Women, would you take this offensively?

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Replies

  • wannabpiper
    wannabpiper Posts: 402 Member
    Not sure of his tone, but you actually were having trouble getting the plates off, right? Let it go and rise above it. You look like a very pretty girl, so the guy was likely in over his head before he even approached you. Unless he was a total jerk, he gets points for having the guts to help you.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    No, it wasn't rude. You are sensitive b/c everything in that area of the gym feels uncomfortably new. Which I can totally relate to. My suggestion is to work your way into the weights area more gradually....go online to find one or two basic exercises using free-weights. See how they're done on a video and practice the motion at home. Then when you get to the gym try them out. Only do one or two new exercises every week or two. That way you will build a working knowledge and feel more comfortable in there.
  • EricJonrosh
    EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?

    What a queef. He should have just helped you and shut up, but he was intimidated by your hotness.
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
    He could have phrased it better, but he did help. When I started, I could barely get the 45's off the machines (why do they think everyone needs those plates?) - now they are nothing.

    Just go back in there and "rule" your space. Put on the tunes, pick up the weights and do your thing. Don't let them "muscle" you out - prove you can do it :).

    Oh and trust me, I enjoy tormenting the few lunks for "objecting" to me being in the weight section - there is one dude in there, every time I see him, I pick the machines/benches beside him. He tried to "intimidate" me & my friend several times, once insisting we leave our bench so he could use it (and we were sharing a single bench).

    Now we lift more than him :)
  • mgreen10
    mgreen10 Posts: 229 Member
    I'd say "actually what I'm doing right now is part of my workout, but thanks for your concern. If I need help I'll ask someone who works here" and get back to what I was doing. Don't let anyone intimidate you. And if you really did need the help, then don't get offended.
  • Shannonpurple
    Shannonpurple Posts: 268 Member
    Ok not for nothing but the problem most women have is knowing when to ask for help. It is not about if you can do it or not but is it really worth your time to struggle with it? I am also postitive if you are any one is scared of the weight room ask someone at the gym to go over the machines with you IT IS THERE JOB you pay ~$20-60 a month to go there make them work for your money.
  • TeamDale
    TeamDale Posts: 383 Member
    I would have said, "Do you need some help with that?" If the answer was yes, I would help. If the answer was no, I would say thank you and leave. Anyway, that is just me I guess.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Ok not for nothing but the problem most women have is knowing when to ask for help.
    This is VERY true. I have dropped some pretty heavy crap and hurt myself rather than ask one or more of my coworkers to come help me. It's not cool.
  • jaina08
    jaina08 Posts: 561 Member
    Ok not for nothing but the problem most women have is knowing when to ask for help. It is not about if you can do it or not but is it really worth your time to struggle with it? I am also postitive if you are any one is scared of the weight room ask someone at the gym to go over the machines with you IT IS THERE JOB you pay ~$20-60 a month to go there make them work for your money.

    You know what you guys, I am going to the weight room today and ask a personal trainer for help instead of the other men in there. I feel more comfortable asking someone who works there anyways!
  • harkstar1
    harkstar1 Posts: 2
    It sounds like he was trying to help. Not everyone is great in social situations, I wouldnt worry about it, get someone to show you how to use the equipment properly and go and show the men that women can also lift weights :)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?

    He never called you weak. You yourself said you were struggling. It sounds to me like he was trying to help move things along possibly in the knowledge that people might be on a time schedule including himself and you. If he had a negative tone, it might be understandable if he was a little annoyed that things needed to speed up maybe he was waiting on that bar and since you are new there and/or focusing on the wrong things you didn't notice that about him. It's easy to miss stuff like that when you are so caught up in "everyone's staring at me" type thinking. The fact that he was in his forties and said "I can't take this anymore" makes me think at his age and life experience he might have given the situation some time before stepping in and it just got to the ridiculous point and felt like he had to step in, possibly even to keep you from hurting yourself. Honestly the weakest part of your story is your reaction to his trying to help and having a flat tone about it. Maybe you're used to when guys are trying to hit on a girl and they act all super sweet and smiley on every little thing. I used to think that was the normal state of life too, until life happened and I became aware peoples normal tone is way less smiley get in your pantsish and realized those guys were the bozo's and these straight faced people with flat tones are just going about their day as uneventful and swift as possible and not up to anything. I learned real fast to appreciate that more.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    I'd say "actually what I'm doing right now is part of my workout, but thanks for your concern. If I need help I'll ask someone who works here" and get back to what I was doing. Don't let anyone intimidate you. And if you really did need the help, then don't get offended.
    I do this all the time with stuff like loading groceries and changing the water jug at work! Meaning, I tell people, I'm doing this heavy lifting on purpose, not because nobody offered to help me.

