Quit feeling sorry for yourself

Ademar111
Ademar111 Posts: 66 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I try to be as supportive to individuals as I can because I have struggled in the past, but when people post things like "OMG I went over my cal goal again"; well of course you did you had 3 ice cream bars. We all have gotten ourselves where we are today by eating unhealthy, so quit feeling sorry for yourself and get your butt to work. You are brining down other people with your negativitly due to a lack of commitment (in most cases, not all). No one said everything is going to taste like chocolate covered strawberrys; suck it up and in 6 months to a year you can eat what you want in moderation.

The individuals I am speaking of are the ones that continue to post how dispointed they are and they just want to quit everday because it is too hard. No one said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it!
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Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    But my water glass is empty and the kitchen is REALLY FAR.
  • ami5000psu
    ami5000psu Posts: 391 Member
    suck it up and in 6 months to a year you can eat what you want in moderation.

    Or you can just do that now.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Rar.

    This style of support works well for a lot of people. It doesn't work well for me. This is why it's important to cultivate a friend's list that supports you in the way you find most inspiring.

    I do have a few friends who tell me "Not bad, could be better" and that works for me. Gets my mind into the game of "What small changes could I make TODAY that will be better for TOMORROW?" Overall, though, being told to suck it up does nothing but make go "Well, fine - **** you then, I'll do what **I** want."

    That said, lots of people do well with the whole tough-love thing. DIfferent strokes for different folks.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
    In some cases it isn't that easy. Many of us here struggle with our emotions, and so we eat. And fixing our mental issues are far harder then changing the number on the scale.
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
    "brining" down, eh? Are you giving a class on pickling? Let me get my pencil...
  • Ademar111
    Ademar111 Posts: 66 Member
    suck it up and in 6 months to a year you can eat what you want in moderation.

    Or you can just do that now.

    Very True! The individuals I am speaking of are the ones that continue to post how dispointed they are and they just want to quit everday because it is too hard.
  • Ademar111
    Ademar111 Posts: 66 Member
    In some cases it isn't that easy. Many of us here struggle with our emotions, and so we eat. And fixing our mental issues are far harder then changing the number on the scale.

    I also struggle, but I would not bring others down with me.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    I get what your saying, but everyone is dealing with their own issue with weight loss. Like someone else said above, there are some people that are struggling with issues that result in them turning to food for comfort. That needs to get corrected first before they can be successful.

    Also, when it comes to food, you don't have to give up something until a person reaches their goal. You can moderate what you eat now.

    It's all about a person finding a program that works best for THEM. Everyone is different. One way of weight loss may not be right or work for another person.
  • Terryj20
    Terryj20 Posts: 33
    Well said Tworthen79!!!!
  • plantgrrl
    plantgrrl Posts: 436 Member
    In some cases it isn't that easy. Many of us here struggle with our emotions, and so we eat. And fixing our mental issues are far harder then changing the number on the scale.

    Truth. Some of us might have issued because we were being told to "suck it up" all the time--literally or figuratively. A lot of us self medicate with food, without realizing it. Sometimes we don't want to feel alone in our journey. Sorry to "brine" your curve. You and your pissy friends can go off in a self-congratulatory corner and talk about how you're all so much more committed then the rest of us--with your Yoda quotes. "Do or do not. There is no try."
  • Doone33
    Doone33 Posts: 171 Member
    In some cases it isn't that easy. Many of us here struggle with our emotions, and so we eat. And fixing our mental issues are far harder then changing the number on the scale.

    I believe when people have a emotional eating disorder.. of any kind.... I do not believe others really understand... sometimes its hard to understand... Cancer eats us, Aids eats, Tumors change more than just some pounds..... But emotional issues are hidden often and cant be seen or are not discussed with the public (if they are noticing them.. time to seek some outside assistance!) So often it is so very hard for those who don't have that struggle in their life to understand the journey to just overcome that... let alone the eating habits and then loosing the weight! But he is right.... It may not be as easy as some others.. but everyone can do despite your personal battles! JS
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    Rar.

    This style of support works well for a lot of people. It doesn't work well for me. This is why it's important to cultivate a friend's list that supports you in the way you find most inspiring.

    I do have a few friends who tell me "Not bad, could be better" and that works for me. Gets my mind into the game of "What small changes could I make TODAY that will be better for TOMORROW?" Overall, though, being told to suck it up does nothing but make go "Well, fine - **** you then, I'll do what **I** want."

    That said, lots of people do well with the whole tough-love thing. DIfferent strokes for different folks.

    Well said! :flowerforyou: wanna be friendsies? :)
  • FrankiesSaysRelax
    FrankiesSaysRelax Posts: 403 Member
    I don't think I understand.. how is anyone bringing others down by their failure to eat well? You do realize that many people here have an unhealthy relationship with food, correct? It isn't that easy to just "suck it up."

    There is a very unhealthy mentality around dieting, however. People try to restrict so much that they end up bingeing and consuming the 3 ice cream bars you're talking about. Moderation is key here. I think everyone needs support and to realize that one or two bad days isn't going to derail all your efforts. There are definitely people who aren't trying very hard, but the majority are working and need guidance, motivation and advice. You won't help anyone by telling them to suck it up.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Did you consider just saying this to the people who you want the message to go to rather than putting your friends on blast in a public forum?


