How should I feel??????

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124

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  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
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    First off, you are beautiful and you have had an amazing journey to get where you are today! I know you feel the accomplishment, as it shows in your profile picture and the smile that is there! No one, not even a self absorbed, rude person can take that away from you!

    His actions suggest jealousy, for what he can not or will not accomplish for himself,

    resentment, for 'bettering' yourself and leaving him behind,

    lack of respect for you, his wife, whom he should be able to lift up and encourage,

    an overinflated ego, that sounds as if it is in no shape, size or way deserved


    If and when you feel able to, I would discuss your feelings with him. If he listens to you and changes his attitude, it will be a win-win situation. If he is unable to change his behavior patters/condescending actions, only you can decide how you want to handle the situation!
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    Honestly, I would be pissed and hurt. You are smoking hot!!! So, I think that he is jealous and doesn't want you to realize how hot you are. You just keep doing your thing. Your anger is justified.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    I'd have two reactions to this behavior.

    1) An immediate knee-jerk reaction, where my knee impacted his crotch.
    2) I'd make sure to look my best for that wedding, then promptly leave dear hubs and find myself a much better male escort once I arrived.

    You might be able to guess that I'm not married and probably will never be :laugh:

    BTW, I've had a few friends in emotionally abusive marriages. Picking out outfits and judging the wife's appearance? A common occurrence with them. If this is a one time thing, maybe it's just an *kitten* moment. If not, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship.
  • Andimadx
    Andimadx Posts: 51 Member
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    I would have dumped him the first time he called me Fat
    If he wasn't supportive when you were heavy, and he's not supportive now that you lost so much weight, then he will NEVER be supportive and he will always put you down.

    dump his *kitten* and find someone who loves you for you
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    His response......." About a 7 - 7 1/2 with room for improvement!"
    Next time he say something like that, respond with ..."Sweet, with your 21/2 - 3 we make a perfect 10!!"
  • JenniferPlus2
    JenniferPlus2 Posts: 119 Member
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    Sounds like insecurity to me. You've achieved something he cannot, and subconsciously (or maybe consciously) he doesn't want you feeling like you are better than him.
    This^. i have a feeling he had already decided to put you down before he even asked you to dress up for the gathering.
    This is what I think as well. Do not give him the silent treatment. Call him out on what is really going on and how it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Go to the party, remain icy to husband, flirt mercilessly with his business partners.
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    what an idiot for not realizing what he's got. :| I think he must be bitter that you could do it while he still remains the same.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    Clearly, this guy does NOT want you to have healthy self-esteem.

    Why do people stay in these horrible relationships?
  • MattLBennett
    MattLBennett Posts: 24 Member
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    Coming from a male : what a complete and utter tool!
  • nursenelson
    nursenelson Posts: 295
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    Next time he say something like that, respond with ..."Sweet, with your 21/2 - 3 we make a perfect 10!!"


    OMG that is AWESOME!
    Just brilliant!
    bahahahahahahahahahaha
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    It's not you, it's him.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    I wouldn't say a word & make him come to u. Then I would tell him to get on the "take care of yourself" boat....... (douche)
  • MelissaBoydston82
    MelissaBoydston82 Posts: 47
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    I don't know that I could stay around something like that for very long. And if I did, I would probably cuss him out multiple times daily. ahh marriage.

    Anyway, you're not the first person I've heard of losing a LOT of weight whose spouse basically turned verbally abusive once they succeeded. He definitely sounds insecure.
  • MelissaBoydston82
    MelissaBoydston82 Posts: 47
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    first, to ask you to step it up for the wedding. wtf, as if you were going to go in tatters?
    then to rate you?

    awwww hell no. you deserve better treatment than that. i just looked at your photos. your transformation is nothing short of amazing. and he sounds like a miserable git.

    yes!

    As soon as I read "step it up for the wedding" I was annoyed. EFF him. I wouldn't want to be seen with him at the wedding.
  • MelissaBoydston82
    MelissaBoydston82 Posts: 47
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    Sounds like insecurity to me. You've achieved something he cannot, and subconsciously (or maybe consciously) he doesn't want you feeling like you are better than him.
    bingo!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    OP, I read your profile and you have made an amazing change to benefit your health and therefore your whole family. Unfortunately, your transformation won't have transformed your husband. I know, from far less dramatic experience, that you can't expect your DH to treat you better just because you have improved. I think you are quite within your rights to feel upset, but I wouldn't feel surprised.

    When I ask my DH how I look, he has learnt to play it safe, but maybe, when you didn't feel you looked good, you didn't ask and he didn't learn the 'right' answer...
  • cazcarr89
    cazcarr89 Posts: 34
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    It sounds as though he jealous, and putting you down makes him feel better!

    Try telling him hes a '2 with room for improvement' :)
  • cazcarr89
    cazcarr89 Posts: 34
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    Absolutely awful. I sit at home at almost 250 pounds in sweat pants, no makeup and a baggy shirt with my hair up and my husband constantly tells me I'm beautiful.


    ^ This is a real, man! He should love you no matter what x
  • IronPhyllida
    IronPhyllida Posts: 533 Member
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    Start scoring his appearance on a daily basis, be brutal and honest and see how he likes it. Sounds as if he's a 2 in my opinion. And I'm being generous. What a kn*b.

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