OMG, you wouldn't believe what she has been saying to me!

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  • foreverroses123
    foreverroses123 Posts: 69 Member
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    Thank you so much for this post! :)
  • ZumbaFreak2329
    ZumbaFreak2329 Posts: 60
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    I gotta admit this got me pissed off thinking it was someone else saying it to you loll but man! I can so relate to this, **** if someone told me everything I tell myself that person would probably be K/O! Lol but you're right! I wouldn't take from anyone else yet I take so much from myself! Good reflexion!!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    :heart:
  • tzig00
    tzig00 Posts: 875 Member
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    :heart: Thank you for sharing. So true.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    So true!

    Like everyone else, I was so angry for you, until I realized you were talking about your mental tape. Wow, I do that, too. I know a lot of people do.
  • deb_137
    deb_137 Posts: 38 Member
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    I just wrote about this in my blog. We would do anything needed for a loved one or pet....shop and cook a special diet, make sure they stay active, provide positive motivation or affection, etc...but we will not do the same for ourselves. Sad, sad, sad...

    That being said, acknowledging the issue is the first step to changing it. Reading the replies on here, you have a great support system of MFP buddies. Listen to them and believe what they say!
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
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    When i first started reading this, i was like... Damn! your co-worker is a total *kitten* waffle! then i was like....

    emma-watson-confused.gif
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I read so many threads of people who are hurt and upset by someone's glance as they are jogging by, or someone's snicker, or someone yelling something stupid out the window.

    And I admit... those things all hurt like hell - whether they "should" or not.

    But the fact is... how can I be mad at someone else for saying something to me, when I am a million times worse?
    How I can I justify being mad at my ex for insulting me, when he is simply validating what I say to myself.

    It doesn't make sense.

    And until I change how I fundamentally feel about myself, anyone who ever wants to be with me -- romantic, friend, family, or otherwise -- they will end up being short-changed and saddled with the task of feeling like they need to convince me otherwise.

    I challenge myself, and every single person who relates, to slow down on the self hate.

    Make sure you are logging exercise on your mind too... because you may find yourself at the point where you've met your physical goals, but your mind is so buggered up that you fail to see, accept, or celebrate it.
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    Boy can I relate... :ohwell:
  • bethFromDayton
    bethFromDayton Posts: 112 Member
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    But what do I do when the enemy is me?

    You talk back to yourself the way you'd talk to your BFF if she talked that way about herself--loving, supportive, caring, respectfully.

    Self: <mean> You are so fat--your fat rolls over the top of your jeans.
    Self: <supportive> Hey! <smile> Those jeans didn't even fit a month ago--look how far you've come!

    Self: <mean> Look at that a**--<nasty thing here>
    Self: <supportive>: Hey don't talk to yourself like that. (this has to be said the way you'd say it to your BFF!) You look great. You're way too hard on yourself. (Again, NOT MEAN) No shortage of men noticing it, are there?

    You can also just teach yourself to STOP when you are talking meanly to yourself.

    Self: <mean> Anything mean
    Self: <learning to be kinder to herself> No, that's not the way I talk to myself. I am kind to myself. I am in incredible woman and I have lots of good qualities (and list some).

    (This is also a useful technique when you're obsessing over a lost love)
    Self: "No. I am not going to think about lost love. I am going to daydream about winning the lottery." (Substitute a happy involved daydream for obsessive thought that isn't good for you)

    The other thing you can do is listen to your BFF in your head. What would *she* say if she heard you say something that negative about yourself? Channel her--she is kinder to you than you are to yourself--and if you listen to her (even if you're just imagining what she'd say), you'll be hearing a kinder gentler voice.

    You can learn to stop distorted, negative thinking. I'm not saying it's easy, but it can be done. If it's really interfering with your life (generic "your"), it's worth finding a cognitive behavior therapist to work through some of it.

    Note: I am not a psychologist. I don't play one on TV.
  • zkss27
    zkss27 Posts: 62
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    love this thread!
  • danofthedead1979
    danofthedead1979 Posts: 362 Member
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    this is awesome!
    you need to give yourself several of these
    tumblr_mk0j4kjoVS1rmcgo1o1_400.gif

    every time i see this gif, i try and copy it, about 10 times, but i can never do it as awesome as this lady :grumble:
  • autopilot_on
    autopilot_on Posts: 388
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    The comments may not be the same for me, but I know exactly how you feel. Overcoming my bad thought patterns has been a struggle for me for a long time. I hope that you will overcome your criticisms. I have to believe that it's possible or I will just spiral back down to the dark and self-loathing habits of my past.

    Thank you for sharing. For what it's worth (which technically, it shouldn't be worth anything because it's not coming from you) I think you look absolutely fantastic! Your success with your health is easily tied to your success as a person. It takes time and it takes not giving up.

    Thank you again!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    You should talk the HR director about yourself. That kind of talk is not appropriate.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Yeah. I replied on the blog post. Knock it off!
  • jillybeansalad
    jillybeansalad Posts: 239 Member
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    This is a great post, and I'm almost positive the majority of us can relate to it. You /do/ kick butt.
  • missmidge84
    missmidge84 Posts: 100 Member
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    This really moved me. My life is topsy turvy right now, and it reminded me I need to be kinder to myself. Thank you.
  • EvEboEvie
    EvEboEvie Posts: 115 Member
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    Let me tell you how brilliant this was. I was reading through and poised, fingers above the keys, to fire back a WHO THE HELL HOW DARE SHE WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS OH NO SHE DIDN"T... and then I read the end.

    WOW. How true this is. Thank you for sharing.
  • staceypunk
    staceypunk Posts: 924 Member
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    I didn't actually "get it" until you spelled it out it at the end. I kept reading the first sentence about the belly roll over pants and looking at your profile pic and thinking ....no way , this bi-otch is a jealous piece of ****. People would kill for your body. There are ****heads like that in real life. But what you said is really deep and I think it may have been the most reflection I have ever done after reading a MFP post :flowerforyou:
  • WhitneySheree88
    WhitneySheree88 Posts: 222 Member
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    Thank you for sharing this, I needed to see it :heart:
    You ARE awesome!

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