Help needed from Moms (or Dads!) of tween/teenage girls!
Will_Thrust_For_Candy
Posts: 6,109 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi All!
I am a mom to a wonderful 9 1/2 (going on 19!) year old daughter.
She has recently discovered that she has gotten armpit hair and is absolutely devastated!
Of course I have given her the pep talk.....that is completely normal and happens to all girls and blah blah blah but she is still so upset. She feels like everyone is staring at her if she puts her hand up or does anything where she has to raise her arms.
Obviously I can teach her to shave.....but I'm wondering if that is the best thing to do.
I am considering waxing or laser. But I'm worried that she is too young? Obviously waxing is not exactly pain free, but she has such a little amount! What I would give for my mom to have taken me to have my pits done when I was young.
Thoughts?
Thanks in advance!
I am a mom to a wonderful 9 1/2 (going on 19!) year old daughter.
She has recently discovered that she has gotten armpit hair and is absolutely devastated!
Of course I have given her the pep talk.....that is completely normal and happens to all girls and blah blah blah but she is still so upset. She feels like everyone is staring at her if she puts her hand up or does anything where she has to raise her arms.
Obviously I can teach her to shave.....but I'm wondering if that is the best thing to do.
I am considering waxing or laser. But I'm worried that she is too young? Obviously waxing is not exactly pain free, but she has such a little amount! What I would give for my mom to have taken me to have my pits done when I was young.
Thoughts?
Thanks in advance!
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Replies
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Personally, I think she's too young for laser & waxing. If it bothers her that much, I'd let her go ahead and shave. Try to stay away from deodarents with aluminum, especially after shaving
) Good luck, I have a 15 year old girl (*sigh*) 0 -
Actually I just considered that maybe I should just trim it for her. The hair is quite long, but there isn't much of it. Maybe that would be better for now, rather than starting on a shaving (or alternate) regime :ohwell:0
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Personally, I think she's too young for laser & waxing. If it bothers her that much, I'd let her go ahead and shave. Try to stay away from deodarents with aluminum, especially after shaving) Good luck, I have a 15 year old girl (*sigh*)
I agree. When my daughter started sprouting hair in strange places, she got the talk, her own razors & shaving gel, deodorant, etc.
She's 23 now
ETA: waxing is painful & laser?....why?....It is a very normal thing to have armpit hair. One needs to walk a razor's edge & not give the child the impression that this is something that needs to be 'cured.' Lest she starts to get the idea that every perceived imperfection marks her as abnormal or imperfect. At 9 yrs old, kids these days seem to keenly grab onto any notion that they might be abnormal. :ohwell:
Just don't make a big deal of it :drinker:0 -
Actually I just considered that maybe I should just trim it for her. The hair is quite long, but there isn't much of it. Maybe that would be better for now, rather than starting on a shaving (or alternate) regime :ohwell:
lolwut. :laugh:
It's one hair :ohwell: :blushing: awwwww. That's cute as hell. If trimming it off will work, definately...go for it :drinker:0 -
laser hurts as well, and she will just have to have it done again as she sprouts more. I don't blame her for being embarrassed, whats the reason you don't want her to just shave? I would have been devastated if my Mother hadn't let me shave....0
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Waxing and lasers might be a little extreme. If she's uncomfortable with it, get her a wire wrapped razor and some shaving gel.0
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Oh no, it's more than one hair.....
And it's not that she should be ashamed of it by any means....it's that it's a pain the *kitten* quite frankly. That's the only reason I considered waxing and or laser. Honestly shaving my armpits is the biggest inconvenience and for me it's just not pleasant. Mine have gotten scarred over the years and just don't ever have a nice clean shaven look and/or feel....
so while some of you may think it's ridiculous, I'm really just considering long term for her....nothing else.
And it's also not that I am against her shaving, it's just that she is young.....so yeah, shaving sucks and why start early if there is an alternate solution.
Definitely regretting this posting right now :ohwell:0 -
I started my daughters off with Nair for sensitive skin. I was afraid they might accidentally cut themselves with a razor. As their fist razor I got them the battery operated ones that can be used wet or dry0
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I started my daughters off with Nair for sensitive skin. I was afraid they might accidentally cut themselves with a razor. As their fist razor I got them the battery operated ones that can be used wet or dry
Actually I had just considered Nair after I wrote my last post. I feel the same as you....worried that she would cut herself and just not wanting her to have to worry about maintaining at such a young age. I guess I just did a very poor job of articulating myself Thank you! 0 -
Teach her to shave, she doesn't need to to feel waxing0
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Oh no, it's more than one hair.....
