Women, would you take this offensively?

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Replies

  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    He didn't have to say anything other than "may I help you with those weights," but offering to help was the right thing to do.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    You were unsure. You were struggling. He helped you. He was a guy in the middle of a workout. When I'm in the middle of a workout I'm probably not the most diplomatic person either

    But let me give you another perspective: I work in a doctors office. I have seen the x-rays of a foot shattered into a million pieces by a 45 pound plate. The foot of an experienced bodybuilder. This situation could have been a whole lot worse had he not offered his help. I'm really sorry your ego was bruised.
  • Happy_10yr
    Happy_10yr Posts: 287 Member
    It was nice of him to help you but his social skills are lacking, to say the least.

    Great point!!
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    You were unsure. You were struggling. He helped you. He was a guy in the middle of a workout. When I'm in the middle of a workout I'm probably not the most diplomatic person either

    But let me give you another perspective: I work in a doctors office. I have seen the x-rays of a foot shattered into a million pieces by a 45 pound plate. The foot of an experienced bodybuilder. This situation could have been a whole lot worse had he not offered his help. I'm really sorry your ego was bruised.

    /thread
  • tyresank
    tyresank Posts: 174 Member
    Well usually I do not let it get to that point, I ask for help. I am not embarrassed to do so. The other day I had issues with a 50lb weight to lift it up about chest high back onto the rack, but my arns were just wore out... I asked a guy to help, and he was happy to do so... I learned a long time ago when I was 380lbs not to let the little things like those comments bother me too much ... and now days at 165 I could care less. Mostly they will help... maybe he could have said it nicer... but then he is a guy.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    Sounds like he was just tryin to be funny. I probably woulda said the same thing.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    The rude person is whoever left those plates on a barbell that a lot of different people need to use. I can't safely remove the larger plates from the barbell.by myself.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I think one of two things were happening here. He was watching you struggle, and was trying to find a way to help you and not have it be awkward as many others hav stated.

    The other option was he was needing to get to his squats, and didn't have the patience to wait for you to struggle with the plates.

    It's hard to tell without tone of voice. If he said it jocularly, I would lean towards the former. If he said it grumpily, I would tend towards the latter/

    Either way, I am guessing he wasn't trying to be insulting, and scare you away. You should totally keep going. Someday, you can help him unload his bar in return.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I might be embarrassed that I was struggling, but I wouldn't be offended because someone helped me.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    The rude person is whoever left those plates on a barbell that a lot of different people need to use. I can't safely remove the larger plates from the barbell.by myself.

    That's what I was thinking too.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    I bet he thought you are cute and it affected his social skills.
    Probably trying to be a hero and ended up a jackwagon.
    Keep going!
    The only way your going to get stronger and more confident in that weight room is to just keep doing it.
    I would keep going just to have that moment down the line where you can easily toss that 45 lb plate off then wink at him
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member


    But you obviously did need help. You said it yourself.

    Yeah I know but I was able to take one 45 lb plate off on my own. It just took a while.

    Perhaps he was anticipating needing that piece of equipment soon, or others needing it soon, so he was facilitating it actually being freed up sooner so they didn't all have to wait "a while" longer. Most people have busy lives.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    I wouldn't be offended if someone offered to help me get a heavy weight off a bar I wanted to use. Granted the weight room and the men in it don't intimidate me and I could curl a 45 pound plate.....but still, maybe he was trying to be funny in how he said it, I think he probably was just trying to help though.
  • janicelo1971
    janicelo1971 Posts: 823 Member
    I would continue to go in there and work out as you please. the person before you was rude and should of removed them...the guy I think was trying to help you and just lacked social skills and made the "rude" comment..i could care less what others think....im there to work out ....
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Maybe he made that remark so you wouldn't feel like he was helping you to hit on you. Woman often complain about "creepers" at the gym, so he may well have been trying to avoid that impression.

    Keep lifting, and if you need help, ask.
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
    The rude person is whoever left those plates on a barbell that a lot of different people need to use. I can't safely remove the larger plates from the barbell.by myself.
    This!
    I went to do squats one day and the bar was racked with a couple 45s so I asked one of the guys that was near it if he knew if anyone was using it. He said no so I started to take them off, and he helped me out. I wasn't struggling and have no problem with 45s, but he was just helping. He got one side, and I got the other. It was polite.
  • OneDimSim
    OneDimSim Posts: 188 Member
    And yes, I wasn't so sure if I was suppose to feel offended or not because my embarassment took over feeling that way lol. But maybe you guys are right, that he could of said it in a nicer way. Maybe like, "Do you need help?" Instead of saying that it would take me half an hour to remove it.....

    yeah...don't sweat it....and definitely don't let it drive you away from doing your *thang* - he was trying to be nice I think. I hate it when the boys leave those massive weights on there anyway.....

    It is a time-honored and common fear we women have of the "the big boy's weight room" - get in there and claim your place! No need for embarrassment! Good for you for getting in there in the first place!
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    When it's written down it's impossible to tell whether the guy said it gruffly like a jerk, or playfully with a twinkle in his eye.

    The bottom line is that he helped you. Now you need to get rid of the insecurity and just work out.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    Yes I would have found it rude and been offended ESPECIALLY because most likely some *kitten* man left it there. RE RACK YOUR *kitten* WEIGHTS!
  • Healingnutritionsolutions
    Healingnutritionsolutions Posts: 134 Member
    I would so have been like, "sure can you just show me how to do this right... someone else sure didn't know how..." then "thanks, I got this now, appreciate it." (Dismissed).
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    Ehh, he's just socially awkward. I guess he was trying to help in his own way.
  • BattleTaxi
    BattleTaxi Posts: 752 Member
    When it's written down it's impossible to tell whether the guy said it gruffly like a jerk, or playfully with a twinkle in his eye.

    The bottom line is that he helped you. Now you need to get rid of the insecurity and just work out.

    This^
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    Yes I would have found it rude and been offended ESPECIALLY because most likely some *kitten* man left it there. RE RACK YOUR *kitten* WEIGHTS!

    I have seen just as many women forget to re-rack their weights in the gym.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?

    Personally, I wouldn't be offended. I would have smiled sheepishly and thanked him. I had a young man help me out like this when I was first lifting many years ago, and I was grateful for the assistance.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    Yes I would have found it rude and been offended ESPECIALLY because most likely some *kitten* man left it there. RE RACK YOUR *kitten* WEIGHTS!

    I have seen just as many women forget to re-rack their weights in the gym.

    "Forget"
    That's cute.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    Yes I would have found it rude and been offended ESPECIALLY because most likely some *kitten* man left it there. RE RACK YOUR *kitten* WEIGHTS!

    I have seen just as many women forget to re-rack their weights in the gym.

    Personally, I like to murmer (loudly) to myself that just like at home, I am picking up boys toys...especially while I am racking up 225# for my deads. :laugh:
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    Yes I would have found it rude and been offended ESPECIALLY because most likely some *kitten* man left it there. RE RACK YOUR *kitten* WEIGHTS!

    I have seen just as many women forget to re-rack their weights in the gym.

    "Forget"
    That's cute.

    Yes, forget. People are human.

    U even lift?
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
    Yes I would have found it rude and been offended ESPECIALLY because most likely some *kitten* man left it there. RE RACK YOUR *kitten* WEIGHTS!

    i don't get upset about having to go through the action of re-racking weights, but more so the confusion if someone is still using it or not.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    I'm more offended by the OP's assumption that all of us women are afraid of the free weights section or the men who are lifting. I'm not, and never have been.

    OP, you needed help...guy saw you struggling, came over and helped you out. He didn't need to say what he did, but he did help you with the plate(s) you were struggling with. At that point, I hope you got over it and got on with your work out. I would have, even if I was a bit annoyed at his remark or annoyed with myself for struggling with the weights that some inconsiderate person left on the bar.

    Ask for help when you need it. Nobody has ever turned me down when I've asked for help with something or a spot.

    Also, earbuds. Focus on yourself and don't worry about anyone else.
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
    so long as he didn't use or imply "little lady" anywhere in the statement of "I'm going to help you because it looks like you're struggling"I don't se any reason to get offended.

    I'm 5'1 - when some idiot has left his 40 kg weights on the squat rack, and put that thing way above my reach, I won't even try to fix it, I'll ask for help. Firstly, because it is basic gym etiquette to clean up after oneself and re-rack the weights properly. Secondly, because if I drop one of those things on my toe, I risk serious injury. And thirdly, that's what the gym staff is for: to help.

    What you should have done is get loudly offended at whichever *insertswearwordhere* didn't clean up after himself.

    I am 4'11", so this 100%.

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