Still seeing the fat girl..

I don't know if everyone goes through still seeing themselves as bigger... but I know my mind is behind when I look in the mirror. I don't really have any advice since you've obviously taken pictures... that's the only thing that worked for me in helping. And trying on new/old clothes. I was shocked when I could fit into my old clothes.

I still see myself as fat. I am also trying to come up with a way to see myself as I actually am. I wish I had advice to give to you. The only thing I can says, you are not alone.

I'd have to say it's pretty normal to see "what's left" instead of "what's gone" - it is for me anyhow.

I'm paraphrasing a passage from a book by Neale Donald Walsh that's largely about finding peace in the world that goes something like this....

The more you accomplish, the more you realize how much more you could achieve than what you originally set out to do - it's human nature to keep raising the bar as we approach it. The more you improve, the more improvement you become aware of that you could still do.

I'm in way better health now than I was 5 years ago, yet I see more room for improvement now than I did when I was just starting out.

Could it be that?

I still see the fat girl too..I went from 190 pounds to 128 and I see no difference in the mirror except my clothes size. I think it is the fact I grew up fat that is all. Working out makes me feel always better in those cases plus the old clothes too

I have this...I am not even done losing the weight, almost half way though!
Some times when I look in the mirror, i see fat (especially when im feeling bloated) and I get discouraged. The most bizarre is when I am sitting on the couch...I feel like I still have a bunch of rolls or my tummy is sticking out. When I go to feel...nothing is there anymore. Sometimes I feel my love handles are sticking out...i go to feel, and my back is flat.

What I find helps...is that I stare at myself in the mirror for a long period of time. Especially in a flattering outfit or when I am having a non-bloated day! This one is also very weird...but I feel myself all over, usually while I am about to sleep. I feel my arms, my thighs, my back, my butt, my boobs, my tummy...my hips - everything. It is crazy how in the dark, I imagine myself to be so much bigger, but when I feel myself, nothing is what I vision it to feel like. I have done this once a day for a week...and I really felt like my brain was catching up with my body shape/size.

I was 30+ pounds overweight and I have lost most of it. I feel better about myself, but I still feel like a fat girl. I don't think it matters if you have 100 pounds to lose or 30... how we perceive ourselves is what matters. I will eat something unhealthy and complain about it (poor me, huh?) when the girls at work will be like?! "What are you complaining about?!?! You're tiny!" I will never believe them. I just laugh and know that I am always going to be a fat girl at heart. I still look in the mirror after losing the weight over 6 months ago and am surprised not to see a double chin or fat arms in my reflection. I think it will take awhile for me to accept and believe that I am skinny. I don't know what it will take, or how long, but I am hoping that eventually it will sink in and I can be proud of what I look like and feel like.

Sorry, I don't know if that answers your question, just know that you aren't alone.

This topic is near and dear to my heart. Over the years i have gained up to 230lb and been as light as 110lb (admittedly a very long time ago now) and I always look the same in the mirror. So not only do I not see the losses.. I don't see the gains either. My brain lives at about 190lb. No matter what. And I dont see weight gain or loss on other people much either. They would have to lose TONNES of weight before I will see it. And I have no idea why. Been that way all my life. So I might try the feeling my body thing in bed and see if it helps. Cause mirror time, photos and loose clothing really doesn't change my perception.

I see myself as heavier even though people tell me I have lose weight and I can no longer fit into certain clothes. I don't have anything intelligent to say to get rid of it....mine is due to my bulimia history. I do know that society, with women in particular, has conditioned people to obsess over weight. Everywhere you look fashion magazines put in celebs that look so wonderful in their bikini bodies, and shaming those who dare get to a size 8. With me, while I do like progress I always have a fear that I will become heavier than I want to be again, which will trigger the old cycle again. I am afraid to see the current good when I fear it will be all taken away again I guess. You aren't alone in your thinking, even if the reasons why vary.

I would say it is normal. I think most people, and I stress most, battle with self image. I was different than you in that I for the longest time saw a skeleton/bean pole in the mirror when I looked, I had several friends yell at me, telling me that I was crazy, because I was in pretty good shape. Even as I got older, stopped working out and balloned up, I got up to 250, I could not see the weight gain, until I looked in pictures. Now as I come down, I battle between wanting to be healthy and trying to figure out what healthy is.

You want to set me off, pull out the old BMI index, which says that I am not overweight, but obese.

I think you need a number though, just to give you something to aim for, and to see progress, but I do not think any number is locked in stone. But it tells you, "hey I accomplished this, what else can I do?" And I think that is the key, as you get closer to the number, recognize that you can change it.

The key is feeling happy and confident in your own skin. (OK, so health might play a role too.) But the reality is you are not alone.

It's not just you, it's literally your brain. When your brain is used to seeing something (like your reflection) it starts taking shortcuts. Instead of taking in your reflection as completely new information, your brain uses its memory to fill in some of what it sees, kind of like when your phone auto-fills in a word that you type all the time. This is why it takes us such a long time to notice changes in ourselves and the people close to us, whereas if you see a friend from our of town and she has lost 10 pounds, you are more likely to notice because your brain is processing her image as all new information. This is why you hear so many women say "I woke up one morning and had suddenly gained 30 pounds!" The brain had finally replaced the old version with the newest version.
Spend more time looking at pictures of yourself. The brain processes pictures differently than your reflection. Also start paying attention to your body in relation to things. Pick a pair of pants and instead of trying them on in front of a mirror, have this pair of pants be mirror free. As you lose weight you will notice them fitting better and getting looser, and you won't be as vulnerable to the mental tricks of the mirror. You see the fat girl because your brain is still catching up with your body changes. Don't use the mirror as your sense of self esteem. Finish a great workout and know that you just got a little stronger. Try on a new pair of pants and know that you wouldn't have been able to fit in them a year ago. Set goals that aren't appearance related. Your brain can trick you about what you look like but it can't trick you about how fast you run a 5k, or how much weight you lift at the gym. If you are experiencing sure signs that you are getting fitter (clothes are getting looser, etc) than rest assured that your appearance is changing and you just need to give your brain some time to show you the true you in the mirror.

