Friend Envy

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Replies

  • drkuhl2017
    drkuhl2017 Posts: 181 Member
    Not all that much... my best friend is tiny but she has a boyish figure, no curves at all. Now me on the other hand, I have an hourglass type figure and I love my curves. Not to mention that she is 8.5 inches shorter than me. :) Don't get me wrong, I "envy" (to an extent) certain parts of her body, mostly her stomach because it's awesome! But I definitely don't envy her because she worked hard for her body (she lost like 30 pound I believe it was) and I'll get my own version of myself soon enough.
  • grandpoobah12
    grandpoobah12 Posts: 138
    Everyone feels envious sometimes, It`s natural, the (kinda harsh) big girl panties comments are just trying to tell you that these things mean less and less as you get older. You realize your lucky to have friends but your best friend is always and only you. You`ll really want to stop worrying as soon as possible.

    Life is a lot more fun when your not looking for the next better thing.

    Ha ha maybe.
  • Mishinmite
    Mishinmite Posts: 43 Member
    They can't really eat whatever they want and stay fit. It might seem that way, but maybe they're just really active. Otherwise it won't last forever. My best friend is about my size so I don't have this issue, but I can understand how it would make you feel a little jealous. I think that means you're human. Don't let it ruin your friendship. Just concentrate on the things you love about her.
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
    It's more their ability to know when they're full and to stop eating when they are that I envy. That they don't have to measure everything they consume to maintain whatever weight they are.

    I however have an unfortunate case of 'must-clear-the-plate' mentality, combined with a (now) irrational 'will-there-even-be-stuff-on-the-table-tomorrow' concern, with a lovely touch of 'don't-like-wasting-food' thrown in.

    Oh yeah. And I like chocolate. Like, a LOT.

    But hey, we all have our demons. I don't have theirs and they don't have mine. And sometimes you don't even know what's going on - there have been instances where people I've looked up to and admired in terms of their appearance/confidence/talent have turned out to actually be painfully insecure/fearful/depressed.

    I know where I struggle, and I'm doing something about it. I can't change who I am, so just gotta work with what I have :)
  • BiancaMarie819
    BiancaMarie819 Posts: 67 Member
    Actually yes! But the other way around! Some of my friends are envious of the fact that I go to the gym every day 5-6 times a week, and that I've lost 25 pounds. I'm envious that I'm 170 and I still look pretty much the same! and My friend is 160 and has a medium build. Maybe these last ten pounds will show some major differences?
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    One word:

    Sabotage

    Get on it.
  • JDHINAZ
    JDHINAZ Posts: 641 Member
    Nah. I usually just skin them and wear their skin as a body suit and it makes me feel much better.
    This, except I need another skinny friend so that my body suit will fit. I'll take your friend of they're really bothering you.
  • _meesh_
    _meesh_ Posts: 73
    I admit I'm an 'adult' and I'm envious of many people. My best friend has lost weight (not that I thought she needed to, but she did) by getting to the gym and eating healthy. I wish I had her willpower for eating healthier. My cousin is a wicked crazy runner, and I wish I could like running as much as she does. I know both of them have other things in thier lives that aren't good, and they probably envy me a bit for things I've done.

    While I try to use that envy to motivate me to get out and do what they do, I still sometimes just wish that I had half of the motivation or desire that they have.
  • muguet21
    muguet21 Posts: 8 Member
    If eating junk food or eating whatever you want to eat at any time is your goal, it doesn't sound very healthy. Remember, they may be thin on the outside but possibly rotting on the inside. Being thin is one part of the deal. You may look great but may not feel great. Maybe you should work on your mindset and as to why you want to watch your weight. By doing that you won't feel envious or jealous of your friend's size and eating habits.

    Focus on positive changes that will help you feel better about yourself. Is your friend bothering you because she's making comments or purposely trying to make you feel horrible? Or is she supportive and the negative thoughts are from you? If it's the latter, please put yourself in her shoes and evaluate how that would make you feel. She's allowed to eat what she wants and that's none of your responsibility or business, just like it's none of her business what you decide to eat for lunch or dessert.

    Your friends will not do any work for you. You are the only one responsible for your health. I hope that those feelings will go away because they are not a good source of motivation. There will always be prettier people, thinner people, and people who wear stuff you're dreaming of wearing. And it shouldn't matter. Eat what you want, make your own decisions as to what is best for your body and wear what you want. It's much more satisfying that looking at other people and wishing you were them or just like them.

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