OMG, you wouldn't believe what she has been saying to me!

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  • JGT2004
    JGT2004 Posts: 231 Member
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    Awesome post.
  • Annette_rose
    Annette_rose Posts: 427 Member
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    Wow...this is awesome!!! At first I was reading it thinking what a horrid person this person is you work with. Then when I realized who you were talking about, I was floored because I beat myself up all the time with many of the same things you mention here. I always see women who I think are so gorgeous and wish I looked like, etc. Shoot, I see a ton of women on here I would love to look like. Yet, I have people who tell me how beautiful I am, but that one voice within me is the problem. It is the one I listen to the most. What you have written here is so great for so many of us!! Thank you!! :flowerforyou:
  • spookieloo28
    spookieloo28 Posts: 3
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    Wow, this really spoke to me! I myself fall victim to harsh words against myself and I am working everyday to overcome that. At this point in my life, I am working as President for an organization on campus and want to be a healthy role model and by seeing this post, I see that talking to myself with kindness is something I definitely need to work on. Thank You for your honesty!
  • _bumshaker_
    _bumshaker_ Posts: 40
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    Raw Truth.... Thank You, Mirey
  • nottaquitter
    nottaquitter Posts: 130
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    There is this woman I work with, and see every day. She is always talking to me and saying what is on her mind, and it is unfiltered, unbridled hatred. Here are some of the things she has said to me... this past week ALONE...

    * * *
    Those pants you are wearing, they cut into your tummy and your fat rolls hang over. It's totally obvious.
    Your *kitten* has so many dimples in it, my golf balls are jealous
    You have so many scars on your legs from mosquito bites.. they're hideous
    You are useless and cannot manage your house
    You suck as a mom
    You suck as a partner
    You suck at work
    You look like crap. Old crap.

    Can you do anything right?

    You've gained weight, and it's totally obvious

    You cannot do your hair, at all... hell you apparently can't even use a straightener
    You do your makeup in the car... and it shows

    Your ex is right, you cant do anything on your own
    You don't deserve to look the way you do. You eat crappy and you don't work out enough. You should workout more.
    You think you're so hot, and you aren't.
    You are NOT awesome
    You are NOT incredible

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTnuOYRglPrn5MbmJWEngR9hkEo8Gt8qgaYU8KOhkvpj6UXroCf

    Have you figured it out yet?
    That woman is me.
    And she is a real ***** to the one person she should be kindest to.
    Herself.

    I should dive into this deeper.
    No, I would not be able to hang around someone else if they spoke to me that way.
    And yet I do it all the time.
    I try to dress it up as something other than what it is.
    Try to pretend it's not poisonous.

    But that's all bull****.

    I need to be my own best cheerleader. Not my own biggest critic.
    I need to be there for myself, because I'm the only thing in my life I can count on always being there. Sounds stupid, but it's true.
    HOW do I expect to achieve anything when I believe this ****?
    And what the hell am I mirroring to my kids?
    For their sake, and for my own... I need to cut that **** out.
    Your not alone.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    Thank you for posting this. I need that kind of attitude adjustment, too.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
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    fmugxc.jpg
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    wow we must work with the same person!!!

    Hear this everyday, some days more than others.
  • framingsammie
    framingsammie Posts: 144 Member
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    Thank you for posting this. I was the same and sometimes I still am but it's something I'm working on. :)
  • thescrumisfun
    thescrumisfun Posts: 355
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    This is awesome, thank you :drinker: A very fresh perspective on negative self-talk!
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    There is this woman I work with, and see every day. She is always talking to me and saying what is on her mind, and it is unfiltered, unbridled hatred. Here are some of the things she has said to me... this past week ALONE...

    * * *
    Those pants you are wearing, they cut into your tummy and your fat rolls hang over. It's totally obvious.
    Your *kitten* has so many dimples in it, my golf balls are jealous
    You have so many scars on your legs from mosquito bites.. they're hideous
    You are useless and cannot manage your house
    You suck as a mom
    You suck as a partner
    You suck at work
    You look like crap. Old crap.

    Can you do anything right?

    You've gained weight, and it's totally obvious

    You cannot do your hair, at all... hell you apparently can't even use a straightener
    You do your makeup in the car... and it shows

    Your ex is right, you cant do anything on your own
    You don't deserve to look the way you do. You eat crappy and you don't work out enough. You should workout more.
    You think you're so hot, and you aren't.
    You are NOT awesome
    You are NOT incredible

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTnuOYRglPrn5MbmJWEngR9hkEo8Gt8qgaYU8KOhkvpj6UXroCf

    Have you figured it out yet?
    That woman is me.
    And she is a real ***** to the one person she should be kindest to.
    Herself.

    I should dive into this deeper.
    No, I would not be able to hang around someone else if they spoke to me that way.
    And yet I do it all the time.
    I try to dress it up as something other than what it is.
    Try to pretend it's not poisonous.

    But that's all bull****.

    I need to be my own best cheerleader. Not my own biggest critic.
    I need to be there for myself, because I'm the only thing in my life I can count on always being there. Sounds stupid, but it's true.
    HOW do I expect to achieve anything when I believe this ****?
    And what the hell am I mirroring to my kids?
    For their sake, and for my own... I need to cut that **** out.

    This made me very angry at first, then sad. I like the message, but I have questions:

    1. What are you going to do to stop saying these things to yourself?
    2. Are these thoughts causing you to treat others negatively/nastily?

    I'm curious to know how you think others perceive you. Could be an interesting question to ask the people around you in real life.

