Excuses? How not to cause offence?

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Replies

  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
    lol Sue, you know me in real life....verify I'd have sought the revenge I described below.... mwah hahahahaha
  • Paige1108
    Paige1108 Posts: 432 Member
    When I quite eating sugar I had this problem all the time. "But it's my birthday, have just one piece of cake with me.". And I just stuck to my "No, thank you". I knew I wanted this change to be for the rest of my life and I didn't want to spend my life thinking up excuses and coming up with little white lies. So it was always just the simple truth "No Thank you, I don't eat sugar." Now, 8 years later, it's just accepted that I won't have the b-day cake or split the dessert.
  • kaeelle
    kaeelle Posts: 24 Member
    You know what, they may be overweight as well, but you've made a choice for what's best for your body. Just because you're more slim than they are doesn't mean that you're as healthy as you'd like to be. Just let them know you're dieting, be upfront, and ask them to join you, or at least be supportive. I've done the same at my work. If negative comments come? Just say "hey, I don't tell you guys what you should eat." and let them know that you've made the decision to get healthy for yourself. Maybe, if you let them know that you want to be healthier, you'll inspire them to do so as well. That's what it took for me... was an extra nudge in the right direction.
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
    lol Sue, you know me in real life....verify I'd have sought the revenge I described below.... mwah hahahahaha

    Yep, it's true.
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
    lol Sue, you know me in real life....verify I'd have sought the revenge I described below.... mwah hahahahaha

    Yep, it's true.
  • Skinnytime
    Skinnytime Posts: 279
    Ditto SallyLunn and anyone else who said take it, take one bite, praise it to high heaven and then hide it until you can trash it. I don't like hurt feelings, and this way, no one is offended and you get to keep your calories for something else.
  • gnrshelton
    gnrshelton Posts: 358 Member
    If you really hate saying your on a diet and you know they react badly you could always say it causes migraines. Which by the way chocolate really does give some migraines. Your not saying it gives YOU migraines just that it does. You wouldn't be lying.:happy: I personally don't care I say I'm trying to eat better. But Thank You anyway. I don't say diet because its not.
    I think she was either jealous that you had will power and wanted to break you or she to darn sensitive. Good for you that you resisted temptation.
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
    I am also in a similar situation, I am the 'slim one' out of the 3 of us women in our office and it's always tough when I am dieting as they just don't understand.

    Earlier I tried the 'I don't eat biscuits anymore' line because I know if I have one, I'll want another and another. Maybe you could try something similar?

    Spot on what I was going to suggest! Also, it is true isn't it, eat carb stuff and it makes more cravings (well it does for me anyway), that in itself is enough of a reason I think.

    To the OP, I know it is difficult and people (especially if they are bigger than you) do not understand, but stick to your guns, because if you don't, it is you who will have to sort your weight out in the end, not them. :flowerforyou:
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,249 Member
    ...maybe your reason is none of her business...
    My favorite response ever! :happy:
  • SaveTheDrama
    SaveTheDrama Posts: 62
    I think you did well. You do not owe anyone an explanantion. I have blood sugar issues so my excuse is easy and they can't really get mad for me not wanting to make myself sick.
  • megsta21
    megsta21 Posts: 506 Member
    Bottom line: Tell them no. If they persist, tell them no. If they are offended, tell them no and roll your eyes. :bigsmile:

    HAHAHAHA LOVE IT!!!! =)
  • cpu22girl
    cpu22girl Posts: 24
    I would have just told the truth....something like I am really trying to calculate everything I eat and there is no way for me to know the caloric value of a slice of your cake, thank you anyway.
  • iDoc
    iDoc Posts: 8
    I always begin by saying that their food looks AMAZING and so tempting but that I need to watch what I eat. Otherwise, I would love to try their food. This usually makes them feel good and I don't eat the extra food.
  • cpu22girl
    cpu22girl Posts: 24
    When it comes to my health and my body, I do not care if someone gets offended when I refuse a piece of something. If they are offended because you do not have a slice of cake they clearly have issues.

    I would have said "No thank you" and that is it. If they ask why, I always say "I am watching what I eat" and if they say "aww come on, one piece won't kill you" (which is always what they say) I say "No thanks". :laugh: It's pretty dry, but WTF? I don't feel like I need to provide a legal statement for why I don't want a piece of cake.

    Bottom line: Tell them no. If they persist, tell them no. If they are offended, tell them no and roll your eyes. :bigsmile:

    LMAO!! Love it!
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    What's difficult is that my current workmates have always known me to be thin as I lost weight before starting this job. As such, I imagine they think I just have a good metabolism. Good excuse for being lazy I guess :P

    Trying to explain how you are wanting to put on weight (good weight) but don't want things like chips and garlic bread. THAT is hard! :P
  • fat_forever
    fat_forever Posts: 56
    That's what diabetics go through all the time.....people offering them food they shouldn't have and acting like you should eat it because they made it.

