Reputation Besmirched

delicious_cocktail
delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
in Chit-Chat
Another participant in this vast commune recently leveled baseless accusations in the public square regarding the propriety of my communications.

To wit, the slanders included terms such as "perv" and "creeper". The definition of these terms is unclear to me, however their employment in context left me with no doubts: a creeper perv is a base creature indeed, and one who knows know bounds in propriety.

The missives which merited such unkindly public treatment were quite innocuous indeed. I had merely requested to know the physical capabilities and personal physical hygiene customs of a select number of fitness-orientated young ladies. At all times I comported myself with the utmost respect for their virtue.

I was quite discreet in my communications and yet they were quite the opposite in announcing their disdain.

In summation I say this: if inquiring about the load your torso can bear in squats and presses, and asking for photographic evidence from a number of angles and possibly worn clothing from the exercise, is a crime, then sir, I demand as a gentleman to be taken immediately to the gallows!
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Replies

  • magnum26
    magnum26 Posts: 356 Member
    Proof or GTFO

    :D
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    IN for more information about this "load" of which you speak.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    This seems to be going around today.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Proof or GTFO

    :D

    Proof! Proof of my claims? After all of the indignities I have suffered in this arena, now my very integrity is to be questioned? My word of honor as a gentleman? Oh dear Lord is there no end for your poor Job?
    IN for more information about this "load" of which you speak.

    It is merely a question of capability, my fine friend. The female form in particular is designed by our Lord to bear quite a large burden, and inquiring as to the extent of their blessings should hardly be considered salacious!
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    In for besmirched. Love that word. :love:
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    methinks the lord doth protest too much.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    1370325630876508.jpg
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    This seems to be going around today.

    Perhaps we should rename it to butthurt Wednesday.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    Proof or GTFO

    :D

    Proof! Proof of my claims? After all of the indignities I have suffered in this arena, now my very integrity is to be questioned? My word of honor as a gentleman? Oh dear Lord is there no end for your poor Job?
    IN for more information about this "load" of which you speak.

    It is merely a question of capability, my fine friend. The female form in particular is designed by our Lord to bear quite a large burden, and inquiring as to the extent of their blessings should hardly be considered salacious!

    Verily?
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Proof or GTFO

    :D

    Proof! Proof of my claims? After all of the indignities I have suffered in this arena, now my very integrity is to be questioned? My word of honor as a gentleman? Oh dear Lord is there no end for your poor Job?
    IN for more information about this "load" of which you speak.

    It is merely a question of capability, my fine friend. The female form in particular is designed by our Lord to bear quite a large burden, and inquiring as to the extent of their blessings should hardly be considered salacious!

    Verily?

    Verily? No.

    Yea, verily? Yea, verily.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    In. For slanderous disdain.
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    thigh guy??? :noway:
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    tumblr_mb3hojUhPt1qih9gi.gif
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
    LMAO
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    I haven't had enough coffee yet for all those big words.
  • GTAFrank
    GTAFrank Posts: 730 Member
    This thread will go one of two ways...

    My guess:

    11722.gif
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    tumblr_mbia5vdmRd1r1mkubo1_500.gif
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Another participant in this vast commune recently leveled baseless accusations in the public square regarding the propriety of my communications.

    To wit, the slanders included terms such as "perv" and "creeper". The definition of these terms is unclear to me, however their employment in context left me with no doubts: a creeper perv is a base creature indeed, and one who knows know bounds in propriety.

    The missives which merited such unkindly public treatment were quite innocuous indeed. I had merely requested to know the physical capabilities and personal physical hygiene customs of a select number of fitness-orientated young ladies. At all times I comported myself with the utmost respect for their virtue.

    I was quite discreet in my communications and yet they were quite the opposite in announcing their disdain.

    In summation I say this: if inquiring about the load your torso can bear in squats and presses, and asking for photographic evidence from a number of angles and possibly worn clothing from the exercise, is a crime, then sir, I demand as a gentleman to be taken immediately to the gallows!

    On the radio recently, I have been hearing of a business that can help you. They claim they can protect your online reputation.

    I believe that this is accomplished by scouring through all the negative references about you or your business and removing them through threat of lawsuit. They replace the negative comments with manufactured flowery comments instead. Once the offending references are removed, I believe they execute the slanderers to prevent them from reposting.

    Let me know if you need the number. The ad comes on about every 4 minutes, and I can write it down for you. They may have even mentioned creepy pervs as a specialty.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I haven't had enough coffee yet for all those big words.

    QFT
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    thigh guy??? :noway:

    I have a Christian name, madame, and I will thank you to use it in reference to me!

    I announce it as Rupert Cyril Toppenbottom, and I am unashamed!
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    Proof or GTFO

    :D

    Proof! Proof of my claims? After all of the indignities I have suffered in this arena, now my very integrity is to be questioned? My word of honor as a gentleman? Oh dear Lord is there no end for your poor Job?
    IN for more information about this "load" of which you speak.

    It is merely a question of capability, my fine friend. The female form in particular is designed by our Lord to bear quite a large burden, and inquiring as to the extent of their blessings should hardly be considered salacious!

    Verily?

    Verily? No.

    Yea, verily? Yea, verily.

    Doth thou even hoist?!
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    In for old-timey-glove-slappy indignation. Forsooth, and *kitten*.

    2gv1sg2.gif
  • kerricolby
    kerricolby Posts: 232 Member
    Is this a glove slapping/duel challenging time?
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I haven't had enough coffee yet for all those big words.

    +1
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    thigh guy??? :noway:

    I have a Christian name, madame, and I will thank you to use it in reference to me!

    I announce it as Rupert Cyril Toppenbottom, and I am unashamed!

    Blaggard! Surely thou art a goodly rotten apple. I take thee for a thigh gazer sir!
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I heart you so hard right now.

    Oba6pIg.gif
  • HarryDotter
    HarryDotter Posts: 32
    I haven't had enough coffee yet for all those big words.

    5148660338_d694e694c7.jpg

    Here ya go
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    Bump for the laughs
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Another participant in this vast commune recently leveled baseless accusations in the public square regarding the propriety of my communications.
    So I was chilling on MFP, and some dame starts talking smack about me.

    To wit, the slanders included terms such as "perv" and "creeper". The definition of these terms is unclear to me, however their employment in context left me with no doubts: a creeper perv is a base creature indeed, and one who knows know bounds in propriety.

    The missives which merited such unkindly public treatment were quite innocuous indeed. I had merely requested to know the physical capabilities and personal physical hygiene customs of a select number of fitness-orientated young ladies. At all times I comported myself with the utmost respect for their virtue.
    She said I was ****** creepy for checking out the ladies. I'm just saying, "Dat @ss baby when you squat".
    I was quite discreet in my communications and yet they were quite the opposite in announcing their disdain.
    It was a private message. WTF you want to drag it out in public for?

    In summation I say this: if inquiring about the load your torso can bear in squats and presses, and asking for photographic evidence from a number of angles and possibly worn clothing from the exercise, is a crime, then sir, I demand as a gentleman to be taken immediately to the gallows!
    Rage-quit!
  • griff7809
    griff7809 Posts: 611 Member
    <
    not smart enough to be here.....backing out now.

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