Women, would you take this offensively?

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  • bennysammysofie
    bennysammysofie Posts: 331
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    Get back in the kitchen and lift some pans. Wash them after cooking my dinner. U shouldn't be allowed to even go to the gym
  • myuhmaya
    myuhmaya Posts: 71 Member
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    Oh, don't get embarrassed sweetheart! His **** is probably tiny.
  • Tamstar1985
    Tamstar1985 Posts: 334 Member
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    the guy was probably trying to be helpful, it just came out wrong :) don't be afraid of the weight room.

    sometimes i get very shy in my gym's lifting area because i am the only woman who lifts there. also, i live in a relatively small city in china, so i am also the only white woman lifting there. i stick out like a sore thumb! a lot of the older guys will stare at me like i'm crazy, but then i just crank up the tunes and ignore them. to add to this, i get a major boost of confidence when i see guys doing super light deadlifts in the smith squat machine with terrible form, meanwhile i am doing proper DLs @ 1 x my bodyweight or more. sweeeeeet!
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?
    i'm a cranky, grumpy feminist who gets offended by pretty much everything... and I would have laughed.

    he was absolutely honest and absolutely right.
  • GordonWayneWatts
    GordonWayneWatts Posts: 120 Member
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    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?
    Heck yeah that was rude! While it may have been an inconvenience to him, he should have offered to help you -and asked NOTHING in return --I occasionally offend people (I am a bit talkative and opinionated), but this guy sounds like he did it on purpose!

    Yes, you should go to the gym: More people are normal and willing to help you than the opposite. Go at your own pace, but do try to meet your goals -whether or not others approve of them, they are your goals, not theirs -- don't give up: There really are many people out there in the local gyms that are willing to help you, and perhaps you can help them too. Be safe, train hard, and have fun!
  • She_Hulk
    She_Hulk Posts: 277
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    I would have chuckled at that. I *think* he was trying to be nice. He made light out of what was turning into an awkward situation for you. You shouldn't have had to take the plate off in the first place. Is it too much to ask for people to put their sh@% back? Clean up after yourselves, people! Your momma don't work here!
  • Catlady87
    Catlady87 Posts: 302 Member
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    Sounds like he was trying to help you, but the way he said it wasn't very good. He didn't stand there and laugh at you or tell you you didn't belong in that room did he?
    I wouldn't take offense and the next time you see him say hi or something
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,207 Member
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    Maybe he was just awkward. Depending on HOW he said that, he could have been trying to lighten the moment. He could have been trying to explain why he was helping without embarrassing you (since you really were struggling), but not everyone's a natural.
  • chancock6
    chancock6 Posts: 87
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    All he had to say was, "Would you like some help?" or "Here, let me help you with that." The way he went about it was rude, and I probably would have blushed and left. Yeah, it would embarrass me. I'm sorry it happened to you. :(
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?

    I have to disagree that you are strong if you can't lift a 45 pound weight. Not making fun of you, but 45 isn;t very heavy. Like a bag of dog food,.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    not EVERYTHING is about men vs. women. I work out and i do the weights. as a matter of fact, when i asked the female instructor to show me how to use the free weights she kept trying to convince me that "it's too much for you". i finally just did it on my own. I take off plates when I can, and if i know that I can't, i ask for help - there is no shame in that. I can't lift the 40 kg plates because I am not strong enough yet - NOT because I am a weak woman. trust me - there are plenty of males in the world who can't lift 4 kilo, let alone FORTY.

    PEOPLE (not specifically men or women) in the weight rooms will leave you alone for the most part. if you ask for help they will usually help. if you ask for help on a specific move or they will show you how it's done.

    You know men who can't lift 8.8 pounds? Are they in diapers still?
  • woodwardtm
    woodwardtm Posts: 361 Member
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    I suppose it depends on the tone of his voice or how he said it.
    If you are going to go to lift and don't know how to remove the weights or can't, you would be further ahead to ask for help. That way you are not struggling and people aren't staring wondering if you need help or if they should offer. Ask the gym attendant to show you the proper way to remove it/change it or ask if a member has time to show you how it is done. When you are not struggling with it, you will feel better about going and can do what you need to without feeling self-conscious. Don't give up. Everyone starts somewhere!
  • sarah_lou22
    sarah_lou22 Posts: 79
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    I think that it was nice of him to help you -- at least there is that :) he does need to work on his delivery though haha
  • jstarz002
    jstarz002 Posts: 176
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    I would have said "NO THANKS, IVE GOT IT". You have to be assertive and aggressive. If you don't want help then it's perfectly fine to say NO.

    As for me I would have been EXTREMELY offended but that is because I take pride in being strong and not needing help from anyone. Btw, I am under 100 lbs and carry a 45lb plate with one hand when re-racking so I DEF do not need any man helping me with the weight... 45 lbs is light for me despite my small size.

    I don't give anyone even an opportunity to help me or give me advice. It's either "NO THANKS" or "NO THANKS, I do not need your unsolicited advice" all without EVER taking out my headphones. Or simply point to your headphones and say "I AM BUSY". The only thing i will respond to at the gym is when someone asks me how many sets i have left and i also do not bother to take out my earbuds; i just hod up my fingers and say "3 sets left". That's it.
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    Too much read
  • VoicelessRide
    VoicelessRide Posts: 395 Member
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    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?

    Do not let idiots change your personal goals,,,,I know i would have respectfully helped you
  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
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    I wouldn't get offended...

    If I was unable to remove the weight, I would have asked him to help me (or someone else nearby).
  • Microfiber
    Microfiber Posts: 956 Member
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    I'm female and I found it hilarious :laugh: :laugh:
  • Lemongrab1
    Lemongrab1 Posts: 158 Member
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    Maybe I'm reading into this wrong, or maybe I'm just a *kitten*, but it sounds to me like you need to buck up a bit.
    You went in there with the mindset that you were too weak to fit in with the men, then got bent out of shape when someone pointed out you were indeed too weak (at the moment) to fit in with the men.
    If you are indeed a 'strong woman', then go back there and keep on practising until you improve your strength.
    You don't need to be able to squat a tankard on your first day. Take it a step at a time.
  • JaxDemon
    JaxDemon Posts: 403 Member
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    Tbh if there's a guy who knows what he's doing with the weights and you want to learn how to use them and someone comes up to help you I would find it the perfect opportunity to pick the guys brains even if he is a douche. Remember you're at the Gym for you not him so it's beneficial to your life to learn.

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