Monty Python Quote-a-rama.

124

Replies

  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Stan: I want to have babies.
    Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
    Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
    Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
    Stan: Don't you oppress me!
    Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?\
  • ChristineS_51
    ChristineS_51 Posts: 872 Member
    Not a quote - they don't speak ...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s

    Sorry couldn't get a .gif to work
  • ChristineS_51
    ChristineS_51 Posts: 872 Member
    Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    It's only a flesh wound...
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    It's only a flesh wound...

    You're a looney...
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    It's only a flesh wound...

    You're a looney...

    Al right, we can call it a draw.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    "Come, Patsy."
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Unbelievable gifted, funny and creative, these 6 guys from England.

    5 from England
    1 from US

    wait who was from the US?
  • SStruthers13
    SStruthers13 Posts: 150 Member
    I'm getting better.
  • SStruthers13
    SStruthers13 Posts: 150 Member
    Unbelievable gifted, funny and creative, these 6 guys from England.

    5 from England
    1 from US

    wait who was from the US?

    Terry Gillian
  • hajenkatt
    hajenkatt Posts: 331 Member
    Look at the bones!!
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    I am TIIMMM!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,771 Member
    Mt. Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb. It's rather steep till it gets to the top but then it starts to slope away rather sharply...
  • johe28
    johe28 Posts: 108 Member
    tumblr_inline_mqesyg9qbj1qz4rgp.gif
  • tonybalony01
    tonybalony01 Posts: 613 Member
    dancing-knights-o.gif
    [/quote]

    "On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    King: You only killed the bride's father, you know.
    Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
    King: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.
    Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid.

    This parrot has ceased to be....

    1, 2, 5...
    3 sir...
    right...3!!!

    This is a vegetarian restaurant — we serve no meat of any kind. We're not only proud of that, we're smug about it.

    Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don't think any of our contestants tonight succeeded in encapsulating the intricacies of Proust's masterwork. So, I'm going to give the award to the girl with the biggest tits.

    Now, you listen here: 'e's not the Messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
    Who was very rarely stable.
    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
    Who could think you under the table.
    David Hume could out-consume
    Schopenhauer and Hegel,
    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
    Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

    There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
    'Bout the raising of the wrist.
    SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...

    John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
    On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
    Plato, they say, could stick it away;
    Half a crate of whiskey every day.
    Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
    Hobbes was fond of his dram,
    And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
    Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
    A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
    I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too
    I love to hear you oralize
    When I'm between your thighs
    You blow me away

    Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
    I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
    Life can be fine if we both sixty nine
    If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
    And play till we're blown away
  • cyclist_44060
    cyclist_44060 Posts: 86 Member
    "It's just a flesh wound"

    This one is my fav!
  • Steffani911
    Steffani911 Posts: 196 Member
    Good afternoon, sir. And how are we today?
    Better.
    Better?
    Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up.
  • LesaDave
    LesaDave Posts: 1,480 Member
    "You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. "

    Which is followed shortly by the song:
    Bravely ran Sir Robin,
    Sir Robin ran away!
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,771 Member
    Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
    Customer: Would it be worth it?
    Owner: Could be....
    Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!
    Owner: Told you sir....
    Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?
    Owner: No.
    Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
    Owner: Yessir?
    Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.
    Owner: Yes, sir.
    Customer: Really?
    (pause)
    Owner: No. Not really, sir.
    Customer: You haven't.
    Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
    Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
    Owner: Right-Oh, sir.
    (The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)
    Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.
  • dpwellman
    dpwellman Posts: 3,271 Member
    "I'm trying not to be seen"

    "I see. Is this through fear?"

    "Oh no. It's common sense really. If they can't see you they can't get you."

    "Ah, but of course they can still hear you"

    "Huh?"

    [BOOM!]
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    588.gif
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    tumblr_lr2zxztNxv1qc2036o1_500.gif
  • Just_Wil
    Just_Wil Posts: 108 Member
    Don't like her?! What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    "Did you come here for an argument?"
  • girlie100
    girlie100 Posts: 646 Member
    "Camelot"
    "Camelot"
    "Camelot"
    "its only a model"

    hahaha :)
  • Scubadivr205
    Scubadivr205 Posts: 427 Member
    Now leave or I will taunt you a second time

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