Others jealous of your weight loss??

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24

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  • sokkache
    sokkache Posts: 220 Member
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    Nobody has been jealous of my weight loss, mainly because I don't really look any different from when I started, maybe a little more defined/toned. My mom told me not to get any skinnier because then all the boys would go after me. So I guess that's sort of a backhanded compliment. But I want to be skinnier and fitter so she can complain all she wants when I reach my goal weight and end up going on dates with 5 different guys(which probably won't happen btw)
  • willnevergiveup
    willnevergiveup Posts: 138 Member
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    One SIL asked me if I were taking diet pills or if I'd had stomach reduction surgery. No. Another asked my husband if I had cancer. I don't. My sister thought I had an eating disorder. Absolutely not.

    Note: I weighed 227 in April and weigh 185 now. I've 5'2". I'm not exactly wasting away here. <eye roll icon>
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    Why do you automatically assume that they are jealous? Sounds like some are concerned and some are intrigued.

    It is far more likely that YOU want them to be jealous of you.

    I don't think so...I am not one to look down my nose at people and want them to look up to me and be jealous...that is not who I am. I just get annoyed that they think I am popping pills and starving myself.
  • jodi41086
    jodi41086 Posts: 240
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    While training for shows I pretty much lose all my friends since I can't drink, can't really go out to eat without badgering the wait staff about how everything is prepared. I end up a loner lol, except my hubby who is right there with me. I have had friends ask "Is it really all worth it? since you don't really win anything." It gives me confidence, and being fit just feels great. I don't compare myself to others I just push myself to see what I can do. I do look up to some of the greats like Dana Lynn Bailey for motivation. Always ask yourself if you are doing it for yourself. Then it won't matter what other people think.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    While training for shows I pretty much lose all my friends since I can't drink, can't really go out to eat without badgering the wait staff about how everything is prepared. I end up a loner lol, except my hubby who is right there with me. I have had friends ask "Is it really all worth it? since you don't really win anything." It gives me confidence, and being fit just feels great. I don't compare myself to others I just push myself to see what I can do. I do look up to some of the greats like Dana Lynn Bailey for motivation. Always ask yourself if you are doing it for yourself. Then it won't matter what other people think.

    Yes, and I haven't felt as good as I do now in a really long time and that is what really matters.

    You look great BTW! Good luck :)
  • almasters90
    almasters90 Posts: 38 Member
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    Same problem here :( Just be happy with yourself and let them believe what they want. No point in trying to convince them there's no magic pill if that's all they're letting themselves believe. It's also understandable that you would want them to see that you put a great deal of hard work into making yourself healthy and happy.. just think that the words underlying all of the denial is that, YOU LOOK GREAT! They also should be supporting and encouraging you. Goodwork btw and keep it up!
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
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    I laugh
  • Girlrose
    Girlrose Posts: 127 Member
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    My younger sister always prided herself in having a better body than me. As I started to lose weight, many people started to comment on how alike we look and a few even mistook me for her. Now, I weigh twenty pounds less than she does and she said she feels upset just seeing me sometimes. I think the jealousy some people have for weight loss is because they feel bad that they have not been able to accomplish what you have.
  • HeatherKImbell1
    HeatherKImbell1 Posts: 2 Member
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    I'm half way to my goal weight and some people have been snarky about my weight loss "What do you mean you are only half way! What are you trying to be a super model or something?" (NO! But I would like to be as healthy and fit as this 40 year old Grandma can be!)
    What I have experienced is losing friends along the way because I take the time for fitness and to work on me. I will not go without my 90 minutes of exercise a day, even if it means it cuts into our time to hang out... sorry. Only one or two friends have been understanding about that (somehow if I was going to work or had family obligations it would be okay, but since it's just making it to Cross Fit class I shouldn't make the effort?)
    But... I've made new like-minded friends who share my new interest in health, nutrition and fitness... some people are just in your life for a season or a reason and when that time is up, well move on.
  • AnnElizabeth11
    AnnElizabeth11 Posts: 30
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    I agree with many people's comments on here. When other's see us breaking our backs, busting our *kitten*'s, and being "health nuts" they think we're crazy. And when we tell them truthfully that it's not some magic diet pill or new weight loss rave, we're just eating healthy daily, exercising as much as we can that suits our needs, and eating what our body needs, they look at us like we're from another planet altogether. I've only lost 1/4 of my weight i want to lose, and already i've gotten compliments, yet have asked, well, how skinny do you want to be? It's like i'm not doing this to be skinny or drastically thin. I'm doing this to be a healthy more active Mom. I don't want to be a slob anymore and eat gross salty and greasy food and know in a few years down the road I could get really sick, or get diabetes or whatever right. I'm doing this to be healthier for my family so I can stay around as long as possible and be on top of my game :)
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
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    Maybe I read this situation wrong, but I have a friend of mines who isn't nearly as friendly as she was back when I was much heavier. I didn't rub the weight loss in her face because who does that?

