At what age did you first move out?

sissiluv
sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
in Chit-Chat
In this day and age of soaring living expenses it can be a little hard to establish yourself outside of the nest. Even so I feel like a bit of a putz continuing to live at home at the age of 23 even if I'm paying my mom rent, giving her money need be and paying for groceries half the time. She doesn't want me to move out but I'm planning on heading on my own sometime in the next couple of years.

So when did you first move out?
What were your feelings regarding it? Freedom? Guilt?
If you could go back and tell yourself something upon first moving out, what would it be? Tips and tricks for example.
Was it easy? Was it hard?
What do you think of the culture around 'leaving the nest' vs 'communal living' (IE some families traditionally living together for generations) Is this a largely western phenomenon?
Etcetc.
«134

Replies

  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    23 when I got married. It was nice to have a place of my own :)
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
    At a very young 18 years old with a roommate. It was nice to have space but looking back I should have stayed home for a few years more.
  • Dovekat
    Dovekat Posts: 263 Member
    I was 18 and I moved in with my fiancée :smile:
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    People move out?
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Moved out at 18 when I went to college. No guilt as my parents encouraged me to get out on my own and figure out that they were right and I, in fact, did not know more than them.

    Get out, make some friends and learn how to stand on your own two feet as an adult. You can lean on your parents when you need them, but by 23, you should be out on your own in my opinion. If you have an income and can afford a place (even if it's with a roommate or two), do it. It'll help you acclimate to the real world.

    When my kids are college age, they will be escorted out quickly. They will always have a place to stay, but I would hope they would never again need a place to live.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
    17.

    ETA:

    What were your feelings regarding it? Freedom? Guilt? Freedom from a crazy home life.
    If you could go back and tell yourself something upon first moving out, what would it be? Tips and tricks for example.
    Was it easy? Was it hard? No it wasn't easy. But, I was in a haze if you know what I mean. In some ways, that made things more bearable. If I could go back I would get help & try to have a better relationship with parents.
    What do you think of the culture around 'leaving the nest' vs 'communal living' (IE some families traditionally living together for generations) Is this a largely western phenomenon? It just depends on each situation I guess.
    Etcetc.
  • MaeRenee94
    MaeRenee94 Posts: 175
    I moved out at 18 by myself, no roommates or nothing.
    I personally love it, it's be an amazing learning experience and I grew up really fast.
    The only reason I wish I didn't would be to save more money first for college expenses.

    Best of luck to you
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    I was 17 when I left for college, never lived at home again after that with the exception of a few months when I first moved back to the area after college.
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
    I moved out for college at 18, but my parents still paid for everything. I became completely independent at 22 when I got married. Being independent is great but it isn't easy at the beginning for sure. There are things I didn't think about (like insurance, fees for starting utilities, etc) because I never had to pay them before. Living at home, or even still being supported by your family, creates an obligation to involve them in basically every decision. They deserve that (in my opinion) if they're paying for my stuff. Without them supporting me, I feel like an actual adult. Hopefully that made sense lol
  • mleech77
    mleech77 Posts: 557 Member
    At 20, but at that point I already had two full time jobs, and wasn't going to school anymore. The one thing I'd go back and tell myself would be not to live with the first 3 roommates I lived with.
    roommate 1 - slept with my girlfriend
    roommate 2 - wrecked my car after taking it without asking
    roommate 4 - stole a bunch of money from me, didn't pay his portion of the rent, and got us evicted (forcing me at 23 to move back in with my father for a few months)
  • Jennernichole
    Jennernichole Posts: 7 Member
    I moved out when I was 19 with a boyfriend. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. My mom and I never got along but I still felt guilty moving out. Advice I give to anyone now, stay with your parents as long as you can to save some money. I don't care if they are 28. It is a tough world and if I could do things over, I would. As long as you can save money, who cares how long you live at home (as long as your parents are ok with it!) But I completely understand wanting to be independent. But it is hard!!
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
    13
  • FeatherBoBeather
    FeatherBoBeather Posts: 255 Member
    23 After I had built up a savings because my parents didn't charge me rent.
    Plus when I moved out, my then boyfriend (now fiance) and I moved in together. It was much more affordable (and awesome) than living on our own. :)

