Protein Farts

Sometimes farts turn into sharts

My daughters (both in their early 20s) and I went out to dinner one night. I don't remember where we went but, afterwards, we had to stop at the grocery store. I was starting to get uncomfortable and was really hurrying the girls to get through the self-checkout, when I couldn't hold it in any longer. :sick: The gods know I tried.. but it just kind of, as someone else said, "seeped out." It was beyond rank. About that time, one of my girls decided she needed to go to the restroom. My own discomfort eased :embarassed: , I just shrugged and finished running the things past the scanner. My other daughter leaned over and whispered, "God, why did she wait so long... did you smell her fart as she left?" Biting my tongue, I selfishly let my youngest daughter take the blame as I just shrugged and said that I hadn't noticed.

I found it! Odus can really tell a story. :drinker:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864457-a-wee-little-overshare-enter-at-your-own-risk

omg I just DIED laughing! This is my ghost typing.

Did you read the unedited version she linked or the forum post? I want to read it again, but my boss is in the conference room next to me.

My daughters (both in their early 20s) and I went out to dinner one night. I don't remember where we went but, afterwards, we had to stop at the grocery store. I was starting to get uncomfortable and was really hurrying the girls to get through the self-checkout, when I couldn't hold it in any longer. :sick: The gods know I tried.. but it just kind of, as someone else said, "seeped out." It was beyond rank. About that time, one of my girls decided she needed to go to the restroom. My own discomfort eased :embarassed: , I just shrugged and finished running the things past the scanner. My other daughter leaned over and whispered, "God, why did she wait so long... did you smell her fart as she left?" Biting my tongue, I selfishly let my youngest daughter take the blame as I just shrugged and said that I hadn't noticed.

How did you not laugh?! I bow down to you. :bigsmile:

I found it! Odus can really tell a story. :drinker:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864457-a-wee-little-overshare-enter-at-your-own-risk

omg I just DIED laughing! This is my ghost typing.

Did you read the unedited version she linked or the forum post? I want to read it again, but my boss is in the conference room next to me.

Unedited, in all its glory!

I found it! Odus can really tell a story. :drinker:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864457-a-wee-little-overshare-enter-at-your-own-risk

omg I just DIED laughing! This is my ghost typing.

Did you read the unedited version she linked or the forum post? I want to read it again, but my boss is in the conference room next to me.

Unedited, in all its glory!

Hehe! God bless that woman!

Omg lmao!!!!! The comments are hilarious too!!!

Think the most recent was a trip to London.
Recently went from long term Vegetarian, then pescetarian to meat eater, and hit the roast beef big time at a Carvery.
My mother came in the guest room and said she would need to give the cleaning lady a gas mask.

In fact, it was so bad, my bf had to move away when we were stood outside, on a fairly breezy day.

This thread is killing me! Probably the funniest fart story I have ever read is this one. Seriously had me crying with laughter so bad that it took me forever to actually finish reading it.
http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny

That is so well narrated, haha.

Think the most recent was a trip to London.
Recently went from long term Vegetarian, then pescetarian to meat eater, and hit the roast beef big time at a Carvery.
My mother came in the guest room and said she would need to give the cleaning lady a gas mask.

In fact, it was so bad, my bf had to move away when we were stood outside, on a fairly breezy day.

Your stomach had to have been killing you. Right now I'm killing myself, but I can't leave my desk. :sick:

Yep, alas, I found I really like beef and steak, but my stomach begged to differ.
Didn't help my mum is a bit prudish about such things too, lol. And I always give myself away as I start giggling when she notices the smell.

I had one bite of roast and my stomach cramped up. With the 2 pieces of pepperoni it was just the horrendous stench of all the dead things in the world! I can't do it without laughing. Except the time I was on a date, and I popped a teeny tiny one out. It was only the second date, so I had to keep it cool. I'm not sure if he heard it or not, but I never saw him again after that. It didn't even smell!

Wanna say to OP your genius for starting this thread, thank you

and i think egg farts are my worst, they are loud, long and smell awefull

How you doin'