OMG, you wouldn't believe what she has been saying to me!
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two letters, H R0
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i've got to admit that when i read your story, i was like piiisss offff...seriously?? cos i look at your profile pic, and your torso looks like its been carved out of granite. But i guess our minds work in mysterious ways and i wont pretend i understand but respect that it takes humility and bravery to share with us how you really feel. even if it sounds daft to a muppet like me.
but hey, i think you posses a body that 98% of the worlds population could only dream of.
(disclaimer: i dont have any evidence to back up my statement, but damnnn you is ripped like a motherfu...WATCH YO MOUTH!)0 -
This may sound very odd. But there are time I wished I thought of myself this way. I have so much weight to lose. But until I look at PICTURES of me, I don't see myself as being THAT over weight. I have taught myself my whole life to not care what others think of me and put up a wall about my weight. To an extent it is a good thing because I truly don't care what others think. But at the same time, maybe if I thought this way, I would be more motivated to actually get off my fat @ss and do something about my weight.
Sandy, YOU are an amazing person. You are beautiful and funny. Your laugh and smile are contagious. I really hope you can get past this and see what we all see!0 -
sad but true, mind is a dangerous playground!0
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There is this woman I work with, and see every day. She is always talking to me and saying what is on her mind, and it is unfiltered, unbridled hatred. Here are some of the things she has said to me... this past week ALONE...
* * *
Those pants you are wearing, they cut into your tummy and your fat rolls hang over. It's totally obvious.
Your *kitten* has so many dimples in it, my golf balls are jealous
You have so many scars on your legs from mosquito bites.. they're hideous
You are useless and cannot manage your house
You suck as a mom
You suck as a partner
You suck at work
You look like crap. Old crap.
Can you do anything right?
You've gained weight, and it's totally obvious
You cannot do your hair, at all... hell you apparently can't even use a straightener
You do your makeup in the car... and it shows
Your ex is right, you cant do anything on your own
You don't deserve to look the way you do. You eat crappy and you don't work out enough. You should workout more.
You think you're so hot, and you aren't.
You are NOT awesome
You are NOT incredible
Have you figured it out yet?
That woman is me.
And she is a real ***** to the one person she should be kindest to.
Herself.
I should dive into this deeper.
No, I would not be able to hang around someone else if they spoke to me that way.
And yet I do it all the time.
I try to dress it up as something other than what it is.
Try to pretend it's not poisonous.
But that's all bull****.
I need to be my own best cheerleader. Not my own biggest critic.
I need to be there for myself, because I'm the only thing in my life I can count on always being there. Sounds stupid, but it's true.
HOW do I expect to achieve anything when I believe this ****?
And what the hell am I mirroring to my kids?
For their sake, and for my own... I need to cut that **** out.
^^^This^^^ is why I love being your MFP friend!0 -
great post thank you0
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WOW!!! Slap me in the FACE!!!! :flowerforyou: Thank you!0
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Great post.
*kitten* everybody...
Right?0 -
^^^This^^^ is why I love being your MFP friend!
The pleasure is all mine. :flowerforyou:0 -
maybe some counseling would help.0
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Thank you, i needed this0
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This is amazing. Thank you for the perspective.
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You got me there! Lol, I like it because wether we'd liked to admit it or not, these thoughts do happen and it does make a difference in how we battle obstacles. I am going to share this!0
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Kindness & Love <3<30
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This is great and so true.0
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Sandy,
I read your posts last night before bed and when I awoke this was in my head.REFLECTIONS
Please forgive us for the compliments, the things we say are true
You see yourself through our eyes when you hear what we say about you
It's hard for you to believe it, coming from such a tortured space,
The Ex, your Mother-in-law, even YOU now, trying to keep you "in your place"
The walls they built around you, weren't erected out of love
The chains they used to bind you, didn't come from up above
They say things to control you, get you to "tow the line"
"A good woman doesn't do that! You've REALLY blown it this time!"
"How can anyone love you, with all the mistakes you've made?"
You see the mess you've created and wish for an early grave
Over all the crit-i-cisms, the put-downs and the strife
One voice cries out the loudest and cuts you like a knife
That little voice inside you screams loud above the fray
"Look at the disaster you've made here! Surely you gotta pay!"
Your life it was so perfect when viewed from beyond the wall
We couldn't see THE HELL you kept so hidden from us all
Then one day things exploded. You couldn't take it anymore
You lay there alone and broken, sick of everyone keeping score
Of every thought and action, every word and every deed
You looked for once at your heart. What did it really need?
Was it so wrong to ask yourself to be cherished and shown you care
To live life without condemnation in your icy judgmental stare
"If only" is for losers who live only in the past
Seeing the worst in their reflection, why their relationships don't last
Keeping everyone at a distance is what you tried to do
Because how could anyone love you if they knew the real you?
...
So... Sick of all the bull****, the lies and all the pain
a glimpse you caught through our eyes sparked hope you'd love (yourself) again
This is my reply (with nary a compliment among all those words).
It is my intention that it help and not hurt. Think of it as a poetic hug from the universe, and my subconscious trying to say, "I understand".
>Rob0 -
Wow, I was seriously enraged for you until I got to the punch line..then I got all girly emotional because I realized I do this stupid crap too! Grr..we've GOT to do better! Love the post!0
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Wow! I was ready to bash the lady that was talking to you...You are right. We ARE our worst enemy! Thanks for reminding me!
I need to give that woman a different view!0 -
It amazes me how I can try to support and understand everyone else then not be able to do it for myself. I'm sure this is a behavior that I can learn to change through practice and plan to start with baby steps. At least I know I'm not alone in this situation.
WE CAN CHANGE THIS!!!!0 -
I am thrilled at the response to this thread. I am glad that others can relate and see that it needs to stop. I am so touched by imnotthatbob's poem, and cherish his friendship greatly.
Thank you to everyone.
*Lotsa hugs*0
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