Wife says I need psychological help !!!!

I've wondered this, too. I don't know if psychological help is the right thing - is she thinking you have an eating disorder or body image issue? Because I was wondering it too, and I've lost around 23 lbs (I've never lost this much before!) I consulted my doctor and made an appointment to just go over everything and make sure I'm on track. It might be worth the small office fee to give you peace of mind knowing your body is indeed healthy.

I wouldn't rely on BMI because it often doesn't tell the whole "story," so to speak. For example, my friend's husband is 9% body fat, normal weight, and is considered obese because of what his BMI is.

Have you looked into body recomposition?

Since you lost 100 lbs, I would Highly suggest you get a GOOD Body Comp done. That is the safest way instead of BMI. BMI is based on "average" build and is only on Height and Weight. It does not truly give you a good idea of where you are.

You could get yourself a set of Calipers and do a skin fold test for Body Comp if you do not have access to someone who can do it.

Well BMI doesn't mean much. If you are pretty muscular, there's a good chance your BMI will be over the normal range, for example.

I hear you though. I'm in the same boat, except it's my mom. She thinks I'm nuts for wanting to lose another 25 lbs. I'm around the same BMI as you are and definitely got a lot of fat to lose still. I'd definitely talk to your doctor about it to see what he/she has to say, just in case, but keep up the good work!

There is not a way for me to put this nicely, so i have to ask " is your wife overweight" ? She may not be the best one to judge what you should weigh. Also if your clothes fit poorly, more than likely, you don't look your best.

I think now is a good time to strengthen your inner resolve, realize that a healthy weight for you may just not be up to your wife to judge and yes.....many of us see " overweight" as healthy because it is what is out there ....right in front of us....all the time.

Good Luck, you'll be fine wearing those new clothes and at a healthy BMI.

The second is the psychological help piece. You're married, if she doesn't think you need professional help, you're not doing it right.

Hehe

I wouldn't go off the BMI. I was trying to get there too. 150 for my height. As I got close to 160 everyone keep telling me I look sickly. I gained, muscle, back to 170 and now everyone tells me I look good. Need to find a healthy weight for you.

Real question - Are YOU happy with how you look and feel?

That is what matters. As for your wife, was it an off-hand comment? A way to say she was already happy with the changes you made?

I was out shopping with my wife the other day and she wanted to buy me some new pants as I only have one pair now that fits me decent. As I dropped down sizes fast I'm still wearing pants that are too big, but are not falling down so they work for me. To save money I told her lets wait because I still needed to lose about 20 more lbs, and the pants I have now would hold out until then.

My wife looked at me with this confused look and said if I thought that I needed to lose another 20lbs then I need to seek psychological help. At first I thought she was joking, so when I asked her if she was she said no and she truly thinks I need help. I explained to her that at 5'10" my BMI is currently at 27.8 which still has me in the medium-high range of being over weight, and that losing 20 lbs would put me just at the high range of a normal BMI. She didn't want to hear it, she thinks that I would look sickly, and is really angry with me.

Maybe me being big for so long she got used to being as the normal? Is the the BMI still a good measurement to go by? What are your thoughts?

I got the same reaction except instead of my wife telling me i need psychological help she said "You're obsessed." But shes not really angry with me like you stated. She just thinks I go a bit extreme with some workouts (which maybe thats true sometimes). Easy for her to say though. Shes 110lbs on a heavy day! Other than that she lets me do my thing.

Im 5'10 also and my BMI is 30 ( All I want to do is lose 20 more as well (which seems to get harder and harder). Hopefully your wife will stop thinking you are a psycho and be a bit more supportive of your goals and your happiness. :drinker:

There is not a way for me to put this nicely, so i have to ask " is your wife overweight" ? She may not be the best one to judge what you should weigh.

This was my first thought too. I'm not saying that this is your situation, but I may have said some slightly nasty/jealous things back when I was overweight, but my already in shape husband was working on toning up a little more. May have. I admit to nothing. lol

I would schedule a check up with your doctor just to give her peace of mind--and then follow the doctor's advice. In the meantime, buy a couple of pair of new pants in the correct size. It's not a huge investment and, trust me, you will look and feel much better once you actually have clothes that fit. This from the person who was actually wearing pants which were 2-3 sizes too big and would not stay up on their own because she was too cheap to buy new while still losing weight. Finally breaking down and buying some clothes that fit properly made a HUGE difference and, you know, if I size out of them in a few months, then that's ok. I'll donate them and buy something new as a reward for reaching goal.

Forget BMI.
I don't have a BMI goal. I have a BFP/Weight goal. My wife, too, thinks my goal is too low. But at 6' I will be just fine at 180# and 10% BFP. Achieving that would mean I have the same lean mass that I currently have at 210.
I want to show my wife the six pack that is currently still covered. Though it is no longer covered by a pillow top mattress :bigsmile:

First off - congrats on your HUGE weight loss! That took a lot of work & determination to lose over 100 lbs!!!

As far as the comment from your wife about not needing to lose 25 lbs more, i think it's up to you. In my opinion, i think it's hard for people around us to understand that we have lost a good amount of weight but still need to lose more. Personally, i am 5'2" & weigh 150 lbs, but i want to lose about 20 more lbs - when i said this to my Mama, she said i would look sickly if i lost more weight. To each their own, but i would suggest that you get to a place that you are comfortable with - whether that might be where you are now or losing a bit more. Blessings to you in your fitness journey :-)

Edited to add: since you don't want to invest a lot of $$ in new clothes that you probably won't wear very long, check out the thrift stores in your area. i've had great luck at the ones close to me & generally can find good name brand pants for about $3- just a suggestion.

I know of what you say! :-)

I was so afraid of gaining back weight I kept wearing clothes waaayyyy beyond the time I should have retired them!

For months, I was folding my pants in the back and I added extra holes in my belt to keep them up!

Then once I did start buying new clothes, I kept the old clothes! Took me almost 6 months to bag them up and donate to charity.

As for my wife........

She has only ever known me overweight. As I lost weight she was very supportive. However, once I broke the 200 lbs mark (Down about 80 lbs). I started seeing that there was so much I could do! I got into running and it has become a bit of an obsession. In addition, I have slowly changed my diet over time and now eat no meat. The new quasi-vegetarian, running, weight lifting, biking me is a person my wife has never met in the past. Definitely not the same person she married! I know that she wants to be supportive and that she is happy for my success. But! She is having a hard time. We are both doing our best to support each other. It is a work in progress! We have been married for over 20 years and worked through more difficult situations than this!

I hope you and your wife find a way for you both to be happy!

There is not a way for me to put this nicely, so i have to ask " is your wife overweight" ? She may not be the best one to judge what you should weigh.

This was my first thought too.

And mine...