Remarks others have made about your weight...
jantawa
Posts: 182 Member
Well, let's see...one time was in the hospital and I had the mother of the person in the semi-private room with me, stop and say "You know, sometimes food can be your enemy". I was completely taken aback, somehow having people who are complete strangers to you making remarks just totally freaked me out.
I am an ex-smoker and very proud of the fact that I was able to kick a 22-year habit (which is another reason, in addition to pregnancies, etc. that I managed to tack on so much weight onto a not too thin body to begin with). A very thin doctor once told me "Maybe you should start smoking again". What????
And I suppose the pièce de résistance \, where they didn't exactly mention weight but it had to do with it, was back when I was working (which was prior to my having two strokes and becoming disabled)...I had a wedding picture of me and my husband on my desk, and a woman stopped to look at it and said "Oh, is this you when you used to be pretty?"
Now, what remarks do you remember?
I am an ex-smoker and very proud of the fact that I was able to kick a 22-year habit (which is another reason, in addition to pregnancies, etc. that I managed to tack on so much weight onto a not too thin body to begin with). A very thin doctor once told me "Maybe you should start smoking again". What????
And I suppose the pièce de résistance \, where they didn't exactly mention weight but it had to do with it, was back when I was working (which was prior to my having two strokes and becoming disabled)...I had a wedding picture of me and my husband on my desk, and a woman stopped to look at it and said "Oh, is this you when you used to be pretty?"
Now, what remarks do you remember?
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Replies
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ouch................sheese with friends like that, who really needs enemies
my aunt angela who I have been lucky enough not to have seen for about 2 years, and , as usual at a funeral of a relative, asked me............."Lloyd, hun.,,,,,,,,,,are you ill"?
Then she goes behind my back and asks my sister, " Has the doctor given him any certain amount of time, now that hes competing with Shamu , Linda?"
Family, dont you just love em..........0 -
Who says its just kids that can be cruel?! I can't believe a DOCTOR told you to start smoking again ... that's insane. and Lloyd, just wait till you show them your progress ... then you can tell them to shove off.
I am having the opposite issue: None of my friends see where I need to lose weight. My issue is I gain evenly so even at 180 lbs most people don't know I am this heavy. I am not at my heaviest though. I think I must've tipped the scales at 200 at some point because I remember having to buy size 16 pants. I am in a size 12 right now and they began to get tight, which is why I am watching my calories.
Friends: "Karen, no way, you look hot you don't need to lose any weight"
Mom: "Don't forget to eat" or (my favorite) "Don't lose too much weight"0 -
That Aunt is so bad how could you face the facts and even return and talk with her. Yes, I have fears as my dad passed away in May and had Diabetes Mellitus, and you may ask ""What is that, it is where the sickness diabetes actually controls your legs and arms, every function of your body, and you have and become like a vegetable or simply no movement at all in your arms and legs, bladder is controlled and kidneys is also malfunctioned, diabetes controls everything in your body. You still have time to deal with your body before diabetes controls your body, Do it as I am fighting to lose weight, and not let hypothyroidism control me I control it. I hope this helps.0
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From a random male stranger... "Congratulations! When are you due?"0
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I know Lloyd that really stings...I can feel the burn from here. What got me the most is that the remarks made to me were from complete strangers. Since when is it OK to take pot shots at people just because they are fat.
On the family side, at my grandmother's funeral way back when, I saw my father (who had been separated from my mother) for the first time in a long time, and the first words out of his mouth were not "Hello" "How are you?" "I love you" but "Gee, you could stand to lose about 10 pounds"...I remember going outside and crying, and having people think that I was crying because I was overwhelmed with grief about my grandmother. And truth is back then, I really did only need to lose 10 pounds...if he could see me now, he would probably roll over in his grave.0 -
My family constantly makes comments to me. I'm 5'11 and I currently weigh around 185lbs. I'm not light, but i'm not extremely heavy either, however, my insanely skinny family thinks i'm seriously obese. I had twins nearly 2 years ago and have been struggling since. My family constantly makes comments such as "Well so and so had twins & she got right to the gym after, you can't even tell she had one kid let alone two" and "wow, girls nowadays just let themselves go after kids, they never lose the weight, they just stay fat" and whenever I comment on my pregnant friend & say "wow, she's insanely big (meaning pregnant) she's going to have a hard time getting that weight off (speaking from experience)" and my family will say "oh no she wont. She'll actually go to the gym & lose the weight right away"
things like that, super annoying. My grandmother has asked me a few times now "so how much DO you weigh now?"
