I feel unsupported when ______________.

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124

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  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
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    I feel unsupported when.....im not wearing a bra.



    But to the OP, my husband does that all the time. Ill be snacking and he grabs a handful of my food and munches on it. Ive told him ill fix him a snack too, but it never stops him. So now, i put extra on my plate if i know its something hes going to grab (cheese, ice cream, snack mix). I count out the extra so i know to stop when theres X amount left. Then i go, "oops. Made too much. You want the rest?"

    Im also the ziploc/tupperware queen...and i hide my premeasured food. Dont get me started when soneone drinks out of my measured jug, especially when there are 3 more next to it.

    Make extra, label the snacks (not even his and hers, just measured or free).

    Eta: if all else fails-booby trap. We had an ongoing issue with hubs drinking my favorite koolaid, even though he had his own jug. So one time, i made it with splenda+fiber. I said, "the orange koolaid is mine. I made blue since its your favorite."

    Lo and behold, i got 2 cups out of the whole stupid gallon. And he got 80+g fiber in 12 hours. When he couldnt get off the toilet, i casuslly told him through the door, "i told you not to touch my freaking koolaid."
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I know its hard to believe. I cant believe I went from a size 4 to a 16 in one year either. I want and intend to fight back, but its hard because physically, I've already become one of them. I need to start holding my ground, but its hard for me to be motivated when I'm already FAT.

    Just think about how the sooner you start resisting, the sooner you'll be back to your old size. =D
  • mochicakes92
    mochicakes92 Posts: 48 Member
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    I feel unsupported when my grandma KNOWS I'm on a diet but she is always trying to shove things like ice cream and sherbert and soda down my throat. I know she is just older and trying to help, but it's so annoying and frustrating when she keeps offering after I say no because she KNOWS I am on a diet.
  • Labouffecestbon
    Labouffecestbon Posts: 182 Member
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    ...my 10-month old crawls around my legs, giggling, pulls and flips my yoga mat and chases after my shoe laces, as I'm in some intense workout, sweating like a pig, visioning my future fit and toned self, all the while jumping up and down, sideways, changing positions, so that I don't step on his tiny fingers or kick his head. Sabotage much??? ⌐_⌐


    @OP: All I can say is, hang in there!
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
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    My issue is actually with coworkers. They see my progress and they always compliment me.. but it seems NOW more than EVER they ask me to order food with them, make fun of the foods I choose to eat, BRING IN cakes and pastries and If I don't take it, I fear they will get offended. Once, I took some cake, but I threw it out.. SOMEONE literally checked my trash and told me that next time I need to eat it!

    WHO DOES THAT?!

    Freakin people I swear..
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    When my mom goes on diets, my dad seems to bring home cherry pie or buys her a bag of chips on his way home from work. We're not sure why.

    its a just in case measure or a sympathy snack or this is his way of saying he loves her no matter what
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    I feel unsupported when.....im not wearing a bra.



    But to the OP, my husband does that all the time. Ill be snacking and he grabs a handful of my food and munches on it. Ive told him ill fix him a snack too, but it never stops him. So now, i put extra on my plate if i know its something hes going to grab (cheese, ice cream, snack mix). I count out the extra so i know to stop when theres X amount left. Then i go, "oops. Made too much. You want the rest?"

    Im also the ziploc/tupperware queen...and i hide my premeasured food. Dont get me started when soneone drinks out of my measured jug, especially when there are 3 more next to it.

    Make extra, label the snacks (not even his and hers, just measured or free).

    Eta: if all else fails-booby trap. We had an ongoing issue with hubs drinking my favorite koolaid, even though he had his own jug. So one time, i made it with splenda+fiber. I said, "the orange koolaid is mine. I made blue since its your favorite."

    Lo and behold, i got 2 cups out of the whole stupid gallon. And he got 80+g fiber in 12 hours. When he couldnt get off the toilet, i casuslly told him through the door, "i told you not to touch my freaking koolaid."

    Thank you - I like your idea of labeling it "measured or free"...as for putting extra food on the plate, I am afraid I may not have the discipline to not eat it, once it's there (I measure in the kitchen, put everything away and then carry it to the dining table or the living room to eat). The koolaid story - not sure I could do that, but it was really funny...did he touch your koolaid after that?
  • blondageh
    blondageh Posts: 923 Member
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    People say to keep going. Eff off mother truckers! I've lost over 100lbs. Can't you just say WOW! Or good job?
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    You sound like a joy to live with.

    Tell me, do you use red tape to separate your side of the bedroom and bed from his?

    Wow is that what you got from my post? Dang, now I'm crying...I try so hard to work around my husband's wants. I am not capable of making him happy. I bought him food he wanted, but didn't eat. I had made the soup for supper and the "leftovers" were for my lunch. He has eaten my preplanned/premeasured food before, and at those times I didn't say anything because I did not tell him my future plans for it. This time I "communicated" to him what I was doing with it - communication isn't that what all the therapists say to do? I don't go out much during the day...I try to stay home and eat at home to save money. What was I supposed to do??? I do want to be a good wife, does that mean letting him walk on me too?

    Just break up.

    Seriously. If eating food in the house is "walking on" you then, well, just wow.

    It's not the eating of the food, it's choosing to not follow a simple request - I don't ask for things like that often. "Walking on" in the sense of disrespecting boundaries...if you ask someone to do something that would not hurt or affect them, and they choose to do the opposite and then laugh at you about it - wouldn't you feel a bit walked on/disrespected? I can honestly say, when I typed the above post it hurt the sentence you made about "joy", but you don't know everything, as I chose to not type everything. I do think you are in the wrong topic area as what you said was neither supporting nor motivating. There were about 20 other things that happened during that same week...as I said in the original post, it was just the final straw...the small thing that made me say enough. The thing that made me mad enough to seek out others in this format to try to vent off some of the frustration/anger I've been feeling over these types of ongoing actions.
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    My issue is actually with coworkers. They see my progress and they always compliment me.. but it seems NOW more than EVER they ask me to order food with them, make fun of the foods I choose to eat, BRING IN cakes and pastries and If I don't take it, I fear they will get offended. Once, I took some cake, but I threw it out.. SOMEONE literally checked my trash and told me that next time I need to eat it!

