"Eat it- one day won't hurt!"
hep26000
Posts: 156 Member
Why when someone posts a topic asking for help turning a birthday treat down or asking for any advice on how to stay within their calorie goals do people comment that "one day won't hurt you" and "go ahead and indulge it won't kill you"
They posted a topic for advice on something and those people are totally going against what the OP was asking for.
Why not offer encouraging things like "do some extra cardio in the morning if you really want to eat a sweet treat" or bring some snacks with you to have later so you arn't tempted to buy the fattening food"
We are all here (or should be) for the same purpose. Why would you encourage someone to eat calorie filled foods when they are specifically asking for help to stay away from them?
I might get a lot of crap for this but I am honesly just curious.
They posted a topic for advice on something and those people are totally going against what the OP was asking for.
Why not offer encouraging things like "do some extra cardio in the morning if you really want to eat a sweet treat" or bring some snacks with you to have later so you arn't tempted to buy the fattening food"
We are all here (or should be) for the same purpose. Why would you encourage someone to eat calorie filled foods when they are specifically asking for help to stay away from them?
I might get a lot of crap for this but I am honesly just curious.
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Replies
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Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.0 -
Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.
I totally agree with this post. You have to treat yourself once in a while and it won't undo all your hard work. I allow myself a cheat meal or snack once a week and it hasn't worked against me.0 -
Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.
That is understandable. I guess I didn't think about the people that don't know how to eat things in moderation. Luckily I do but there are times when I am planning on going somewhere and there will be temptation to eat some bad meals and I do wonder how I can not fall off the path. I personally allow treats but I want to be able to fit that into my day- not go over my calories. If I want cake- I will plan my other meals around it or take an extra walk but I don't want to go over my goal if I can help it. So that is what I think when these people ask for help and then others are just telling them to eat it anyway.
Thanks for the response!0 -
I too do not understand the notion that someone should just suck it up, live a little, chill out, relax and just eat the damn ___ already.
If someone doesn't want to eat ___(food) for whatever reason they shouldn't be told a million reasons why they should eat it anyhow.0 -
Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.
^^^ This!
I'm guilty of saying it, but typically I look at the diary(if open) to see how they do on a typical day. When I first started back to MFP I was VERY restrictive.. I was craving things simply because I new I could "have" it. I've since changed my method to IIFYM, and I find myself feeling less restricted and I do have the occasional craving, but I try to fit it in. I believe that if we accept what we are going to do, and know its just one day then we will pick ourselves back up and start again the next day. Nothing like feeling so guilty about what you did, that you do it again, IMHO.0 -
Why when someone posts a topic asking for help turning a birthday treat down or asking for any advice on how to stay within their calorie goals do people comment that "one day won't hurt you" and "go ahead and indulge it won't kill you"
They posted a topic for advice on something and those people are totally going against what the OP was asking for.
Why not offer encouraging things like "do some extra cardio in the morning if you really want to eat a sweet treat" or bring some snacks with you to have later so you arn't tempted to buy the fattening food"
We are all here (or should be) for the same purpose. Why would you encourage someone to eat calorie filled foods when they are specifically asking for help to stay away from them?
I might get a lot of crap for this but I am honesly just curious.
The mindset of having to exercise to then reward yourself with food or punish yourself for eating food by doing cardio, certainly sounds like a way to get a healthy relationship with food
All foods are fattening, it just depends on how much of it you eat
And finally what calorie free foods would you suggest people eat if people are suggesting evil, calorie filled foods?0 -
Because having lost 133 pounds and logging on for 740 consecutive days, I know that deprivation leads to binging and giving up, while occasional indulgences - such as cake on your birthday and fair treats during the state fair once per summer - leads to a sustainable, balanced lifestyle one can easily maintaining.
As for cardio, for me exercise isn't a punishment for eating. I'd never suggest someone use it in that way.
I've seen a lot of people with hyper-restrictive diets who refuse to eat their birthday cake (I'd rather have fruit! Promise! For real!) and bring apples to the ball game instead of planning a day that involves beer and a hot dog. Notice I used the past sense...most of these people have long been unfriended because they stopped logging in.
