What in the world is wrong with me???
piersons
Posts: 51 Member
I have noticed an unhealthy and unsettling pattern in my progress. Everytime I start doing well and experience victories, I sabotage myself by letting go, being undisciplined, and end up taking 10 steps back. Why do I do this? Is it my unhealthy association with food? In my family we traditionally celebrate anything and everything, highs and lows, joys and sorrows with food. Sometimes I consider a large slice of carrot cake with extra cream cheese icing as a "reward" for doing well on my health quest or as a treat when I'm feeling down. How ridiculous is that? Yesterday I had a scale victory and reached a milestone that I'd been striving for. You would think this would motivate me to keep doing the right things..... but no, I rewarded myself with a sugar/starch/carb overload. I need help. How do you reward/console yourself and what have you incorporated in your lifestyle to substitute poor eating habits?
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Replies
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I have totally been there! And still tend to do that!!! I'm friend requesting you so we can chat more
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So been there! I struggle with this all the time. I lose some weight, feel good, and then suddenly think I can just stop doing the good things I've been doing. It's a constant stuggle but right now I'm focusing on day to day consistency.0
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Personally for me, I don't give myself food rewards. I'm a stress/emotional eater and I would eat to cope/celebrate etc. So when I reach milestones, I buy myself new makeup, get my hair done, nails, buy me some gourmet coffee, candles..I love candles. Something new for the house. I get things, that are improvements, except the coffee, I just love it!! 0
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I reward myself by feeling proud, not by eating something. I've noticed that when I eat bad stuff, it's usually because I'm feeling down and defeated about something. But I see progress as something that does motivate me to keep doing the right thing. I know that eating high calorie foods is going to undo my progress, so I'm not tempted at that point. Maybe you could start rewarding yourself in some other way. Think about some other things in your life that make your happy, especially activities. Also, always stick to your calorie goal, so if you want a piece of cake, make sure you have room to fit it in.0
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There right now! It's been a week now! I don't know why.........0
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You just wrote the story of my life:(0
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I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think most people have been where you are. Instead of food rewards, I like to shop. Even if it is just for new nail polish. Are you completely restricting your diet? If so, that might make it really hard to stop rewarding with food. I noticed when I was eating too little, all I could think about was food. If i made it thru the week, I could have pizza and chicken wings for dinner on friday...that type of thing. Well Friday night would turn into a whole weekend of bad eating. So make sure you are eating enough everyday and allow for "fun" food. Work it into your calories. You may not need to reward yourself with food anymore, because you CAN eat the good stuff too!0
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This may sound mean but it may also open your eyes a bit... Stop rewarding yourself with food, you are not a dog!!
My other thought on this is that you may be scared of the changes weight loss will bring. Will people make comments (negative or positive, it's extra attention you may not want), will anyone notice, will I change? Etc Etc. All change is scary to a degree so it's perfectly normal to feel this way. But you have to confront it and get over it. Trust me, I've had those fears too! It's hard but you can do it.
Another thing that may help is for you to set some really solid goals. And I don't mean x amount of pounds by x date. Things like weekly/monthly eating/exercise goals to help you improve things slowly as well as long term goals. This month you will log every thing you eat regardless of whether or not it's "on plan". Next week you will increase your veg and fruit intake. The next month you'll plan more meals to make at home. The next week you'll walk at least 3 times per week for 3 miles.
Whatever the goals may be. Pick what you want and make a plan and stick to it!0 -
Nothing wrong with you. You're human. As a society, in general, I believe we have been trained from our earliest years to develop extremely strong preferences towards extremely unhealthy foods and drinks. I think about the way I grew up and it is seriously a wonder that I am not in worse shape than I am.
I grew up with sodas in the refrigerator at all times. When I would get home from school I would eat two or three hot dogs and then have several hostess cupcakes or ding dongs or twinkies. I would usually scarf down some variety of ice cream at night until I literally felt sick. I did that my entire childhood! Add to that the terrible nutritional value of school lunches and my goodness, how did I not die from a heart attack before age 30?? Luckily, I was naturally pretty lean up until my late 20's and was pretty regular working out with weights.
I am 39 now and it has only been the last 10 years that I have come to understand and appreciate a healthy diet. But does that mean I am not enticed by my former unhealthy food choices? Not at all. I still struggle daily. I believe there's something strangely nostalgic about a lot of those unhealthy foods for me and for a lot of us. Drinking a Coke brings me back to earlier childhood days and that's hard to separate the two. Perhaps that is what is happening with you as well?
Sorry to get all Dr. Phil lol. Just keep trying. In the research I've been doing lately on cheat days and cheat meals, I am commonly finding (from reputable fitness and nutrition instructors) that we should shoot for 32 out of 35 meals being healthy per week and having like 3 whatever meals. If you give yourself a few moments each week to do that, it obviously tastes great and satisfies that physical "need" for those unhealthier meals, but it may do something more. It may psychologically help you in that you can feel a few moments of "comfort" or nostalgia, then get right back on the healthy eating process again. If you know you'll at least have a few moments each week to have those whatever meals, then the task of eating healthier and exercising regularly doesn't seem so daunting in the long run (pun intended). Keep at it because I will be and I know I have the same struggles as you and so do many of us. You can be successful!!!0 -
Like somebody else mentioned, I reward myself in ways other than eating. I'll go get a pedicure or a massage or treat myself to some new shoes
I'm an emotional eater so it really helps to reward myself in other ways and establish those new habits. What also has helped me is to plan out everything I'm eating in advance. That way, when I really want that cupcake or other not-so-good-for-me treat, I'm forced to consider whether I'm eating it because I'm hungry, and whether it's really worth the impact on my numbers.
One last thing I do: my husband and I completely eliminated all junk food from the house: no chips, no soda, no candy, ect. That way it's not as easy to get my hands on that stuff when I have a craving or want to eat emotionally. I'd have to go out and pick something up. This also forces me to think about whether it's really worth it to indulge, and usually I find a better alternative in our kitchen 0 -
Set one day aside every month where you can eat whatever you want instead of cheating daily or weekly. That way you can still eat the "junk" that you want without compromising your progress!0
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I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I've been there. I'm still struggling with it.
Two things that I'd suggest:
1. Find new ways to reward yourself. Whether it's retail therapy (buy yourself something cute for every ten pounds lost) or something as small as a sticker on the calendar every day that you're good, you need to break that habit of rewarding yourself with food. Once you find a substitute for the habit it will be a lot easier to break!
2. Figure out if there's an emotional component keeping you from losing the weight. For me, I was using my weight as a shield from the rest of the world. I felt like I could hide myself under those extra 50 pounds, and as they came off I felt more and more exposed. Dealing with those emotions along with all the dieting and exercising has been a constant struggle, but I think it's the only way I'll be able to keep the weight off. It's different for everyone but you might try thinking about what you're feeling while you're eating and see if there's something else going on below the surface.
Whatever it is, I know you'll find something that works for you! Just keep going!0 -
I patiently wait until Saturday, then I buy treats. It's hard in our society not to use food for celebration or socializing. That's why I wait until Saturday. If I want some chips and beer, that happens on Saturday. If I want to go to the bar with the girls, it's on Saturday. If I want to go to a rib and chicken restaurant, I ask my fiance if we can go on Saturday. That's the magic day. Sometimes it's hard, because I want chocolate on a Wednesday, but I keep telling myself that the weekend is coming. I don't binge on saturday and make me regret the junk food, but I do indulge and I don't log :ohwell:0
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Nothing wrong with you. You are like the rest of us.
I have lost and gained the same 40-50 lbs since 1981. I get the weight off after taking an ave. of 3 yrs. then take about 2 yrs to enjoy being the right size, then start to put it on again. I keep repeating that pattern. I was never over weight until 1981. It has taken me all these years to realize what triggered this in me. I am an emotional eater. It sounds totally crazy but one day when thinking about what changed for me, I could control myself just fine before that year. Then it came to me. The shock of John Lennon getting shoot down at his home, doing something as ordinary as opening a gate. The world had spun out of control that night. I sought comfort in food. Still do, if news is really upsetting, like 9/11, for example, I start up again. If someone I know and love dearly dies, I eat and eat. I had been blind to this pattern. Wondering what the heck is wrong with me. Turns out, I am just human and seek comfort in the legal drug of food.
I think I have found the seed that feeds my bad eating habits, so now I can "embrace the tiger". Realizing why you turn to food as reward, comfort, or whatever is a complicated process. But worth the effort.
I want to make this round of losing weight my last one. Since my aha moment, I have done nothing but the right steps to succeed.
I am now tracking food, making much better food decisions, connecting with others who have the same goal as I do, getting healthy and eating right.0 -
I have been gaining and losing the same 6-8 pounds for over a year.
My thought is... it's REALLY hard to lose weight. And REALLY easy to gain it right?