    ETA: ohhh wait.. Nvm...its not your friends that you're trying to help, its all of MFP you're trying to boss around. Got it.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    Oh goodness. This might not end well.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,285 Member
    You have the option to unfriend them.... they probably won't notice.
  • Makajo2013
    Makajo2013 Posts: 8 Member
    Thank you - I needed that..... I don't feel sorry for myself but am not dedicated yet.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    suck it up and in 6 months to a year you can eat what you want in moderation.

    Or you can just do that now.

    ^^^ this

    you don't need to wait until you're at maintenance to do that, just set your calorie goal to where you're eating the most calories you can while still losing weight steadily. You'll take a little longer to get there, but maintenance will be a lot easier because you'll have already learned how to enjoy all the foods you love in moderation and you never felt deprived so continuing with your new lifestyle will be easy.

    Short term thinking like "six months of torture then I can go back to eating normally" is the main reason why 95% of diets fail in the long term and why people get stuck in cycles of yo-yo dieting.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I don't think I understand.. how is anyone bringing others down by their failure to eat well? You do realize that many people here have an unhealthy relationship with food, correct? It isn't that easy to just "suck it up."

    There is a very unhealthy mentality around dieting, however. People try to restrict so much that they end up bingeing and consuming the 3 ice cream bars you're talking about. Moderation is key here. I think everyone needs support and to realize that one or two bad days isn't going to derail all your efforts. There are definitely people who aren't trying very hard, but the majority are working and need guidance, motivation and advice. You won't help anyone by telling them to suck it up.

    ^^^ I agree with this. Too much restriction and too much "sucking it up" is not sustainable in the long term. If the eating plan is that hard to stick to, or someone is frequently bingeing, then that's a sign that they're not on a suitable eating plan.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
    So talking about it on a support forum is bringing others down. I'm sorry these individuals including myself, come here for support. Not to be ridiculed for having a bad day, week or even a freaking month. They are trying, they are here daily and that deserves some credit. If you don't like it and it ruins your precious day. Then overlook their comments, ignore their words or maybe just unfriend them.....problem solved. Now you can skip merrily to the gym and have your awesome days full of success.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,285 Member
    Short term thinking like "six months of torture then I can go back to eating normally" is the main reason why 95% of diets fail in the long term and why people get stuck in cycles of yo-yo dieting.

    Exactly. Been there. Took many years for the light bulb to finally go on.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

    YES I CAN. YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT. NOW GET BACK IN THE BEDROOM.
  • Ademar111
    Ademar111 Posts: 66 Member
    Not trying to boss anyone around. I actually enjoy all of the feedback be it positive or negative. This is a hot topic and has brought a lot of responses. Some will make friends from this, others will motivate them selves, and most of you will probably congratulate all of your friends on what a well job they are doing today just because you want to be the positive one.

    Controversial forums tend to bring more people then happy ones unfortunately.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    In some cases it isn't that easy. Many of us here struggle with our emotions, and so we eat. And fixing our mental issues are far harder then changing the number on the scale.

    I also struggle, but I would not bring others down with me.

    some people, like you maybe, like to keep the negative part of their struggle inside. For some people, sharing their struggles with their support network helps them to feel connected to other people, and helps them feel less alone, especially when someone else response with "i know just how you feel! yesterday sucked for me too, but today is better, you can do it!" And sometimes, people struggle for weeks, months, years, before they find their stride. You don't have to like it. Different strokes for different folks.
  • lindaland1
    lindaland1 Posts: 25 Member
    You and your pissy friends can go off in a self-congratulatory corner and talk about how you're all so much more committed then the rest of us--with your Yoda quotes. "Do or do not. There is no try."


    Agree!!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Not trying to boss anyone around. I actually enjoy all of the feedback be it positive or negative. This is a hot topic and has brought a lot of responses. Some will make friends from this, others will motivate them selves, and most of you will probably congratulate all of your friends on what a well job they are doing today just because you want to be the positive one.

    Controversial forums tend to bring more people then happy ones unfortunately.

    The actual subject of your post isn't a hot topic, the fact that you think you can instruct thousands of members on how to behave is what brought the people out.
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    Not trying to boss anyone around. I actually enjoy all of the feedback be it positive or negative. This is a hot topic and has brought a lot of responses. Some will make friends from this, others will motivate them selves, and most of you will probably congratulate all of your friends on what a well job they are doing today just because you want to be the positive one.

    Controversial forums tend to bring more people then happy ones unfortunately.

    The actual subject of your post isn't a hot topic, the fact that you think you can instruct thousands of members on how to behave is what brought the people out.

    This.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Not trying to boss anyone around. I actually enjoy all of the feedback be it positive or negative. This is a hot topic and has brought a lot of responses. Some will make friends from this, others will motivate them selves, and most of you will probably congratulate all of your friends on what a well job they are doing today just because you want to be the positive one.

    Controversial forums tend to bring more people then happy ones unfortunately.

    The actual subject of your post isn't a hot topic, the fact that you think you can instruct thousands of members on how to behave is what brought the people out.

    This.

    Many of us have spent years - if not decades or possibly a lifetime - inside a prison woven of berating ourselves, be it for weight or other reasons. The way out for those people isn't to hurt ourselves more with talk that further knocks us down. Your post flies in the face of the multitudes of human experience and your defense of it only proves your arrogance.

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