What in the world is wrong with me???

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piersons
piersons Posts: 51 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have noticed an unhealthy and unsettling pattern in my progress. Everytime I start doing well and experience victories, I sabotage myself by letting go, being undisciplined, and end up taking 10 steps back. Why do I do this? Is it my unhealthy association with food? In my family we traditionally celebrate anything and everything, highs and lows, joys and sorrows with food. Sometimes I consider a large slice of carrot cake with extra cream cheese icing as a "reward" for doing well on my health quest or as a treat when I'm feeling down. How ridiculous is that? Yesterday I had a scale victory and reached a milestone that I'd been striving for. You would think this would motivate me to keep doing the right things..... but no, I rewarded myself with a sugar/starch/carb overload. I need help. How do you reward/console yourself and what have you incorporated in your lifestyle to substitute poor eating habits?
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Replies

  • Jdubmarie
    Jdubmarie Posts: 66 Member
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    I have totally been there! And still tend to do that!!! I'm friend requesting you so we can chat more :)
  • KombuchaCat
    KombuchaCat Posts: 834 Member
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    So been there! I struggle with this all the time. I lose some weight, feel good, and then suddenly think I can just stop doing the good things I've been doing. It's a constant stuggle but right now I'm focusing on day to day consistency.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Personally for me, I don't give myself food rewards. I'm a stress/emotional eater and I would eat to cope/celebrate etc. So when I reach milestones, I buy myself new makeup, get my hair done, nails, buy me some gourmet coffee, candles..I love candles. Something new for the house. I get things, that are improvements, except the coffee, I just love it!! :)
  • luckynky
    luckynky Posts: 123 Member
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    I reward myself by feeling proud, not by eating something. I've noticed that when I eat bad stuff, it's usually because I'm feeling down and defeated about something. But I see progress as something that does motivate me to keep doing the right thing. I know that eating high calorie foods is going to undo my progress, so I'm not tempted at that point. Maybe you could start rewarding yourself in some other way. Think about some other things in your life that make your happy, especially activities. Also, always stick to your calorie goal, so if you want a piece of cake, make sure you have room to fit it in.
  • obum88
    obum88 Posts: 262 Member
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    There right now! It's been a week now! I don't know why.........
  • twistygirl
    twistygirl Posts: 517 Member
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    You just wrote the story of my life:(
  • jillmarie125
    jillmarie125 Posts: 418 Member
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    I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think most people have been where you are. Instead of food rewards, I like to shop. Even if it is just for new nail polish. Are you completely restricting your diet? If so, that might make it really hard to stop rewarding with food. I noticed when I was eating too little, all I could think about was food. If i made it thru the week, I could have pizza and chicken wings for dinner on friday...that type of thing. Well Friday night would turn into a whole weekend of bad eating. So make sure you are eating enough everyday and allow for "fun" food. Work it into your calories. You may not need to reward yourself with food anymore, because you CAN eat the good stuff too!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    This may sound mean but it may also open your eyes a bit... Stop rewarding yourself with food, you are not a dog!!

    My other thought on this is that you may be scared of the changes weight loss will bring. Will people make comments (negative or positive, it's extra attention you may not want), will anyone notice, will I change? Etc Etc. All change is scary to a degree so it's perfectly normal to feel this way. But you have to confront it and get over it. Trust me, I've had those fears too! It's hard but you can do it.

    Another thing that may help is for you to set some really solid goals. And I don't mean x amount of pounds by x date. Things like weekly/monthly eating/exercise goals to help you improve things slowly as well as long term goals. This month you will log every thing you eat regardless of whether or not it's "on plan". Next week you will increase your veg and fruit intake. The next month you'll plan more meals to make at home. The next week you'll walk at least 3 times per week for 3 miles.
    Whatever the goals may be. Pick what you want and make a plan and stick to it!
  • nealwalk
    nealwalk Posts: 11 Member
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    Nothing wrong with you. You're human. As a society, in general, I believe we have been trained from our earliest years to develop extremely strong preferences towards extremely unhealthy foods and drinks. I think about the way I grew up and it is seriously a wonder that I am not in worse shape than I am.

    I grew up with sodas in the refrigerator at all times. When I would get home from school I would eat two or three hot dogs and then have several hostess cupcakes or ding dongs or twinkies. I would usually scarf down some variety of ice cream at night until I literally felt sick. I did that my entire childhood! Add to that the terrible nutritional value of school lunches and my goodness, how did I not die from a heart attack before age 30?? Luckily, I was naturally pretty lean up until my late 20's and was pretty regular working out with weights.