    Anyways we met up with some more friends of ours at a shopping outlet and decided to just walk around looking at clothes. After some hours of laughter and fun, we all go our separate ways. All in all it was fun until another mutual friend confesses that this girl had been saying really snarky things under her breath when it came to me. I mean I don't think it was intentionally trying to hurt feelings, but she'd gone as far as saying, 'Why ask her about clothing anymore since she's all skinny? She can fit whatever she wants now." (not verbatim but close enough).

    She'd complimented me when we first met up, so it was a bit of a shocker to hear that throughout that evening she'd been throwing out backhanded compliments (She said much more than that). I never knew losing weight would turn your friends into .. well.. frenemies.
  • Nerdybreisawesome
    Nerdybreisawesome Posts: 359 Member
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    I sent a friend a progress pic of me and she said congrats and then didn't speak to me for two months. I would text her and she would never text back. She told me before this that she wasn't really losing the weight like she wanted to and I guess seeing that I did lose some made her jealous enough not to talk to me. I was like really????
  • thenextstep
    thenextstep Posts: 54
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    I've always been the "friend" people hung out with to make themselves look better. Now that I'm starting to look better those "friends" don't seem to come around anymore, imagine that. Now that I've lost a bit of weight, I've got comments that I'm getting to small, my goals are unrealistic, that I have small boobs now, things just to try cut down all my hard work. All the comments just made me work harder.
  • jdyg81
    jdyg81 Posts: 48 Member
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    Nobody ever wants to hear the secret to weight loss involves doing work.


    Yes no such thing as a magic pill
  • MyzGina
    MyzGina Posts: 32 Member
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    Maybe it's not all jealousy. Maybe it's their way of saying I'm inspired by your progress show me how I don't know where to start.

    Or Could it be you that's cocky about your progress and think everyone is jealous when they probably also can careless.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Weight loss is hard. So hard, in fact, that most people think that it can't really be done, at least not the right way. So, yes, they probably are jealous...and a bit incredulous. I'd take it as a compliment.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    I think they're jealous of me with or without weight loss. So much jealousy everywhere. They're just haters,, right?

    I'm jealous of you.

    Me too! Dos abs dough....
  • hararayne
    hararayne Posts: 261 Member
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    I've posted about it a couple times on Facebook when I hit a big milestone, and there's been two people who ask me every time what I'm doing. I tell them I've been counting calories and exercising, but I suppose they think I must be doing something new and special in order to keep losing weight. Nope, I just didn't give up.

    I've asked people what they do to lose weight. It's not that I'm lookingfor a special cure all. More that I'm curious what they changed, and what exercise activities they enjoy. I'm never ever down playing their accomplishments when I ask. Losing weight takes a certain mind set, and usually we need to trick ourselves to keep going, like hiding fun activities into our workouts, or I heard one girl on here watched portions very closely, lifted weights and ate one serving of icecream every single day without fail.

    Not just to you, but everyone on here getting upset about people being jealous. Wasn't that a small part of the point? While I don't doubt that their are people that are snarky, it IS NOT as simple as I ate less and moved more. There are psychological processes at work that people are curious about because they haven't had those processes yet. Don't assume when someone asks that they are being rude or thinking that you took diet pills. Maybe they want to know how you stayed motivated, what activities inspired you to keep being active, what foods satiated you. Catch my drift?
  • gillmitch
    gillmitch Posts: 64
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    I think that sometimes as much as you don't want to be jealous it's a natural reaction ,My sister had a gastric bypass almost 2 years ago and I wanted with every inch of my being not to be jealous because I was really really happy for her but there it was jealousy not like horrible remarks or hating her for it but it made me hate myself and it's one of the main reasons that I'm on this journey myself.

    I guess what i'm trying to say is that maybe when your thinking that your friends are not happy for you and your weight loss really its themselves that there not happy with .
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    ... Why do people have to be so jealous of your hard work?...

    Because your success reminds them of their failure. That's not your problem, though, it's theirs, so don't make it yours. I try not to worry about stuff that I can't control. Just be proud of the progress you've made! :flowerforyou:

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