This is unfair...

2

Replies

  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    You know what is unfair? I have friends in the Dominican... and friends on their way to Hawaii this week, that is unfair.

    Choosing to be healthy is hardly unfair.
  • hillarydemary
    hillarydemary Posts: 3 Member
    Life's not fair, just change your odds of having more life while it's not being fair. :)
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    Everyone who loves food like I do knows how hard it is to pick the right food meal after meal. That means 5 right choices a day(3 meals and 2 snacks). So 35 times of doing the right thing in a week, which is wayyy too tuff. All I have to do it do 2 or 3 bad choices and the scale screams. That is after doing a moderate workout of 3-4 times a week. This is sooo not fair. Looks like I'm set up for failure.

    Yes. Yes, you are.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    In addition to what else has been said, if I were a gambling woman, I'd be willing to bet that your scale "screaming" when you make a "bad" choice is just normal fluctuations from carbs or sodium.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    Not sure how this is unfair. what do you think the rest of us have to do? There really aren't 35 choices to make in a week. Just one. Do you want to take control of your life and eat within your calorie budget or would you rather say "Poor Me!!!" and throw in the towel before giving weight loss a sincere shot?

    It's okay if you choose the latter option. Doesn't make you a failure; it just means you aren't ready yet. I was in "Poor Me, This is Hard" mode for years before I finally decided that I was in charge of my own fate.

    Pretty much this. I wouldn't expect a whole lot of positive reinforcement for your little pity party that you're throwing yourself either. Pretty much every single person on these forums deals with the same thing - calling it unfair is a joke.
  • Donald_Dozier_50
    Donald_Dozier_50 Posts: 395 Member
    This is not fair? You sound like my grandchildren but they have an excuse, they are children.

    Like I tell them, todays version of "fair" means "equal" regardless of effort and I can assure you that everyone else here, myself included, have to make the right choice as far as foods and portion sizes that same 35 times a week and it is therefore FAIR and EQUAL.
  • i for one understand what u are talking about, my husband and i are watching what we eat-due to his health condition- and we can watch everyday and be very careful and we will loose, or at least maintain. and when we go and have to stop on the road and get something to eat, well, even if we do choose very carefully and ask for no sauces on it seems as if we will gain a little the next morning, but (we weigh everyday, his doctors orders) and i have seen by writing it down every morning that in a day or 2 the extra comes back off, i have looked back at the weeks that we have been doing this and we rock, back and forth within 1 lb or 2 for a week or so then we will get to a lower weight and then we will do the rocking with it for a while, and even though we do gain a little it never really puts us back to the top to stay,so just keep on and it will work, we will all gain a little from time to time,but the over all picture will be better in the long run.just watch, count and log as much as you can and if you do see a little gain, don't give up.. if you keep watching it will come off,
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    Not sure how this is unfair. what do you think the rest of us have to do? There really aren't 35 choices to make in a week. Just one. Do you want to take control of your life and eat within your calorie budget or would you rather say "Poor Me!!!" and throw in the towel before giving weight loss a sincere shot?

    It's okay if you choose the latter option. Doesn't make you a failure; it just means you aren't ready yet. I was in "Poor Me, This is Hard" mode for years before I finally decided that I was in charge of my own fate.

    ^^^^ Yup!
  • reggie2run
    reggie2run Posts: 477 Member
    Not sure how this is unfair. what do you think the rest of us have to do? There really aren't 35 choices to make in a week. Just one. Do you want to take control of your life and eat within your calorie budget or would you rather say "Poor Me!!!" and throw in the towel before giving weight loss a sincere shot?

    It's okay if you choose the latter option. Doesn't make you a failure; it just means you aren't ready yet. I was in "Poor Me, This is Hard" mode for years before I finally decided that I was in charge of my own fate.

    ^^^^ Yup!


    Ditto!!
  • Smaller portions and having some variety in those meals..! mix it up. In saying that tho if you do have a cheat meal or something its good to peak you metabolism. It's all about keeping your body guessing with food and your workouts.
  • mssierra2u
    mssierra2u Posts: 86 Member
    OK. Sometimes it's ok if it feels overwhelming...but it's not ok to quit. I manage "Project Moi" by having the same thing for breakfast most mornings, cooking all my weekday lunches and packaging them on Sunday, and having a fresh veggie omelet for dinner. Snacks are usually a few choices that can be rotated (sometimes something salty, sometimes something sweet). It is almost impossible to make a great choice every single time, but if you are on point for most of them, the damage done by a bad choice will not demolish your progress.