and
an ex-bf of mine (was terribly thin while dating him) said to me "i like my b*tches with eating disorders" and then proceeded to tell me that "if he was me, he'd get on a treadmill" ....
gotta love people
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I think my "favorite" comment came from my ex-husband, before he was my ex. We were in bed talking about our day and I said something about being tired because my feet had hit the floor at 6am and I had not stopped til 10pm to drop into bed. He turned to me and said, "why were you up at 6am? Was the donut truck coming?"
Yes, good times.0 -
I feel your pain...my "hometown" doctor once told me "you'd be beautiful if you'd lose weight". Like cuz I'm on the heavier side I'm ugly. What the heck is up with some of these doctors. It's not like there all thin and atrractive. Geesh.0
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yeah, it's the ones closest to us that say the most hurtful things. My dad used to always call me "hippo hips, thunder thighs, and big butt bertha" as a kid. I know in my heart it was never meant to be hurtful and to him it was a joke. I always laughed it off myself and never was mad at him for it. I think it contributed greatly to my poor self image, however. Even prior to having kids (I was 5'3" & 130lbs.) I always thought I was fat and wouldn't wear shorts on even the hottest summer day.0
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TVVILLA, its ok..........but I ve got to tell ya , thats the closest I have ever come to shoving her in the casket and slamming it shut,lol, but I would nt want poor Cousin Louie to spend eternity with the old dame........
Shes never been one to hold her tongue, lol........we just love her to death, yes we do....literally
Thats kinda why I stopped the funeral / wedding thing.........got tired of all the comments, such as " he used to be so handsome", or comments like, " wow ,he got so old looking, does anyone know just how bad it is, and is it in our family genes"?
Trust me, look up dysfunctional families in the dictionary, and there is my entire family tree............
But next funeral, Ill be there with bells on and waiting for dear sweet Aunt Angela, now that I ve dropped 88 pounds since the last wake.....:)
Thanks for the nice compliments guys..........you really do help in my journey for weight loss Ill be rooting for you too......Lloyd0 -
Yeah, you tell em Lloyd!! We are all in this together, which will make us all an unstoppable force to reckon with:)0
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I hate the comments people make before you were overweight the most. Just before I got married I had bought some pants that were size 5. My mother said they made me look fat. When I was looking for a wedding dress she said it was too bad I couldn't fit into a formal dress I had fit into as a teen. At that time I was totally flat and looked like a girl not the woman I had become. It was a 6 or something. It sounded sick to me. I look back at myself after my second child and realize I was not overweight. I just thought I was. If only I was that size now!0
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I went for an interview once for a secretary job and the guy looked me up and down and said hmmm i dont think you are right for what i am looking for, but let me think how i can help you...maybe if i bought you some trainers and told you to run around the block a few times that would help you lose some weight....i was so shocked... i just said thank you for interviewing me and left the building. I came out onto the street and cried my eyes out. I was 200lbs at the time, but didnt look too big to work as a secretary...still hurts now, the only justice is that i now have an amazing job much better than working for him.
I have many others, my younger thin sister saying 'you are a bit fat though aren't you' my grandmother asking where my waist has gone, a shop assistant saying to me when i asked for the petite section, 'you will never be petite dear' i could go on..the countless times people have offered me a seat thinking i'm pregnant (that is the worst for some reason).