    When someone offers me food that I can't have, like the cake you mentioned, I just look at it and say, "No thanks, that stuff will kill you." I don't care of they like it or not. It's my health that's at stake, not theirs. They won't be the one who will go blind, suffer kidney failure, heart attacks, strokes, or amputations.

    It really bugs me when I tell them that I'm diabetic and need to limit my carbs to less than 100 a day, yet they insist that "One piece won't hurt you." They don't understand that they aren't the only ones pushing food at you saying the same thing....that one piece won't hurt you. If you add up all the "one pieces" during the week, it totals a whole lot of extra calories and carbs.

    The quickest way for me to get them to stop shoving food at me is to politely refuse, then if they insist, refuse again. If they still insist, then I go into "shock therapy" mode.

    I'll look at them and say, I really don't want any, and I know I shouldn't, but if you insist, I'll try a piece. I'll eat a piece, then in about 5 minutes, I'll start pretending to shake. Then I'll make sure everyone knows that I feel really bad, so I'll sit down. After pretending to shake for several minutes, I'll fall off the chair onto the floor, holding my head the whole time, and roll around on the floor, "Screaming, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that! I knew this would happen! My blood sugar is way out of control!"

    Then I'd yell for someone to get me some water. I'd drink it, then slowly lessen my shaking until I completely stopped. I would slowly climb back into the chair, put my head down on the table, and I'd keep saying, "I KNEW I shouldn't have eaten that!"

    After that, I guarantee that they won't offer me anything else to eat, and will never insist that I eat something when I have already refused to eat it.<g>

    I call this my shock therapy mode because it shocks the people into learning that when I say I can't have something, there is a good reason for it. It works quite well.
  • Jena_72
    Jena_72 Posts: 1,057
    That's what diabetics go through all the time.....people offering them food they shouldn't have and acting like you should eat it because they made it.

    When someone offers me food that I can't have, like the cake you mentioned, I just look at it and say, "No thanks, that stuff will kill you." I don't care of they like it or not. It's my health that's at stake, not theirs. They won't be the one who will go blind, suffer kidney failure, heart attacks, strokes, or amputations.

    It really bugs me when I tell them that I'm diabetic and need to limit my carbs to less than 100 a day, yet they insist that "One piece won't hurt you." They don't understand that they aren't the only ones pushing food at you saying the same thing....that one piece won't hurt you. If you add up all the "one pieces" during the week, it totals a whole lot of extra calories and carbs.

    The quickest way for me to get them to stop shoving food at me is to politely refuse, then if they insist, refuse again. If they still insist, then I go into "shock therapy" mode.

    I'll look at them and say, I really don't want any, and I know I shouldn't, but if you insist, I'll try a piece. I'll eat a piece, then in about 5 minutes, I'll start pretending to shake. Then I'll make sure everyone knows that I feel really bad, so I'll sit down. After pretending to shake for several minutes, I'll fall off the chair onto the floor, holding my head the whole time, and roll around on the floor, "Screaming, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that! I knew this would happen! My blood sugar is way out of control!"

    Then I'd yell for someone to get me some water. I'd drink it, then slowly lessen my shaking until I completely stopped. I would slowly climb back into the chair, put my head down on the table, and I'd keep saying, "I KNEW I shouldn't have eaten that!"

    After that, I guarantee that they won't offer me anything else to eat, and will never insist that I eat something when I have already refused to eat it.<g>

    I call this my shock therapy mode because it shocks the people into learning that when I say I can't have something, there is a good reason for it. It works quite well.
    I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes!! Funny very funny!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Are you a type 1 or 2?
    My fifteen year old daughter was diagnosed as a type 1 a little over 2 1/2 years ago people need to respect the fact that some people are managing not only thier weight, but a serious diesese! Boo Hoo for the baker geesh but keep on baking someday she may need advice on how to manage her own diabetes!!
  • Maggie1960
    Maggie1960 Posts: 322
    If you really hate saying your on a diet and you know they react badly you could always say it causes migraines. Which by the way chocolate really does give some migraines. Your not saying it gives YOU migraines just that it does. You wouldn't be lying.:happy: I personally don't care I say I'm trying to eat better. But Thank You anyway. I don't say diet because its not.
    I think she was either jealous that you had will power and wanted to break you or she to darn sensitive. Good for you that you resisted temptation.
    The trouble is, if I say I'm allergic to chocolate, the next cake she'll make will be another flavour and I'll be stuck again, trying to think of a reason why I don't want any. (She's a very keen cook and always bringing in home-made treats for everyone). So I think I'll just continue to say, as many have suggested, wow, that looks delicious - I'll take a piece for later, I'm not hungry now, thank you so much. Then I'll wrap it and bin it (or feed it to my dog) when I get home.:smile: I think she's someone with low self-esteem and she needs people to eat her food and compliment her on her baking skills. to make her feel good.
  • FemininGuns
    FemininGuns Posts: 605 Member
    I wonder... why do we need to justify to people why we say no???

    We don't have to say why we say YES!

