What is your overcompensation for misery? [PIC HEAVY]

I finally learned not to let myself get miserable. I'd say that up until my early thirties I was a wallow in my sadness kind of person. Then I realized that while I was whining about it, life was just passing me by. I don't have a stress free life. I'm a single mom living on a fairly low income. I just finally decided that I'm not going to freak out about everything anymore. I make the decisions that will ultimately bring peace and happiness to my life. It's a conscious decision everyday to be a calm, simple person.

When I do find myself overwhelmed, I jump on a bicycle and ride the *kitten* out of it.

Despite what most people think, 21 is a pretty difficult time in life. You are probably trying to figure out your whole future right now. Don't. Your life will constantly evolve and change. Just go with it and enjoy the ride.

THIS. Brilliant

I have to admit, I'm highly surprised that the boys haven't jumped in and said sex...

Exercise.

I'm not really familiar with the concept of misery as a state of being. In my mind misery is equated with wet puppies in the rain. Which isn't to say I don't understand where you're coming from.

I get depressed. Depression is insidious because it's not unusual to not even notice you're there. You make small changes because you have other things to think about. Pretending not to notice the things that make you unhappy until you suddenly realize you are overweight. Or not going anywhere, talking to any friends, or whatever you think is unhealthy.

Mind you it doesn't matter what other people think you ought to do (law school, be pretty, own certain things, watch certain shows, have a certain job etc) what matters is what you want to do. Happiness is purely freedom. To be happy you have to constantly struggle against compromising your own values.

For example, I want to go back to my high school weight because I am vain, because I want to wear certain clothes and look good in them, because I want to be active without feeling limited or tired, or lazy. Because I miss myself. Because I wish I was a little shorter but I'll settle for being smaller overall. All these reasons are perfectly fine because they are mine. It's not because someone else is telling me it's more healthy or any other reason other than the ones I chose as important.

When we work towards things we want, we are happy. I'm a far way off from my goal but I am a lot happier because I'm making progress and I trust myself. I know I can make it. I may stumble or get lost, but the bottom line is I want something and that part isn't going to change.

In my opinion if the things you are doing don't satisfy you (buying cute containers) then you ask yourself why you are doing them., why they aren't making you happy. Is it a habit you are repeating? Did this thing make you happy once and you are trying to find it again? Are you easily being caught up in marketing or impulse?

My dad used to come into the kitchen to find me or my sister staring blankly into the cupboard or fridge. "You won't find happiness in there" he would say at times "If you're hungry enough, you wouldn't have to look so long" he would say at others. Sometimes the little things people say to us end up being really good lifetime advice. How hungry are you to get what you want? Are you looking at the things you collect as a method of reclaiming memories of happiness? Why are you staring into the cupboard and not moving forward?

I collect things too, though I have limited myself by mostly collecting things that other people give or buy for me. It's helpful because I can remember fondly that person, or that situation when I have that item.

I'm probably not being terribly clear, but I suppose I'm just trying to say that it's okay to be happy about things that other people don't accept, and it's okay if you are no longer satisfied with things that you once wanted to do.

I think we too often tell ourselves that something isn't possible. If you want something, find a way to make it happen, and as long as you work towards your own goals (not ones someone else has imprinted on you) you will start to feel satisfied more.