All these things made me eat, ironically. Not anymore 0 -
Back in the day when I was listed on a singles site...."you are just a bit...ok, a lot... too much for me". My reply was along the line... my problem can be fixed, your ignorancey can't. But I wasn't quiiiite as nice.0
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Yep know what you all mean. After the birth of my second child I was so proud that I was actually loseing the 'baby' weight that I made a comment in front of my dad on loseing the weight faster this time around. His reply lose 50 more and I will buy you an outfit if you think that you can not outgrow it in a week. Then when I got married in June it was hot, hot, hot and I had the most beautiful dress picked out, sleeveless, fitted and could not wait to try it on for my mom MISTAKE she automatically said well I think it is a pretty dress but maybe on someone else , your arms are to big, your waist is too wide and it makes your hips huge. So on that HOT day in june I was married in a dress that had full sleeves puffy at the hips and was ugly I still cry 13 years later when I see our wedding pictures. My special day was ruined and the worst is that I was actually smaller then than I was in highschool. Need less to say by decmber that year I had gained about 40 pounds and I was so use to the loving family remarks that I just let it get out of control until I had put on 100 pounds. So here I am praying that this will help, oh please let this site help!!0
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My family constantly makes comments to me. I'm 5'11 and I currently weigh around 185lbs. I'm not light, but i'm not extremely heavy either, however, my insanely skinny family thinks i'm seriously obese. I had twins nearly 2 years ago and have been struggling since. My family constantly makes comments such as "Well so and so had twins & she got right to the gym after, you can't even tell she had one kid let alone two" and "wow, girls nowadays just let themselves go after kids, they never lose the weight, they just stay fat" and whenever I comment on my pregnant friend & say "wow, she's insanely big (meaning pregnant) she's going to have a hard time getting that weight off (speaking from experience)" and my family will say "oh no she wont. She'll actually go to the gym & lose the weight right away"
things like that, super annoying. My grandmother has asked me a few times now "so how much DO you weigh now?"
and
an ex-bf of mine (was terribly thin while dating him) said to me "i like my b*tches with eating disorders" and then proceeded to tell me that "if he was me, he'd get on a treadmill" ....
gotta love people
Wow, I'm 5' 8" and tipped at 180 last week ... you are so much taller then me. Your family is nutty and that ex ... well there IS a reason they are exs LOL0 -
I had a sales person at Victoria Secret say to me "You must be here to buy a present because I don't think we have your size." And another sales person at Target tell me "You're a big girl so you can pull off big necklaces." It never ceases to amaze what people think it's ok to say.0
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My family constantly makes comments to me. I'm 5'11 and I currently weigh around 185lbs. I'm not light, but i'm not extremely heavy either, however, my insanely skinny family thinks i'm seriously obese. I had twins nearly 2 years ago and have been struggling since. My family constantly makes comments such as "Well so and so had twins & she got right to the gym after, you can't even tell she had one kid let alone two" and "wow, girls nowadays just let themselves go after kids, they never lose the weight, they just stay fat" and whenever I comment on my pregnant friend & say "wow, she's insanely big (meaning pregnant) she's going to have a hard time getting that weight off (speaking from experience)" and my family will say "oh no she wont. She'll actually go to the gym & lose the weight right away"
things like that, super annoying. My grandmother has asked me a few times now "so how much DO you weigh now?"
and
an ex-bf of mine (was terribly thin while dating him) said to me "i like my b*tches with eating disorders" and then proceeded to tell me that "if he was me, he'd get on a treadmill" ....
gotta love people
Sorry, but your "loved ones" SUCK! I think if I were you, I'd be disowned for punching them in the mouth so many times for their crappy remarks.0 -
I feel your pain...my "hometown" doctor once told me "you'd be beautiful if you'd lose weight". Like cuz I'm on the heavier side I'm ugly. What the heck is up with some of these doctors. It's not like there all thin and atrractive. Geesh.
I know some larger gals that are actually attractive, even though they are "fluffy." My husband is 260 lbs, and I LOVE him at his weight. He's comfy!0 -
After I had my son, a patient asked me where I'd been. I explained that I was on Maternity leave. She said, "Oh, I didn't know you were pregnant....I just thought you had let yourself go." HMMMMM....what to say to that
Then I had another patient a few months ago, ask me if I was pregnant. I said, "Nope....just fat". His mouth dropped open, and he had nothing else to say after that....OBVIOUSLY.
So I'm not loosing weight so the questions and comments stop, but it sure will help!!0 -
From a random male stranger... "Congratulations! When are you due?"
I have had this one too - I say 11 months :noway:0 -
awe
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"you pregnant?"
"no."
