Help needed from Moms (or Dads!) of tween/teenage girls!

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  • Bull2707
    Bull2707 Posts: 106
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    From a males perspective. I have a 18 year old daughter and have gone through most events in her life. Reasons while I collect guns and drink beer.

    My wife has handled most of it and if she is feeling the way she is it might be from friends and school. My daughter used to take gymnastics and was getting toned and bulky legs. She stopped because girls thought she was fat or disgusting.

    From there it went to her wearing thongs (so they do not see panty lines) which flipped me out. When my wife and daughter got VS i go the bar or gun shop. Sometimes both. Then boy friend came into play. Rrrrrr.

    I think laser is extreme for her age but give her the options. The best tool/friend she has is you. Talk to her about and work through it together. That is what my wife did and still does.

    i am the one that makes her feel safe, and make sure she feels that everything will be ok and be there when dumbass breaks her heart. She is an incredibale young lady and you will have the same.

    She will always be my little girl and yes I will continue to do back ground checks and scare the living day lights out of the boys she dates. God have mercy on their souls.
  • CookNLift
    CookNLift Posts: 3,660 Member
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    let her shave it. she's gotta learn someday.
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
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    Thank you all so much for your input :smile:

    I know everyone has opinions and I appreciate that! I suppose I probably didn't articulate myself very well in my original post!

    :flowerforyou:
  • heidionamission
    heidionamission Posts: 1
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    When I got my legs done I was advised that laser hair removal is not ideal for people under 21 ish because hormonal changes can make all the hair come right back so it can be a huge waste of money.

    I'm a teenager and it wasn't so long ago that I was in this situation, and from that perspective I would say the best thing is shaving. The slightly more expensive razors with the head that can change angle (sort of hinged) would probably be best - I have never cut myself with that type and I'm pretty clumsy when it comes to shaving. Wax seems like unnecessary pain and stress at such a young age because self waxing is really tricky and getting it done by someone else is a great invasion of privacy which she probably doesn't want to have to deal with, especially as this is already an issue in her mind.

    If she is worried about it please don't try and make her ignore it - kids are cruel. School is hard enough without such easily fixable insecurities. You have done the good thing and explained it is natural and happens to everyone and its her choice what to do with her hair, now show her how to shave in front of the bathroom mirror with proper shaving foam and it should all be fine.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    When my step daughter was 10 she told me she was self-conscious about her armpit hair and her darkening/thickening leg hair. I bought her a cute shave kit with razors and some gel... showed her how to use it all. She doesn't always shave - she's 13 now - but she does when she wants and recognizes now that body hair is totally normal. Her dad is like a wookie, so she's gotta understand these things :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ... if she gets to where I notice she needs a conversation about bikini line I'll go there too.
  • IndianMuslim
    IndianMuslim Posts: 154
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    My mom's a certified electrologist and she started waxing / electrolysis on my twin sister and I since we were 12. Waxing really isn't that painful, especially at that age when you are just starting hair growth, and unlike shaving it comes back less and less. My mom has no hair on her legs now thanks to her years of waxing. At age 13 I decided I wanted to be cool and got myself a razor (unbeknownst to my mom). Biggest mistake of my life! Once you start shaving, you have to continue shaving for the rest of your life and it just comes back longer and thicker.

    I also had laser done when I was 19 (on my face). That was not a pleasant experience. Not only are laser treatments expensive, they don't completely get rid of all the hair. Electrolysis is a much more permanent solution. It does hurt, though, so I would recommend getting the AMLA cream to numb the area first.

    With all that said, your little girl is only 9. She's got the rest of her life to worry about this. Can't she just wear t-shirts for a while? :P
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Get her a wire wrapped safety razor and teach her how to shave. Just say no to armpit hair.

    Or get her one of these pink razors:

    pnkrazor.jpg~original

    KGrHqRqIFNpZoiKEBQM9-PP9iw60_35.jpg~original

    My daughter is nine and I am just dreading heading down this path.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
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    "My mom lasered my underarm hair when I was 10 years old"

    That is not a dreadful thought at all. It will not scar her for life, when she gets older she will probably thank you for it. You are her mother and should know what is best for her.
  • Salt_Sand_Sun
    Salt_Sand_Sun Posts: 415 Member
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    Arm pit hair is very normal - time to start shaving! I wouldn't wax - OUCH. I can barely stand that as an adult. And she's young for laser. ALL girls are going to go through this in the next couple years.

    I'd take her to go buy her own razor and shaving gel.
  • LorienCoffeeBean
    LorienCoffeeBean Posts: 227 Member
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    my daughter is the same age. i would let my daughter shave.
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
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    IMHO, if she's old enough to get hairy pits, she's old enough to learn the 'glorious art' of pit shaving. It's far less traumatic than other hair removals, and they have to learn it eventually. My daughter developed young. Her hair started coming in at 9, and the rest of puberty (periods, boobs, zits, B.O., etc.) hit hard and fast after that. She took it as a slightly gross rite of passage, but took some kind of strange pride in having a reason to shave, too.
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    As a female that developed EARLY (at 9), I suggest just letting her shave.
  • 42hockeymom
    42hockeymom Posts: 521 Member
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    When my girls were that age and started growing hair, I taught them how to shave.

    But when it came to eyebrows, I just told them to wax! Now that they're older they can choose how to deal with their hair. I think 9 is a little young for waxing armpits, but hey, it does last longer and when it grows in it grows in finer. Also, it doesn't hurt that bad. It's not that traumatic at all, at worst it feels like a band aid being ripped off of your skin. No biggy really.

    In the end, she's your daughter, you can decide. Waxing is a lot more expensive than shaving and when they're that young waxing does take a bit more upkeep.
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
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    Thanks all!

    Just for the record....I'm not against her shaving nor am I going to make her just "deal with it". Just wanted to see what others experiences have been :happy:
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    no, no, no... no waxing or lazer... every girl gets armpit hair, she will survive... I have 4 daughters, 8, 10, 12, and 15... they all came to terms with having to shave very quick. I wouldn't play into it and feed her "drama" about the armpit hair. keep it real, because this is just the beginning of all sorts of things, and tell her welcome to life, here is a razor! :) sorry, im just really blunt with my daughters... and my son...
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
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    Buy her a copy of The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (AmericanGirl Library) book 1 , there is a book 2 but I have not seen that one yet. I got this for my daughter when she was 8 or 9 and her body began changing, she enjoyed reading it, she would ask me questions, I suggest you read it first so you can know what is said in it, its a great book and helped so much in making her feel very normal and okay about her body.
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
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    Buy her a copy of The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (AmericanGirl Library) book 1 , there is a book 2 but I have not seen that one yet. I got this for my daughter when she was 8 or 9 and her body began changing, she enjoyed reading it, she would ask me questions, I suggest you read it first so you can know what is said in it, its a great book and helped so much in making her feel very normal and okay about her body.

    Thank you for suggesting this!
  • HairRemovalExpert
    HairRemovalExpert Posts: 2
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    Has anybody else tried the book from http://www.hairfreebody.com?

    It a natural alternative to shaving, waxing and all the other painful solutions to hair removal. I've used it and love it and intend to get my daughter using it in the coming months. I don't want her to use chemical rich creams, and I found shaving made my hair grow back stronger, so that's why I looked for an alternative.

    Not only does it remove hair, but has significantly reduced hair regrowth too! They offered full refund when I bought, I assume they still do. Would love to hear if anybody else has tried or does try and what result you get, especially on DD.

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