    I am 39 now and it has only been the last 10 years that I have come to understand and appreciate a healthy diet. But does that mean I am not enticed by my former unhealthy food choices? Not at all. I still struggle daily. I believe there's something strangely nostalgic about a lot of those unhealthy foods for me and for a lot of us. Drinking a Coke brings me back to earlier childhood days and that's hard to separate the two. Perhaps that is what is happening with you as well?

    Sorry to get all Dr. Phil lol. Just keep trying. In the research I've been doing lately on cheat days and cheat meals, I am commonly finding (from reputable fitness and nutrition instructors) that we should shoot for 32 out of 35 meals being healthy per week and having like 3 whatever meals. If you give yourself a few moments each week to do that, it obviously tastes great and satisfies that physical "need" for those unhealthier meals, but it may do something more. It may psychologically help you in that you can feel a few moments of "comfort" or nostalgia, then get right back on the healthy eating process again. If you know you'll at least have a few moments each week to have those whatever meals, then the task of eating healthier and exercising regularly doesn't seem so daunting in the long run (pun intended). Keep at it because I will be and I know I have the same struggles as you and so do many of us. You can be successful!!!
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
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    Like somebody else mentioned, I reward myself in ways other than eating. I'll go get a pedicure or a massage or treat myself to some new shoes :)

    I'm an emotional eater so it really helps to reward myself in other ways and establish those new habits. What also has helped me is to plan out everything I'm eating in advance. That way, when I really want that cupcake or other not-so-good-for-me treat, I'm forced to consider whether I'm eating it because I'm hungry, and whether it's really worth the impact on my numbers.

    One last thing I do: my husband and I completely eliminated all junk food from the house: no chips, no soda, no candy, ect. That way it's not as easy to get my hands on that stuff when I have a craving or want to eat emotionally. I'd have to go out and pick something up. This also forces me to think about whether it's really worth it to indulge, and usually I find a better alternative in our kitchen :)
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
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    Set one day aside every month where you can eat whatever you want instead of cheating daily or weekly. That way you can still eat the "junk" that you want without compromising your progress!
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
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    I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I've been there. I'm still struggling with it.

    Two things that I'd suggest:

    1. Find new ways to reward yourself. Whether it's retail therapy (buy yourself something cute for every ten pounds lost) or something as small as a sticker on the calendar every day that you're good, you need to break that habit of rewarding yourself with food. Once you find a substitute for the habit it will be a lot easier to break!

    2. Figure out if there's an emotional component keeping you from losing the weight. For me, I was using my weight as a shield from the rest of the world. I felt like I could hide myself under those extra 50 pounds, and as they came off I felt more and more exposed. Dealing with those emotions along with all the dieting and exercising has been a constant struggle, but I think it's the only way I'll be able to keep the weight off. It's different for everyone but you might try thinking about what you're feeling while you're eating and see if there's something else going on below the surface.

    Whatever it is, I know you'll find something that works for you! Just keep going!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I patiently wait until Saturday, then I buy treats. It's hard in our society not to use food for celebration or socializing. That's why I wait until Saturday. If I want some chips and beer, that happens on Saturday. If I want to go to the bar with the girls, it's on Saturday. If I want to go to a rib and chicken restaurant, I ask my fiance if we can go on Saturday. That's the magic day. Sometimes it's hard, because I want chocolate on a Wednesday, but I keep telling myself that the weekend is coming. I don't binge on saturday and make me regret the junk food, but I do indulge and I don't log :ohwell:
  • retirehappy
    retirehappy Posts: 4,754 Member
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    Nothing wrong with you. You are like the rest of us.

    I have lost and gained the same 40-50 lbs since 1981. I get the weight off after taking an ave. of 3 yrs. then take about 2 yrs to enjoy being the right size, then start to put it on again. I keep repeating that pattern. I was never over weight until 1981. It has taken me all these years to realize what triggered this in me. I am an emotional eater. It sounds totally crazy but one day when thinking about what changed for me, I could control myself just fine before that year. Then it came to me. The shock of John Lennon getting shoot down at his home, doing something as ordinary as opening a gate. The world had spun out of control that night. I sought comfort in food. Still do, if news is really upsetting, like 9/11, for example, I start up again. If someone I know and love dearly dies, I eat and eat. I had been blind to this pattern. Wondering what the heck is wrong with me. Turns out, I am just human and seek comfort in the legal drug of food.

