I feel unsupported when ______________.

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245

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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I remove my bra.
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    I feel unsupported when I tell myself that I can't accomplish my goal. I feel unsupported when I blame my problems on the actions of others. I feel unsupported when I waste time complaining about problems instead of solving problems. I started having success with my goals when I realized that it was all on me. Others can and have helped, but the ultimate responsibility lies with me and me alone.

    I've made special meals for myself and had my wife and kids eat them. Frustrating. So I learned to make enough for all of us. It was sort of ridiculous for me to expect to not share food with my family in the first place. It's the equivalent of using a marker to write my name on a gallon of milk.

    Sometimes they eat my food. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they order pizza and eat it while I'm suffering thru chicken and rice. Sometimes I say fk it and enjoy the pizza with them.

    The point is, just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean my whole family had to change with me. We shared all our food before so we can share it now. Or they can eat the regular meals while I change my diet. They don't have to eat cauliflower pizza crust* just because I am.





    *Kidding. I'll stay fat before that shurlit ever crosses my lips

    Just to be clear...I was not just upset at him eating it...it was him eating it, after I had made a point to say that's my lunch for tomorrow (I had already done the work measuring it out and putting it up). He ate it as a snack (for me it was a whole meal) AND on top of that I was trying to accommodate something he wanted by planning ahead to meet my goals/needs. It's not like we didn't have anything else in the house he likes to eat. I don't expect him to change (we've already been down that road, and it's not pretty). To me, his decision to eat it AFTER I had made it clear it was for me was simply disrespectful to me.
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    I remove my bra.


    LOL - that was funny!!!!!
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    I remove my bra.
    You beat me to it!
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
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    ....She went to the store on Monday and there just so happened to be a sale on Little Debbie snacks, so she bought 12 boxes. I am NOT exaggerating. 12. TWELVE. Granted she did keep them in her room, but I still had that temptation. I understand that there will always be temptations.

    She had the weight loss surgery and doesn't want me to have it, claiming that I'd feel better if I lost it all on my own.

    Ummm....12 boxes of freakin Little Debbie snacks that she keeps in her room???? Let me guess....she also says weight loss surgery doesn't work, right??
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198
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    sooo make extra next time? annoying that you planned for the food but he ate it? understandable. but he was eating something healthy instead of a frozen pizza. consider it a win!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    You sound like a joy to live with.

    Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?
  • Lili0817
    Lili0817 Posts: 109 Member
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    Sounds like your husband is not supportive and instead of helping you out, or encouraging you he is providing barriers and trying to sabbatoge your weight loss efforts. He is probabley feeling threatened, as other people have stated! Don't give up, stay strong and don't let him bring you down. And if it's going to take labeling your food to stop him from eating it, do it! :)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    What's the big deal with labeling food that you want to make sure is saved for you? I live with only my husband and I label stuff with my name all the time. Also, I label food that I want HIM to eat.

    I wouldn't recommend throwing away your husband's "junk" food, as that's just immature and then you're kind of encouraging him to eat even more of the stuff you're saving for yourself.

    I have a roommate.

    I pre-measure my food (he does give me grief about the lack of pasta and lack of rice.

    we have a shelf in the middle of the fridge- top shelf is set to hold a 12 pack of beer- so it's fairly low... the middle shelf is only 6" maybe from the top shelf. ANYTHING ON THAT SHELF IS MINE AND OFF LIMITS. I do cook in bulk- so I always make sure I measure out mine then put extras up top- so I feel that it's fair- he buys food when we go out to eat.

    If it's on the top shelf- it's fair game. period. End of story. I don't drink his IPA beer. And he doesn't eat my food.

    Themz the rulez.
  • leroyizzy
    leroyizzy Posts: 55
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    My cousin brought over the Insanity DVD's for me to use. The set was missing one DVD and when she told me that my hubby chimed in that I wouldn't need it anyway...that skinny *kitten* hubby of mine! LOL! I try not to get pissed at him because he is normally supportive and I can handle a little sarcasm. I do have a strong opinion that when I cook a delicious healthy meal, if you don't like it you fend for yourself! I am a damn good cook after all! :smile:
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    You sound like a joy to live with.

    Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?

    Wow is that what you got from my post? Dang, now I'm crying...I try so hard to work around my husband's wants. I am not capable of making him happy. I bought him food he wanted, but didn't eat. I had made the soup for supper and the "leftovers" were for my lunch. He has eaten my preplanned/premeasured food before, and at those times I didn't say anything because I did not tell him my future plans for it. This time I "communicated" to him what I was doing with it - communication isn't that what all the therapists say to do? I don't go out much during the day...I try to stay home and eat at home to save money. What was I supposed to do??? I do want to be a good wife, does that mean letting him walk on me too?
  • Mishinmite
    Mishinmite Posts: 43 Member
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    For the anniversary of our first meeting, my fiance brought home 2 dozen roses, a romantic card and low-cal ice cream bars. I love him so much. :heart:
  • ViktoryaC
    ViktoryaC Posts: 124 Member
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    Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    sooo make extra next time? annoying that you planned for the food but he ate it? understandable. but he was eating something healthy instead of a frozen pizza. consider it a win!

    Yes, it is a win for him to eat something healthy...However, he's not trying to eat healthy...he also, ate more stuff after that - so lose/lose for both of us. What ended up happening is that all I was left with the next day to eat was a choice of his junk food or my healthy snacks (because I didn't know the soup had been eaten...I had time to heat and eat, not make another healthy meal)...I choose my snacks, but the point where I felt unsupported was him eating it after I had said that's for me for tomorrow, please don't eat it.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I remove my bra.

    Damn! Beat me to it. Well done.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    Sharing food is one of the things that people often expect in relationships, which doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to have your own food, but might explain why these changes can inspire rebellion in the other person. Maybe your husband would like to try some healthy eating too, even part time, with his special treats around. Measure out two portions next time.

    P.S. Ah man, don't cry. You're still working out what works. People don't always communicate what they really want, or even know what they really want.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Everyone in my workplace is overweight, and we have boxes of donuts EVERY DAY. I was skinny when I started, 5'6, 110 pounds, one year later, i'm 161. Everyone there told me I'd get fat like them, and they are delighted that I have. They wont stop bringing in the snacks and openly mock my mourning of my former figure. I almost wonder if I need a new job, but thats easier said then done.

    holySH%Tsnacksbatman

    don't give in- fight back.

    Since I started my desk job over a year ago- I've managed to lose 20 lbs. I refuse to become on of the desk jockey obese people I currently worth with- it's awful.

    They try to give me a hard time about it- but they can't- I look amazing and they know it. It's hysterical.

    FIGHT BACK

    VIva La Resistance!!!!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Start labeling your food. If he keeps eating after that, you have a real problem. Sounds like he gave you a solution.
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    My cousin brought over the Insanity DVD's for me to use. The set was missing one DVD and when she told me that my hubby chimed in that I wouldn't need it anyway...that skinny *kitten* hubby of mine! LOL! I try not to get pissed at him because he is normally supportive and I can handle a little sarcasm. I do have a strong opinion that when I cook a delicious healthy meal, if you don't like it you fend for yourself! I am a damn good cook after all! :smile:


    Yeah - I get those comments here too over things. I don't mind things being said lovingly (even with sarcasm mixed in), I try to just ignore them and do my thang.
  • Brandyyee
    Brandyyee Posts: 7 Member
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    My co workers are the worst. I bring in salads, fruits and veggies ...they bring in cupcakes, muffins and chips... they always say its ok just have one...or just have a cup of this... or they kinda laugh and say the diet girl but its like i just want to be healthy...what is the problem with that? UGH aggervates me. But my fiance is great he supports me and tries to diet himself. He like whatever i cook and if i cook good he still eats it. Im lucky in that regard. But my motto is Follow your Tastes...Dont be persuaded into eating unhealthy due to pressure of others... stand your ground!

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