The people on my friends list with incredible losses they're actually maintaining, on the other hand, enjoy treats as part of an overall healthy diet. We weigh our options (I do not eat storebought cake for others' birthdays or crappy donuts dropped off by a vendor) but I'm not into deprivation.
Long-term is what I care about.0 -
Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.
Yup0 -
Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.
^THIS
I've been successful doing "free days" where I eat pretty much whatever I want. Although I will modify my program for my specific goals (cutting fat, gaining muscle, maintenance, etc), I will ALWAYS have free days as part of the program. I include them in my weekly calorie calculations and am responsible for them, but on those days I don't worry about what I'm eating. I don't log every thing - just estimate the free day calories based on previous history that I did log (usually 1,500- 1,800 calories over my TDEE).
Without the free day, I don't think I could be successful long-term because I'd always be thinking about what I'm missing. This way, I can still enjoy the foods I really like - and I'm reminded that I'm really not missing all that much. Generally when I eat a lot of crap I feel... like CRAP. This motivates me to get back on my program and have a really good week.
So yes - I would give the advice to people to just enjoy the food for a special occasion, because these changes are changes you're making for the rest of your life.0 -
Because super restrictive diets just set people up for failure. You have to learn to eat in a way that you can sustain for the rest of your life. It's better to learn to eat in moderation than to try to completely cut something you love our of your diet.
And one bad meal/dessert/day won't undo someone's hard work.
^THIS.0 -
....some of my MFP friends told me to eat pizza last night. I did and it was epic. No regrets.
You have to learn to have 'bad' moments (I think of them as good moments myself...mm...tasty) and to still be able to stay on the horse. THAT is what dedication is. You have to create something that's achievable. My achievable lifestyle involves being able to NOT exercise on days I want to see my partner/friends/family/etc and to eat the occasional pizza, chocolate bar, packet of crisps, yada yada.
I personally don't go against what the status poster requires from their friends....but if they're normally pretty good and are looking for someone to say 'it's okay, you can get up tomorrow and carry on being sexy and healthy' then damn straight I'm going to be the person who says 'EAT UP, DAMMIT'0 -
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Because if you're a grown adult and can't politely manage to turn down a treat you aren't interested in or unaware of how to plan ahead for snacking crisises...then just go ahead and eat it and don't freak out.
How many people ask, How do I say no to an office snack. . . seriously??? Just say no thank you. Do you not have enough self confidence to "Stand up" to the office "snack bully"???
And, in life, there will be snacks, birthday parties/anniversaries, holidays. IF you can't enjoy food AND still make progress. . .the issues go WAY beyond food. Food is just the current symptom of a much larger control/self esteem issue.
My anger may or may not be aggravated by the massive hives I have from a bad reaction to some medication.0 -
Because having lost 133 pounds and logging on for 740 consecutive days, I know that deprivation leads to binging and giving up, while occasional indulgences - such as cake on your birthday and fair treats during the state fair once per summer - leads to a sustainable, balanced lifestyle one can easily maintaining.
As for cardio, for me exercise isn't a punishment for eating. I'd never suggest someone use it in that way.
I've seen a lot of people with hyper-restrictive diets who refuse to eat their birthday cake (I'd rather have fruit! Promise! For real!) and bring apples to the ball game instead of planning a day that involves beer and a hot dog. Notice I used the past sense...most of these people have long been unfriended because they stopped logging in.
The people on my friends list with incredible losses they're actually maintaining, on the other hand, enjoy treats as part of an overall healthy diet. We weigh our options (I do not eat storebought cake for others' birthdays or crappy donuts dropped off by a vendor) but I'm not into deprivation.
Long-term is what I care about.
I agree with everything said here. Congrats on the 2 year streak by the way0 -
Why when someone posts a topic asking for help turning a birthday treat down or asking for any advice on how to stay within their calorie goals do people comment that "one day won't hurt you" and "go ahead and indulge it won't kill you"
They posted a topic for advice on something and those people are totally going against what the OP was asking for.
Why not offer encouraging things like "do some extra cardio in the morning if you really want to eat a sweet treat" or bring some snacks with you to have later so you arn't tempted to buy the fattening food"
We are all here (or should be) for the same purpose. Why would you encourage someone to eat calorie filled foods when they are specifically asking for help to stay away from them?
