Bulimia. Please don't judge me, I need help.

You need to speak with a professional. Eating disorders are serious problems but you can overcome it with the right resources and support. I'm glad you're trying to get healthy and I hope you find the help you need, but I don't think a group of strangers on the internet will be able to do that for you.

Tell your partner, a friend, a family member, someone. It will be an awful, painful conversation, but they can't support you and help you through it if they don't know.

I'd seek out a therapist that specializes in eating disorders, and speak to your doctor if you have one (they may be able to refer you to a therapist as well). I'd also think about whether anything specific precipitated your starting to purge, or if there's anything ongoing in your life that is causing you serious stress or problems. It's not uncommon for eating disorders to be a way for people who feel out of control to take control.

I'd also take the time every day to remind yourself that you are not a bad person, and you're worth loving and being cared for. You have a problem that lots of other people have had and still have, and they aren't bad people either. You're not alone. If you feel comfortable, pick a family member or tell your partner about your purging. And be kind to yourself as much as possible, you're worth it.

You've gotten some great advice. I have nothing else to add but a virtual hug!

You are on the right path if you are coming here to ask for help, but you really should reach out to someone who can help you in person. It's a hard next step, but an important one.

I'm sorry i can't help with advice - in that i haven't btdt...but i *know* you can get better. like you said, you know the risks involved - you know this is not healthy and that your body will suffer. making this post is great - it shows that not only do you know you're in too deep, but that you want to reach out so that you can stop hurting yourself.
make a goal of making at least 3 phone calls tomorrow that are focused on getting assistance. have no shame, the people who will be willing to guide you through without judgement of your illness will be able to help you come around.
much care to you.

Wow. That sounds really gross, I feel so sorry for you. I hope you get the help from a psychologist or something.

sometimes when you are new to a forum, it's a good idea to sit back for a bit and see what the board culture is like. just sayin.

Bulimia is a two part thing: binging and purging. Without binging it is not bulimia. It sounds like you may have purging anorexic tendencies. I wish you all the best in your recovery. It's a long, hard road but well worth it. :flowerforyou:

Please do not be ashamed. This actually happens to a lot of people who lose a lot of weight. I have had several friends confide in me that they have walked that road. In fact, when I first lost all the weight and got to my goal, I used over-exercising as a disordered way of maintaining my figure and my unhealthy relationship with food at the same time for a while. It takes time to learn about ourselves and figure out what makes us really tick. I hope you do seek out professional help. It's not really a food issue.

Hi there friend. I know how you are feeling, and have gone through some similar issues myself. In short, I used to be a ballet dancer....barely ate, threw up "occasionally" when I did eat too much, or ate something "unhealthy". I never once considered myself to be anorexic or bulimic. Neither did my family. After an injury that caused me to end my future career as a dancer, my body went through some changes (changes that probably are normal...hips, boobs, etc) and I had a very difficult time dealing with my "new body". Bottom line is this: I have never reverted to my previous behavior because I know that it will not only hurt me, exponentially, but it will also hurt the very people I love most. However, my problems then turned into this constant mental battle....skip lunch? Or hurt my fiancé? I never wanted to hurt anyone else, so I just ate the minimum to get by and bottled all of those thoughts to myself. To this day I have body image issues and I sometimes contemplate skipping meals, or days of eating...because I know I can do it. Generally, I just try to eat healthy when I'm feeling that way....but occasionally those obsessive thoughts overcome my mind. I will spare you the lecture of how dangerous this behavior is to your body (and mind). I am assuming that either a.) you've researched this already, and b.) someone on here will lay out those consequences for you. Having been in a similar situation, my suggestion is this: Please, I urge you, to talk to your family physician. He/She will be able to help you. If your doctor is not well-versed in this matter, he/she will refer you to someone who is. I also advise you to let your family know that you're going through this, and ask them to be supportive as you seek help. Do this in whatever order you prefer....but please do this before you can't undo the damage. My fiancé was so supportive of me, I went to my doctor because I had sleep issues, and decided "this is your chance to get some help and come clean"....so I just laid it all on the table. My mom was a little hard on me at first, but the next day she was much more supportive. Please do not fear that people will judge you; because this is your life and you need to get yourself out of this situation. Please, contact your doctor and talk to your family. Best of luck to you....keep us posted as you work on becoming healthy.

