I feel weird.

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Replies

  • Squamation
    Squamation Posts: 522 Member
    These are more questions for you to think about and ask yourself- they're highly personal and so I don't expect you to answer them here but you might find them useful.

    Did something bad happen to you when you were at a smaller weight? Or to someone who was close to you? Were you in any kind of negative relationship?

    Someone who is close to me realized recently that they were scared to be smaller because when they were smaller bad things happened to them. Then they gained weight and the relationship ended and they were "safe". They kept the weight on unconsciously to stay "safe" from being hurt again.

    I hope you figure it out, and that you can find acceptance with your new body. Don't be afraid to talk to someone (counselor, or friend) if it gets too much.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Your mind is crazy.

    But in all honesty, I've been there. I'm still there at times. I used to hold my bloated, tubby tummy as a security blanket. Now I find my hands rest on my stomach at night because I'm still 'freaked out' about how different it is. Like I have to touch it just to make sure it's real?

    I still don't feel like me. I'm waiting to reach the magical 'right weight' or dye my hair the right color or tan just the right amount or SOMETHING to match my insides and outsides and I wonder if it's just going to take time to get used to...like, we spent so much of our lives seeing ourselves one way, maybe this is no different.

    Way to make me think this early in the morning. T_T

    /passes the coffee
    :drinker: me too, coffee while reading this. I call it my "Diet OG decaf" and it's in the food journals it's just coffee or decaf with nothing but Original Coffee Mate not the healthiest but I figured no sweetener leaves me cals for other stuff, and saves my artificial sweetener for diet coke treats.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Perhaps we do hide behind our weight? Now you are out there for everyone to see the REAL you, the person you have been trying to find all this time! With our weight we imagine if we lose it that we will be beautiful, perfect, capable and our lives will change, we will be permanently happy, glowing everybody will admire us even our lifestyles and home life will be just fantastic! The aim to achieve all that is very consuming and now your focus is changing. The reality is actually we are still the same person with the same problems that we always thought would go away when achieving goal. Maybe that is scary, making you feel vulnerable nowhere to hide. You have done so well just give yourself time to accept where you are. :-)

    I just wanna re quote this quote from Moss11
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Just a suggestion:

    Take some new pictures of yourself (with your family or friends) and put them on your desk at work (or somewhere where you will see them doften). You'll see them every day, and after a while you will be so used to them that you will no longer feel strange when you see yourself in them - reset your idea of what you do/should look like.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    strangely I know what you mean..though I have a wierd quirk to throw in...With the stress of the past few months I've put 10lbs back on from last summer...and I feel betrayed by the leaner self. Like she's too good for me...and tricked me into thinking she was around for good.

    I don't with the scary future and decisions facing me my mind is doing all kinds of weird *kitten* stuff to me....sorta like an episode of twilight zone.

    I always hated that song...now that is going through my mind too..ugh.
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    I think I this is pretty normal for women. I am probably the only girl who doesn't have this effect. I LOVE seeing myself get skinnier. The whole ribs I have never seen before is weird, but I kinda like it. My sister, on the other hand, suffers from what is called "body dysmorphic disorder" which is where you don't see yourself correctly in the mirror. Although she has lost over 50 pounds (she was my inspiration), she still sees that overweight girl in the mirror. Even though she is lookin foxy and has a great body, she still thinks she is fat (she is not). I know this isn't your exact issue, but you see yourself as looking frail or too skinny, when really you are probably stronger than ever. You just have to give yourself positive self talk "I am beautiful. I love my body. I am healthy. I am strong. This is what I want", etc... and say those things to yourself (out loud) every day looking in the mirror, and in time it will go away. If you are feeling insecure, you may want to talk to a friend or family member about it, someone supportive. And if that doesn't work, you may want to talk to a professional. I hope you start liking what you are doing. You are beautiful.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
    A lot of people do not see themselves as they are - i've read about people with anorexia - they are often skeletal, but this one lady said she saw herself as fat when she had a very very extremely bony figure. she definitely was not fat.

    i have felt what you felt before when i was thinner and losing weight.. it does make you sometimes feel like your losing a part of you, the part thats been with you all this time..
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

    It might take a while, but this will pass. And also I do think that when a person loses weight it can bring up emotional issues that may need some healing. Let me know if you want to talk at all. Maybe there's a book that could help you?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    A lot of people do not see themselves as they are - i've read about people with anorexia - they are often skeletal, but this one lady said she saw herself as fat when she had a very very extremely bony figure. she definitely was not fat.

    i have felt what you felt before when i was thinner and losing weight.. it does make you sometimes feel like your losing a part of you, the part thats been with you all this time..