I might get a lot of crap for this but I am honesly just curious.
Because for long term success, people truly need to view this as "lifestyle"...I'm not talking about counting calories being a "lifestyle"...I'm talking about their overall diet (noun) and fitness regimen. As part of a "lifestyle" you don't need to go and do a bunch of extra cardio to burn off the hotdog you ate earlier...in fact, that borders on and can lead to some really disordered thinking and seriously bad relationships with food and fitness.
People say they're practicing a new "lifestyle" but they're really not. They're getting wrapped up in the minutia of one day...one day of many, many, many days when you consider an entire lifetime. Some of us like to point that out because ultimately...long term and sustained success is really and truly about adopting a dietary and fitness "lifestyle" that is sustainable. Abstaining from cake or hot dogs or whatever is generally not viewed as sustainable...unless you're weird. That's just deprivation...when you practice deprivation dieting...most of the time those people just put the weight back on, because they never really learned how to eat, what to eat, and the fact that you can enjoy many things in life so long as it's done in moderation.0 -
Because having lost 133 pounds and logging on for 740 consecutive days, I know that deprivation leads to binging and giving up, while occasional indulgences - such as cake on your birthday and fair treats during the state fair once per summer - leads to a sustainable, balanced lifestyle one can easily maintaining.
As for cardio, for me exercise isn't a punishment for eating. I'd never suggest someone use it in that way.
I've seen a lot of people with hyper-restrictive diets who refuse to eat their birthday cake (I'd rather have fruit! Promise! For real!) and bring apples to the ball game instead of planning a day that involves beer and a hot dog. Notice I used the past sense...most of these people have long been unfriended because they stopped logging in.
The people on my friends list with incredible losses they're actually maintaining, on the other hand, enjoy treats as part of an overall healthy diet. We weigh our options (I do not eat storebought cake for others' birthdays or crappy donuts dropped off by a vendor) but I'm not into deprivation.
Long-term is what I care about.
I agree with everything said here. Congrats on the 2 year streak by the way
Congrats on your amazing loss too!0 -
Because by posting for advice, you are actually asking others how they would approach it and for many of us, allowing the treat for a special occasion is how. They might phrase the reply as "you should" but it is really "I would". That is how forum advice works.0
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I am a big guy so I get a good amount of calories to begin with. I have found that if I control breakfast and lunch that most days I have enough calories to basically eat anything I want for dinner. I know this approach won't work for everyone but if you are up around 17,1800 calories you could probably do that also.0
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I am facing a similar situation. I am leaving for a cruise in just under 60 days and I am doing really well with my weight loss and exercise. I have decided I will eat a normal breakfast & lunch and then allow myself what I want for dinner. I figure it is 10 days out of 365 days and I want to have happy memories, not come back feeling sour because of all the things "I couldn't have". I will also continue doing my walking and strength training while I am away.0
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Why when someone posts a topic asking for help turning a birthday treat down or asking for any advice on how to stay within their calorie goals do people comment that "one day won't hurt you" and "go ahead and indulge it won't kill you"
Because one day eating outside of your calories won't hurt you.
Just like you can't get healthy/fit in one day.0 -
Because some people don't understand how a single lapse can lead to binge eating.
Because food is associated with so many things that are not food...there are cultural and personal meanings that affect the way you approach eating.0 -
A lot of people here really like to talk about the food they want to eat. The advice for almost anything will be "EAT IT!!!" Or "PUT A BACON AND CHEESE ON IT!!!"
If someone came to these forums and asked "should I eat.." about each meal individually for a year, that person would gain at least 100 pounds.
But the entire point of the app is to track and eat in moderation. So don't be the idiot asking a bunch of hungry people "should I eat.." on the internet. Eat it or don't. Up to you.0 -
I agree. I"ll have 2nds (or desert or a beer), one day a week, because I know if I deny all that stuff, one day soon I'll have three PBJs, 10 cookies or most of an apple pie. I am strict the other six days a week.
Probably how I FINALLY lost the 30 lbs I've tried to loose for the last 30 years. LMBO!0 -
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Because some people don't understand how a single lapse can lead to binge eating.
Because food is associated with so many things that are not food...there are cultural and personal meanings that affect the way you approach eating.