    WHO DOES THAT?!

    Freakin people I swear..

    Oh, checking in your trash??? that is kinda far...if they told me I needed to eat it, I would have had to ask, "Why?"
  • jljshoe1979
    jljshoe1979 Posts: 325 Member
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    People say to keep going. Eff off mother truckers! I've lost over 100lbs. Can't you just say WOW! Or good job?


    Wow - congrats!!!! 110 lbs lost that IS awesome!!!!!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    As long as what I am doing seems reasonable, my family and friends are right behind me. When I lost more weight than I wanted to and found it hard to stop losing, that support turned to threats to force feed me, which is still support. Members of my family have said insensitive things at times, but I think they're more thoughtless than unsupportive.

    As for whoever was eating 'only 2-3 donuts a day', if that's in Addition to eating normally, that could easily be an extra 1000kcal a day!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Oops! Double post!
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
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    I feel unsupported when I tell myself that I can't accomplish my goal. I feel unsupported when I blame my problems on the actions of others. I feel unsupported when I waste time complaining about problems instead of solving problems. I started having success with my goals when I realized that it was all on me. Others can and have helped, but the ultimate responsibility lies with me and me alone.

    I've made special meals for myself and had my wife and kids eat them. Frustrating. So I learned to make enough for all of us. It was sort of ridiculous for me to expect to not share food with my family in the first place. It's the equivalent of using a marker to write my name on a gallon of milk.

    Sometimes they eat my food. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they order pizza and eat it while I'm suffering thru chicken and rice. Sometimes I say fk it and enjoy the pizza with them.

    The point is, just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean my whole family had to change with me. We shared all our food before so we can share it now. Or they can eat the regular meals while I change my diet. They don't have to eat cauliflower pizza crust* just because I am.





    *Kidding. I'll stay fat before that shurlit ever crosses my lips

    Just to be clear...I was not just upset at him eating it...it was him eating it, after I had made a point to say that's my lunch for tomorrow (I had already done the work measuring it out and putting it up). He ate it as a snack (for me it was a whole meal) AND on top of that I was trying to accommodate something he wanted by planning ahead to meet my goals/needs. It's not like we didn't have anything else in the house he likes to eat. I don't expect him to change (we've already been down that road, and it's not pretty). To me, his decision to eat it AFTER I had made it clear it was for me was simply disrespectful to me.

    So you aren't upset because he ate it.....you were just upset because he ate it?

    giggle
  • CountryGirl8542
    CountryGirl8542 Posts: 449 Member
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    You should ask him if he would like to join you on your journey... My hubby also eats the junk... but whatever I make for dinner.. he will eat... within reason... he is picky... so we always have basic dinners like chicken, fish turkey, pasta, rice, potatoes, carrots, broccoli... and I measure my food but I let him eat however much he wants (he has a pretty fast metabolism). I also told him that this is a lifestyle choice for me and if he didn't like it or support me in the ways that I needed him that our relationship may be at risk of not working because being healthy is now a part of who I am.... He loves going to the movies and eating out... so we made a deal that twice a month... we go for dinner and a movie but only if I do well with my eating and exercising. Now, he makes sure I do well so can eat out :)

    Hope this helps! Good luck!
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    What's the big deal with labeling food that you want to make sure is saved for you? I live with only my husband and I label stuff with my name all the time. Also, I label food that I want HIM to eat.

    I wouldn't recommend throwing away your husband's "junk" food, as that's just immature and then you're kind of encouraging him to eat even more of the stuff you're saving for yourself.

    So this - my boyfriend and I label my our foods because I have food allergies. And if he wants some of mine he asks. He doesn't mind that I calorie count either, because he knows it doesn't affect him (mean I don't force him to eat better, he can eat whatever the hell he wants, it's his life.)
  • Kadiebug3000
    Kadiebug3000 Posts: 10
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    My dad brought home COOKIES.
  • cgphelps24
    cgphelps24 Posts: 122 Member
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    My ex husband use to sabotage my diets as well. He use to say that he liked me chunky. Truth was he thought if I was bigger then no one else would look at me and he could feel more secure. You would think being with him 20 years would have been security enough.

    And after all that and the extra 100 pounds I gained in our relation ship he is the one who cheated. smh!!
    Now I am single and losing all this extra weight!! :smile:
  • queenbree13
    queenbree13 Posts: 89 Member
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    ....She went to the store on Monday and there just so happened to be a sale on Little Debbie snacks, so she bought 12 boxes. I am NOT exaggerating. 12. TWELVE. Granted she did keep them in her room, but I still had that temptation. I understand that there will always be temptations.

    She had the weight loss surgery and doesn't want me to have it, claiming that I'd feel better if I lost it all on my own.

    Ummm....12 boxes of freakin Little Debbie snacks that she keeps in her room???? Let me guess....she also says weight loss surgery doesn't work, right??


    No, she doesn't say that. She actually is at a healthy weight. She doesn't eat the snacks. Just makes sure nobody eats all of them in one night.
    I'm not trying to dog on my mother by any means. Just difficult to explain.
  • caribbeangel
    caribbeangel Posts: 6
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    The good news is that she loves yogurt, sees it as a type of ice cream, so she just made a face at him and kept on eating it. I have seen a change in the vegetables she eats, though, and that might be where the problem starts

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