    Another possibility is that he felt like you were hogging the equipment and wanted to help you get on with it so he could get to his set. I'm kinda clueless and insensitive when it comes to subtle etiquette cues like that though. If that was the real reason, I'd rather the dude just tell me that. Then I'd let him help me and offer to have him work in with me after my first set. Because I try not to be a d-bag that doesn't share. I hate those people.
  • tburkett1915
    tburkett1915 Posts: 25
    You are an attractive woman so expected to be starred at. Also, like others have stated, there's nothing wrong with asking for help and in fact, I'm sure most men would be more than happy to help you out and even show you a few exercises. Most women are intimidated by the meat heads in the weight room ( no offense guys). Be confident, walk in there with confidence, look up a few exercises on your smart phone, you got this girl! :wink:
  • julieharrell1
    julieharrell1 Posts: 29 Member
    he was rude as hell and needs to learn how to mind his own business.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    just keep going that what god made men for to help us when we need it . just do your thing and lift gurl

    Oh, is THAT what they're for?
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    I curl 30 lb easy bar.. does that offend you because I'm a guy and I should be lifting MAN weight?

    Clarification: There shouldn't be a gender bias for anything fitness related.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    You know what you guys, I am going to the weight room today and ask a personal trainer for help instead of the other men in there. I feel more comfortable asking someone who works there anyways!
    I'm so glad to hear this! The answer to the feeling you got is not to skulk away and avoid the hard stuff, but to confront it head-on and use it as an opportunity to get tougher. You win today! :happy:
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
    I feel like some women are intimidated by the weight room, and will find any excuse to why they dont "belong" there. I walk into the weight room, and one of the guys goes over and starts re-racking his weights from the squat rack, because he knows that's exactly where i'm heading.
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    I probably would have let you break your foot with the weight rather than risk offending you.
  • jaina08
    jaina08 Posts: 561 Member
    You know what you guys, I am going to the weight room today and ask a personal trainer for help instead of the other men in there. I feel more comfortable asking someone who works there anyways!
    I'm so glad to hear this! The answer to the feeling you got is not to skulk away and avoid the hard stuff, but to confront it head-on and use it as an opportunity to get tougher. You win today! :happy:

    Yup, I feel kinda better now based on everyone's opinions. Not going to hesitate anymore to go there. If that man bugs me again I am going to be like no I dont need help lol.
  • jaina08
    jaina08 Posts: 561 Member
    I probably would have let you break your foot with the weight rather than risk offending you.

    Lol!!
  • Brige2269
    Brige2269 Posts: 354 Member
    Definetly keep going! You belong there just as much as they do. When that happens to me, I look at the weight on there, and if is higher than those 25lb weights, I just turn to the nearest guy who isn't in the middle of a rep and ask if they could help me. I have done this about 4 times, and each was very eager to help the fat chick out. LOL!!
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    You know what you guys, I am going to the weight room today and ask a personal trainer for help instead of the other men in there. I feel more comfortable asking someone who works there anyways!
    I'm so glad to hear this! The answer to the feeling you got is not to skulk away and avoid the hard stuff, but to confront it head-on and use it as an opportunity to get tougher. You win today! :happy:

    Yup, I feel kinda better now based on everyone's opinions. Not going to hesitate anymore to go there. If that man bugs me again I am going to be like no I dont need help lol.

    But you obviously did need help. You said it yourself.
  • jaina08
    jaina08 Posts: 561 Member
    You know what you guys, I am going to the weight room today and ask a personal trainer for help instead of the other men in there. I feel more comfortable asking someone who works there anyways!
    I'm so glad to hear this! The answer to the feeling you got is not to skulk away and avoid the hard stuff, but to confront it head-on and use it as an opportunity to get tougher. You win today! :happy:

    Yup, I feel kinda better now based on everyone's opinions. Not going to hesitate anymore to go there. If that man bugs me again I am going to be like no I dont need help lol.

    But you obviously did need help. You said it yourself.

    Yeah I know but I was able to take one 45 lb plate off on my own. It just took a while.
  • jhalton
    jhalton Posts: 85
    Just keep working at it. Who cares what others think??....just do your thing girl! Don't be afraid to ask those meatheads for help....they would be glad to help a beautiful damsel in distress. Before you know it you will be tossing those 45lb plates around like they are frisbees! :-)
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Honestly I would think he meant he couldn't take watching you struggle because of somebody else's rudeness. It is rude to leave 45# plates on the barbell. Next time say thank you and move on. Or, you could ask for assistance to begin with.
  • jensweighingin
    jensweighingin Posts: 168 Member
    Ignore his lack of social skills and get back in there. My workout partner is 5', I'm 5'10". I rerack most of her weights because she can't lift them to the height required to actually get them off where they're racked. Today I had to pull down the lat bar for her to do her exercise and she commented "I was standing on the seat and couldn't get it" and we laughed a little. It's all about helping and approach. You can do it!
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    Just keep working at it. Who cares what others think??....just do your thing girl! Don't be afraid to ask those meatheads for help....they would be glad to help a beautiful damsel in distress. Before you know it you will be tossing those 45lb plates around like they are frisbees! :-)

    Yep. I'm a sucker. I'd rack plates for you all day long.
  • babyj0
    babyj0 Posts: 531 Member
    Honestly, I probably would be emberrased too. Because obviously he was looking at you struggle. It was nice of him to lend you a hand, but he should have said it differently. And not made you feel like a weak little girl.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    Ehh, we had a lady at our gym try to take off a 100lb plate from a leg press a few weeks ago, it threw her forward and dropped her...stay safe OP.

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