Negative Husband

2

Replies

  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I don't think hes being negative I think hes just trying to get you to be realistic..perhaps make a smaller goal at first and use that when talking to him like for me I say I will get to 150 and see what I will look like then decide if I want to go further...he just is being kind and doesn't want u to over do it I think....and I don't think hes insecure either I hate when people jump to that ..hes your husband for a reason not your BF...he wants you to have goals that are a success and ones you can be proud of...
  • missymakayla
    missymakayla Posts: 309 Member
    PROVE IT , DO IT !!!!!!!
  • dwg1010
    dwg1010 Posts: 4 Member
    Men can be such babies he does that to get a rise out of you. I'll tell you how to stop that, the next time he says looks hot say "let me see oh yeah she is hot" then walk away and go workout or walk out and go to the gym lol.
  • mjf0461
    mjf0461 Posts: 470 Member
    My situation is not a negative husband, its a man who he doesnt want me to gain alot of my weight back. But hal's the main cook in the house and I tell him I can't have that or this and he gets pissed. He doesn't understand that I know what works for me and I've tried to explain it and its like talking to a brick wall.

    I was doing great had lost over 88 lbs and then met him, and I've gained 35 lbs back. Everytime I try to get back on my program I get attitude.
  • Buckeyegirlbritt
    Buckeyegirlbritt Posts: 69
    My husband looks at me and tells me, "I love you Honey, but I don't care. I think you look fine the way you are." So, indirectly he's being negative and positive in the same sentence to cover his *kitten*.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    You don't need him to tell you you can or can't - just do it, then rub your slim and toned tushie in his face like you're Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.


    Love your comment.
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
    mine quickly converted over to weight loss mode and quit the resistance once he realized I would feel better, our house would be cleaner, I would cook more, and the sex would get better--- show him how he benefits from your weight loss
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    When I tell my husband how much more weight I want to lose or my fitness goals he always feels the need to remind me I am not in my 20's anymore. Anyone else deal with a negative nancy?
    What I've observed is a husband/wife negative response is usually an echo of similar responses from husband/wife. One says something negative to one, and the other finds something negative to say back. Just an observation.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    You don't need him to tell you you can or can't - just do it, then rub your slim and toned tushie in his face like you're Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.

    LMAO- I needed this today! Thanks!
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 569 Member
    I have a negative nancy in my home, he acts like me working out three days a week is obsessive, says I'm working out all the time..........3 days a week for an hour..........come on. I have to laugh and say no it's recommended, and obsessive is a word lazy people use for dedicated. I also tell him if he wants a 300lb wife he should keep pushing me about it and I'll just let myself go.

    Some people feel like any time not devoted to them is time wasted. :/
  • gogoyubarino
    gogoyubarino Posts: 104 Member
    You should mention how baldness makes him look older than his x-number of years.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    My boyfriend told me "you'll never buy a house". (meaning I'm too picky to pick one -kinda true). I bought a house and we are now living happily in it since June!

    Discourage me... I will laugh and do it anyway! Bwahahaha
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    Maybe he's just cheating on you. Or jealous. Or trying to sabotauge you.

    You should be negative back! Like in math, two negatives make a positive!!!!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    wow, insecurity?
  • dwg1010
    dwg1010 Posts: 4 Member
    Ive lost 50lbs since having a baby in April and my husband has yet to tell me I'm looking better but he will comment on girls FB pics and tell them they are hot =/. I think i'm losing the battle =(
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
    Take no notice of him.
  • dwg1010
    dwg1010 Posts: 4 Member
    Sorry guys I'm messing this up. I think i got it now forgive me
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    Mine can be, but only when he feels he's not making progress. So, perhaps your man is just projecting?
  • aboe3371
    aboe3371 Posts: 2
    Hi young lady! The question is not about what your husband says, or does. It is the meaning you give them. If you want to truly get to your goal weight and stay there, you must look at the patterns that have gotten you to the place you are right now.
    1- Are the actions of your husband an emotional trigger for food?
    2- When does he make these comments?
    3- How do we interrupt the patterns above?
    Everything we do as humans has patterns. We can control these patterns by learning to recognize them, and then finding strategies to interrupt them.
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    Ive lost 50lbs since having a baby in April and my husband has yet to tell me I'm looking better but he will comment on girls FB pics and tell them they are hot =/. I think i'm losing the battle =(

    Talk about disrespectful! I would slap the crap out of my husband if he was complementing other women but not me!
  • dchrise
    dchrise Posts: 3 Member
    I learned a long time ago that if I wanted to lose weight, I was doing it for my OWN well being. If you're not getting the support at home, find people who do support you. Just look at all the great support you receive here!!! Keep going and SHOW him how much this means to you - maybe he'll take the hint.
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    Ive lost 50lbs since having a baby in April and my husband has yet to tell me I'm looking better but he will comment on girls FB pics and tell them they are hot =/. I think i'm losing the battle =(

    Nice job on your part for loosing the weight, 50lbs is AWESOME! Sound like the weight isn't the only thing you should loose. No offense but that is truly very disrespectful... WOW!!
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    Quit seeking his approval and just do it. If he continues making negative comments once you stop asking for his opinion, then it's going to be time to reexamine why you're in this relationship.
  • dj0jazzy
    dj0jazzy Posts: 56 Member
    Maybe he's just jealous. Maybe he wants to do what your doing but feels like he can't. I know it's hard but try not to listen to him because you are doing an amazing job!
  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
    I looked at your profile to see if you were in your 60's or something. You are 36. You don't have any age related limits. Sheesh. Tell him to go jump in a lake.
  • Escape_Artist
    Escape_Artist Posts: 1,155 Member
    You don't need him to tell you you can or can't - just do it, then rub your slim and toned tushie in his face like you're Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.

    ^^ This :flowerforyou:
  • l911jnt
    l911jnt Posts: 164 Member
    My husband is extremeley supportive and is losing a few pounds himself. He loves me big or small and goes out of the way to show it.... but we've been together 18 yrs too.... I found that earlier in our marriage he didn't really like me doing things to make myself look better. I think it intimidated him and he thought I would find someone else to move on to. The way you said he says that to you kind of sounds like that may be his line of thinking. Sometimes they are insecure and take it out on us without really meaning too. This might not be true for you but just a thought. Now he loves me no matter what I do and I am proud of him for striving to do better. Hope it gets better for you.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    The key here is insecurity. If you're insecure everything he says can be viewed in a negative light.

    If he seems enthusiastic and supportive of your new fitness endeavor, you can turn around and say "so you think I'm fat now?"
    If he seems resigned and indifferent because he thinks you're fine today, you can turn around and say "you're so negative".

    It's nice to have cheerleaders, but at the end of the day you alone carry the ball.
  • RunningSwede
    RunningSwede Posts: 42 Member
    As his comments are impacting how you feel, I might recommend you get it out in the open. Ask him what's his motivation in telling you these demotivating comments. You may want to ask him to explain his concerns/fears regarding your quest for a healthier future. Open the dialogue. See what he as to say and then go from there. Good luck.
  • Tyree985
    Tyree985 Posts: 22 Member
    Not mine! My husband encourages me to the point where I want to say geez you really act like I'm big as a house! Like most husband's it takes him forever to complete a task that I ask like wash the dishes. Yet when we have to move the exercise equipment from our exercise room to the family room (I like to watch TV while on the treadmill) he does that with no hesitation. He even bought me workout close, that I didn't ask for let me point out, and after 10 years together I can count on one hand the articles of clothing he has bought me. Although I appreciate the encouragement I would prefer if he simply complimented me every so often instead of making me feel like if I stop losing weight he would be disappointed.

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