So, I work really hard for 3 weeks, I lose 6-8 pounds, then I get tired of working so hard to lose it, give up for a week or two, gain it back, get sad and motivated again, and the cycle continues.
I'm hoping this month to realize when I get to the giving up week and push through... so my numbers will keep going down.. and I"m not celebrating the same 6 pounds into 2014.
Good luck!0 -
I know I'm not a dog, but I love food and it has been a reward for most of my life. If I didn't care about being fat and unhealthy then I would just eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Happy - eat, Sad - eat....
Small, reachable goals are a great idea and I will definitely have to find another reward program. Thanks0 -
This is a great idea. As a wife and mother I always tend to shy away from doing small things for myself. I give everything, every extra dollar/minute/whatever - it usually goes to them.Personally for me, I don't give myself food rewards. I'm a stress/emotional eater and I would eat to cope/celebrate etc. So when I reach milestones, I buy myself new makeup, get my hair done, nails, buy me some gourmet coffee, candles..I love candles. Something new for the house. I get things, that are improvements, except the coffee, I just love it!!0
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So you understand exactly how I feel. I am confident that we can both break this cycle!I have been gaining and losing the same 6-8 pounds for over a year.
My thought is... it's REALLY hard to lose weight. And REALLY easy to gain it right?
So, I work really hard for 3 weeks, I lose 6-8 pounds, then I get tired of working so hard to lose it, give up for a week or two, gain it back, get sad and motivated again, and the cycle continues.
I'm hoping this month to realize when I get to the giving up week and push through... so my numbers will keep going down.. and I"m not celebrating the same 6 pounds into 2014.
Good luck!0 -
Most of my slip ups do happen on the weekends when we tend to go out more. The problem is I DO Binge - and I don't log. It will be helpful if I can learn to enjoy my indulgences without going over board.I patiently wait until Saturday, then I buy treats. It's hard in our society not to use food for celebration or socializing. That's why I wait until Saturday. If I want some chips and beer, that happens on Saturday. If I want to go to the bar with the girls, it's on Saturday. If I want to go to a rib and chicken restaurant, I ask my fiance if we can go on Saturday. That's the magic day. Sometimes it's hard, because I want chocolate on a Wednesday, but I keep telling myself that the weekend is coming. I don't binge on saturday and make me regret the junk food, but I do indulge and I don't log :ohwell:0
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Thank you for the encouragement! I'm not giving up!I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I've been there. I'm still struggling with it.
Two things that I'd suggest:
1. Find new ways to reward yourself. Whether it's retail therapy (buy yourself something cute for every ten pounds lost) or something as small as a sticker on the calendar every day that you're good, you need to break that habit of rewarding yourself with food. Once you find a substitute for the habit it will be a lot easier to break!
2. Figure out if there's an emotional component keeping you from losing the weight. For me, I was using my weight as a shield from the rest of the world. I felt like I could hide myself under those extra 50 pounds, and as they came off I felt more and more exposed. Dealing with those emotions along with all the dieting and exercising has been a constant struggle, but I think it's the only way I'll be able to keep the weight off. It's different for everyone but you might try thinking about what you're feeling while you're eating and see if there's something else going on below the surface.
Whatever it is, I know you'll find something that works for you! Just keep going!0 -
Thanks everyone for the ideas, encouragement and support!0
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This is my second time losing weight. (I'm a pregnancy pound packer) The first time I had 40 lbs to lose. I sat down and wrote out rewards for every 5 lb increment I dropped weight. It broke up the bulk and burden or knowing it would take me just as long to lose the weight as it did the 9 months I spent gaining it, and wouldn't nearly as easy.
I wrote down 8 rewards that I wanted, then I ranked them smallest to biggest. Stuff like a new pair of sterling silver earrings ($15 max at Walmart) all the way to a full on new hairstyle with cut and color (grand prize). I did cardio 6 days a week for 65 minutes and ate meticulously healthy. I was losing the weight, but so busy tending to two kids, three if you count the needy husband, and a full time job, full time college schedule and dedicated workout routine that I didn't have time to even buy some of the rewards before I blew past that increment and hit the next. but knowing I had earned those rewards and could treat myself at anytime for what I'd already accomplished kept me motivated.
