Friends With Benefits, your experiences or thoughts
Replies
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I have had 3 of them in the past 2 out of 3 did not go good
1st one was an ex boyfriend, so of course that didn't go good- we dated for 6 months and messed around on and off for 5-6 years, mostly when he had women troubles I would then get a phone call.
2nd, was a friend of mine, but we weren't that close just mostly attracted to each other, didn't have any feelings for him, and then I found out he had a girlfriend and after that he wouldn't talk to me and that whole mess of drama, but once again no feelings there.
3rd, was a coworker of mine, we had messed around for 4 years off and on, and in between that time I was promoted and was his boss, and his bosses boss, he got engaged, I admitted I fell for him, he didn't feel as strongly (his now wife has their kid but I never messed around with him when he was with her), and I had to call the police on HER family on their wedding day while I was at work, and THAT was a horrible experience seeing them in their wedding gowns and tucks, I wanted to vomit everywhere I was shaking so bad, BUT still had to be professional. That basically became more complicated then what it should have been.
I did also have sex with a friend one time and told him no feelings attached, and we were always good friends, after that though anytime he had gotten a girlfriend he would completely ignore me or be really rude to me, even around all of our friends. GLAD I'm married now because people get attached very easily, and I know I did over the long term ones.
BOTTOM LINE- NOT A GOOD IDEA0 -
well, i would like to have some0
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I wonder how it affected the people surrounding you.I was watching The Big Bang TV comedy and Friends with Benefits got mentioned. So I wondered if others had experienced that type of relationship and how it went. Plus any other thoughts.
A few years ago, I had 3 Friends With Benefits, one after another, each FWB lasted around 6 months to 1 year each time. As far as I am concerned and the ladies it worked very well. We enjoyed days and nights out and had some great 'encounters'. But weren't hassle to each other, no jealously, none of the hassles and control that happen in 'partner' relationships. When we had, had enough we just said, shall we call it a day and moved on...
That's a strange comment... Didn't effect anyone around me at all (family or friends). I am an adult, single, living on own. Its 'basically dating', you go for a night out or stay in with another adult. So much less hardwork than 1st or 2nd dates every week etc...
Plus no sadness when FWB is over. And as you are getting your 'oats' and relaxed nights out with a person of the opposite sex. When you go on 1st dates to find 'the one' for a full on, hopefully long-term relationship and further dates, there is no pressure to 'be in a relationship' or to aim to get her knickers off, as you haven't had any for months... So can concentrate on if the person you have just started dating is right for you.0 -
They can be good but on the girls part emotions usually get the better of us (me)....0
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Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.
I wonder how it affected the people surrounding you.I was watching The Big Bang TV comedy and Friends with Benefits got mentioned. So I wondered if others had experienced that type of relationship and how it went. Plus any other thoughts.
A few years ago, I had 3 Friends With Benefits, one after another, each FWB lasted around 6 months to 1 year each time. As far as I am concerned and the ladies it worked very well. We enjoyed days and nights out and had some great 'encounters'. But weren't hassle to each other, no jealously, none of the hassles and control that happen in 'partner' relationships. When we had, had enough we just said, shall we call it a day and moved on...
That's a strange comment... Didn't effect anyone around me at all (family or friends). I am an adult, single, living on own. Its 'basically dating', you go for a night out or stay in with another adult. So much less hardwork than 1st or 2nd dates every week etc...
Plus no sadness when FWB is over. And as you are getting your 'oats' and relaxed nights out with a person of the opposite sex. When you go on 1st dates to find 'the one' for a full on, hopefully long-term relationship and further dates, there is no pressure to 'be in a relationship' or to aim to get her knickers off, as you haven't had any for months... So can concentrate on if the person you have just started dating is right for you.0 -
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[[/quote]
Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.
[/quote]
Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?0 -
I have had 3 of them in the past 2 out of 3 did not go good
1st one was an ex boyfriend, so of course that didn't go good- we dated for 6 months and messed around on and off for 5-6 years, mostly when he had women troubles I would then get a phone call.
2nd, was a friend of mine, but we weren't that close just mostly attracted to each other, didn't have any feelings for him, and then I found out he had a girlfriend and after that he wouldn't talk to me and that whole mess of drama, but once again no feelings there.
3rd, was a coworker of mine, we had messed around for 4 years off and on, and in between that time I was promoted and was his boss, and his bosses boss, he got engaged, I admitted I fell for him, he didn't feel as strongly (his now wife has their kid but I never messed around with him when he was with her), and I had to call the police on HER family on their wedding day while I was at work, and THAT was a horrible experience seeing them in their wedding gowns and tucks, I wanted to vomit everywhere I was shaking so bad, BUT still had to be professional. That basically became more complicated then what it should have been.
I did also have sex with a friend one time and told him no feelings attached, and we were always good friends, after that though anytime he had gotten a girlfriend he would completely ignore me or be really rude to me, even around all of our friends. GLAD I'm married now because people get attached very easily, and I know I did over the long term ones.
BOTTOM LINE- NOT A GOOD IDEA
I think you went wrong by knowing your FWB too well before they became FWB.... I have many female friends and would NEVER become FWB. It must be someone your hardly know, or don't know and have just met... Then there are no complications... And both need to know the rules/limits to the relationship.0 -
Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?
Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
(Pictured above, my five children)0 -
I could never do it, I get attached too easily. I also equate sex with love.0
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Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?
Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
(Pictured above, my five children)
What consequences??? Give us all the details not glib statements... DO you live in the real world? Or a fantasy? There are no consequences, if both understand its a fun relationship, with no hassles, totally honest, you can talk about all sorts of things and enjoy time together, its not just sex as I fear close-minded people think..
Perhaps, as I said, singles should they be Celibate? One night stands? or a regular partner that you can have great times with (out of the bedroom too) but with no stress and hassles. Until you find your 'love' or long-term partner...0 -
My favorite kind of friends.
How YOU Doin....0 -
My FWB was an ex...whenever neither of us were in a relationship or "on a break", we'd have those late night calls and amazing nights. No worries, no attachments...and when one of us would find ourselves in a relationship, the calls/texts would stop. From my point of view, there may always be some connection there...plus, he had the most comfortable bed.
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It works if boundaries are made clear at the start and it only lasts a short period of time. Me and my FWB still talk occasionally and we are both happy it went as well as it did and that it stopped when it did. No regrets 0
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Hasn't happened... clearly I need better friends.
HA! HA! clearly you do!!0 -
keep your legs open and your heart closed and it will work out great!!0
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Something I've missed out on lol. Never had any friends like that then again I don't have many friends irl mainly due to being happy and content without the bull**** that once was when I did have friends.0
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It's fun...'till it's not.
^^^ TRUTH0 -
I had one back in my college days, thought it was just fun times until he proposed out of the blue. :noway:0
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Going on holiday with my fb/fwb of two years in 4 weeks!!
I wouldn't recommend it for clingy possesive people but it works well with me,
All the good of a freind with none of the bad of a boyfreind!0 -
FWB is just stupid of course someone will get hurt eventually . GAMES that's all it is GAMES !!! People trying to be HIP and COOL is all it is LMFAO. and NO NEVER . Maybe a one- nighter with a friend when you are SINGLE who still your friend after a fun drunk night , but no not repeatedly feelings are bound to happen for someone unless you are just emotionless. what is wrong with people!! SKEEZERS!!0
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Yeah, consequences. Like, sexually transmitted diseases. Let's just start with that one. "Do you live in the real world."
Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?
Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
(Pictured above, my five children)
What consequences??? Give us all the details not glib statements... DO you live in the real world? Or a fantasy? There are no consequences, if both understand its a fun relationship, with no hassles, totally honest, you can talk about all sorts of things and enjoy time together, its not just sex as I fear close-minded people think..
Perhaps, as I said, singles should they be Celibate? One night stands? or a regular partner that you can have great times with (out of the bedroom too) but with no stress and hassles. Until you find your 'love' or long-term partner...0 -
Yeah, consequences. Like, sexually transmitted diseases. Let's just start with that one. "Do you live in the real world."
Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?
Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
(Pictured above, my five children)
What consequences??? Give us all the details not glib statements... DO you live in the real world? Or a fantasy? There are no consequences, if both understand its a fun relationship, with no hassles, totally honest, you can talk about all sorts of things and enjoy time together, its not just sex as I fear close-minded people think..
Perhaps, as I said, singles should they be Celibate? One night stands? or a regular partner that you can have great times with (out of the bedroom too) but with no stress and hassles. Until you find your 'love' or long-term partner...
having a fwb does not make a *kitten* nor cause stds....having unprotected sex causes stds and there are plenty of married people walking around out there with stds because they don't practice safe sex.0 -
I have two currently.
One is married and loves his wife, she just doesn't enjoy sex, so I help him out in that area. I get what I want, he gets what he wants and no messy emotions involved. We have been FWB for a little over 4 years.
The other is quite a bit younger than me (I'm 43 he's 23) so a FWB works best for us, I think it would be too hard trying to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me, but we have fun and hang out when we both have free time.
As long as all parties involved know that it is all for fun, no emotional baggage allowed, it works out great.0 -
Are you able to follow all the procedures so that you meet all the requirements for "safe sex"?
Yeah, consequences. Like, sexually transmitted diseases. Let's just start with that one. "Do you live in the real world."
Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?
Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
(Pictured above, my five children)
What consequences??? Give us all the details not glib statements... DO you live in the real world? Or a fantasy? There are no consequences, if both understand its a fun relationship, with no hassles, totally honest, you can talk about all sorts of things and enjoy time together, its not just sex as I fear close-minded people think..
Perhaps, as I said, singles should they be Celibate? One night stands? or a regular partner that you can have great times with (out of the bedroom too) but with no stress and hassles. Until you find your 'love' or long-term partner...
having a fwb does not make a *kitten* nor cause stds....having unprotected sex causes stds and there are plenty of married people walking around out there with stds because they don't practice safe sex.
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/can-one-get-sti-safer-sex-sex-worker
Are your partners, and all their partners, and their partner's partners also following these requirements? There's no "safe sex" certification. This "safe sex" is a lie. When you have sex with someone who has had sex before, they have unknown exposure.0 -
Just so you know... The guys in FWB relationships get feelings too. And expect you to make them sandwiches! Or try to stick around to talk!
I hate it when that happens.
Guy: want to cuddle?
Me: No. I am going to take a shower. Please be gone by the time I am out.0 -
Are you able to follow all the procedures so that you meet all the requirements for "safe sex"?having a fwb does not make a *kitten* nor cause stds....having unprotected sex causes stds and there are plenty of married people walking around out there with stds because they don't practice safe sex.
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/can-one-get-sti-safer-sex-sex-worker
Are your partners, and all their partners, and their partner's partners also following these requirements? There's no "safe sex" certification. This "safe sex" is a lie. When you have sex with someone who has had sex before, they have unknown exposure.
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having a fwb does NOT make one a prostitute nor mean having multiple partners......stds are not a consequence of fwb, stds are a consequence of sex....period! and this consequence can occur even among married people.0 -
Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't, b!tches be crazy!
I married mine :P
This. I'm about to marry mine.0 -
Just so you know... The guys in FWB relationships get feelings too. And expect you to make them sandwiches! Or try to stick around to talk!
Yeah, AND I don't cuddle!
In for the sandwiches, low carb please........
furburger perfered
Mine wanted me to make him a sandwich.... So strange.0 -
I had one the minute I was single over a year ago! Well not exactly a minute.. but a week after I left my ex. Lol I started hooking up with a co worker. We were really good friends already. And honestly, it NEVER got weird. Yay me.0
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It was hard to find a man who wanted this or accepted this from a woman's perspective even thought that was exactly what they wanted as well. I think it destroys a man's ego when woman are doing the deed and leaving and not falling in love or obsessed with them. Just my experience.0
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