    Saying JUST no is the key! You'll kinda laugh to yourself because of the odd looks you'll get (like deer caught in the headlights look) cause they don't know how to react! I promise you that you'll only have to say no 3 times. Say no, and enjoy it :)

    Also, we should not pass judgement on why people do what they do. She may have low self esteem because she cooks for people to like her - but is that for you to judge? It's like she's judging you for not saying yes, and you're judging her for cooking to make herself feel good when others eat her food... Just accept eachother the way you are :flowerforyou:
  • sbilyeu75
    sbilyeu75 Posts: 567 Member
    I think I would just say that I wasn't feeling very well.
  • fat_forever
    fat_forever Posts: 56
    That's what diabetics go through all the time.....people offering them food they shouldn't have and acting like you should eat it because they made it.

    When someone offers me food that I can't have, like the cake you mentioned, I just look at it and say, "No thanks, that stuff will kill you." I don't care of they like it or not. It's my health that's at stake, not theirs. They won't be the one who will go blind, suffer kidney failure, heart attacks, strokes, or amputations.

    It really bugs me when I tell them that I'm diabetic and need to limit my carbs to less than 100 a day, yet they insist that "One piece won't hurt you." They don't understand that they aren't the only ones pushing food at you saying the same thing....that one piece won't hurt you. If you add up all the "one pieces" during the week, it totals a whole lot of extra calories and carbs.

    The quickest way for me to get them to stop shoving food at me is to politely refuse, then if they insist, refuse again. If they still insist, then I go into "shock therapy" mode.

    I'll look at them and say, I really don't want any, and I know I shouldn't, but if you insist, I'll try a piece. I'll eat a piece, then in about 5 minutes, I'll start pretending to shake. Then I'll make sure everyone knows that I feel really bad, so I'll sit down. After pretending to shake for several minutes, I'll fall off the chair onto the floor, holding my head the whole time, and roll around on the floor, "Screaming, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that! I knew this would happen! My blood sugar is way out of control!"

    Then I'd yell for someone to get me some water. I'd drink it, then slowly lessen my shaking until I completely stopped. I would slowly climb back into the chair, put my head down on the table, and I'd keep saying, "I KNEW I shouldn't have eaten that!"

    After that, I guarantee that they won't offer me anything else to eat, and will never insist that I eat something when I have already refused to eat it.<g>

    I call this my shock therapy mode because it shocks the people into learning that when I say I can't have something, there is a good reason for it. It works quite well.
    I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes!! Funny very funny!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Are you a type 1 or 2?
    My fifteen year old daughter was diagnosed as a type 1 a little over 2 1/2 years ago people need to respect the fact that some people are managing not only their weight, but a serious disease! Boo Hoo for the baker geesh but keep on baking someday she may need advice on how to manage her own diabetes!!

    I am a type 2. I don't know how long I've been a type 2 since I never bothered to take note of when the doctor diagnosed it. I wish your daughter well and hope she maintains good BG control. If you ever need advice or to talk to others who have diabetes, you should go to www.diabetesforums.com The people there are very friendly and knowlegeable. You'd be amazed at how much mis-information is out there.....a lot of it coming from doctors and the ADA.
  • vkpmusic
    vkpmusic Posts: 343 Member
    [/quote]
    The trouble is, if I say I'm allergic to chocolate, the next cake she'll make will be another flavour and I'll be stuck again, trying to think of a reason why I don't want any. (She's a very keen cook and always bringing in home-made treats for everyone). So I think I'll just continue to say, as many have suggested, wow, that looks delicious - I'll take a piece for later, I'm not hungry now, thank you so much. Then I'll wrap it and bin it (or feed it to my dog) when I get home.:smile: I think she's someone with low self-esteem and she needs people to eat her food and compliment her on her baking skills. to make her feel good.
    [/quote]


    Be careful, or the dog will have to sign up on MFP! :laugh:
  • rfialkiewicz
    rfialkiewicz Posts: 183 Member
    Touchy.... Umm.... "sorry, but I recently found out that I am having a bad reaction to sugar"...... (silently) uhh like it makes me gain weight. Maybe next time they bring in fruit?
    ROLFLOLOMGMYSIDESAREBURNING!

    I have so done that before. Except they asked what the bad reaction was and I said that last bit out loud in response.

    "No thanks, recently found out that I am having a bad reaction to sugar."
    "Like what?"
    "It makes me fat."

    I have no tact. No really, it's like a disorder or something, I'm tactless.

    I AM hypoglycemic and I've used that to my advantage in situations like this before. A real conversation when a co=worker brought in homemade German chocolate cake with chocolate icing:

    "Not so supposed to have sugar."
    "Why not?"
    "You want to call the ambulance when I crash thirty minutes from now into an insulin coma? I'm gettin' pre-diabetic just lookin' at it."
    "Really?"
    "No. Not really, hypoglycemia is basically pre-diabetic already. It will give me diabetes by proximity... really. And the smell is giving me a cavity."

    She was kind of flustered. Not sure if I offended her or not, but she never tried to get me to eat sweets again.
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