Still seeing the fat girl..

I look okay standing up. but sitting down......I STILL FEEL like Jabba the Hut.

I look okay standing up. but sitting down......I STILL FEEL like Jabba the Hut.

^^LOL! Oh my gosh! Yes!!!! Me too!

OP- I agree that you should keep taking pictures...it isn't vain. And save your old big clothes and put them on your new body every now and then. That helps me feel the real difference, because when I look in the mirror I still see the same fat girl looking back.

I know how you feel. When I lost alot of weigh 9 years ago I felt the same way. Ppl would tell me how good I looked but I didnt really see it. I must admit that I was a person with depression at the time and most of my life back then. I also had low self esteem. It wasnt because I grew up heavy or anything, there were other reasons that are besides the point. What I did do is take a lot of pics. I could see the dif on pics but not in the mirror which was weird to me. I still wore big clothes thinking I was still big until one day I went to the dressing rm to grab a 16, then a 14, then...all the way down to an 8 or 9. I couldn't believe it! Eventhough the pics showed it, but the mirror didn't to me. The true relection of yourself is in your head. How do "you" really feel about yourself, at least it was for me. I didn't even realize that I suffered from depression until I was no longer suffering, not saying that you are. What I did do was look in the mirror everyday and tell myself, I love myself, you are beautiful, and thin (or whatever word I said for smaller) I actually said these words over and over daily before I went all the way down. After a while, I started believing that I WAS beautiful and I could see the change finally. It felt weird to "talk" to myself but I felt it was worth trying. And it worked. To this day, I don't have low self esteem (it took more work than self talk to get over low esteem and depression for me) and although I'm larger now, I still feel that I'm beautiful and I love myself. Of course I dont like the fat rolls but I think you get my point. In conclusion, maybe you should take lots of pics and put next to old pics and tell yourself that you are not that same person and that you have come a long way. BUT then again maybe you are the same person. Maybe the issue is internally. Only you would know that...

THIS^^^
I could have written this. Even 4-5 months ago, when my trainer ( a really hot 25 year old guy) would tell me that he could see changes in my back and shoulders, I couldn't see it. Now I have random people at the gym walking up to me and telling me that I am working super hard, and they can see my progress...and I have trouble seeing it. Last month I had a kid young enough to be my son proposition me, and I honestly don't know WHY.

What I DO know is that there ARE little changes in my body. I have hip bones now. I don't have as much back fat now. This might be a little TMI for some people...I had a c-section almost 14 years ago, and most of my flubber hangs over the scar. Back 6-9 months ago ( when laying down) I had to use 2 hands to move my flubber if I wanted to feel the scar. Now I can reach the scar without moving flubber, and can actually cup what flubber I have left in one hand.

A few weeks ago I had a dream, and I actually felt more at peace when I woke up. In my dream I was looking in the mirror, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a lady in yoga pants and a sports bra. She had *some* ab definition, but the softer look of a higher body fat %. I thought " I would KILL to have abs like that. I could be really happy if I looked like that". Then I turned to look straight at the woman...and it was ME!! Those were MY abs I was drooling over!