    I think I have found the seed that feeds my bad eating habits, so now I can "embrace the tiger". Realizing why you turn to food as reward, comfort, or whatever is a complicated process. But worth the effort.

    I want to make this round of losing weight my last one. Since my aha moment, I have done nothing but the right steps to succeed.
    I am now tracking food, making much better food decisions, connecting with others who have the same goal as I do, getting healthy and eating right.
  • sadiebrawl
    sadiebrawl Posts: 863 Member
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    I have been gaining and losing the same 6-8 pounds for over a year.

    My thought is... it's REALLY hard to lose weight. And REALLY easy to gain it right?

    So, I work really hard for 3 weeks, I lose 6-8 pounds, then I get tired of working so hard to lose it, give up for a week or two, gain it back, get sad and motivated again, and the cycle continues.

    I'm hoping this month to realize when I get to the giving up week and push through... so my numbers will keep going down.. and I"m not celebrating the same 6 pounds into 2014.

    Good luck!
  • piersons
    piersons Posts: 51 Member
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    I know I'm not a dog, but I love food and it has been a reward for most of my life. If I didn't care about being fat and unhealthy then I would just eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Happy - eat, Sad - eat....
    Small, reachable goals are a great idea and I will definitely have to find another reward program. Thanks
  • piersons
    piersons Posts: 51 Member
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    This is a great idea. As a wife and mother I always tend to shy away from doing small things for myself. I give everything, every extra dollar/minute/whatever - it usually goes to them.
    Personally for me, I don't give myself food rewards. I'm a stress/emotional eater and I would eat to cope/celebrate etc. So when I reach milestones, I buy myself new makeup, get my hair done, nails, buy me some gourmet coffee, candles..I love candles. Something new for the house. I get things, that are improvements, except the coffee, I just love it!! :)
  • piersons
    piersons Posts: 51 Member
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    So you understand exactly how I feel. I am confident that we can both break this cycle!
    I have been gaining and losing the same 6-8 pounds for over a year.

    My thought is... it's REALLY hard to lose weight. And REALLY easy to gain it right?

    So, I work really hard for 3 weeks, I lose 6-8 pounds, then I get tired of working so hard to lose it, give up for a week or two, gain it back, get sad and motivated again, and the cycle continues.

    I'm hoping this month to realize when I get to the giving up week and push through... so my numbers will keep going down.. and I"m not celebrating the same 6 pounds into 2014.

    Good luck!
  • piersons
    piersons Posts: 51 Member
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    Most of my slip ups do happen on the weekends when we tend to go out more. The problem is I DO Binge - and I don't log. It will be helpful if I can learn to enjoy my indulgences without going over board.
    I patiently wait until Saturday, then I buy treats. It's hard in our society not to use food for celebration or socializing. That's why I wait until Saturday. If I want some chips and beer, that happens on Saturday. If I want to go to the bar with the girls, it's on Saturday. If I want to go to a rib and chicken restaurant, I ask my fiance if we can go on Saturday. That's the magic day. Sometimes it's hard, because I want chocolate on a Wednesday, but I keep telling myself that the weekend is coming. I don't binge on saturday and make me regret the junk food, but I do indulge and I don't log :ohwell:
  • piersons
    piersons Posts: 51 Member
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    Thank you for the encouragement! I'm not giving up!
    I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I've been there. I'm still struggling with it.

    Two things that I'd suggest:

    1. Find new ways to reward yourself. Whether it's retail therapy (buy yourself something cute for every ten pounds lost) or something as small as a sticker on the calendar every day that you're good, you need to break that habit of rewarding yourself with food. Once you find a substitute for the habit it will be a lot easier to break!

    2. Figure out if there's an emotional component keeping you from losing the weight. For me, I was using my weight as a shield from the rest of the world. I felt like I could hide myself under those extra 50 pounds, and as they came off I felt more and more exposed. Dealing with those emotions along with all the dieting and exercising has been a constant struggle, but I think it's the only way I'll be able to keep the weight off. It's different for everyone but you might try thinking about what you're feeling while you're eating and see if there's something else going on below the surface.

    Whatever it is, I know you'll find something that works for you! Just keep going!

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