    I think often the issue with anorexia is not that they see an overweight person, but that they have a type of tunnel vision in which they zero in on one or a couple parts of the body and the small amount of normal fat that they see becomes bigger in their mind and they become obsessed with not having any fat. Even when the fat is gone, they still remember and see where it was and have trouble not seeing it anymore and feel fear of it coming back.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    I would recommend less mind-altering substances...but what fun would that be?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

    It might take a while, but this will pass. And also I do think that when a person loses weight it can bring up emotional issues that may need some healing. Let me know if you want to talk at all. Maybe there's a book that could help you?

    Someone actually offered me a book suggestion that I took. I'll get it soon. Thanks YOU! I'll message you if I think I need it if the wait it out approach or the book don't do it.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I would recommend less mind-altering substances...but what fun would that be?

    :laugh: by the way everytime I see your username my mind goes "la la. la la laaaaaa"
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Just a suggestion:

    Take some new pictures of yourself (with your family or friends) and put them on your desk at work (or somewhere where you will see them doften). You'll see them every day, and after a while you will be so used to them that you will no longer feel strange when you see yourself in them - reset your idea of what you do/should look like.

    I love this idea but I'm gonna try to power thru this phase and just avoid mirrors like a vampire while in progress. Then I'll take and tape up those pics when i get to goal weight. I don't have a desk job so they will just go up all over the house when everyone leaves for the day and come back down when everyone gets back. Also pics in my compacts in place of the mirrors and car shade thingies and cell phone display and screen saver. Maybe in a locket. Just for a month or two till it gets thru my thick head. And I get sick of myself. :laugh:
  • louiselebeau
    louiselebeau Posts: 220 Member


    Maybe you *should* use your own photo instead of the avatar and stop hiding. Embrace the new you!

    ^^this^^
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    I totally get what you are saying. Without making going into huge detail, I worked really hard on being more open. I used to be really closed off and not very emotionally available to people. I was always kind of on the defensive waiting for an attack, keeping people at arms length. So I worked hard on this and have much deeper friendships with people now.

    Well, recently I've noticed a few women giving me stink-eye and have gotten a few catty weight related comments from people I thought were friends. Then I noticed I was falling back into that old defensive, bracing for an attack kind of pattern. I have to sort of check on myself and make myself relax and realize that people like that are going to be around and I don't have to live my life to make them comfortable. They're always going to find something in others to pick apart. It's what they do and it actually has very little to do with me.

    It's a hard adjustment to make.
  • podgeford123
    podgeford123 Posts: 29
    It'll pass.

    Total "man" answer - I like it ;-)
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
    I think many of us use our fat as armour against the world.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    It'll pass.

    Total "man" answer - I like it ;-)

    Yeah, honestly the minute I saw that one I was like...I'm good. And went away for awhile. Then I came back and appreciated the elaboration and experience and generosity of others.

    But really player had me at "It'll pass."
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    I still feel tubby all the time, even though I haven't really been for years. Even when I got way too skinny, I felt like I was an elephant. I think so much of it comes with that whole self-worth thing that seems to be completely foreign to me. My family and friends are even worried I'm 'taking things too far' - but for now, I am focusing on my strength training and endurance and improving my asthma, rather than my weight these days. I'm starting to transition into maintenance in August - but I am not going to give up on being strong and healthy and kicking butt in my workouts. :D
  • PanaMericann
    PanaMericann Posts: 47 Member
    I don't recognize myself anymore. I get treated differently (better) but I still feel the same way I did 40 pounds ago. I guess I can relate to what you're going through. It's just a very sudden change and I'm not used to it.
    I guess I still see the same person I did when I was overweight, except everyone around me sees someone different. I like that I'm thinner but my mind isn't embracing the change yet.
  • JTutz
    JTutz Posts: 69 Member
    It sounds similar to when I'd gotten a new, radically different haircut once & whenever I'd catch a glimpse of my reflection I'd have a split second of "who dafuq??" Your head just needs a minute to catch up with your body.

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