Cause no one else on here could possibly have had the same issues/associations with food, so they should just smile, nod, and tell people what they wanna hear.
Got it.0 -
I guess one other thing is this. For me, my goals are not a destination. They are simply a target. It is a life target. If I cannot incorporate a piece of birthday cake once in a while, then the whole thing is total bullsh*t. Birthday cake is a symbol of a celebration of life. You need to learn how to be happy and enjoy things like that in your life.
Very well put...0 -
I am facing a similar situation. I am leaving for a cruise in just under 60 days and I am doing really well with my weight loss and exercise. I have decided I will eat a normal breakfast & lunch and then allow myself what I want for dinner. I figure it is 10 days out of 365 days and I want to have happy memories, not come back feeling sour because of all the things "I couldn't have". I will also continue doing my walking and strength training while I am away.
Completely off topic, but the last cruises I've gone on I have managed to not gain weight by doing shore excursions that are extremely active and *always* taking the stairs. If you are on a big ship, that can amount to hundreds of steps a day as you go down to the shore excursion, up to the room, up further to eat, down to watch a show, etc. I don't do stair master workouts normally, so I wasn't used to the stairs and found it an easy way to keep active!0 -
I think that it depends on where you are with it. For someone that is an emotional or binge eater and is just now feeling a sense of control, one piece of cake is enough to throw off that delicate balance. I know that I can't eat at pitch-ins for work. I can't do it. It triggers bad, bad things in my brain. I live my life, I go on vacation and gain 5 lbs in wine, I go to a ball game and I eat a hot dog, but I CANNOT eat at the office pitch-in. The emotion and psychological side of all of this (for those of us that were morbidly obese at one time) is key in long term success. If you're a person that doesn't have those issues, then your experience will be different.
That said, when you ask the public for advice on handling a situation, you have to realize that some suggestions aren't going to be what you need to do. You have to know yourself and what you need and be willing to put that first.0 -
Not everyone is here for the same reason.Why when someone posts a topic asking for help turning a birthday treat down or asking for any advice on how to stay within their calorie goals do people comment that "one day won't hurt you" and "go ahead and indulge it won't kill you"
They posted a topic for advice on something and those people are totally going against what the OP was asking for.
Why not offer encouraging things like "do some extra cardio in the morning if you really want to eat a sweet treat" or bring some snacks with you to have later so you arn't tempted to buy the fattening food"
We are all here (or should be) for the same purpose. Why would you encourage someone to eat calorie filled foods when they are specifically asking for help to stay away from them?
I might get a lot of crap for this but I am honesly just curious.
I'm here, at least partly, to try to develop a healthier relationship with food. For me, it has been important to learn that one treat, one meal, one day etc really doesn't hurt. It's never that one day that makes someone fat, or stops someone losing weight. It's how you eat most of the time that determines your success, or lack thereof.
In my opinion, only allowing yourself to "indulge" in eating some food that you like, or a special birthday treat, if you've done the required amount of cardio, doesn't encourage a healthy relationship with food or exercise. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with exercising with the intention of burning calories, to allow more room for food. I do that sometimes. I just don't like the thought of exercise as punishment for eating "bad food", or exercise as a condition for "letting" yourself eat the food you like. It's a subtle difference, but I don't like the implication that you can only have your birthday treat if you've done your duty and exercised first.
Food is just food. It's not bad. Calories aren't bad. Food isn't "fattening" unless you eat too much of it. I think that's really the approach people are going for with that kind of advice.
Of course, there are people who are quite happy to permanently give up those kinds of foods, but they're not usually the ones asking for help in turning it down.0 -
No one's asking that though. If someone came on and said "I really want to eat more than my calorie goal every single day" they wouldn't get the same advice. The point about these posts is that it is one day. It's a birthday, or a holiday, it amounts probably a handful of days over the year. It's about how to handle balancing weight loss goals with everyday life.
If someone came to these forums and asked "should I eat.." about each meal individually for a year, that person would gain at least 100 pounds.
Contrary to popular opinion, not everyone on here is always hungry.But the entire point of the app is to track and eat in moderation. So don't be the idiot asking a bunch of hungry people "should I eat.." on the internet. Eat it or don't. Up to you.
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