Quick tips on how NOT to sabotage your girlfriend

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13

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  • DreaMuffin
    DreaMuffin Posts: 63 Member
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    Exactly!

    Oh and this....

    Just because it's HOT.

    tumblr_mh41ooZR1p1rxb258o2_500.gif

    in for the giggle.
    Lurking for this! *fans self* :love:
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
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    Men get confused easily so I decided to make a small list of things we can do to not sabotage our girlfriends diets

    - Anytime she finds your secret stash of cheese or meat or cheetos or chocolate or anything that a human should be eating, smack her (and not in a fun way, feel free to go all Cris Brown on her or you're not being supportive) and tell her "NO!" And then grab some oatmeal and salad and shove it down her throat. You're marriage material if you make "Moo. Moooo!" sounds while feeding her salad

    - Don't eat in front of her. Or drink. Or breath. Why are you even near her? Get the hell away from her man. What do you think she is... your girlfriend?

    - Anytime she is on her diet kick, it is your responsibility to throw out all of your lifestyle, your own diet and workouts and devote all of your focus, energy and money towards her. She's worth it. You aren't. Remember that you worthless male species.

    Feel free to add some more. I am a man after all and probably didn't get them all.


    You can always hose her down and yell bad girlfriend when she begs for "bad" foods as well.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    You are a genius
  • Zaniejane
    Zaniejane Posts: 329 Member
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    Funny thread:)
  • EnviousDan
    EnviousDan Posts: 107 Member
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    You really should address the age old question Do I look fat in this?

    The answer is always "of course not!" followed by the crippling fear of knowing that there is no true right answer. Just prepare for the rage.
  • RunningForeverMama
    RunningForeverMama Posts: 261 Member
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    Q. Does this dress make me look like I have a big bum?
    A. No, the fact that you're fat makes it look like you have a big bum. The dress has nothing to do with it.
    You really should address the age old question Do I look fat in this?

    The answer is always "of course not!" followed by the crippling fear of knowing that there is no true right answer. Just prepare for the rage.

    There is a correct answer to that age old question.

    http://www.finerminds.com/love-relationships/do-these-pants-make-my-*kitten*-look-fat/
  • tracieangeletti
    tracieangeletti Posts: 432 Member
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    You didn't mention age. See I'm 47. So if you really want to motivate her you need to tell her not only is she fat but, getting older by the day as well. Women love that. Really. lol ;-)
  • polarsjewel
    polarsjewel Posts: 1,726 Member
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    :heart: Hi Taunto! :flowerforyou:
  • LovelyLaura2321
    LovelyLaura2321 Posts: 56 Member
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    this topic just made my day... thanks!
  • angieochoa1201
    angieochoa1201 Posts: 105
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    ALSO you ought to post pictures of wayyyyy hotter women on the fridge :D
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I think you missed the don't ever think, speak, listen to, or look at another woman. If you do, you will make her feel like she is less than that other woman, and she is not your type. This will drive her to eat more chocolate and ice cream as her sefl-esteem takes a nose dive.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    ALSO you ought to post pictures of wayyyyy hotter women on the fridge :D

    scantily clad hotter women...
  • angieochoa1201
    angieochoa1201 Posts: 105
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    ALSO BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING THAT IS TWO SIZES TWO SMALL AND TELL HER SHE CAN HAVE IT WHEN SHE LOSES THE WEIGHT FROM HER CHUBBY FINGERS LOL HEHEHEHE
  • joe2626
    joe2626 Posts: 123 Member
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    But...but...if you get rid of all of the 'My boyfriend sabotaged me again...' forum posts, you're allowing the forums a higher concentration of 'if all I eat is air for a week, will I go into starvation mode?', 'I ate a slice of banana and i'm over on sugar' and 'I can't see what i'm doing wrong (only to find out they're eating >1000 cals/day)' posts.

    Don't say I didn't warn ya!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    Will have to show the bf this post. I doubt it will do any good, though.
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
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    Will you marry me, taunto?

    This. :flowerforyou:
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
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    How about offering your **** to help her purge the food she just ate?

    Too far?
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
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    How about offering your **** to help her purge the food she just ate?

    Too far?

    Yeah just a little too far.
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
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    Will you marry me, taunto?

    This. :flowerforyou:

    No, I wish he was mine :flowerforyou:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Just tell her how hot her frienda are and how you wished she looked like them. Then suggest inviting them over for a BBQ and hot tub party.
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