I want to lose weight but have no willpower.....help!

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  • spuds1316
    spuds1316 Posts: 28 Member
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    I go through similar patterns myself of starting the day well and full of enthusiasm and struggling by late afternoon. I find that eating healthier versions of my favourite foods does help and there are some fab recipes on here to use. I just tell myself its a marathon not a sprint and take each day as it comes. Add me as a friend for support if you like.
  • rieann84
    rieann84 Posts: 511 Member
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    Open up your diary to get better help. If you wreck everything by lunchtime, make sure you get a hearty breakfast, snacks in hand and PLAN ahead for lunch!! Not going to lie..if you're used to eating large amounts of food and you cut down your portions, you might feel a bit hungry. Half the time that crap is just in your head out of habit and you are not ACTUALLY hungry & needing food. You shouldn't be light-headed! Check the forums for calorie recommendations and make sure you are getting everything you need.

    I hear you on willpower. I get complacent and tell myself that it's "not that bad" but guess what, it IS! I got a swift kick in the *kitten* when I saw a picture of myself in a dress I THOUGHT I looked okay in. Maybe get on your swimsuit to take some before pictures and have a good look at yourself. Is that what you want to look like? Are you going to settle for that?? Hell NO..you deserve better! Be healthy, good luck :D
  • LoseWithLaurie
    LoseWithLaurie Posts: 64 Member
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    First of all, I can relate. I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!

    Secondly, your ENTIRE problem is that you do NOT want it bad enough. Period.
    There are no tips or tricks that will somehow make you want it enough to commit to it. It's committing 27/4 to your long term goal, versus stuffing your face and no one here can help you with that, as has already been pointed out.



    All the sugar-coatery in the world won't help you want this....when you're ready, you will do it.

    I hope this helps, because it sincerely is intended to.
    Make it happen!!!
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    .... and have no willpower...

    well, there's the problem.

    We can tell you tips/tricks/strategies/how-to all day long. If you don't have the will-power to do it, then that's on you... not us.
    I really want to lose the weight

    This is the best piece of advice I have read regarding support.

    No, not yet you don't. When you do, you will. You'll take control. It isn't about support or help or random internet strangers. They aren't gonna be there when you wake up at 3AM and decide to raid the fridge... but guess who is.... you. You will be. Do it for you, when you're ready to.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    .... and have no willpower...

    well, there's the problem.

    We can tell you tips/tricks/strategies/how-to all day long. If you don't have the will-power to do it, then that's on you... not us.
    I really want to lose the weight

    No, not yet you don't. When you do, you will. You'll take control. It isn't about support or help or random internet strangers. They aren't gonna be there when you wake up at 3AM and decide to raid the fridge... but guess who is.... you. You will be. Do it for you, when you're ready to.

    ^^This, plus "suck it up, buttercup".
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,583 Member
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    So
    Will power doesn't matter, it's about consistent determination.

    and
    Meal planning is an incredible tool, if it is possible for you to plan for a week at a time, because you bring only what is necessary from the grocery store and have to focus only on a day at a time, the meals for that day.

    don't match.


    If the OP has no will power and can't be determined enough to stick to what they plan for a day (as they admit) then planning for a week isn't going to help...

    ...without having the will-power to do so. Again, we can give the OP tips all day. Until they decide that they're worth making the change for, it isn't going to be useful to them.

    Same with telling someone to reading the book about cake and skinny jeans... we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.
  • glitzy73
    glitzy73 Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you all for the advice - I think it's true that I get overwhelmed so making one change at a time is the best way forward, I've always been an all or nothing person and I think that it would be easier for my body to cope with small changes rather than go from feast to famine!

    One Day at a Time is also a great mantra and with two recovering addicts in my immediate family you'd think it would be second nature for me to live by that rule, but my dad has achieved 35 years sobriety by having the support in the meetings. Hopefully having the support here will help me. Frustratingly, I've gained and lost the same weight twice before - I know I can do it!

    Thank you again!

    Ps I'm in the UK - I'm sure if I did feel tempted to get up and raid the fridge a 3am that there would be somebody online to chat to in a different time zone?
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    So
    Will power doesn't matter, it's about consistent determination.

    and
    Meal planning is an incredible tool, if it is possible for you to plan for a week at a time, because you bring only what is necessary from the grocery store and have to focus only on a day at a time, the meals for that day.

    don't match.


    If the OP has no will power and can't be determined enough to stick to what they plan for a day (as they admit) then planning for a week isn't going to help...

    ...without having the will-power to do so. Again, we can give the OP tips all day. Until they decide that they're worth making the change for, it isn't going to be useful to them.

    Same with telling someone to reading the book about cake and skinny jeans... we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.
    Did it occur to you that OP connects the word will-power to something negative right now? There's no need to dissect my writing to her, because clearly you and I don't view the situation from the same perspective.
  • Apacheskicass
    Apacheskicass Posts: 8 Member
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    I am with you! I have started and stopped to many times. I always seem to eat late at night when I go to bed! Finally I am back and MFP has been a great help and I am always looking for new friends so add me if you want and we can help each other!
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,583 Member
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    Did it occur to you that OP connects the word will-power to something negative right now? There's no need to dissect my writing to her, because clearly you and I don't view the situation from the same perspective.
    Sure did. That's her problem. It is a negative thing. She doesn't want change bad enough to enforce it. As far as dissecting your advice, that's fine. I just don't understand how you can magically tell someone "hey, just do it" since they said "I can't do it since I don't really have control." Telling someone to plan meals is FANTASTIC advice, if their capable of making the change in their behavior to match it.

