist you in your area.....??? I feel sooo bad honey!!!

big hugs....do you have family and friends who could help out for a bit?
ali