    It's not all or nothing, but if you make it so in your head, you are just a few more fatalistic moments from quitting. Which I know from personal experience. Don't do it! Time flies. Next year, you will hopefully be a year older, but you can either be in the same place you are now or a year into your own "Project Moi". Best of luck to you.
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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  • I started this on May 28th of this year and I've lost 20 lbs since then. There were times when I went up 3 pounds overnight and other times when I lost 5 lbs in as many days. I had good days and bad days, made good choices and bad choices. I did pig out at Golden Corral once (bad, bad choice), I've may have eaten two Krispy Kreme creme filled donuts one right after another, shhhh. (even worse choice) I've even gone back for a third slice of pizza on more than one occasion since then. There were other indiscretions along the way. I regretted everyone of my bad choices but one thing I didn't do is quit. I just got up the next day and kept on keeping on. Now, barely three months later I've lost 20 lbs. .You can do it too, in spite of making a bad choice every now and then. One thing you need to be consistent in is NOT giving up. Get your head in the right place and do this. Good luck.
  • guessrs
    guessrs Posts: 358 Member
    I totally agree with you.

    Having said that, we have to suck it up, make healthy food choices, exercise portion control and move, move, move. It's all worth it when you see the scale arrow move to the left for the first time.

    Be tough and do the right thing, anyways.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    The best thing about really great food is that it has a lot of flavor so you don't need a ton of it to enjoy it.
  • ArtemisRuns
    ArtemisRuns Posts: 251 Member
    I guess it's all about your perspective. I think everyone has a pity party for themselves once in a while! It's ok! We know it can suck but we can do it and be glad we did!

    I have a friend who is a brilliant Algebra teacher with 2 young children. He always takes good care of himself. He has Type I Diebetes and has to wear an insulin pump and is very careful about eating - the right portions and at just the right time, or else he has serious problems. Yeah, that's not really fair but he has to do it, he has no choice.

    Mom always used to say, if anyone ever told you life was fair, they lied to you.

    Good luck!
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
    Not sure how this is unfair. what do you think the rest of us have to do? There really aren't 35 choices to make in a week. Just one. Do you want to take control of your life and eat within your calorie budget or would you rather say "Poor Me!!!" and throw in the towel before giving weight loss a sincere shot?

    It's okay if you choose the latter option. Doesn't make you a failure; it just means you aren't ready yet. I was in "Poor Me, This is Hard" mode for years before I finally decided that I was in charge of my own fate.

    Yep. My thoughts exactly. And I also love food.

    You can do this - but while it may be true that it's 80% diet and 20% exercise, applying it is 100% mental. Make that one decision every day. Do the best you can. Don't beat yourself up when you aren't perfect, but try not to blame other things either. Every day is new.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    Life is not fair, but everybody has to make choices. Either do it or don't.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    If you feel like you're set up for failure...the only person who can control that feeling is you. Once you get over being mad about your
    situation maybe you can decide you're worth the trouble. We all have difficulties and you either overcome them or you don't. Wishing you good luck and the strength you need to make yourself a priority.
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    Not sure how this is unfair. what do you think the rest of us have to do? There really aren't 35 choices to make in a week. Just one. Do you want to take control of your life and eat within your calorie budget or would you rather say "Poor Me!!!" and throw in the towel before giving weight loss a sincere shot?

    It's okay if you choose the latter option. Doesn't make you a failure; it just means you aren't ready yet. I was in "Poor Me, This is Hard" mode for years before I finally decided that I was in charge of my own fate.

    Very nicely put and I totally agree. You have to do this when you are ready to see that it is worth it to be healthy even if that is sacrificing what you desire at times. You will get there and when you do you will realize that you are using food to make yourself better, not that food is a punishment or something negative.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
    One more thing:

    "Not ready" doesn't equate with "don't do it" or "you can't be ready." Being ready, or getting ready, is something we all have to do. Maybe you aren't ready, if that's the case, because you simply haven't had the opportunity to see that you're making it harder than it needs to be by focusing on the wrong things (the things you think you can't have, how hard it is, etc) instead of how a few simple choices can improve your life so much.

    I think there has been some great, straightforward advice on this thread. Please don't mistake it for something it isn't and allow yourself to be derailed from the good choices that you have already been making to date or the effort you've already expended or the progress you've already made.

    Rather, I hope it acts as a catalyst for change in the thinking that may really be the current weak point in your program. Let it be a positive thing. I think everyone here wishes you well and hopes that this discussion is part of what helps you to move forward.

