The not-so-secret secret to a happy marriage

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Replies

  • wiffe
    wiffe Posts: 224 Member
    OP that is not necessarily true. I've never ever turned my H down and always willing yet he still chose to go else where.
  • bbbgamer
    bbbgamer Posts: 582 Member
    so... if I have small kids, do I wait or not then??
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
    (I'd advise never put relationship issues on the internet and overall, don't get other people "involved" in your relationship unless it is a marriage counselor. The only exceptions would be circumstances like abuse, of course.)

    I agree with the poster who posted the above. After 45 years of happy marriage I have to wonder about anyone in a relationship giving marriage advice to others. I certainly do not feel qualified.

    To blame a woman for her husband seeking sex outside the marriage is insane in my opinion. Like giving him sex will stop that....NOT.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    To blame a woman for her husband seeking sex outside the marriage is insane in my opinion. Like giving him sex will stop that....NOT.


    This is so true, some people just stray and don't take their vows seriously, or just like to live dangerously... or whatever the many reasons may be. To blame that on the spouse sounds like an article from a 1950s Playboy magazine. Just justification for their own bad behaviors, and just what a straying spouse wants to hear "it's not my fault".
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    I got nothing..ha! happily divorced for 8 years...true story.
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    I think that it is important to fight fair.....no name calling or things you cannot take back....

    Dont sweat the small stuff that causes fights....most of it wont even matter a year from now or less....

    And just because you do have a fight...DO NOT with hold sex. Why punish yourself .....sometimes that makes for the best sex.

    I am going to second the above tips and also say that the OP sounds like just a bit of a know it all. What an odd string of assumptions and generalizations.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    there are some really good posts in this thread. some true words of wisdom.

    ...but the OP's post? my eyes nearly rolled right out of my head. what a load of twaddle!
  • jamielynas
    jamielynas Posts: 366 Member
    food, food is the secret to a happy anything
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    Don't get married if you don't want to, and don't marry someone you can't see yourself with forever. Mystery solved. 5 bucks plz

    inb4 flagged for advertising again
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    food, food is the secret to a happy anything

    Sorry but my huband will be having to deal with sex too.. and tons of food then more sex. After 31 years I have it all under control most of the time and when I don't I complain or tie him up.
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 862 Member

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    This is really all.. oh and

    Respect each others likes/dislikes. Support each other and make things work when things get rough.
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
    DON'T KEEP SCORE!


    Whether it is what you do and they don't , what you think they should do, what you think you do that they don't appreciate, that they messed up in some way, that you messed up in some way

    Keeping score makes everyone miserable and causes you to hold onto negative feelings, just dont do it!!!
  • spud_chick
    spud_chick Posts: 2,640 Member
    Definitely not a one-size-fits-all type of situation. Obviously being physical is natural in a relationship. I just let my wife know that I'm in the mood and whether she wants to or not doesn't bother me. Having a three year-old, I understand when my wife is tired, worn from a whole day of keeping a kiddo entertained while I'm at work, or just simply not in the mood. We communicate these things and if we're not engaging a lot during spurts, I don't let it bother me. I said, "I do", and meant it. I love her and love triumphs urges I can suppress or take care of on my own if needed. I'd never stray even if it were that bad. When it reaches unbarable levels, I'll let her know. Same goes on the flip side. I'm happy overall just trying to make her happy in every capacity.

    What a good guy!!!!

    Indeed! To be quite frank I wish my husband was a helluva lot more like him.
  • spud_chick
    spud_chick Posts: 2,640 Member
    Don't get married if you don't want to, and don't marry someone you can't see yourself with forever. Mystery solved. 5 bucks plz

    inb4 flagged for advertising again

    Good advice. I would add not to get married until you have lived with the person for a while or at minimum been together for a few years so you already know what it's like to be with them when the infatuation stage wears off. That's why so many marriages fail early, they think the partner changed when it was just the hormones wearing off and changing. "Turns out only my naughty bits really liked you! Oh well."

    And it helps if you're old/mature enough to know who you really are and what you want out of life first.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    People change after marriage, therefore I will never get married. As for sex, if you think your cutting me off...your really just losing your place in line.

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