I know how you feel. When I lost alot of weigh 9 years ago I felt the same way. Ppl would tell me how good I looked but I didnt really see it. I must admit that I was a person with depression at the time and most of my life back then. I also had low self esteem. It wasnt because I grew up heavy or anything, there were other reasons that are besides the point. What I did do is take a lot of pics. I could see the dif on pics but not in the mirror which was weird to me. I still wore big clothes thinking I was still big until one day I went to the dressing rm to grab a 16, then a 14, then...all the way down to an 8 or 9. I couldn't believe it! Eventhough the pics showed it, but the mirror didn't to me. The true relection of yourself is in your head. How do "you" really feel about yourself, at least it was for me. I didn't even realize that I suffered from depression until I was no longer suffering, not saying that you are. What I did do was look in the mirror everyday and tell myself, I love myself, you are beautiful, and thin (or whatever word I said for smaller) I actually said these words over and over daily before I went all the way down. After a while, I started believing that I WAS beautiful and I could see the change finally. It felt weird to "talk" to myself but I felt it was worth trying. And it worked. To this day, I don't have low self esteem (it took more work than self talk to get over low esteem and depression for me) and although I'm larger now, I still feel that I'm beautiful and I love myself. Of course I dont like the fat rolls but I think you get my point. In conclusion, maybe you should take lots of pics and put next to old pics and tell yourself that you are not that same person and that you have come a long way. BUT then again maybe you are the same person. Maybe the issue is internally. Only you would know that...

THIS^^^
I could have written this. Even 4-5 months ago, when my trainer ( a really hot 25 year old guy) would tell me that he could see changes in my back and shoulders, I couldn't see it. Now I have random people at the gym walking up to me and telling me that I am working super hard, and they can see my progress...and I have trouble seeing it. Last month I had a kid young enough to be my son proposition me, and I honestly don't know WHY.

What I DO know is that there ARE little changes in my body. I have hip bones now. I don't have as much back fat now. This might be a little TMI for some people...I had a c-section almost 14 years ago, and most of my flubber hangs over the scar. Back 6-9 months ago ( when laying down) I had to use 2 hands to move my flubber if I wanted to feel the scar. Now I can reach the scar without moving flubber, and can actually cup what flubber I have left in one hand.

A few weeks ago I had a dream, and I actually felt more at peace when I woke up. In my dream I was looking in the mirror, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a lady in yoga pants and a sports bra. She had *some* ab definition, but the softer look of a higher body fat %. I thought " I would KILL to have abs like that. I could be really happy if I looked like that". Then I turned to look straight at the woman...and it was ME!! Those were MY abs I was drooling over!

Before i start, i would like to say that im looking for advice, not sympathy.

It doesnt matter to me what other people think of me, so there is no need for anyone to say that... it matters to me what *I* think of me.. but im wondering if this is NORMAL.. do all people who go through a large weight loss also go through a transitional period where they still see fat chick? Do they ever get used to seeing the actual reflection in the mirror? How long does it take? Im just looking for advice. Here is kind of whats going on in my head:

It doesn't matter what i do, what i weigh or how much weight i lose..

I still see the fat girl in the mirror! It pisses me off! I eat pretty well, i exercise despite every challenge that gets in my way..

Ive had two strokes, i have massive health issues and I struggle with pain every day of my life.. yet ive lost weight.
Ive promised myself never to set a goal.. not to let a number define me.. is that where I went wrong? Do i NEED some "final" goal?

Why do i still see myself as the fat girl? Will i ever be proud of the image I've become?? (Not WHO I've become, because i LOVE that girl! but the image..)

Just as a reference, I started out a 246 pounds on June 28th, 2012 and i am currently 162.4 pounds. Im 5'5 1/2 inches tall. I have before & afters in my pictures.. the most current is the one with my profile picture in them.

Thanks ahead for the advice. :flowerforyou:

I struggle everyday.... I have no idea what I look like... I buy my clothes too big, I think the sizes thatdo fit (size 8) look too tiny... Its crazy... I'm more self conscious now than I ever was at 305.... It makes me uncomfortable when people refer to me as "skinny or slim".... I had no idea that the weight loss would effect me this way... So I completely understand where you're coming from....

I so feel your pain. I am 5' 5" also. I currently weigh 186. I have lost 139 pounds. I am very muscular (plus have a lot of loose skin). I wear 10/12 pants and 12/14 shirts (thanks to being a 38DD lol). Yeah I still have some fat and could stand to lose a few more pounds (probably 25 or so) but I doubt I ever get to 140 like the BMI chart recommends. Anyway somedays I feel good about myself and think I look great but other days I think dang I'm still fat.

The more you accomplish, the more you realize how much more you could achieve than what you originally set out to do - it's human nature to keep raising the bar as we approach it. The more you improve, the more improvement you become aware of that you could still do.

^^Could it be said any better than that? This is a major flaw of mine!