I think some ppl just need to WAKE UP!
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carollynch09
Posts: 111
I'm supportive and non judgmental. But I am also truthful and don't sugar coat anything. When someone asks my opinion I am going to give it to them. MY opinion.
Example: I only eat 1200 calories a day. (You just ate an entire back of lays potato chips. That might have something to do with it.)
Example: I pass McDonald's every day. I can't stop myself. (Take a different route or chew some gum. Its called CONTROL)
Example: My husband/wife doesn't want me to get thin. (Its called getting healthy and they have are afraid they will lose you because you're going to look so GREAT. Talk to them like a you're talking to a child to reassure them.)
I KNOW how difficult it is to lose weight. We ALL struggle at one time or another. But we need to put on our grown up pants if we are serious about losing weight and overcome obstacles. Saying can't doesn't cut the mustard.
So if anyone friends me don't expect me to change your diapers. I can only provide a new diaper. haha. I like that.
But seriously, am I being to harsh? I know we have days when we just feel like nothing is happening. I have those days too. Thats ok. I just don't like hearing EXCUSES. Waaawaaaa. JUST DO IT!!!!!
ok, beat me up now.
please see top paragraph..I DO NOT GIVE MY OPINION UNLESS SOMEONE ASKS FOR IT.
Example: I only eat 1200 calories a day. (You just ate an entire back of lays potato chips. That might have something to do with it.)
Example: I pass McDonald's every day. I can't stop myself. (Take a different route or chew some gum. Its called CONTROL)
Example: My husband/wife doesn't want me to get thin. (Its called getting healthy and they have are afraid they will lose you because you're going to look so GREAT. Talk to them like a you're talking to a child to reassure them.)
I KNOW how difficult it is to lose weight. We ALL struggle at one time or another. But we need to put on our grown up pants if we are serious about losing weight and overcome obstacles. Saying can't doesn't cut the mustard.
So if anyone friends me don't expect me to change your diapers. I can only provide a new diaper. haha. I like that.
But seriously, am I being to harsh? I know we have days when we just feel like nothing is happening. I have those days too. Thats ok. I just don't like hearing EXCUSES. Waaawaaaa. JUST DO IT!!!!!
ok, beat me up now.
please see top paragraph..I DO NOT GIVE MY OPINION UNLESS SOMEONE ASKS FOR IT.
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Replies
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I'm supportive and non judgmental. But I am also truthful and don't sugar coat anything. When someone asks my opinion I am going to give it to them. MY opinion.
No one asked for your opinion, so yes you are being judgmental. It doesn't matter if you are or aren't being harsh if you keep your opinions to yourself. If you respond to someone asking for advice that's one thing, but no one needs to post threads like this. In my opinion (since you asked for it) it's more annoying than the excuses. Just worry about yourself and don't get so worked up over someone else's issues.0 -
JUST DO IT!!!!! Good stuff.
If I ever need an honest opinion, I'll ask you for sure.0 -
Um, thanks for the heads up??0
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"Nobody asks your opinion" sounds kind of lame on a public forum. If someone posts "I can't lose weight", it means they want to hear other people's opinion. If a person doesn't want or doesn't care about other people's opinion, they can just do it outside of MFP forums.0
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I agree here. There are some people who go on forums and rant about how everything is difficult before diving in a pool of junk food and then ask why they're not losing any weight. Or whatever unhealthy habit they have or misunderstanding of nutrition and fitness they come to discuss.
If they ask for an opinion, I'm all for the no sugar coating it. Anyway, they'd eat it. Damned sugar. And for those thinking that some tough love is being rude and mean, well, once you said what you had to said, you're done. It's up to them then.0 -
I'm supportive and non judgmental. But I am also truthful and don't sugar coat anything. When someone asks my opinion I am going to give it to them. MY opinion.
No one asked for your opinion, so yes you are being judgmental. It doesn't matter if you are or aren't being harsh if you keep your opinions to yourself. If you respond to someone asking for advice that's one thing, but no one needs to post threads like this. In my opinion (since you asked for it) it's more annoying than the excuses. Just worry about yourself and don't get so worked up over someone else's issues.
let me rephrase that. I do NOT give my opinion unless someone asks for it. 0 -
What a waste of time this post was. Who cares!0
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Um, thanks for the heads up??
lol0 -
"Nobody asks your opinion" sounds kind of lame on a public forum. If someone posts "I can't lose weight", it means they want to hear other people's opinion. If a person doesn't want or doesn't care about other people's opinion, they can just do it outside of MFP forums.
That's why I said it's one thing if you post somewhere that advice is wanted, but a whole new thread complaining about complaining?0 -
What a waste of time this post was. Who cares!
lol
YES! have a nice day. 0 -
What a waste of time this post was. Who cares!
lol YES! have a nice day.
please check out 'would you date the person above you'.0 -
What a waste of time this post was. Who cares!
LOL... you're right. I'm off to do something productive with no excuses! bam!0 -
example: Do these jeans make my butt look big? NO! You look GREAT! (see. there are good answers too)0
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I agree here. There are some people who go on forums and rant about how everything is difficult before diving in a pool of junk food and then ask why they're not losing any weight. Or whatever unhealthy habit they have or misunderstanding of nutrition and fitness they come to discuss.
If they ask for an opinion, I'm all for the no sugar coating it. Anyway, they'd eat it. Damned sugar. And for those thinking that some tough love is being rude and mean, well, once you said what you had to said, you're done. It's up to them then.
exactly! You said it better than I did 0 -
when I read the boards I hear a lot of excuses. I don't reply very often because my reply would most often be "deal with it and do what you know you have to do"
If you have a binge...deal with it and get right back on track
if you hate working out...deal with it, or find something you enjoy
if you aren't losing....look at your numbers...and be honest about your tracking
if you need someone else to motivate you to do what you know you have to do...you're going to have a hard time.
I would love to see more posts from people who are content in this process and are happy with their progress (even if it's done in ups and downs rather than a straight line to being healthy)0 -
Ok, because you asked, I will answer.
You said you were "supportive and nonjudgmental." And you, as a person in real life, may very well be. Honestly, I could not determine this for a surety unless I had several conversations with you.
However, we have to understand that there is a gigantic difference in perspective and reality. Additionally, phrasing is of vital importance--especially through mediated conversation as that of a message board. Let me pick out a few key problem-phrases for you:
"You just ate an entire back of lays potato chips. That might have something to do with it."
This comment is difficult to read without both a caustic tone and an air that commenter believes the poster to be slow.
"Take a different route or chew some gum. It's called CONTROL."
Here, we see a similar degrading tone and an assumption by the commenter that the poster is so far removed from the concept of "control" that he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
"Its called getting healthy and they have are afraid they will lose you because you're going to look so GREAT. Talk to them like a you're talking to a child to reassure them."
Again, there is a hinting that the poster is ignorant. This is another issue entirely, but it's seldom a wise idea to condescend to another adult by talking to him/her as if he/she were a child, even if it's to reassure the person.
"But we need to put on our grown up pants..."
Yet again, utilizing a condescending tone to those poster who "make excuses," calling him/her a child.
"So if anyone friends me don't expect me to change your diapers. I can only provide a new diaper. haha. I like that."
A continuing to trend that the commenter is more mature than/superior to these posters.
"I just don't like hearing EXCUSES. Waaawaaaa. JUST DO IT!!!!!"
Now, a blatant mocking tone is adopted.
My honest opinion? It is possible to communicate both truthfully and tactfully. Sadly, we must work to choose the right words which will not only share the correct information but also the correct attitude.
If you truly wish to improve your online communication skills, ask yourself this: "Am I commenting because I care about this person and does my post display my loving attitude?" If you cannot answer "yes" to both of these questions, it is best to save your particular brand of "supportive and nonjudgmental" opinions, even if the poster does ask for opinions. Why? Because, reading through your comment, the poster will miss any advice for all of your broadcasted ( yet unintentional) scorn for them.
Good luck in your communication journey.
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Ok, because you asked, I will answer.
You said you were "supportive and nonjudgmental." And you, as a person in real life, may very well be. Honestly, I could not determine this for a surety unless I had several conversations with you.
However, we have to understand that there is a gigantic difference in perspective and reality. Additionally, phrasing is of vital importance--especially through mediated conversation as that of a message board. Let me pick out a few key problem-phrases for you:
"You just ate an entire back of lays potato chips. That might have something to do with it."
This comment is difficult to read without both a caustic tone and an air that commenter believes the poster to be slow.
"Take a different route or chew some gum. It's called CONTROL."
Here, we see a similar degrading tone and an assumption by the commenter that the poster is so far removed from the concept of "control" that he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
"Its called getting healthy and they have are afraid they will lose you because you're going to look so GREAT. Talk to them like a you're talking to a child to reassure them."
Again, there is a hinting that the poster is ignorant. This is another issue entirely, but it's seldom a wise idea to condescend to another adult by talking to him/her as if he/she were a child, even if it's to reassure the person.
"But we need to put on our grown up pants..."
Yet again, utilizing a condescending tone to those poster who "make excuses," calling him/her a child.
"So if anyone friends me don't expect me to change your diapers. I can only provide a new diaper. haha. I like that."
A continuing to trend that the commenter is more mature than/superior to these posters.
"I just don't like hearing EXCUSES. Waaawaaaa. JUST DO IT!!!!!"
Now, a blatant mocking tone is adopted.
My honest opinion? It is possible to communicate both truthfully and tactfully. Sadly, we must work to choose the right words which will not only share the correct information but also the correct attitude.
If you truly wish to improve your online communication skills, ask yourself this: "Am I commenting because I care about this person and does my post display my loving attitude?" If you cannot answer both of these questions, it is best to save your particular brand of "supportive and nonjudgmental" opinions, even if the poster does ask for opinions. Why? Because, reading through your comment, the poster will miss any advice for all of your broadcasted ( yet unintentional) scorn for them.
Good luck in your communication journey.
please send me a bill. 0 -
What a waste of time this post was. Who cares!
^^^0 -
The OP has nice jugs0
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Hmmm, I was wrong on one point. It seems that the attitude you broadcasted was indeed intentional. In that case, carry-on. 0
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