    ...buuuuut they start off with saying that they aren't capable of will-power...

    ..sooo... yeah...
  • lexoxoc
    lexoxoc Posts: 135 Member
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    It's not an easy road. In the beginning, when I first cut my calories, I got the same lightheaded feeling. Honestly, I just ignored the lightheadedness, drank water, and disciplined myself. After a week of sticking through it I felt better and after two weeks I knew I could make this change. You have to realize that your body is going to react in the beginning because it's so use to you over-eating. My philosophy is: Although it's hard, if you WANT to really lose the weight, then you WILL. It could be that you're not ready or not fully committed to a change. Unfortunately, YOU have to find your willpower, we can't give it to you.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I am with you! I have started and stopped to many times. I always seem to eat late at night when I go to bed! Finally I am back and MFP has been a great help and I am always looking for new friends so add me if you want and we can help each other!
    Add me too if you like. I've overcome the biggest hurdle in my own journey (and yes, some here seem to puke at that word, but it's my journey all the same) and have extra energy to kick your behind in motion if you need for someone to just that - nicely :)
  • Seesawboomerang
    Seesawboomerang Posts: 296 Member
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    Don't diet. Don't try to cut down your calorie intake.

    Just weigh it all, log it all, try to make healthier choices, and exercise.

    A sense of accountability will creep in, or at least a more realistic awareness of *your choices*.

    What you do with that is entirely up to you.
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
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    we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.

    Actually, willpower is a very complicated thing and something we all have limited quantities of. There have been a lot of really interesting studies on it which I can dig up later if you're interested. We have a set amount which can be used up over the course of the day. It's weaker when we are physically or mentally drained. Some people have more than others, but we can also develop willpower by practicing it.

    IMO, not only is willpower not necessary for weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight, it isn't even sufficient. We have to change our attitude about food. I agree with you that a person has to be ready for change and to hold themselves accountable.
  • glitzy73
    glitzy73 Posts: 6 Member
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    If the OP has no will power and can't be determined enough to stick to what they plan for a day (as they admit) then planning for a week isn't going to help...

    ...without having the will-power to do so. Again, we can give the OP tips all day. Until they decide that they're worth making the change for, it isn't going to be useful to them.

    Same with telling someone to reading the book about cake and skinny jeans... we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.
    [/quote]

    Sorry what's an OP?
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    I agree with planning ahead. Maybe not a whole week, but from day to day. I treat my calories and macros like a puzzle... I want to make the pieces fit as best they can.

    And just because you're losing weight doesn't mean your food can't be delicious. I might not be able to eat everything I want all the time, but I want everything I eat. It's all yummy. I'm never cringing before a meal, thinking, "Oh, god... not grilled chicken and steamed broccoli again!"
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
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    Hello, I'm new here,

    I've just turned 40 and have no willpower to stick at a diet - I start the day full of high hope but then seem to sabotage my healthy eating plans by lunchtime. I love food!!! if I try and cut down portions I get light headed so end up bingeing.

    I've only got 20lbs to lose which I know doesn't seem a lot but it's 2 dress sizes, I'm living in elasticated trousers and skirts because I refuse to buy bigger clothes. I really want to lose the weight I just need some help and support, I want to feel good about myself again x

    It would help if we could see what you are eating. Sometimes the inability to stick to a plan--especially if you only have 20 pounds to lose--is that you are too severely restricting your calories. With only 20 pounds to lose, MFP recommends that you aim for no more than a half-pound loss per week. Nutrition is also VERY important. If you eat 1500 calories worth of candy, you are much less likely to be able to stick to that, than you would to 1500 calories worth of good nutrition (because your body would be starving for nutrients on the candy diet). If you will open your food diary, we can make more comments. :smile:
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    we can just tell the OP "Hey OP, just figure out how much you need to eat and do that." But that wouldn't work, right? No. It wouldn't. They have to hold themselves accountable. Hell, admitting that they have no willpower was the dead giveaway for me. They aren't ready for change, they made that point in their first post.

    Actually, willpower is a very complicated thing and something we all have limited quantities of. There have been a lot of really interesting studies on it which I can dig up later if you're interested. We have a set amount which can be used up over the course of the day. It's weaker when we are physically or mentally drained. Some people have more than others, but we can also develop willpower by practicing it.

    IMO, not only is willpower not necessary for weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight, it isn't even sufficient. We have to change our attitude about food. I agree with you that a person has to be ready for change and to hold themselves accountable.
    Thanks for the info! It's interesting.

    My idea was that through making decisions easier by having a meal plan available, you cut down on the amount of decisions necessary to make in times when the mind might be wavering. Obviously you don't start from a meal plan, if you're still having troubles finding the strength to do even one of these lifestyle-change related habits consistently - say drink enough water during the day - but it could help when things go south around lunch time, once you've created a bit of momentum here.
  • Tum22
    Tum22 Posts: 102 Member
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    Ditto! I also live in elasticated leggings. Just would liked to get back into my old jeans. Every day is also high hopes but by the evening have a couple of glasses of wine and some chocolate and crisps. If you find the answer or motivation let me know. Otherwise good luck!
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
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    Trog is right. When you want to do it, you will. I have been going at this ish since January and have not lost more than 10lbs. Why? Because I like beer, I am still eating at pretty much maintenance and well the rest is just not trying my hardest. I could think of all the excuses in the world but the reality is, I wont do this till I am ready.

    I am continually working out so there is that. :drinker:

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