Food is not a reward.0 -
Habits can be much harder to break then you think. I know I do really well and then I hit a new goal and I celebrate by slipping back into old habits. Usually a night or a day doesn't do any damage, it's when you think a few days or few nights won't do any damage and then those days keep extending until you've gained a few pounds back. I think the trick is to teach yourself that it's okay to celebrate with a night or a day off but you can't keep extending the celebration.0
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I use to do that , at least on the consoling part, I would eat a comfort carb food. I became aware of this, it didn't stop right away, but I think admitting to seeing that you are doing this is a big step in learning to confront that and stop doing it. I reward my good behavior with a new tea to drink, or a cute pair of non expensive earings. For bad days when I am stressing I cant say I wont ever run to comfort food but if I do I limit it to a serving and don't beat myself up over the one thing. If I can pull myself up I go workout to work it off and then I feel better, or workout on purpose in advance to cover the times you know you will eat at a party or more than normal.0
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Totally agree, working in all the foods you like will help keep you on track, and once you surpass another milestone, you may not be subject to overindulgence. And if you do, you start over the next day. It's a lifetime struggle to stay healthy.I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think most people have been where you are. Instead of food rewards, I like to shop. Even if it is just for new nail polish. Are you completely restricting your diet? If so, that might make it really hard to stop rewarding with food. I noticed when I was eating too little, all I could think about was food. If i made it thru the week, I could have pizza and chicken wings for dinner on friday...that type of thing. Well Friday night would turn into a whole weekend of bad eating. So make sure you are eating enough everyday and allow for "fun" food. Work it into your calories. You may not need to reward yourself with food anymore, because you CAN eat the good stuff too!0 -
I have noticed an unhealthy and unsettling pattern in my progress. Everytime I start doing well and experience victories, I sabotage myself by letting go, being undisciplined, and end up taking 10 steps back. Why do I do this? Is it my unhealthy association with food? In my family we traditionally celebrate anything and everything, highs and lows, joys and sorrows with food. Sometimes I consider a large slice of carrot cake with extra cream cheese icing as a "reward" for doing well on my health quest or as a treat when I'm feeling down. How ridiculous is that? Yesterday I had a scale victory and reached a milestone that I'd been striving for. You would think this would motivate me to keep doing the right things..... but no, I rewarded myself with a sugar/starch/carb overload. I need help. How do you reward/console yourself and what have you incorporated in your lifestyle to substitute poor eating habits?
I have the same problem. Add me so we can motivate each other.
I am going to go to counseling for this problem and Ill let you know what they say :]0 -
Ugh, that sounds JUST like me (especially the carrot cake part...that is by far my biggest weakness)! You would think we would want to reward ourselves with a new, smaller item of clothing or a pedicure or something, but no...it's food... For me, food is my drug and I am addicted...when I am sad, or stressed or bored or happy or want to celebrate something, I turn to food. I am trying to get out of that habit, especially the mindless eating out of boredom. I don't think we should completely deprive ourselves of the things we like to eat because then we will just over do it, it just needs to be in moderation... It's a challenge every day, but in the end I think reaching that goal weight and the way it will make you feel will be far more rewarding than all the carrot cake in the world... 0
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This is my second time losing weight. (I'm a pregnancy pound packer) The first time I had 40 lbs to lose. I sat down and wrote out rewards for every 5 lb increment I dropped weight. It broke up the bulk and burden or knowing it would take me just as long to lose the weight as it did the 9 months I spent gaining it, and wouldn't nearly as easy.
I wrote down 8 rewards that I wanted, then I ranked them smallest to biggest. Stuff like a new pair of sterling silver earrings ($15 max at Walmart) all the way to a full on new hairstyle with cut and color (grand prize). I did cardio 6 days a week for 65 minutes and ate meticulously healthy. I was losing the weight, but so busy tending to two kids, three if you count the needy husband, and a full time job, full time college schedule and dedicated workout routine that I didn't have time to even buy some of the rewards before I blew past that increment and hit the next. but knowing I had earned those rewards and could treat myself at anytime for what I'd already accomplished kept me motivated.
Food is not a reward.
This^
Thank you this is an AMAZING idea!0 -
I used to do that as well. I still do to an extent (but this time I have measures in place to help control the binges)
Deep down, I think I'm afraid of what life's going to be like "thin," since I haven't been that way in so many years.0 -
Personally for me, I don't give myself food rewards. I'm a stress/emotional eater and I would eat to cope/celebrate etc. So when I reach milestones, I buy myself new makeup, get my hair done, nails, buy me some gourmet coffee, candles..I love candles. Something new for the house. I get things, that are improvements, except the coffee, I just love it!!
THIS. Instead of rewarding yourself with food, try buying yourself a new shirt or pair of pants that shows off how good you look now that you've lost weight? Makeup or something like that is another good alternative. Good luck!0
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