    I feel much more free- don't get me wrong, I love my family. But I think my relationships are so much better now with my parents. Living as an adult under their roof was pretty difficult to feel like I had any of my own space.
    If I could tell my past self tips before I moved out, I would have said to build up a collection of stuff I needed *before* moving out. Finding dishes, appliances, even decorations etc. was not cheap. It took us about two years to finally feel like our house was a home. lol We moved about 30 minutes away from my parents because of my fiance's work. I've lived in the country for most of my life, so it was a huge change living 'in town'. :/ I think it's shown me that later on in life, maybe a few years from now, we will look at getting a place a little more rural. :)
  • iamspdd
    iamspdd Posts: 134 Member
    I was 18 when I moved out and never moved back. I loved being on my own and still love it. I couldn't imagine living with my parents!
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    At 17 I moved out and lived with three other underage girls and one 18 yo (someone had to sign the lease!). It lasted for 6 weeks before we got evicted for our partying.
  • pinkledoodledoo
    pinkledoodledoo Posts: 290 Member
    I was 20 when I got my associates degree and then about a month later my Dad told me I had 30 days to get my own place. I didn't have a job and I lived in Miami where just about every apartment community had a wait list at the time so my bf and I did what anyone would do... we asked his mom (an apt community leasing agent) to move in with us so that we could get an apartment ASAP. It sucked living with his mom but we got an apartment and it was nice to have our own place (his mom was definitely more like a roommate than a parent). My tip would be to not go out and buy everything that you are used to having just because you have a place to fill. Buy the things you NEED then grab other stuff along the way. Moving out was the best thing my Dad ever made me do. It made me feel independent and self-sufficient, even though the only job I could get immediately was at a Lowe's. I wish my husband's parents had done the same to him... he lived at home until he was 30 when we met and acts like a spoiled brat because of it. :laugh:
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
    I had a job in a bank and moved out at 17.
    I wish I had gone to college and lived in a dorm instead.
  • ChristinaOrtiz23
    ChristinaOrtiz23 Posts: 1,546 Member
    So when did you first move out? 15 (moved in with family memebers after leaving my moms house) BUT got my 1st apartment at 17

    What were your feelings regarding it? SCARED, because i was so young but excited at the same time

    If you could go back and tell yourself something upon first moving out, what would it be? I was pretty good, work and then when i graduated i got another job, paid everything on time. I was really mature for my age. wish i went to college though!

    What do you think of the culture around 'leaving the nest' vs 'communal living' (IE some families traditionally living together for generations) Is this a largely western phenomenon? I loved moving out and getting my own place! i felt empowered, and independent. I wish i wasnt so young, but i didnt have a choose!!! i think people shoudl mayeb stay with there parents until after college, but thats my opinion!
  • yelliezx
    yelliezx Posts: 633 Member
    I moved out just before my 21st birthday. I also moved to another country lol. It was difficult because I didn't know how to cook/clean/etc and it sucked but I got used to it after a year. I lived with my ex but he didn't help out around the house at all. Boyfriend and I broke up and I still live in Canada (I'm from England) but now I live with a roommate. I could not go back to living at home. I love my freedom!
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
    19, with my now husband and we lived with some friends for a while. Here we are over 7 years later and just now finally get our **** together.

    I wish I would have been smarter about it, but I couldn't handle mentally everything going on in my house anymore. Oh and how I handled it? I had a bunch of anxiety attacks and dropped out of college...I adjusted after about a month, but I was kinda sheltered...
  • rebeccask
    rebeccask Posts: 140 Member
    This is a fun topic! Thanks for asking the questions.

    I recently returned from living in Thailand where I made lots of Thai friends. I spent a lot of time with families and getting to know the culture and at first I thought it was really strange how there will be 3 (if not more) generations living in the same house (approximately the same size as the house I currently am renting) but after some time I really came to respect and envy (to a degree) their lifestyle. I think Western culture really puts pressure on young adults to live on your own, like you're unsuccessful if you still live at home which is completely unfair because there are so many circumstances that justify living with your parents past 18, 20, 25 and so on, not all negatively either. We become more independent by living on our own, figuring out how we're going to pay our biills, buy our groceries, etc so I think we grow up a little sooner vs Thai culture the parents will typically pay for everything until the child moves out. They're viewed as young children (even if they're 28, 30 or 42).