If you really cant face seeking professional help, what about support groups? also websites? getselfhelp.co.uk is a fantastic resource and has information on the cycle of bulimia and self help strategies such as menu planning and contracts, distraction stuff. there is also stuff on mindfulness which i have found really helpful in my everyday life and this is about relaxation or being aware of the present moment. Along a similar line what about yoga and other meditative practices? You have clearly done a fantastic thing to lose weight in the first place and you have dedication so be kind to yourself. Things will get better and well done for being brave and seeking suppoty and help in the first place.

First of all, thank you for wanting to get better. Not many people can find it in themselves to reach out and actually ask for help. What I did was instead of going to the bathroom after I ate I would immediately go outside and walk/run. The more I did that, the less I had a desire to purge after eating. Early in my recovery stages I would go for a walk for an hour or two and then come back, get bored, beat myself up, and try to throw up again..two hours later makes it a bit more difficult. I would do this everyday to the point where I just didn't want to try anymore cuz it was too much of a pain in the butt.

If you don't want to go for a walk or run, just replace it with a different form of exercise. By the time you're through with it, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it the right way instead of risking your health to get thinner. I started making my primary focus to get healthier, not skinnier, but healthy. Once I got that into my head, it was amazing at how much I DIDN'T want to throw up. Sure every now and then I have that thought pass through my mind, but I know its extremely unhealthy and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

You already stated that you like eating healthy food, that's perfect. Just stop there. It's already good for you, you're getting the nutrients you need, now focus on burning the calories off instead of purging. I'm not saying you should go and workout for 6 hours straight and burn every calorie you ate, but try and create a deficit. I promise you, it pays off in the end. I've lost over 60lbs just watching my calorie intake and exercising. Sure it takes awhile longer, but its much more beneficial, and I actually feel healthier.

All that being said, good luck on your journey, and I really hope you can put this behind you. :flowerforyou:

Such a good advice. I think I can take it as well, I don't purge myself, but I do have guilty feelings when I eat a bit more than I should. I'll take this tips for myself!

See a doctor. Keep thinking of your health when faced with eating normally and not purging.

First of all, thank you for wanting to get better. Not many people can find it in themselves to reach out and actually ask for help. What I did was instead of going to the bathroom after I ate I would immediately go outside and walk/run. The more I did that, the less I had a desire to purge after eating. Early in my recovery stages I would go for a walk for an hour or two and then come back, get bored, beat myself up, and try to throw up again..two hours later makes it a bit more difficult. I would do this everyday to the point where I just didn't want to try anymore cuz it was too much of a pain in the butt.

If you don't want to go for a walk or run, just replace it with a different form of exercise. By the time you're through with it, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it the right way instead of risking your health to get thinner. I started making my primary focus to get healthier, not skinnier, but healthy. Once I got that into my head, it was amazing at how much I DIDN'T want to throw up. Sure every now and then I have that thought pass through my mind, but I know its extremely unhealthy and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

You already stated that you like eating healthy food, that's perfect. Just stop there. It's already good for you, you're getting the nutrients you need, now focus on burning the calories off instead of purging. I'm not saying you should go and workout for 6 hours straight and burn every calorie you ate, but try and create a deficit. I promise you, it pays off in the end. I've lost over 60lbs just watching my calorie intake and exercising. Sure it takes awhile longer, but its much more beneficial, and I actually feel healthier.

All that being said, good luck on your journey, and I really hope you can put this behind you. :flowerforyou:

I'm guessing you never heard of Exercise Bulimia. You go and work out instead of throwing up to burn the calories you just consumed. The exercise is just another form of purging. It just switches her from throwing up to working out hardcore and fasting. One step closer to Anorexia...

I'm sorry I don't know enough regarding bulimia or eating disorders to offer any meaningful help or advice, but I just wanted to wish you (and anyone else going through similar experiences) the best of luck in your recoveries.

Keep strong!

Hey girl !

I used to go through phases of purging every day, multiple times. It stopped when I started to exercise and make exercise my ROUTINE. I made exercise "my thing". I would go to the gym everyday and get a good workout in, in combination with calorie counting (an appropriate healthy amount)

This is just what helped me, and I have read that other bullimics found getting into an exercise routine helped them. Make FITNESS your passion!

Focus on getting fit and healthy, and hopefully it will all come together! You will look amazing too and feel amazing and healthy. You want to be happy and healthy? The key is finding the balance, find what works for you and live a healthy balanced life

All the best! xxxxxxxxxxxx :flowerforyou: