Friends With Benefits, your experiences or thoughts

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Replies

  • skydiveD30571
    skydiveD30571 Posts: 281 Member
    I am now accepting applications :happy:
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member

    Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.
    Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?

    Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
    (Pictured above, my five children)

    What consequences??? Give us all the details not glib statements... DO you live in the real world? Or a fantasy? There are no consequences, if both understand its a fun relationship, with no hassles, totally honest, you can talk about all sorts of things and enjoy time together, its not just sex as I fear close-minded people think..

    Perhaps, as I said, singles should they be Celibate? One night stands? or a regular partner that you can have great times with (out of the bedroom too) but with no stress and hassles. Until you find your 'love' or long-term partner...
    Yeah, consequences. Like, sexually transmitted diseases. Let's just start with that one. "Do you live in the real world."

    having a fwb does not make a *kitten* nor cause stds....having unprotected sex causes stds and there are plenty of married people walking around out there with stds because they don't practice safe sex.
    Are you able to follow all the procedures so that you meet all the requirements for "safe sex"?
    http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/can-one-get-sti-safer-sex-sex-worker
    Are your partners, and all their partners, and their partner's partners also following these requirements? There's no "safe sex" certification. This "safe sex" is a lie. When you have sex with someone who has had sex before, they have unknown exposure.


    So I guess you were a virgin when you met your husband? And since produced more children than necessary, as the world is over populated... Little Miss Perfect? I've always practiced safe sex, apart from when I was in my first sexual relationship (met age 17) and lasted for 19 years, then met my other ex' (5 yrs relationship) we have child. Always safe otherwise, but why is that so concerning YOU? Your husband playing around? You can have unsafe sex, but again, its up to the individual to check themselves, or ask the other. Hence why FWB and not one nighters... MANY FWB last longer than many marriages...
  • IamDIVAlicious
    IamDIVAlicious Posts: 19
    I love, love, love it! If I could find someone local (within an half hour), I would be in seventh Heaven!! Alas, all I find are people who want something more trying to handcuff me (and not in the pleasurable way)...

    Ugh
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
    I love, love, love it! If I could find someone local (within an half hour), I would be in seventh Heaven!! Alas, all I find are people who want something more trying to handcuff me (and not in the pleasurable way)...

    Ugh

    I wish I was in 30 mins, never had a black girlfriend or FWB. ;-) To stop getting handcuffed in an unpleasurable way, stop breaking the windows of the diamond jewelry store everynight... :) Get someone to buy them for you.... :-)
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member

    Why is it strange? This thing does not happen in a vacuum. It is not without consequences.
    Your question was strange because its just two people having a relationship with no hassles... Polluting the world with too many children has many consequences for the over populated planet. Two people having night and days out and fun in the bedroom harms noone, as long as both parties know its not permanent and a no hassles relationship... Perhaps you would like all single people to live like nuns until married? Or do you mean single people should have one night stands?

    Your decision to do this thing is just that....your decision. You have the freedom to choose what you will do, but....you cannot choose the consequences of what you do, consequences are built in. When you choose to do something....consider the consequences!!!
    (Pictured above, my five children)

    What consequences??? Give us all the details not glib statements... DO you live in the real world? Or a fantasy? There are no consequences, if both understand its a fun relationship, with no hassles, totally honest, you can talk about all sorts of things and enjoy time together, its not just sex as I fear close-minded people think..

    Perhaps, as I said, singles should they be Celibate? One night stands? or a regular partner that you can have great times with (out of the bedroom too) but with no stress and hassles. Until you find your 'love' or long-term partner...
    Yeah, consequences. Like, sexually transmitted diseases. Let's just start with that one. "Do you live in the real world."

    having a fwb does not make a *kitten* nor cause stds....having unprotected sex causes stds and there are plenty of married people walking around out there with stds because they don't practice safe sex.
    Are you able to follow all the procedures so that you meet all the requirements for "safe sex"?
    http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/can-one-get-sti-safer-sex-sex-worker
    Are your partners, and all their partners, and their partner's partners also following these requirements? There's no "safe sex" certification. This "safe sex" is a lie. When you have sex with someone who has had sex before, they have unknown exposure.


    So I guess you were a virgin when you met your husband? And since produced more children than necessary, as the world is over populated... Little Miss Perfect? I've always practiced safe sex, apart from when I was in my first sexual relationship (met age 17) and lasted for 19 years, then met my other ex' (5 yrs relationship) we have child. Always safe otherwise, but why is that so concerning YOU? Your husband playing around? You can have unsafe sex, but again, its up to the individual to check themselves, or ask the other. Hence why FWB and not one nighters... MANY FWB last longer than many marriages...
    Yes, and I will be guiding my children that way, too. And we don't have to worry about STD's because we are with only each other.
    No consequences? Always safe? Check yourself, or ask the other?
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    ......stds are not a consequence of fwb, stds are a consequence of sex....period! and this consequence can occur even among married people.
    Why do they have an STD?
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    I married mine. Worked great for me :drinker:
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
    ......stds are not a consequence of fwb, stds are a consequence of sex....period! and this consequence can occur even among married people.
    Why do they have an STD?

    You have some real hang-ups, hope you've stopped having sex, we don't want any more people on the planet... So yes, you can STD at anytime, first time anytime... SO I SUGGEST you stop having sex... and let the rest of us get on with it... :-)
  • Parmcat
    Parmcat Posts: 268 Member
    Unless she has a good dental plan, I steer clear
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    I've been in situations where we were clear we weren't in a relationship, but there was still jealousy, no ability to see others and the obligation to the other to hang out once a week. Everyone always said these were relationships. After all was said and done, when I talk about them, I call them pseudo relationships but not relationships because we were in fact NOT boyfriend/girlfriend officially.

    Everything always gets messy. Steer clear.

    I am very happy in my real RELATIONSHIP now :love:
  • bohomaze
    bohomaze Posts: 12
    It all started with being just friends with benefits-now we are togheter. Ive never been happier :)
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    ......stds are not a consequence of fwb, stds are a consequence of sex....period! and this consequence can occur even among married people.
    Why do they have an STD?

    Some STDS show no symptoms for years, and some STDS can be transmitted even with condom use. There is ALWAYS the possibility of not knowing you have something or passing something without knowing. STDS are SCARY beasts.
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
    ......stds are not a consequence of fwb, stds are a consequence of sex....period! and this consequence can occur even among married people.
    Why do they have an STD?

    Some STDS show no symptoms for years, and some STDS can be transmitted even with condom use. There is ALWAYS the possibility of not knowing you have something or passing something without knowing. STDS are SCARY beasts.

    IMPORTANT -
    This Thread isn't a STD thread... May I suggest that anyone who has not 'married' their first sexual partner NEVER has sex again... We could be chatting about 'Hair Lice' - Don't put your head on a cushion that someone else used.

    This Thread is about FWB, std is a aspect ALL sexual relations (married, dating etc) have to deal with... This thread is about your experiences, or thoughts, not general sexual health aspects.
  • Shamrock_me
    Shamrock_me Posts: 161
    I'm way too crazy to succeed at this one. I try but something always goes awry - either I get attached or he does, or I want more benefits than he does, or the friend part gets awkward. It's fun for a time or two if I want to take the edge off of those long dry spells in the arena but more than twice is playing with fire :devil: :smokin: I'm just a keeper girl
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Long before I knew the term FWB, I had many. :laugh:

    My experience is that the easiest, guaranteed to work ones, are with people already in open, emotional relationships with someone else, because then you know you're not expected to fulfil that role.

    I was only free and single for about 2-3 years total before I met my DH, so I don't know how it would have been with a ticking biological clock to contend with.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    I believe that we as mammals are genetically programmed to be attached to (and protective of) a mate, to improve the survival rate of our offsprings. But, people are different. Personally it's not easy for me to be attracted enough to a woman to sleep with her, but not attracted enough to build a relationship. I can't imagine sleeping with any woman unless there's something in her personality that I like, otherwise it's gonna feel like humping a doll. Now, if I like her personality, then I run a high risk of getting attached.
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
    I have two currently.

    One is married and loves his wife, she just doesn't enjoy sex, so I help him out in that area. I get what I want, he gets what he wants and no messy emotions involved. We have been FWB for a little over 4 years.

    The other is quite a bit younger than me (I'm 43 he's 23) so a FWB works best for us, I think it would be too hard trying to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me, but we have fun and hang out when we both have free time.

    As long as all parties involved know that it is all for fun, no emotional baggage allowed, it works out great.


    Good for you girl... I used to FWB a girl that had a few more than me as a FWB... I was quite happy, we enjoyed our times out and IN, until we had just had enough...
  • angelgoone
    angelgoone Posts: 50
    I had a FWB for a few months and it was great. We occasionally talk and he introduced me to a new world of sex and he was my best friend and teacher. No emotions got mangled. Now we are just friends although I do miss the sex.
  • italian_bella_xo
    italian_bella_xo Posts: 147
    No, my body isn't a theme park that everyone gets a ride on lol. But seriously, I can only imagine someone getting hurt in the end and losing a good friend and it's really not worth it to me. I'd rather save that for someone that I'm seriously involved with. I apploud everyone else that can make it work :flowerforyou:

    ^^ my thoughts exactly. :wink:
  • patfriendly
    patfriendly Posts: 263 Member
    always sounds like a good idea. I have only heard other people talk about it like people in this post. I was never lucky enough to get an FWB. All the girls I have met seemed to want commitment. Who knows may be in future..
  • tammys_changing
    tammys_changing Posts: 657
    Sounds like a great idea, I can agree! But then most things always sound better than they actually are. :ohwell:
  • m00tmike
    m00tmike Posts: 248 Member
    After years of research, b!tches be crazy.

    Made me lol :laugh: :laugh:
  • MORECHABLIS
    MORECHABLIS Posts: 164 Member
    Currently doing the fwb it works for us we dont have sex with anyone else but have the freedom to go out and do what ever we please and not have to worry about anything, Hmmmm should call him tonight lol


    I hope you called him... Until you are ready for a long term commitment, FWB best option compared with what else is available to singletons.
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