    I could talk about this for days. Point is, move out when you're ready. Sounds like you've already taken the steps to practically living on your own (i.e. paying rents, groceries). There's certainly advantages to living alone mostly in my case, to be independent and to live how I want to live.

    I moved out at 18.
  • RingTailedFox
    RingTailedFox Posts: 53 Member
    I moved out when I was 15.

    I feel like though it was difficult at first, it has helped me to strengthen my character and to learn how to rely on myself.

    If I could tell my 15 year old self a few pointers, they would be:
    Always pay your bills... On time, doofus.
    Don't get an animal just yet.
    You don't really need as many things as you think you do. And what you do really need is available at GoodWill.
    But seriously, pay your bills on time.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    So when did you first move out?
    -Right after I turned 19. I was in my 2nd quarter at college and moved into a house right off campus with a friend from my Spanish class, her cousin, and one of my best friends from my youth.

    What were your feelings regarding it? Freedom? Guilt?
    -Not guilty at all. I couldn't wait to get away from my dad and not have to listen to my parents ***** anymore. It was great.

    If you could go back and tell yourself something upon first moving out, what would it be? Tips and tricks for example.
    -I would tell myself not to live with those 3 lol There was a lot of drama, nasty note writing, and yelling between the girl from my class and her cousin and I. My friend and I ended up not speaking for several months while living together (but have since patched things up :)). I ended up moving out a month early due to roommates refusing to pay me for the electric bill because I didn't have time to do their chores for them due to working full time and school full time, plus all of the animosity made living there hell.

    Was it easy? Was it hard?
    -Financially it was easier than everyone said. It was just hard to get along with the females I was living with. But we did have some good times, parties and what not :) Gotta love the freedom. Since moving out at 19 I have moved in with my dad for brief periods (a few months here and there) between houses/apartments. It was totally different, he let me have as much freedom as I wanted and never bugged me, very supportive. Overall, it's been good.

    What do you think of the culture around 'leaving the nest' vs 'communal living' (IE some families traditionally living together for generations) Is this a largely western phenomenon?
    Etcetc.
    -Interesting question. I think leaving the nest is good. It's good for people to get out there and experience the world, especially during college. It should be a time of learning and experimentation, living away from home is part of that. I wish I was able to live on campus but oh well.
  • jewel22887
    jewel22887 Posts: 72
    18 moved out to college dorm and never back in with mom and dad live with my hubby now own our own house. Things I would tell new move out me is to SAVE money I made four times what I needed for bills when I rented a room after college and I spent it on silly things.

    I could not live with my parents as I am a little, ok a lot controlling and I got it from them. It would not be a good situation but all of my siblings have lived with them after the first move out due to different circumstances. I feel as long as you are paying your own way and being respectful and your parents want you it's not a problem. Having said that my parents still help my other siblings with bills and things because they don't understand living with in their means well. I know families who have 3 generations in the same house and love it. Just depends on the family.
  • jenijen25
    jenijen25 Posts: 137 Member
    16 silly and immature soon went home to my mummy lol xx
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    I moved into a crappy apartment with my best friend when I was 18... It lasted about 3 years before I gave up because I was broke all the time hah
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    18...I got (and have remained) married :flowerforyou:
  • WhitneySheree88
    WhitneySheree88 Posts: 222 Member
    I bounced between moms, dads and grandmothers house from 14-17 then officially moved out at 17.
    My mother was in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend that hated me, so I couldn't live with her. My father and his new "wife" had started using meth and becoming violent with one another and after one of their many fights my boyfriend, now husband's mother asked me to come live with them because she worried about me being with them.
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    I did a "soft move" when I was 22. A job I had provided housing about 25 miles from my parent's house. I did still go to their house for occasional meals, laundry, and to pick up my mail.

    At 23 I applied for a job 1,700 miles away and I was finally totally on my own. That job did also provide housing (horse farm), which probably made the transition easier than if I had needed to find my own place.

Categories