"my bad" and walks away
:grumble:
-alison0 -
i think the one i've heard more than a few times is someone assuming that i'm big because i've had kids. "so how many kids do you have?" "none" then i get look up and down and they say "really?"..... very irritating0
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I had a similar pregnant comment way back in elementary school... 2 of my good friends back then were very very thin, and I was def the chubby one. One day, one by one, we stuck out stomachs out in front of some boys in the class and asked if we looked pregnant.. They said no to my friends, but yes to me... That has stuck with me til now (i'm 27), and even still I think about that and feel horrible about myself. So here's to not looking pregnant, and getting over negative body image! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
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I just thought of another rather nasty comment when I was a teenager (and this was back when I weighed around 140-45 and I'm 5'9"). I had cut my knee rather badly and when it healed it had a lot of scar tissue. My mother had asked the doctor if that could be removed....(she later told me) that he said "with legs like that, why bother". If people only realized how words can wound you just like a knife, and how very long they seem to be burned into your memory (but on the other hand, people like that, probably don't really care).0
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I saw my aunt today after 1.5 months and I asked her if I looked like I had lost weight, before she could say yes my mom HAD to cut in "uh calm down it's only 15 pounds you have A LOT more to lose" um yeah and I wasnt talking to you lol. I love my mom and we get along like that but it still kinda hurts my feelings so I made sure I let her know.0
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I'd managed to lose around 2 stone in weight and someone who i used to class as a friend and had gradually put on quite a lot of weight (from around a UK size 10 to a UK size 14/16 mainly around the stomach) said to me that we had similar figures. I wanted to cry if i'm honest, felt like the weight i'd lost was completely pointless. Luckily the rest of my friends and my boyfriend were all really supportive 0
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Reading all your comments is actually helping me get my determination back! People are so stupid at times!
I have this colleague, whose moron of a husband too works in the same company though a different team. Once we had a celebration in office and there was a huge cake. And people had formed a line to get the cake which extended through the door. So I was standing in the line just to get in, and didn't want the cake. So this guy is standing there with his wife, and passes a remark "So... you must want a biiig piece of cake, right! hee hee hee".
And I felt like blasting him right there! Just wish I had! :mad:0 -
I've had pleanty of comments, I can't really pull anything specific to mind. The kids around here are all very outspoken so you just have to learn to "get over it" pretty quickly or you just wouldn't be able to function.
However one incident comes to mind regarding my mother and granny. My dear Granny was one of those poor kids who contracted Polio from a Diptheria inoculation when she was only 2 years old and after having had to have various muscles removed from her right leg, it is much weaker and much shorter than her good leg. What's more, the polio weakened her muscles all over her body. Well her bad leg was quite inflamed and painful once so my mum took her to see the doctor. It's been a recurring problem (though thankfully not so frequently that it causes any constant kind of issue) and he said she really should loose some weight as she had quite poor circulation in this leg and it was just exacerbating the problem. She pointed out that she had been on a near constant diet for years because she couldn't exercise: she can't even move her arms very much due to muscle weakness let alone walk very far, and if we take her on family outings it has to be with the wheel chair. It's not just the bad leg, her whole body just cannot cope as well as it used to.
So does he offer her any encouragement or give her any advice on how she can otherwise get some exercise?
No he doesn't. Instead, he turns to my mum (who is genuinely just a big woman) and says "And what's YOUR excuse?"
Apparently my mum and Gran just sat there in stunned silence, but I can tell you now my dad was down the next day putting in a formal complaint, and he wasn't seen around there for very much longer (say what you like about the NHS, but it will deal with troublesome self important GP's when they cross the line). I get the feeling he had ticked off a few patients...my own experience with him hadn't exactly been fantastic...when I asked for the contraceptive implant because I'd read that the pill I was on was dangerous for someone who suffered focal migraines as I do, he scoffed and told me "that's for stupid council estate girls who can't remember to take their pill every day, you're not one of THOSE girls are you? You're on a completely adequate method of birth control."
Thus failing to answer my question or concerns at all and rather inappropriate anyway since I was a 16 year old virgin and using it for completely none birth control reasons ¬_¬
You know what the stupid thing is though? He was probably one of THE fattest men I've ever seen...0
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