And it's not that she should be ashamed of it by any means....it's that it's a pain the *kitten* quite frankly. That's the only reason I considered waxing and or laser. Honestly shaving my armpits is the biggest inconvenience and for me it's just not pleasant. Mine have gotten scarred over the years and just don't ever have a nice clean shaven look and/or feel....
so while some of you may think it's ridiculous, I'm really just considering long term for her....nothing else.
And it's also not that I am against her shaving, it's just that she is young.....so yeah, shaving sucks and why start early if there is an alternate solution.
Definitely regretting this posting right now :ohwell:0 -
Really? You're regretting this post? I think you had a valid question and its obvious that you are going to get different opinions (I'm assuming that's why you asked)??
It almost sounds like you really want to get waxing or laser done for your daughter, and you're looking for everyone to agree with you?
Maybe discuss the options with your daughter and see what she wants.0 -
I'd also recommend some sort of hair removal cream for sensitive skin. I use it myself on my knees (had a nasty shaving accident, sliced a load of skin off my knee in my teens so have been paranoid since!!) and find it very effective. If you go for razors buy decent ones (I know you would!), perhaps like the Venus range that move with the shape of the skin rather than being fixed/rigid. Less chance of nasty nicks!0
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:flowerforyou:
No dear, there's nothing to regret, honest :ohwell: It was a legit question and if I made you feel awkward about it, that wasn't my intention & I apologize
We good? ...Great.
Nair is also a good idea, I only hesitate to use it for a child as there is only so long you can leave that stuff on your skin, I had trouble with the timing cause I'm a derp :laugh: In other words, when using it, I would make it 'girl's time' and do it together along with a timer & not while in the shower, but as an activity to be done before, so make time.
I've used it myself quite a bit as I also have a difficult time with underarm shaving. The hairs grow in multiple directions, so in order to get a close baby soft shave, you need to run the razor in all 4 directions with multiple passes including on the diagonal in both ways.
This gives me a shave as close as my legs, BUT....I regret the hell out of it within 2 days as it itches like the ****ens as it's almost as if it's TOO close of a shave. :huh:
Anyhow, good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
When my daughter was younger & started shaving, I bought her a Gillette Venus with the huge soap/lotion cartridge around the blade. It seemed like she was less likely to cut herself with it. If you are really worried about it, I would go with the Nair although it smells horrible.0
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Personally I think it's a downright terrible that a little girl should feel shame for something that is completely natural. Thanks a lot American standards...wonder if French girls feel the same shame?
Good mama teaching her this is natural. Sadly she has to shave it though as the kids will ridicule her in school, and she may not be strong enough to stand up to the idiots and teach them a little bit about biology.
I dont think I would want a permanent solution like laser. She may have no problem with her armpit fur as she gets older and want it you never know. Plus she's too young and is going to continue to get more hair.
Wax I think would be so painful on that delicate skin.
Get a small head razor lots of shave cream stand in the mirror with a sink full of warm water and remove it. Venus makes a razor now with bar for the "shave cream" and I would think that with a generous dollop of real shave cream would work.0 -
Actually I just considered that maybe I should just trim it for her. The hair is quite long, but there isn't much of it. Maybe that would be better for now, rather than starting on a shaving (or alternate) regime :ohwell:
lolwut. :laugh:
It's one hair :ohwell: :blushing: awwwww. That's cute as hell. If trimming it off will work, definately...go for it :drinker:
oh yeah if you can just trim it go for this option it might be light enough, and still reinforces that hair on a human mammal is normal0 -
I started my daughters off with Nair for sensitive skin. I was afraid they might accidentally cut themselves with a razor. As their fist razor I got them the battery operated ones that can be used wet or dry
Actually I had just considered Nair after I wrote my last post. I feel the same as you....worried that she would cut herself and just not wanting her to have to worry about maintaining at such a young age. I guess I just did a very poor job of articulating myself Thank you!
just remind her to keep her arms up while it's doing the job. I burned the heck out of my armpits once by putting my arms down, but that was before sensitive skin was invented so who knows.0 -
My girl's 14 and when she needed to shave the pits, we got right on it. I made her wait a *little* while longer to shave her legs (mommy wasn't ready for her to be THAT grown up). Now that she's been allowed to shave her legs for a couple years.. .she rarely does. She'll grow into it.
In our culture shaving ones armpits is pretty standard. While I doubt anyone is staring at her pits if she's wearing a tshirt, there's no sense in making her miserable. Just let her shave. If she wants to persue other hair removal options when she's older then that will be her choice.0 -
Im going to be honest, i started shaving at 10 and i wish to god my mother would have taught me to wax. When i shave the stubble is itchy and bothers me more so then waxing once a week id have to shave everyday but im older if u can trim it up do it up 0
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From a males perspective. I have a 18 year old daughter and have gone through most events in her life. Reasons while I collect guns and drink beer.
My wife has handled most of it and if she is feeling the way she is it might be from friends and school. My daughter used to take gymnastics and was getting toned and bulky legs. She stopped because girls thought she was fat or disgusting.
From there it went to her wearing thongs (so they do not see panty lines) which flipped me out. When my wife and daughter got VS i go the bar or gun shop. Sometimes both. Then boy friend came into play. Rrrrrr.
I think laser is extreme for her age but give her the options. The best tool/friend she has is you. Talk to her about and work through it together. That is what my wife did and still does.
i am the one that makes her feel safe, and make sure she feels that everything will be ok and be there when dumbass breaks her heart. She is an incredibale young lady and you will have the same.
She will always be my little girl and yes I will continue to do back ground checks and scare the living day lights out of the boys she dates. God have mercy on their souls.0 -
let her shave it. she's gotta learn someday.0
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Thank you all so much for your input
I know everyone has opinions and I appreciate that! I suppose I probably didn't articulate myself very well in my original post!
:flowerforyou:0 -
When I got my legs done I was advised that laser hair removal is not ideal for people under 21 ish because hormonal changes can make all the hair come right back so it can be a huge waste of money.
I'm a teenager and it wasn't so long ago that I was in this situation, and from that perspective I would say the best thing is shaving. The slightly more expensive razors with the head that can change angle (sort of hinged) would probably be best - I have never cut myself with that type and I'm pretty clumsy when it comes to shaving. Wax seems like unnecessary pain and stress at such a young age because self waxing is really tricky and getting it done by someone else is a great invasion of privacy which she probably doesn't want to have to deal with, especially as this is already an issue in her mind.
If she is worried about it please don't try and make her ignore it - kids are cruel. School is hard enough without such easily fixable insecurities. You have done the good thing and explained it is natural and happens to everyone and its her choice what to do with her hair, now show her how to shave in front of the bathroom mirror with proper shaving foam and it should all be fine.0 -
When my step daughter was 10 she told me she was self-conscious about her armpit hair and her darkening/thickening leg hair. I bought her a cute shave kit with razors and some gel... showed her how to use it all. She doesn't always shave - she's 13 now - but she does when she wants and recognizes now that body hair is totally normal. Her dad is like a wookie, so she's gotta understand these things :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ... if she gets to where I notice she needs a conversation about bikini line I'll go there too.0
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My mom's a certified electrologist and she started waxing / electrolysis on my twin sister and I since we were 12. Waxing really isn't that painful, especially at that age when you are just starting hair growth, and unlike shaving it comes back less and less. My mom has no hair on her legs now thanks to her years of waxing. At age 13 I decided I wanted to be cool and got myself a razor (unbeknownst to my mom). Biggest mistake of my life! Once you start shaving, you have to continue shaving for the rest of your life and it just comes back longer and thicker.
I also had laser done when I was 19 (on my face). That was not a pleasant experience. Not only are laser treatments expensive, they don't completely get rid of all the hair. Electrolysis is a much more permanent solution. It does hurt, though, so I would recommend getting the AMLA cream to numb the area first.
With all that said, your little girl is only 9. She's got the rest of her life to worry about this. Can't she just wear t-shirts for a while? :P0 -
Get her a wire wrapped safety razor and teach her how to shave. Just say no to armpit hair.
Or get her one of these pink razors:
My daughter is nine and I am just dreading heading down this path.0 -
"My mom lasered my underarm hair when I was 10 years old"
That is not a dreadful thought at all. It will not scar her for life, when she gets older she will probably thank you for it. You are her mother and should know what is best for her.0 -
Arm pit hair is very normal - time to start shaving! I wouldn't wax - OUCH. I can barely stand that as an adult. And she's young for laser. ALL girls are going to go through this in the next couple years.
I'd take her to go buy her own razor and shaving gel.0 -
my daughter is the same age. i would let my daughter shave.0
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