    Take care.


    edited to correct a word omission
  • missmegan831
    missmegan831 Posts: 824 Member
    One thing that's worked for me is logging my options BEFORE I eat them. It really helps to cut out some of those empty calories. When you realize that snack you are thinking about eating is going to undo your entire 30 min/ 1hour exercise, your less likely to want to eat it. Lol. Good luck. Also, only step on the scale once a day, around the same time everyday. You'll get a more consistent reading that way :-)

    ^^ THIS... I do the pre planning too sometimes 5 days in advance, kinda like sticking to the menu 'rules' every now and then when life jumps in the way I may tweak things but so far sticking to a plan has changed my relationship with food along with my body :smile:
  • You could look into IF (intermittent fasting) and see if it's something you might like. I do 20/4 IF and it results in a lot less meals to plan for so a lot less chance of making bad choices. I eat all my calories in the evening and go to bed full and satisfied every night. I never feel deprived this way and there's always room for me to have a nice dessert too. Not for everyone but it works great for me.
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
    If you are legitimately motivated to drop pounds and/or improve your health:

    Make sure you drink plenty of water. Helps in several different ways.
    Get more exercise and eat back your calories AND don't starve yourself.
    Make small, sustainable changes at first. Eating is habit for a lot of us and it takes about 30 days to change a habit.

    For me, I quit "dieting" and do much better at just eating what I want, when I want, but stop eating when I hit my calorie limit. Sure, I've made adjustments (mustard instead of mayo on sandwiches, cut back on the junk, et cetera) but, I still have a million food items available to me so I don't feel deprived. I also gave up on those marathon workouts...yuck for me...I just walk 30 minutes a day listening to music and spend 15-20 minutes 3 times a week on a Total Gym. In other words, do what's "do-able" and the weight will come off.

    Oh, and yes. Sometimes it is a little uncomfortable...but that goes away as you start feeling/looking better and as you develop new habits. You're in full control of what you do.
  • readeramm
    readeramm Posts: 23 Member
    One day at a time, one choice at a time. I'm not the healthiest eater but through trial and error I have found the foods that I enjoy and that are healthier than those I used to eat. I get up at 4:30 every day during the week and walk 90 minutes before work and get up at 6 am on the weekends and hike 3-4 hours before it gets too hot. Not fair, but necessary.

    I made years of bad food and exercise choices. Now I have to make better choices every day but I have the drive and commitment to do now what I've failed to many times before. I overcame my defeatist attitude by starting small and working my way up. Aim for 1 pound a week or even 1/2 pound a week. This will at least stabilize your weight and keep you from gaining more. Gradually add in more exercise and you'll get more calories. Once you're moving more and eating less you can step it up to a pound or a pound and a half a week, depending on how big you are and how much you have to lose. None of us got where we are by making 1 bad choice and none of us will reach our goals without a long series of better (but not necessarily perfect) choices.

    Good luck.
  • You know, I was going to write a similar post. But mine was going to ask "Why does the scale say I am weighing a pound or two more when I only eat a few hundred calories over on a day? Doesn't a pound of fat equal something like 3600 calories?"

    I was thinking this all while doing my 3 mile run. When I got back, I fiddled with the scale some to get it to read zero, and then stepped on. And it turns out that instead of gaining on those couple of hundred calories, I had lost a couple of pounds. So, maybe, if you are being good for 99% of your meals, maybe you just need a new scale. I know I do!
  • sorcha1977
    sorcha1977 Posts: 133 Member
    You know, I was going to write a similar post. But mine was going to ask "Why does the scale say I am weighing a pound or two more when I only eat a few hundred calories over on a day? Doesn't a pound of fat equal something like 3600 calories?"

    I was thinking this all while doing my 3 mile run. When I got back, I fiddled with the scale some to get it to read zero, and then stepped on. And it turns out that instead of gaining on those couple of hundred calories, I had lost a couple of pounds. So, maybe, if you are being good for 99% of your meals, maybe you just need a new scale. I know I do!

    It also helps to weigh yourself first thing in the morning, after you use the bathroom. Food and liquids add weight throughout the day. My weight goes up 2-3 pounds by the time the day is over.

    Also, some foods (like high-sodium food or a crazy amount of carbs) can cause bloat. Whenever I eat pizza, I gain two pounds overnight, but I expect it now, and it goes away within a couple of days as long as I drink lots of water and make healthy choices.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    You know, I was going to write a similar post. But mine was going to ask "Why does the scale say I am weighing a pound or two more when I only eat a few hundred calories over on a day? Doesn't a pound of fat equal something like 3600 calories?"

    I was thinking this all while doing my 3 mile run. When I got back, I fiddled with the scale some to get it to read zero, and then stepped on. And it turns out that instead of gaining on those couple of hundred calories, I had lost a couple of pounds. So, maybe, if you are being good for 99% of your meals, maybe you just need a new scale. I know I do!

    Sodium and glycogen, as well as extra food in your digestive tract.

    When you restrict calories your body's glycogen stores get depleted. When you increase calories your body replenishes the glycogen and you see scale weight gain. It isn't fat, so don't sweat it. You have to eat above your TDEE to gain fat.