Mom can't be supportive (have a normal mom, don't read)

My mother is very supportive most of the time. However, she gets it in her mind to tell me the "truth" of things. It used to be "you have to do this for the rest of your life" which is fine now because I found something that works for me that I can do forever, but when I was trying WW with her (which wasn't working out) it was unpleasant to hear.

The current unpleasant thing she likes to tell me is that my body is just going to stop losing weight at some point, and I won't be able to lose anymore. I get annoyed because she implies that this is going to be before my goal weight. I get frustrated because I know she says it because she's stuck at 153-155 even though she wants to be at 145.

I didn't have that with my mom...but i did with my mother in law. When I was actively trying to lose weight she would purposely buy clothing that was three times my size for Christmas or for my birthday.

The current unpleasant thing she likes to tell me is that my body is just going to stop losing weight at some point, and I won't be able to lose anymore. I get annoyed because she implies that this is going to be before my goal weight. I get frustrated because I know she says it because she's stuck at 153-155 even though she wants to be at 145.

Not necessarily the truth at all. Metabolic adaptation does happen, but it's generally seen in people who've done a very low calorie diet and tons of cardio who don't have much muscle. Even if it DOES happen, it can be dealt with. Best thing to do is not try to go on an extreme deficit right from the beginning, and do strength training along with your cardio. Good luck.

We must be sisters separated at birth... LOL

Now that I don't live with her I can laugh at it. (I lived with her for 5 years after my divorce - it definitely left its mark). The other day she said I was obsessed with going to be the YMCA. I told her "if I was obsessed I wouldn't be a size 16, I would be a size 8". Oh - your always at the Y. No... I'm lucky if I get there 3-4 times a week. Oh and it goes on. You are not alone. Try to find support elsewhere because she is not going to change (if she's like my mother).

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WEIGHT LOSS!!! :flowerforyou:

<raises hand> OOOH, ME! ME!

I'm incredibly hesitant to share this much personal stuff, but here goes.

Yah. I tried to keep it all to myself until I got caught. My parents *try* to be supportive but often fail. One's an enabler, but will often try to guilt or belittle: "are you still doing your little food thing?" with a infuriatingly condescending grin, the next day will be: "how do you feel after doing this?" My answer, of course, is that I feel much better in general now that I'm learning to eat and cook, which elicited a very disappointed sigh. One's a manic depressive, so don't even get me started. Caught me running and then I got made fun of and told how I wasn't doing it right, or hard enough, or long enough, et cetera. Of course, I wanted to say, "well, show me, then!" and keep running, knowing full well they'd never keep up, but that would have brought on the angry and hostile part of the cycle.

And guess who lives at home now because they need a caretaker these days?

I have no magic advice, other than to rely more on your friends here. I have to fight depression being treated like that all the time. But, hey, running helps, lol.

So I guess the answer is: NO, you're not alone.

My mum is dead and has been for 21 years but I remember she always tried to be supportive, unlike my father (also dead, 30 years), who was one of the most negative people I can remember.

Sadly, much of his negativity has rubbed off on my sister. I saw her in June for the first time in 8 months, during which time I have lost a fair bit of weight. What did she say? Something nice and encouraging or congratulatory? Nope. She said "Can't see which ankle you lost it off".

Now, if she had said it in a joking kind of voice and with a smile on her face, then I would have know she was teasing but she didn't - it was said in a vicious tone of voice, with a snort and a malicious look on her face. I was SO angry I could have hit her but had enough self-control not to do so.

Wouldn't have been so bad except that she has type 2 diabetes and doesn't control it well. She's overweight (well obese, on the BMI scale) and is constantly being told to lose weight but she doesn't do anything about it - and she wonders why people get cross with her.

You have no idea how glad I am that she lives 400 miles away....!

