Telling People You've Lost Weight... Rude ?

While I agree that asking if someone has noticed something about your appearance puts them on the spot, I also think it's possible to ask that in an innocent way as a segue to tell them you lost weight/got your hair done/got botox. .. whatever. Not everyone has a direct communication style.

People who love you and care about you won't overanalyze how you communicate with them about things you are happy about in life. However, if you insult them for not noticing, which it doesn't sound like you did, then that's taking it a bit too far.

I'm a very direct communicator, so I'll just say, "Woohoo! I lost 5 pounds!" If that's seen as bragging or being rude, then I don't really want that person as a friend. On the other hand, I have friends who are not as direct in their communication, and if they ask if I noticed something, I'll be honest. I don't feel bad for not noticing. It's not my job to constantly notice what's different about people. However, I'm a mild narcissist.

I wouldn't say anything if they want to comment on you they will without having to be asked

It's frustrating for me having lost 40+# and not have anyone "notice" except those who know I've been trying to lose. Honestly, I know I have a lot more weight to get rid of, but I've lost almost 15% of my total body weight & it's not noticeable yet? Hmph...

I think most people are just not that observant, so I wouldn't say it's rude, but it's fishing by asking IMO.

One does not usually discuss their own weight. I may ask someone if they have lost weight or tell them a specific pair of pants.

To me it's not the rudest thing in the world you can do. But, it really depends on the relationship you have with the person you are telling. If this person is someone you can share anything with such as weight loss goals, then it's not rude, saying it all the time to this person is not really rude, but it could get annoying. On the other hand if it's a person you're an aquaintance with, like a person you often see in the supermarket, or in the gym, and those once in a while encounters, then I can see how that is rude (from their perspective) especially if the person struggles with their weight, these people might feel that it's a dig at them due to insecurities, while others will just think it's bragging.

But if it was said to me by an aquiantance I really would not think it's rude, I'd see it as a bit narcisistic but not rude. It's fairly typical for people to share good news to seek some sort of approval. Random aquitances that I have not seen in a while have told me how much weight they have lost, how they don't have to shop in plus size stores anymore, how much money they are making at their job, the level of education they reached since they saw me last, and all this information was shared witthout me asking. I don't get offended, see it as rude, or as a dig at me. In high school and in early college days I would have, but now I realize that some people just want others to notice them, and want to hear praise as some kind of reward for their hard work.

Good job on the weightloss. Losing weight is it's own reward and you don't need other people's praise or approval for the feeling of accomplishment.

It's rude to ask people basically to guess what you've changed. They wind up scrutinizing your appearance, unsure of the correct answer while being totally put on the spot. They are expected to compliment you on something without knowing what that something is.

It's an uncomfortable position to be in.

It's frustrating for me having lost 40+# and not have anyone "notice" except those who know I've been trying to lose. Honestly, I know I have a lot more weight to get rid of, but I've lost almost 15% of my total body weight & it's not noticeable yet? Hmph...

I think most people are just not that observant, so I wouldn't say it's rude, but it's fishing by asking IMO.

If it helps, I only comment on weight loss to people I know are trying to lose. I don't see commenting on their bodies as my business if they haven't chosen to share with me about the state of their bodies. A general compliment is usually the most specific I'll get unless it's something very specific like a haircut.

Wouldn't you rather people brought it up rather than gave you a compliment because you cornered them?

I don't have a problem with even telling people you've lost weight, but actually asking them if they have noticed something and expecting them to guess is offputting and fishing.

Also, when you have a lot to lose, 20lbs isn't that noticeable... I know this, coz I'm there.

wait to see if they bring it up first...i wouldnt just bring it up...im sure ppl have noticed...the only person i care to notice is my husband

At this point the only time I bring up my weight loss is when I get carded. I was 100 pounds heavier when I had my license pic taken and I've lost my physical license and they wouldn't retake my picture for my duplicate. I have been able to get in the joke "I knew I had to do something about my weight when I ate my wallet"

I have had people seriously question if it's me...