    When I was going through some emotional personal stuff, I would come across as very angry towards others. Nobody wanted to approach me, I just oozed anger. Once I got through it, others saw me as a much happier, more relaxed person. I had no conscious idea that I was projecting my issues out into the world.
  • stormtruck2
    stormtruck2 Posts: 118 Member
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    Your body is what you eat,
    Your mind is what you think,
    You are them,
    You have changed your body,
    Change your mind.
  • tbelivea
    tbelivea Posts: 94 Member
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    Whoa... I needed that reminder. Thank you for posting this :)
  • orchid7777
    orchid7777 Posts: 8 Member
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    Awesome
    thank you thank you thank you!! for not only sharing this but HOW you shared it...
    I was like, what a *****!!
    until I realized, I work with her too...

    and LOL at the all state commercial reference ;)

    beautiful you are amazing
    and I am grateful for you - for this - for our journey we are all in together.

    I have heard it before but I will say it again now.
    We are NOT FAT
    we have fat.

    we are all humans doing the best we can.

    the more we help one another and join together the easier it will be.

    <3
  • jadermary
    jadermary Posts: 105 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • Healthy_4_Life2
    Healthy_4_Life2 Posts: 595 Member
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    Wow!! Thanks for sharing this!!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    This made me very angry at first, then sad. I like the message, but I have questions:

    1. What are you going to do to stop saying these things to yourself?

    Well, I haven't quite figured it out. Part of my self healing comes from blogging and writing, and the feedback that has come from it. I'm going to try and duct tape that chick's mouth shut, but she's telepathic and I haven't got a mind shield helmet yet.

    End point is that I need to stop doing it.
    2. Are these thoughts causing you to treat others negatively/nastily?

    Honestly, I think it causes me to do the exact opposite. Because I know how miserable and hurt it makes me.
    I'm curious to know how you think others perceive you. Could be an interesting question to ask the people around you in real life.

    When I was going through some emotional personal stuff, I would come across as very angry towards others. Nobody wanted to approach me, I just oozed anger. Once I got through it, others saw me as a much happier, more relaxed person. I had no conscious idea that I was projecting my issues out into the world.

    For some reason, people seem to like me. And they say nice stuff about me. And I often argue with them. If not out loud, certainly in my head. I realize if I argue with them out loud, then it is negating their feelings and dismissive of them, so I keep it quiet sometimes.. until enough it backs up, and I lose it, and out pops a thread like this one.

    I do know, however, that when the emotions like these are at an all time high, my kids FEEL it and they react with tension and emotion. And while I try to shield them from the talk, they pick up on the emotion.

    Thank you for asking these questions, it means a lot to me that you would take that time.
  • Girldreamingofliving
    Girldreamingofliving Posts: 21 Member
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    Fantastic post! Completely understand what you are saying, had a down couple of days which is unlike me, And for the first time since I started losing weight, there was that voice saying I was ugly and horrible and worthless, I was in the shower at the time, and thought no! So I argued with myself, until the other me shut up :P Not actually as crazy as that might sound lol.
    Learning to try and love yourself is hard enough without your own worst enemy pushing the right buttons to upset you.
    I may not have a great body, but I have already progressed on my body and mind and I am damn proud! I will certainly not let myself stand in the way of being happy, not this time, and not ever again xoxo
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    There is this woman I work with, and see every day. She is always talking to me and saying what is on her mind, and it is unfiltered, unbridled hatred. Here are some of the things she has said to me... this past week ALONE...

    * * *
    Those pants you are wearing, they cut into your tummy and your fat rolls hang over. It's totally obvious.
    Your *kitten* has so many dimples in it, my golf balls are jealous
    You have so many scars on your legs from mosquito bites.. they're hideous
    You are useless and cannot manage your house
    You suck as a mom
    You suck as a partner
    You suck at work
    You look like crap. Old crap.

    Can you do anything right?

    You've gained weight, and it's totally obvious

    You cannot do your hair, at all... hell you apparently can't even use a straightener
    You do your makeup in the car... and it shows

    Your ex is right, you cant do anything on your own
    You don't deserve to look the way you do. You eat crappy and you don't work out enough. You should workout more.
    You think you're so hot, and you aren't.
    You are NOT awesome
    You are NOT incredible

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTnuOYRglPrn5MbmJWEngR9hkEo8Gt8qgaYU8KOhkvpj6UXroCf

    Have you figured it out yet?
    That woman is me.
    And she is a real ***** to the one person she should be kindest to.
    Herself.

    I should dive into this deeper.
    No, I would not be able to hang around someone else if they spoke to me that way.
    And yet I do it all the time.
    I try to dress it up as something other than what it is.
    Try to pretend it's not poisonous.

    But that's all bull****.

    I need to be my own best cheerleader. Not my own biggest critic.
    I need to be there for myself, because I'm the only thing in my life I can count on always being there. Sounds stupid, but it's true.
    HOW do I expect to achieve anything when I believe this ****?
    And what the hell am I mirroring to my kids?
    For their sake, and for my own... I need to cut that **** out.

    Don't know you, but wanted to slap that beyotch 1/2 way through. Thought "Wow how can anyone be so mean?" "Why would she put up with that" Then when I saw the punch line I thought "Holy heck that is ME!"

    I am much kinder to myself now as realize I have only one life, one ME! My kids love me, my friends love me, my extended family love me. I was divorced last year after almost 30 years and this week I found out even my IN LAWS love me. JUST the way I am. Not "When you lose 10 pounds" Or "After you start at the gym"

    So I will join you today in loving myself (in a way that is Forum Guideline friendly :laugh:) and say "I am pretty dang good just the way I am"

    I noticed my legs are getting thinner today. Niiice!
  • terrigrace
    terrigrace Posts: 199 Member
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    Thanks . . . totally stopped me in my tracks. I was thinking how awful a person that must be, to say those things to you. And then realized I do the same thing to myself. Thanks for the lesson.

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