My mom is supportive it is other family members I have this issue with.
My sister, who is over weight tells me i'm getting too small and my sister in law who used to be smaller than me will not even talk about weight loss, food, exercise or my weight loss because she is jealous (she is that type of girl, that likes to have all the attention and focus on her) My husband bought me a treadmill and my MIL actually told the rest of the family that she wished I would "Go ahead and weigh only 2 pounds so she could stop hearing about my weight loss" when I hadn't even been the one talking to her about it.
Luckily my mom and husband have been supportive and my mom is always telling me how good i'm looking lol it's weird.

and growing up would say I need to look more like a certain skinny friend

That one's hard. I've been the skinny friend in this scenario, and it made me feel terrible. Can't imagine how it makes you feel.

Nope, mine's not normal. She has HUGE issues with food (warped and unhealthy), and lovingly passed those onto me by making food and my weight a gigantic issue my whole life, no pun intended. I vowed I would not do that to my kid (s). I have found myself thinking that I never want to have a little girl because the world is so bad for women (in relation to body image, etc.). My mom didn't do it to me on purpose but she gave me a complex that affected my entire life. Yes, I'm in therapy....LOL

bump for later

I wouldn't say my mother has issues with food or her weight. What she does have a problem with is the fact that my aunt and my grandmother from my dad's side of the family are both obese (my aunt being morbidly obese with Type 2 diabetes) and she thinks my two oldest sisters and I are heading down the same path as them. Well the other two might be but I am trying my damnedest to get back down to a healthy weight....but she still insists on hounding ME on what to eat and how to workout and how often to workout. BACK OFF MOM!!! It's hard to get back to "skinny" or fit status when I have a full-time desk job and don't do everything I did as a child and teenager (lots of manual labor and activity revolving around horses).

I carry a lot of weight in my stomach, which I now know is partially due to high levels of cortisol from trauma and abuse.

One of my favorite quotes from my mom was, "I always used to look at you and think, oh my god, she's pregnant with a boy. Because you know, people carry boys up higher than girls." And laughed.

Super damaging to think my mom just watched me and thought really cruel things and only half of them actually came out of her mouth.

This is EXACTLY the same as my relationship with my mother. OMG!!!! You are not alone. Mine has always talked about how much weight she's lost and how she's getting back down to this size and on and on and on. Always about the weight ever since I was a little girl. It bothered me soooo much and made me unbelievably self conscious about my weight my entire life. I lived a full days drive away and I couldn't stand to talk to her because everything time I called it was always my weight this or my weight that. We hadn't seen each other in almost a year and she moved back to my area and one of first things that came out of her mouth was and look how much weight I've lost. Only I know she lost the weight simply by not eatting. We've had heating conversations about her not eatting much and she know's I disapprove of her method. I've tried being the supportive one and giving her credit, but enoughs enough. I've lost a total of 52 lbs since I've had my daughter (25 on this site) and you'd think she'd say something, but nope of course not. So I just got to the point of not talking about it at all, even with my success. I completely ignore all her talk about her weight. And beleive me: it's still every time we get together or talk!!!! I'm not losing the weight for her to acknowledge it; I'm doing it for myself!!! I don't need her approval to look great! I just roll my eyes and move on to another topic of coversation. It stinks and it will forever bother me because after all she is my mother and I do love her, but I won't let her suck the life out of my weight loss success. You should do the same!

My grandmother sounds just like your mom.

I had to go on an interview not long ago and needed a new shirt. I've lost weight and can now fit in my mom's clothing. My grandma tells me ' you haven't lost THAT much weight yet. You need to find something in my closet.'

I gained 32 lbs with my second child and of course the first thing she says is I never gained more than 12 lbs during pregnancy. And I always left the hospital smaller than when I went in. She always talks about how she used to be. She completely ignores the fact that she is obese now. She just compares me to what she used to be.

My mom (who is a size 16 or 18) has said things like:

I'm getting as big as a house; just like you.

I'm getting hips like you.

I found this shirt but your to big for it.

I gave her a pair my sweatpants (with an elastic band) to wear cause she spilled something on hers and she said "these are huge on me"

I have I since told her not to say those things to me cause it is hurtful and she said she was sorry and that she didn't realize that it hurt my feelings. All fine and I except her apology but I will NEVER forget it or how it made me feel.