Why do some people try to make me feel bad..

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Absonthebrain
Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why do some people try to make me feel bad for working out?
So today was my sis in laws baby shower and it was great, I actually helped host it which did make me a bit nervous but I pretended that it didn't(I'm a quiet person). Any-who some of my hubby's family had some looks and comments about me... One made me frustrated, his cousin says oh "you work out", and I was like yeah. The she says "well you don't wanna get buns of steel men don't like that, trust me he'll leave. Men like alot of jelly"-mind you she has plenty but that's neither here nor there. I said under my breathe they don't like it super sloppy either. Mean-yes I know but she didn't even hear me, and I have never tried to make her or anyone feel bad for not being what they want to be. I'm always there to answer their questions about fitness but I don't judge them cause they are not in shape. Then I was told by another cousin my vein was popping out, I shouldn't work out no more. Only one cousin who recently started working out was nice, but it was hard for me to trust what she was saying cause those other people had already made me feel weird. I mean I love working out and I love the changes in my body. My butt is lifted and I still have a lot of jiggle. My arms have always been kind of muscly and they couldn't see my abs but can put them away when I'm ready, lol.. I'm not always flexing or wearing a 2 piece! Sometimes I just wanna quit everything so I wont have to worry about being judged but other times like when I'm dying to be active I think who cares what they think. I wish I could have a positive attitude all the time but I'm human. I did recently slow down on my working out because I was scared my hubby wouldn't want me to get all big and I don't wanna get all big. I don't feel big but I know I'm not like I used to be.
How do you deal with situations like this?
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Replies

  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
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    Women don't get big. We don't have the chemistry. If you're worried about how your husband will feel about the new you, ride him for a few hours. He won't care if you're more toned.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    They sound jealous. Don't let them tear you down, you look fantastic!
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    You think so Mjrkearney! I should try that, I wonder what exercises will make me be able to go that long, lmao!
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    Thanks AlongCame_Mol! Im really trying hard but lately it seems like it coming at me from all angles. Do people ever make you feel like that?
  • mferoli
    mferoli Posts: 13 Member
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    I would simply say, "I'm not working out to get muscles, I'm working out to be healthy and happy." and leave it at that.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
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    I like to say, "I'm sorry I'm not working out so that your prejudices will be attracted to me."
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    Girl you look good, they are just super intimidated. I think if this is really becoming a concern the only person you should address is your husband. Honestly you do not have to answer all fitness questions. I'm not advanced or anything but when people want to know my workout (since I lost a significant amount of weight) I just say " I do not disclose my workout."
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Haters.... what ever... Do You
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I'm sorry, but that was just straight up jealousy. I would have flat out laughed (or at the very least smirked) at anyone who said such a ridiculous thing to me. (No one ever has, though, probably because I have a confident vibe.) I wouldn't even feel bad laughing in their face. Anyone who comes with such stupid crap as that probably needs a good mocking. It's absurd, so don't even worry about it. :flowerforyou:

    P.S. It was more an insult to your husband than it was to you, in my opinion. Bullies are always sniffing around for sensitive people. She sensed weakness and she went for it. Work on toughening up your mind as well as your body. :drinker:
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    Girl you look good, they are just super intimidated. I think if this is really becoming a concern the only person you should address is your husband. Honestly you do not have to answer all fitness questions.

    I'm not advanced or anything but when people want to know my workout (since I lost a significant amount of weight) I just say " I do not disclose my workout."


    You do and they don't give you attitude?
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Don't slow down unless you're burned out, and I know you're not. Your man knows you're hot. He ain't going NO where. People prob see you and know they'd never be able to achieve what you have because they're lazy. Shame on them for trying to make you feel how they feel: miserable. I'm getting hints of vascularity... hints! And if they pop out I will jump for joy! Keep kickin' *kitten*, keep the abs, veins, arms, butt! It's all good!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    You look great. Flat out don't listen to them.

    People are always going to say stuff.. people are always going to have opinions. But you have no reason to let those opinions affect the way you think.
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    @Jenilaa

    P.S. It was more an insult to your husband than it was to you, in my opinion. Bullies are always sniffing around for sensitive people. She sensed weakness and she went for it. Work on toughening up your mind as well as your body. :drinker:
    [/quote]

    You are right on the money!!! That's exaclty how I felt the whole time like they were looking at me and then looking at himn and thinking dude your wifes too skinny and has muscles not good...

    uhhh so irritating, i gotta find my confidence because this in a few weeks there gonna be a family reunion with the same in laws and I better be ready!
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    Don't slow down unless you're burned out, and I know you're not. Your man knows you're hot. He ain't going NO where. People prob see you and know they'd never be able to achieve what you have because they're lazy. Shame on them for trying to make you feel how they feel: miserable. I'm getting hints of vascularity... hints! And if they pop out I will jump for joy! Keep kickin' *kitten*, keep the abs, veins, arms, butt! It's all good!

    Thanks Mayra! I hear you and nope im not burned out, lol...its so hard explaining that I can't sit still for too long, lmao!! Im going to have to get tougher so I can deal with these types of situations better.
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    Haters.... what ever... Do You


    You soo right!! F' em, they all suck anyway!! :drinker:
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
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    I would simply say, "I'm not working out to get muscles, I'm working out to be healthy and happy." and leave it at that.
  • GodlessHeathen
    GodlessHeathen Posts: 27 Member
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    Just nod your head and smile
  • evviamarshall
    evviamarshall Posts: 80 Member
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    Sounds like jealousy to me.
  • Hollabauler
    Hollabauler Posts: 44 Member
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    Oh girl, don't give another thought to what those people think about you! They obviously are not worth your time much less your thoughts! Why do you work out? You love it, and you love how you feel and look. That's all you need!

    People can be mean sometimes, I know all about it. It's not easy to not care what anyone else thinks, but when someone talks to you like the way they talked to you, they are not interested in your well being. They are trying to make themselves feel better at your expense.

    You are incredible. Own it. :)
  • Coach_T
    Coach_T Posts: 462 Member
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    I come to find out that when others have not been through your struggles and hard work they are quick to make selfish, rude and unnecessary comments as if they know best. Sometimes they are just plain jealous.

    You have to remember why (the love) you are doing what you are doing. That self reward reached at the end of every goal. I call it the light.

    In college I had family members tell me i'm studying to hard or telling me I have to much on my plate. I knew why I was doing what I was doing and in the end, I came out with my degrees and career waiting on me.

    In fitness, co workers tell me "you look great, no need for you to doing anything else", but they don't know my struggle or goals so I keep pressing forward. My fitness, is a life style change and I know the confidence and joy it brings. As long as your hubby and kids support you and you love the joy it brings, keep pushing forward.

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