Being the "fat one"

Ugly men don't seem to be constantly reminded that they're ugly.

We call one another ugly all of the time - we just don't care what other people think of us - particularly other guys.

(Probably not universally true - but true for everyone I know.)

ETA - good lord, you're in your early 20's - lose your 50 lbs and go have a wonderful couple decades - you can have this discussion when you are 40+

Thank you guys, I guess I didn't want this to be a pity party for me, I had just been feeling upset the past few days about these things. I think hanging out with the somewhat shallow early-20s crowd has a lot to do with why I'm feeling more insecure and upset than I did a year ago. You've all really helped me calm down a bit.

This is exactly what came to mind when I read your post. Once you get into your 30s you will probably find that views change and people are not as shallow....or if you still find the same, then you need to really take a look at the people you hang out with and see if that is who you want to be around and associate with. When people settle down and leave the 20s behind they begin to shift in what is important and see what really matters because there is not so much to prove anymore when you settle down with someone. I know that it is not true for all 20 somethings and there are exceptions so take a look at yourself and love who you are regardless of what they say because you really are the only one who's opinion should matter.

You look great to me!

But I understand, I doubt I will ever be the prettiest in the room. :sad:

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Yep! I feel for you. For whatever reason you some how started thinking of yourself that way. I have scar on my face from being assaulted. I always focused on developing my intellect and inner beauty. I always have always been taught that beauty never lasts. So I just try to do the best with what i have and not worry so much about what people think of how I look. It really is the inner you that matters most. But we can control how our body looks and have the body we want. I must admit, I LOVE make up, even though there are days when I don't wear any of it now. Never apologize for trying to be the best you. LOVE YOURSELF!

You are beautiful! Know it!

YES!! Age is just a number! I am 48.

Yes, now that you're in your EARLY TWENTIES, it's all over for you. If you've ever looked at weight-loss pictures, as I'm sure we all have, some of the transformations are mind-blowingly unexpected. So many people who would have been considered unattractive end up as hotties. It happens all the time. Being young gives you an advantage that a lot of us don't have.

Looking at your pictures, I'm pretty sure there's a super hotty in there.

I guess I'm a few days behind but hopefully this is still relevant to you. I've been feeling this way lately as well (hence my being back on this website). I'm 20 and am usually the heaviest in the room at any stupid college party/ friend gathering, whatever. I have a great boyfriend of almost 3 years who thinks I am sexy and beautiful and reminds me of that all the time but it really doesn't change the way I feel about myself. No one has been outwardly mean to me since I graduated high school but I feel like a lot of people don't give me the time of day because I'm overweight, which to a lot of shallow people means ugly. (That being said-, maybe this way of thinking makes me seem shy and unapproachable... but those are my own social problems lol) Point being- after some recent ~soul searching~ I've realized how I think I'm perceived probably has a lot to do with how I feel about myself. I'm at a low point in my self esteem and after weeks of watching murder mystery shows and eating potato chips I remembered that things don't have to be this way. I'm trying hard to disassociate weight loss with becoming beautiful. I know that I can become a much happier (and of course healthier) person. And when I've reached my goal and all the haters flock to tell me how sexy I am, I'm gonna remember that those are the *****es who I've known for the last year or two that never gave me a chance and I'm gonna tell em to walk! :glasses: